Stunt Granny Audio: OHPA 7

Ken and Kevin are back again after a week off because of Kevin’s travel schedule. They are here to celebrate episode seven with number seven from the Steelers, Ben Roethlisberger. Is he a guest? Of course not, we can’t get anyone that famous. Big Ben was at Pirates game shagging flys and hitting batting practice. For the second straight show, Ken tortures Kevin with memories of Idiot Intern. This time the subject matter is marbles. How much should one invest in marbles according to Idiot Intern? Is this art work by Mike Gong even comparable to what Idiot Intern collected? Is there any redeeming value to regular marbles after seeing what this gentleman can do with them? Ken & Kevin stay in the world of art by talking about a photographer putting together Gifs buildings that he has photographed. Where is the original building? Why do the guys talk about the link after talking about the art? Good thing they can link it in this write up before this miscue ever hits their ears. They move on to celebrate the start of the World Cup by talking about the videos of soccer trick shot artist Remi Gaillard.  Don’t worry, here’s the link to the Deadspin story since they repeated the same mistake immediately after the first one. How good is this guy? Are the long distance shots more impressive? How about the ones that require English? Why did Ken not watch the video below the original? Are those ones more believable? How much of a dick can Remi be? How many buildings can Kevin list from the video in Paris? They wrap up their show with their third bit of sports talk, Bad British Hockey Commentary from @amhrichardson. What parts are funny? Which ones aren’t so good? Can you hear the clip of the Bad British NFL Commentary through Kevin’s lap top? Last but not least, what’s the #SippyTimeBeer of the week? Find out when you click on the link below!

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #Raw

This child is embracing the hate. John Cena should too.

After getting a review of last week’s ending of Raw, Kane comes out to talk. He says we’re all disappointments. My teams are a disappointment right now. Dear lord. Can we fast forward to the 2012-2013 season already? The Steelers weren’t going to win the Super Bowl because of their injuries. If the Penguins have one more injury this year, they might need more minor league players. Kane tells everyone that yells “Cena sucks” that they aren’t embracing the hate. Weird logic that isn’t holding up for me. Kane is going to get what he wants, consequences. That’s another weird moment. John Cena hits the ring and a brawl ensues. Cena is embracing the hate by using a pipe.  Kane pulls a Batman and disappears. Gasp! (That’s sarcasm.)

Sheamus is the next out. Nice of them to try and make Smackdown sound important. Sean calls to tell me to watch the LSU vs Alabama game. I pretty much miss the match with Santino & Sheamus against Jinder Mahal & Wade Barrett. I didn’t really need to see it with Jinder being buried deeper than a serial killer’s victim. Johnny Wooden GM tells us Brodus Clay will debut tonight and he tells the Miz to get protection for R Truth. Are they telling us that Brodus will be the Miz’s protection?

The first Hall of Fame nominee is the Rated R Superstar, Edge. I thought they’d give him a little more time on the shelf before selecting him. I’m surprised they think he’s this important. Oh goody, we get a second inductee tonight. The Miz was interviewing Mason Ryan who walked away. Zack Ryder talks scared with his dad but goes tough guy when Eve Torres shows up. He asks her out. Eve agrees. We know this isn’t reality. Kane was creeping. Him & his mood lighting.

Kofi Kingston gets to job to Daniel Bryan who may indeed be going heel. Mitchell is pointing out his cowardice. Jerry Lawler agrees with him so I’ll lean more towards the heel turning. Bryan turns a cross body into a LeBell Lock. That looked sloppy at first but mades sense in the end. Cool is confused since he knows he’ll be rooting for Bryan when he turns for good. Big Show arrives. Bryan says that he agrees the ending of the match on Smackdown wasn’t suitable for him either. Big Show informs him that it’s no count out, no DQ match on Smackdown. Doesn’t that even the odds for Bryan actually? Either interference or by using weaponry.

Royal Rumble hype while I watch the end of the first half. Alabama up 9-0. Only 6 more points to get to the last grand total of 15. I’m smelling swerve. Planet Funk? Funkasaurus? What the fuck? I do dig the fedora. More of a pot pie style. Cool is snickering. Curt Hawkins gets a rare appearance. I’m so confused. But I’m laughing. Is he going to have the dancing girls every week? Zack talks himself up then Miz lobbies Primo & Epico for some reason. Rosa walking away is her only deficiency. She could use some more booty. CM Punk laughs at him on his way to work. Am I watching Impact Wrestling? Those segments were way too short and randomly thrown together.

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TNA Potpourri

Doctors say she needs a faceotomy!

Man, I hate TNA. Have I ever mentioned that? I just wanted to make sure.

Sarah “Sarita” Stock is currently out of action due to facial paralysis. He missed her match last night in Pachuca, Mexico, as well as tonight’s show at Arena Mexico. No word if she will be ready by Monday’s television tapings in Orlando. She is not scheduled for Sunday’s PPV show.

Now, my life is predicated on two things and two things only. One is that I always have an abundant supply of spaghetti to, uh, eat. Yeah that’s it. The other is to have the ability to move my face. So, you know, that’s gotta really suck.

TNA Impact rating was a 1.1.

They could have Jesus come down and deliver Abyss a pizza and I’m not sure they would get beyond a 1.1.

What looks to be the next Impact taping on the road is scheduled for 8/25 in Huntsville, AL, at the Von Braun Center.

I recognize the Von Braun Center as a regular Superstars taping locale back in the day. I wonder also if Hardcore Holly will be in attendance there. I wonder why they haven’t brought him in yet since a) they bring absolutely everyone in who has WWE on their resume at some point, and b) Russo loves those worked shoots, so it would seem natural for him to want to book a Holly vs. Mr. Anderson feud at some point. Have I mentioned how much Mr. Anderson sucks? I just want to make sure that is mentioned. – Dusty

Kevin Nash cleared of battery charges, is awesome on Twitter

Kevin Nash

Kevin Nash, doing all the training he needs to beat up a drunk fan, Ricky Morton and a guy on Twitter, all at once.

According to Prowrestling.net, Kevin Nash was cleared of battery charges in Florida (that’s pretty vague, but OK) stemming from an incident at a restaurant where a drunk man hit on Nash’s wife, and then the drunk man claims Nash hit on *him*… with his *fists*! Turns out there was no evidence of this humongous seven-foot-tall former pro wrestler, pro bouncer and pro drunk beating the man up (although according to TMZ.com, Nash held the man down until police arrived), so the case was dismissed. Nash added this a few hours ago on his Twitter account:

What great journalism TMZ provides. Nothing about the guy trying to attack me w/ a beer bottle.Guy w/ tattoo’s always gets arrested.

That’s why my tattoo is on the small of my back; it’s an arrow pointing to my butt with text in Old English that reads, “Yes, officer? 😉 ”

In other news, Nash was on a small roll last night on Twitter (@RealKevinNash), talking shit about Ricky Morton. No idea what it’s based on except possibly this YouTube video from three years ago:

Well, Morton would happily take Nash’s money, that’s for sure. Nash said this on Twitter:

Ricky Morton has run his dicksucker for years and I will not put him over. Ricky Walmart is looking 4 greeters, lose the Joe Dirt due

Yep, a new term for “mouth” from Big Sexy. Some dude with the Twitter handle WILDMANBS retorted:

It’s still real to me, dammit!

Oh no, that was that other guy. The WILD One wrote:

Ricky Morton is a legend…you ruined WCW with your “booking!” WCW was top of the line, then you came along! LOL!

To which Nash replied:

Legend dead beat dad 4 going to jail 4 not paying child support.guess your standers are pretty low.matching your IQ

I could spend time hating on Nash for insulting a man’s IQ while spelling “standards” wrong, but I think we know how often Nash & Co. had to deal with Standards and Practices from AOL-Time Warner, so let’s chalk that up as a mistake. On the other hand, WildmanBS appears to be a cross-eyed, college sports-loving doofus from a place called Al…a…bama? Whatever that is, I fear there are more like him there, so I better not shake the retard’s cage anymore. -Eric

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