Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Review: Men in Black 3

Men-in-Black-3When the first trailer debuted for this movie it was groan inducing. Oh look Will Smith is being sarcastic and shit again. Is that a gruff Tommy Lee Jones? Wait, what the hell is Josh Brolin doing in this movie? The most important question though was ;  was another Men in Black movie really necessary? Was anyone clamoring for a follow up after the disaster of Men in Black 2? So, going in to this expectations were low and part of e really wanted to hate this movie. Well, despite all of that, Men in Black 3 was pretty entertaining. Sure it is full of flaws and was a little too proud of its cleverness (Lady Gaga is an alien? No way!) but it was at least fun. It ran the risk of losing the audience though as the set up took a it too long but once the time travel aspect is enacted the movie takes off at a rather brisk pace. The film also has the positive creative direction to barely explain the time travel rules while at the same time minimally giving the audience an idea of what they can and can;t do. make sense? Well welcome to Men in Black 3. Just go with it and do not think of what is going on for maximum enjoyment. -Jeremy

The Art of Wresting: Jeff Hardy Part I

In my Twitter Compilation, I noted that I should look at Jeff Hardy’s new shirt. I forgot to note that he has two of them. I’m going to break it into two articles because both of them are very interesting. The first shirt that came out was named Through Tha Night. I felt like it would be a disservice to throw up a picture of something like Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh even if I think Jeffery Nero Hardy definitely had inspiration from him. You don’t compare anything to one of the greatest pieces of art ever. One nit I’m going to pick that is not related to the design is the name. If you’re going to spell The funky, why not shorten Through to Thru? Jeff could have gone with Nigh to wrap up the name. It was bugging me. I had to say it. Moving on to the design.

Jeff has decided to go without a design on the rear. There is the 10TNA tag back there but that doesn’t count. I’ve got to admit, going without a design on the back is a plus to me. It makes it feel less like a wrestling shirt which almost always has a catch phrase on the back.

The design is on the front and it appears to be an adapted painting of his own. He signed it in the lower right hand side which is the only reason I knew his middle name. His signature looks like a version of a shark or some type of fish with two fins. I was trying to discern his initials so here’s my theory. You can argue the back and face of the fish is a J. I’d then say that the fin is an N. For some reason or another, though I can’t spot an H. Maybe the inside of the J but I’m not buying it.

The focal point of Jeff’s design looks like it is a caricature of himself that has a bit of a stained glass feel because of the dark outline that is mostly black. The remainder of the painting doesn’t have a dark border until the edge of the painting. He has his purple and blue hair flowing at the top right hand side of the painting. “Jeff” has paint on his face that is in orange. He has a almond sliver eye that is white with blue tinting around the outside. The blue pops up again in his neck then further down in his arms. It looks like an abstract set of veins to me. The arm shown reaches to the other side of the shirt but is cut short before the hands. I believe the hands show up above and below the arm though. On the top, there is a webbed blue shape the it topped at each crest of the wave with a white ovular area that is a finger nail. Below the the arm, the colors are darker but it is the same design.

There is not much design that I see as belonging with the person presented as I do. Between the hands and the body, he has waves that some what echo the shape of hands but there seems to be no rhyme or reason for them. Orange and lighter green runs above and below the arm. Above the arm contains a couple of blue green rivers, one of which connects with the forehead. For some reason there is a blob of light blue below it that terminates near the point of the nose. A dark blue blob shows up directly below the nose which seems forced. Below the chin, is a dark blue field that is lighter than what is under the nose but dark enough to contrast with the baby blue. A similar pattern appears three times below the arm. The one pattern is engulfed by the purple color and almost forms what could look like a mouth.

This conglomerate of shapes helps to bring down the quality of the art. But I don’t think in the least bit changes the value of the shirt. It’s one of the freshest shirts I’ve seen in a long time. I like the quality of shirts for CM Punk but it’s stealing designs from the city of Chicago. I could even cite the older version of Jeff Hardy’s shirt which was a rip off of Andy Warhol. This shirt is Jeff’s handy work. I like the colors, the contrasts even if I think it doesn’t make me think of the night. -Kevin

The Art of Wrestling: Warhol Affliction

TNA thinks it's being creative. They're not.

jeremymaes: they are all the same damn shirt
jeremymaes: that makes it easier
difrango11: Why wasn’t Roode wearing these in the build up for BFG?
jeremymaes: shh, you make sense
difrango11: Yes, they’re all the same Affliction rip off shirt
jeremymaes: I mean just about everyone, save Jeff Hardy and Sting
difrango11: Jeff’s is even pretty tired with it being a Warhol rip off, which they acknowledge. When the WWE rips off designs, they alter them some and give it a different spin like Cena’s John Deere inspired shirt. TNA put Hardy in a stock Warhol painting
jeremymaes: dude, you know what is coming next.  post it. hell just that little thing here.
difrango11: I suppose they made it different since Marilyn Monroe’s face is on it and Hardy has his whole body in it. I was going to ask if you were bating me into a column
jeremymaes: yes I was but I noticed the same things

This exchange happened and finally got my ass in gear even though I started a column earlier this month about CM Punk’s Halloween package over at Jeremy said that I could just leave our chat alone, but I couldn’t. I feel the need to explain myself more. The anger of the issues presented here make me want to do this article more than the CM Punk Halloween package. I can break this column down to three parts.

Jeremy’s comment: They are all the same damn shirt. Click on the links, they pretty much are. They have some type ovular middle with wings of some sort sprouting off of them. Many people, like Steve Austin or Randy Orton, have the same theme over and over again. That is fine but they wait months in between bringing out the new design. Robert Roode has two of them come out at the same time. Let him wear the first shirt in the build up to Bound For Glory, which is so much of a no brainer TNA didn’t do it. After Roode wins the title, you have him wear the new shirt for a while then he busts out the new four months down the road. Of course TNA did the dumb thing, had Roode lose and then not even have him wear his shirt on the next Impact Wrestling. It’s mind numbingly dumb. Velvet Sky was wearing hers after her big title win (You got the meaningless title change right. Congrats!) as she should have been. It’s called advertising.

My comment: Yes, they’re all the same Affliction rip off shirt. For six of their top nine shirts as Jeremy helped clear up by pointing out the different style of Sting and Jeff Hardy’s shirts. It’s fine to have a template design like the Cena shirt mentioned above. Twist the design somehow by making Bobby Roode’s more about him. The first one doesn’t even have his name on it or a slogan of his. It is in no way identifiable as a shirt for him. Affliction can get away with doing that because they’re a brand of shirt. Roode is not a brand. He is a wrestler in the TNA brand. Roode got his name on the “Off The Chain” shirt but I don’t get the theme much like I was scratching my head when Randy Orton started using a gas mask for a symbol. Velvet Sky’s does have her name on it but doesn’t really make it hers. She has a fantastic assets that are curvy. One would think that you could use those to base your ovular design on but they didn’t.

My comment: Jeff’s is even pretty tired with it being an Andy Warhol rip off, which they acknowledge. I started to back track and I should have. I’m probably not going to ever argue that Warhol was the greatest artist ever. His paintings still have more depth to them than Hardy’s shirt does. Seeing as though Jeff fancies himself as an artist, I’m not sure how he’d say “That looks great!” unless he’s doing naughty things again. If you’re wondering about how I could say Warhol has depth with a lithographed painting, take a look at the painting of Marilyn Monroe then Hardy’s shirt. The images of Monroe are all different. On the left hand pair, her teeth are colored, her famous mole is the same as the background color and her skin color is consistent. On the right hand pair, her teeth are white, the mole is a different colored than the background and her skin color has different tones of the same color. There are other variations but I think you get the point. On Hardy’s shirt, the background color in the upper left hand corner is the highlight color in the lower right hand corner. The same is true of the upper right and lower left hand corners. TNA could have highlighted his necklace, earrings, hair or even his trade mark forearm socks to make it closer to authentic but they didn’t.

TNA ripped off Affliction and Andy Warhol with these shirts. Neither of these examples set the bar really high to be able to reproduce. TNA managed to still do a poor job of replicating them without putting a twist on them. Most people learn from their mistakes, TNA seems incapable of doing that simple task. -Kevin

The Art of Wrestling – Bret vs. Hulk

WWE & TNA are trying to chase the dollars in the sky too.

After the big “Monday Night War”, which concluded on TNA’s part since Spike is putting UFC on this coming Monday, you had to know that both companies would be competing for your dollars for either Bret Hart or Hulk Hogan t-shirts. So in I step to give my take on the shirts. As Dusty & I talked about in this audio, both of these legends have their own color scheme which of course are Pink & Black and Red & Yellow. On, Bret Hart was the first thing I saw. They did scroll through other products. On, the first thing I saw was Sting. I had to scroll down to see the pictures of Hogan’s t-shirts. TNA did scroll through Hogan’s shirts at the top of the page but it should have been the first image you see.  On to reviewing the shirts.

Bret Hart’s shirt is pretty typical of what his other shirts of the past. It has a skull that is centered on a pink heart. The skull is sprouting black wings which has a matrix of of white & lighter gray on the inside, a darker support gray going to the points of the wings and a nice outline of gray around the outside. The outline intertwines with the design in the background which looks like some growing vines. I think the design would work better if the vine design were white but it has enough contrast to look pretty good.

Hulk Hogan has two shirts that TNA is selling. I’m going to gloss over the first one because it is the classic/retro red shirt with yellow “Hulkamania” text. It seems that classic is still quite viable even if it’s not quite all the rage. I’m sure it’ll sell well.

The second shirt is a take off of the Barack Obama “Change” poster. I saw the “Hope” poster and they have the same design principles. Shepard Fairey was the artist who created these iconic images. He also created “Andre the Giant Has a Posse” in 1989 while at the Rhode Island School of Design. Take a look at his multiple designs for Andre here. Fairey got inspiration from old lithography posters much like Andy Warhol’s art in my eyes. The right hand side of the poster is yellow including Hogan’s face while the left hand side is yellow. Hogan’s fu manchu and what is left of his hair is white. They have “Hulkamamania” across the middle of his bandana which stays yellow. Hogan has a pair of sunglasses on above the letter. The frames change color from left to right. Hogan is wearing a black t-shirt so that you can see the word “Change” in yellow at the bottom. In the middle of the word is a faint TNA logo. The poster is bordered by pale yellow trim. On the back is a TNA logo and Hulkamania in red.

Wahrol's style was different but the new ones developed from it.

I don’t think this works quite as well because all of that yellow is a little too assaulting to me. I think it’d work better if Hogan’s face had more white in it rather than just making his fu manchu white. The Obama poster has more of a vertical feel because it uses red, beige & blue in his face. The fu manchu just throws that additional color in there without adding any design ideas. The colors aren’t as bright in the original either although I obviously understand the use of Hogan’s colors. With the changing of the colors, I would think they would also want to transition the word Hulkamania from red on the right to yellow on the left so that it was the opposite of the rest of the shirt.

I think the Bret Hart shirt is more successful but Hogan’s first shirt is a classic so it will sell well. No matter how much I picked apart Hogan’s second shirt, it is still creative and will also sell like hotcakes. – Kevin

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