Kurt Angle garble garble pills garble Olympics just humor him

According to Prowrestling.net, Kurt Angle is still blabbering on about how he’s training for the 2012 Summer Olympics. At age 42. With a withering body and a permanently screwed-up neck. Sounds like a plan, Stan. Let’s listen in on his interview with Busted Open, wrestling’s ONLY twice-weekly afternoon insider satellite radio show…

I started training [for the Olympics] two weeks ago. I’m not allowed to really talk about but I’m gonna make a formal press conference in August.

Most people aren’t allowed to talk about things for legal reasons, not because they’re full of shit.

I don’t want to quit wrestling because that’s getting me to where I can get my Angle Foods where I need it to go.

So pro wrestling is a stepping stone to launching a product line of shitty food via a Twitter handle (@AngleFoods1) from which you bitch about other wrestlers using your moves and then hours later, once the haze has passed, you claim someone “hacked” your account? Looks logical to me.

Jeff [Hardy] made a mistake. If he was going to take any form of, let’s say, sleep medication… he probably should’ve waited an hour before he did that.

Expert advice from Dr. Angle.

Jeff has been clean for the last month…

Says the guy who wouldn’t know clean if it shot him in the butt cheek with 20 cc’s of Angle Foodiness.

The primary takeaways from this interview are that he still loves wrestling, as long as it’s on his own terms, which stem from being with a company that will stupidly pay him an exorbitant amount of money to hardly ever wrestle in front of a paying crowd, all while the ratings he helps “draw” teeter between 1.1 and 1.11. That and I could probably try out for the Olympics, too. I just can’t talk to you about it here. -Eric

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