Stunt Granny Audio #260

From breakdanceworld.com

From breakdanceworld.com

After a break from talking to each other, Jeremy & Kevin are back to talk wrestling. Except that they start talking about Jeremy’s receiver and X Box problems. Did Kevin see the commercial that has caused X Box owners problems? Is that how they transitioned to talking about the studio analysts of the World Cup? What makes them different from other commentators on TV? Why did they start adding so many talking heads to College Game Day? Who does Jeremy want to get the boot? Speaking of people getting the boot, there is speculation that Josh Matthews is out of a job with the WWE. Did he ever get a fair shake? How long did he announce Smackdown? Why did Michael Cool take his spot? Do your hosts think he is finally doing a good job? How vanilla has he gotten? Does he even do play by play any more? Why did a Josh Matthews conversation turn into Michael Cole conversation? Kevin moves on to clarify his article about ROH changing world champions from Adam Cole to Michael Elgin. But this clarification turns the conversation into a talk about TNA’s bizarre decision to remove the belt from Eric Young? Why would they do it right before his television appearances for “No Limits” on Animal Planet? What style of booking led to TNA winning at Slammiversary but then dropping the belt at the next Impact Wrestling? Do the guys talk themselves into saying that Eric Young is the best option as champion in TNA? Find out the answer to that question and more when you click on the link below.

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@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

Copy Cats– TNA is trying to copy the WWE again and failing miserably. Eric Young won a ten man gauntlet battle royal. I feel like they’re trying to make Eric Young the big underdog that the WWE made out of Daniel Bryan. It’s also just a tad bit convenient that they both have beards and crazy hair. They’re both undersized wrestlers. They’ve both been around for a while. Unfortunately for TNA, those surfaces similarities is where things stop. Let’s go point by point.

Underdog Status: Eric Young has been “under appreciated” his whole career in TNA is what he claims. Which is similar to, Daniel Bryan’s underdog, B+ status except that Bryan has proved it in the ring for the last four years in the WWE. Before that, he was one of the most respected in ring competitors for years in Ring of Honor before it was terrible. Eric Young has proven that he’s a capable wrestler over his ten year stint in TNA. Capable is nowhere near most respected worker in the business. Win: Daniel Bryan.

Crazy Beard & Crazy Hair: Both of them do indeed have large beards. One could make the argument that Young’s hair type makes his beard thicker than the Bryan beard that lays flat and straight. The crazy hair is where Young loses me. He’s going bald both in the back and receding in the front. Bryan just let’s that stuff grow hippie style which looks scrongey to me but it is a style that works for him. Win: Daniel Bryan.

Undersized & Been Around: I lumped these together because they have both partially been covered in the above topics. Young is not the wrestler that Bryan is. So his underdog gimmick is not believable. Another reason it isn’t believable is because Young hasn’t faced top flight competition. Daniel Bryan had Randy Orton “beaten” before HHH Pedigreed him. He had also beaten other top competition. Young has beaten no one. He didn’t even get to beat Abyss in their feud! Young hasn’t advanced his career in ten years. I don’t care if he ever hosted a barely watched TV show on Animal Planet. Bryan has worked his ass off for fifteen years and progressing at a solid pace. He is undersized so he has more to prove than your average wrestler. Considering he just captured the WWE Title at Wrestlemania XXX, I’d say he’s advanced as high as you can in professional wrestling. Win: Daniel Bryan.

Holy Shit: I never read spoilers so if this was posted I didn’t know about it. TNA actually had Eric Young win the TNA Title like Bryan just did. Just an incredibly dumb decision. I thought for sure since he got the shot on a “regular” Thursday night broadcast that he’d lose to Magnus. So I was more surprised at this victory than Bryan’s but that’s not a good thing. He shouldn’t win your most important title for the reasons listed above. For all of the dumb decisions TNA has made, this is the biggest. Ever. I apologize to Ring of Honor now for publishing the article directly below this one. You are absolved of all sins. Epic Fail: TNA.

News We Missed: Chris Sabin, Animal Planet, Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly

Since we haven’t had a news round up in a while, let’s move on for some small ditties. According to Prowrestling.net, Chris Sabin has torn his other ACL and will be out of action again. You’ve got to feel bad for this guy after being back for no more than two months to have it happen again. Granted, he wasn’t going anywhere since his partner in crime Alex Shelley bolted for some pasture that isn’t even as green as TNA. Maybe Sabin can help design TNA’s video game. Oh that’s right, they’re only good enough to have a board game.

Staying in Impact Wrestling, Eric Young will be hosting a program on Animal Planet called “Off The Hook: Extremes Catches”. His first episode will feature how he keeps catching a contract from Dixie Carter. In the second episode, EY will be explaining how he caught ODB as his wife. In the third episode, we’ll find out what Young can catch in his beard. By the time the fourth episode is ready to air, Animal Planet will realize they’ve wasted more money on EY than TNA so they’ll mercifully cancel the show.

Last but not least, both Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly are set to make returns to the WWE. Orton will be ready to go when the WWE visits Cincinnati for Monday Night Raw. I can’t wait for HHH to come out and rip on him for how skinny Orton has become during his hiatus. Kelly Kelly will be sleeping with the guys in the back starting this coming Monday. She will stick around long enough for the WWE to mention Maxim’s Hot 100 enough to make guys feel like that outdated magazine means anything. If you do like that magazine, I feel sorry for your penis when you jerk off. -Kevin

Headlines: Finlay to ROH, Maven arrested for drugs, Eric Young gets a TV show (not a Corky remake)

Trust me, Eric, we're just as confused as you are about this hosting gig. Then again, your look here makes Guy Fieri look like Bryant Gumbel, so you'll make a great host.

Wow, it’s after-hours news you can use! According to Prowrestling.net, former WWE superstar and backstage producer David “Fit” Finlay has signed with Ring of Honor. The signing makes perfect sense, as Finlay is a well-respected veteran, works tight and realistically without hurting others (take a note, Bob Holly) and is of the same generation, if not a smidgen older, than other recent ROH experienced cameos Lance Storm and Jerry Lynn. What else have we learned from this signing? If you are released from WWE but can work (see Benjamin, Shelton and Mondo, Mike), you may end up in ROH. If you are released from WWE because you love drugs and may die soon (see Angle, Kurt and Hardy, both), say hello to TNA.

Speaking of drugs, according to Prowrestling.net, former WWE superstar and “Tough Enough” winner Maven Huffman was arrested in Florida on drug charges, specifically “doctor shopping” for prescription pain killers. According to the report, Huffman was able to score upwards of 1,000 pills from multiple doctors. Remember when Maven was almost a huge star after eliminating Undertaker from the 2002 Royal Rumble? Yeah, well, like I said above, say hello to TNA! In future news, Kurt Angle was found rummaging through Maven’s bag, and when caught, mumbled, “Whah? I’m mot fealing hif pillf!”

And speeeeaking of TNA, according to Prowrestling.net, current fucking idiot Eric Young has been given his own Animal Planet television show. The show, titled “Fish America,” will highlight “creative, unexpected and dangerous” fishing techniques across the country. Maybe I can pitch a segment with my brother, who, honest to god, shocks worms out of the backyard and fishes with a screwdriver bolted to the end of an aluminum pole. The segment ends with my brother redeeming himself by missing the fish and harpooning Eric Young. -Eric

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