The @WWE Slammy Awards Are During #Raw Part II

I'm not amused with these 3 Hour Raws.

I’m not amused with these 3 Hour Raws.

What A Manuever – Who Had The Most Impressive Signature Move? – Daniel Bryan’s Running Knee Strike, AJ Lee’s Black Widow, Roman Reigns’ Spear and Antonio Cesaro’s Giant Swing – I know Daniel Bryan was a popular pick for Part I, but I can’t see him winning this category because his running knee strike doesn’t even have a name yet. AJ Lee isn’t even the center piece of her own division despite being better on the mic, in the ring and having a personality. She’s more of utility player within the WWE since she bounced around to a bunch of men then finally plopped in the Diva’s Division once the crazy story lines had run their course. For some reason, the spear never needs to be renamed no matter who is using it. Roman Reigns certainly was given the ball to run with it at Survivor Series with 4 eliminations but I don’t think he’ll get it. Antonio Cesaro made puking “funny” and has tested his move out on the small and large alike.

Faction Of The Year – Which Group Was Most Dominant in the WWE? – The Shield, The Wyatt Family, The Real Americans & 3MB – 3MB may get a lifetime achievement award if they stick around long enough but that’s the only way they win anything of significance. The Real Americans have gotten a marginally higher spot than 3MB but aren’t that much further ahead so they won’t win. For the third time in 7 awards, we’re down to the Shield and the Wyatt Family. As stated before, the Wyatts have done nothing of consequence so far so the Shield should take this easily because of their title reigns & destruction of the Undertaker & The Rock.

Best Crowd of The Year – Which Live Audience Rocked The House? – Raw After Wrestlemania (East Rutherford), WWE Payback (Chicago), Summerslam (LA) and Raw in London – I’ve only seen two of these crowds because I rarely order PPVs. Chicago usually has a good crowd so I’m not surprised they’re on the list. I hate Anaheim crowd but not sure about LA crowds. I’m sure they were fired up. Raw in London was just trying to imitate Raw After Wrestlemania so they win hands down. I’m glad they set a bar and most crowds have stepped up their game.

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The @WWE Slammy Awards Are During #Raw Part I

Remember the days a 3 hour Raw weren't standard?

Remember the days a 3 hour Raw weren’t standard?

Breakout Star of the Year – The Wyatt Family, Big E Langston, Fandango and the Shield. We all know that Fandango is thrown into this vote to acknowledge his fleeting moments of fame. Summer Rae is getting front billing these days. Big E Langston has only been hot for the past two months so he is out. The Wyatt Family has been operational for several months now but they have lacked any impact. They abducted Kane, who then left for a month, came back, kicked their asses then changed identities. They had several other consistent attacks but never stuck to them for long. Now they’re in a feud with Daniel Bryan. They are recruiting him but I’m not sure what that would do for either side. So the winners have to be The Shield, even though they started last year at Survivor Series. Tag Title & US Title reigns along with an imminent Roman Reigns push makes them an easy winner.

“This Is Awesome” Moment of the Year – Dolph Ziggler Cashes In Money In The Bank, Daniel Bryan Wins WWE Championship Against Randy Orton at Night of Champions, Big Show Knocks Out HHH and Kofi Kingston Chair Hop To Stave Off Elimination at the Royal Rumble – Kofi Kingston will have a spot on this award for a long time. Fortunately, he will never win because he’s a spot whore. I don’t care that Big Show knocked out HHH because it led to a title defense by Randy Orton and that’s about it. I would love for my boy Dolph Ziggler to win this category. It was a huge moment on Raw with an absolutely raucous crowd to get behind the title change. Unfortunately, he was booted in the skull by Jack Swagger and never got his spot back. Even if he did, I doubt he would have eclipsed Daniel Bryan‘s last six months. Well, really his last year and a half but which is relevant only because the people voting most likely go for the most popular wrestler. That makes the Bearded One an easy winner.

Trending Now – Who Created the Biggest Online Buzz? – #BelieveInTheShield, #FollowTheBuzzards, #BestForBusiness and #WeThePeople – I’m glad Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are getting a nice nod for their work this year but they can’t win this vote being heels. #BestForBusiness won’t win for heel reasons also. HHH & Steph don’t need any more awards either. That leaves us with the same final two for Break Out Star of The Year, The Wyatts & The Shield. In this case, I think The Wyatts will win because they have been using their catch phrase more this year than the Shield, who because of the title reigns have been using their catch phrase less.

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Weekend Rewind – Survivor Series Predictions

future-crystal-ballJeremy and I attempted to predict the results of Survivor Series. I don’t remember Jeremy’s picks although they were generally the opposite of mine. I didn’t order the pay per view itself because as we discussed, the WWE didn’t give us much incentive to put down money on it. So let’s run through the results and see how I did.

Survivor Series Pre-Show

Kofi Kingston vs The Miz – We both agreed on this one. The newly minted heel would get the win. No one was surprised that the Miz won this one. We’re off to a good start.

Survivor Series

Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust & The Usos vs The Shield & The Real Americans – My prediction was that Roman Reigns & Antonio Cesaro would be the sole survivors. I was half right since Reigns was the only survivor. One of the bigger surprises to me reading the results was the fact that Dean Ambrose got eliminated first, at the 2:15 mark. Jack Swagger got his just desserts next and got pinned second. The third elimination was another surprise to me because Antonio Cesaro was half of my prediction. The WWE has been pushing him pretty heavily but I will now assume him and Swagger will hold the Tag Team championships. If Cesaro had been a survivor, I would have expected him to get a singles push. For now, only Roman Reigns gets it.

Big E Langston vs Curtis Axel – Big E defended the Intercontinental Title successfully. This was not a surprise either. What was a surprise was Cody Rhodes admitting on ChadDukesWrestlingShow.com (by way of Prowrestling.net) that he paid for the white title strapped I.C. Title. He got refunded which is good because no one popped for it unless they were backstage.

Natalya, Eva Marie, Jojo, The Bella Twins & The Funkadctyls vs A.J. Lee, Tamina Snuka, Alicia Fox, Summer Rae, Aksana, Kaitlyn &  Rosa Mendes – Jeremy & I were wrong that it’d be a pin fall match up. We did however speculate that if they did go elimination style match that the pin falls would be rapid fire and that is exactly what happened. Natalya & Nikki ended up winning because they’re on Total Divas, which will be watched tonight by the woman & I.

Mark Henry vs Ryback – We had no prediction for this match because it wasn’t on the card. To no one’s surprise, the guy making the big return got the victory. Have fun with the de-push Ryback because it’s in full motion.

John Cena vs Alberto Del Rio – Cena is starting to become like the Undertaker during Wrestlemania season. I think there are only so many ways to build up a credible opponent for Taker at WM. Well, there’s only so many credible ways to build up opponents for Cena during the entire year now. His arm has been assaulted over and over again by Damien Sandow & Alberto Del Rio but it still didn’t lead to me thinking of Del Rio as a credible opponent. You do know Cena won, right?

CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs Luke Harper & Erick Rowan – I got this one wrong and Jeremy was right since Harper took the pin fall against Punk. I thought Bray Wyatt would interfere and cost the baby faces the match. That did not happen. The WWE was smart enough to have the Shield run rough shod over the WWE to look good. They are not giving the Wyatt Family as much love. They deserved to win in a cheating manner to keep their heat going. Instead the Wyatts are been following the buzzards in circles which keeps leading them back to where they started, nowhere.

Randy Orton vs Big Show – The Authority did as promised and no one physically got involved in this match. But they got us by using the classic music tease level of interference. It will continue to confound me as to why any wrestlers, baby face or heel, reacts to the music. You’ve seen it played out on TV at least once a month. It costs you matches! Watch some game film and be prepared for it. Jeremy & I agreed on this finish and were correct. The big take away from this Randy Orton win though is John Cena coming out and holding up his title as The Authority clapped for the Orton victory. Are we getting a unification match for the WWE & World Championships? It sure looks like it. Are Big E Langston & Dean Ambrose going to get a bump since they have the secondary titles? Looks of speculation to keep you hooked for Monday Night Raw. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio – Survivor Series Preview

Survivor-Series-2013-Wallpaper-HD

Google told me this is from BleacherReport.com

Jeremy & Kevin are back again as they promised for a Survivor Series preview. They start at the bottom which for this pay per view means the Miz versus Kofi Kingston. They quickly move along to the main card. Big E Langston will defend the IC Title against Curtis Axel. Which host wanted to see Big E get the win on the show instead of Raw? Which one thinks Big E will get a crowning win at the PPV anyway? Total Divas gets a match against an odd bunch of heels. Weren’t AJ Lee and Kaitlyn just feuding? Who was Diva of the Day so that Jeremy & Kevin could fawn over her? The guys start talking about the only traditional tag team match between The Usos, Cody Rhodes, Goldust & Rey Mysterio taking on The Shield & The Real Americans. The hosts are at odds again. Was it good for Mysterio to be revealed on Raw? Or should they have waited for the PPV? How many of these guys were in the Raw main event that Jeremy & Kevin loved? They both agree that helps keep them away from this show. How much luster is lost when our hosts realize Bray Wyatt isn’t a part of the Wyatt Family match with CM Punk & Daniel Bryan? Will he interfere or not? Again the hosts are split in their decision. The next match on the docket is John Cena defending his World Championship against Alberto Del Rio. How few words do they expend on this match because of it’s predictable ending? Last is Randy Orton defending his WWE Championship against Big Show. Is the WWE Title less important than the World Championship now? Do the hosts agree on the ending to this match? Find out when you click the link below.

WWE Is The Worst? Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards At WWE Performance Center

American Wolves ToysAccording to Prowrestling.net, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards were at the WWE Performance Center on Monday. First, I had to laugh that even though Jason Powell didn’t bag on them like I did when Richards made a not so vague statement at Preston City Wrestling but he did come to the same conclusion that I did which is that these two ROH stars will spark the WWE Tag Team division. I’m not sure it needs sparking with The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins), The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan), the Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil), The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger), Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando), 3MB (Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater), The Usos (Jimmy & Jey), Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) and the current champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust. I can’t believe I needed three lines of print to list all of the tag teams which also leaves out the maybe new team from last night of R Truth & Xavier Woods. So the WWE has nine tag teams with a tenth in the making. Does that sound like a company that needs to jump start their tag team division? I’m as guilty as anyone on the internet who buried, dug up and re-buried the tag team multiple times between about 2002 and now but I’d have to say no spark is needed currently. Could the WWE use another team? Sure, because they’ve got more TV time than any daily soap opera.

It was also amusingly noted that they spent time in the ring with Billy Gunn and NXT regulars. I’m not sure what exactly Gunn is going to teach them since he was bad on both the mic and in the ring. At least Richards & Edwards already have the in ring work down. I know the one thing Gunn could teach them is how to market themselves. No one forgets the Billy Gunn theme. No, not the big introduction he got from “Road Dogg” Jesse James during his New Age Outlaws days. This one. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Long_nights_allow_me_to_feel__by_HarlequinFever

HarlequinFever.deviantart.com with a really cool picture.

I’m going to be watching Total Divas before starting my Raw review for the foreseeable future. It’s going to make for some long nights which is what led me to that fantastic picture above. I completely forgot about the Penguins game tonight. I’m going to start this blog even later than I expected. Woo hoo. They play Wednesday night again. Let’s roll.

Video Package Count: 1. They talk about the power struggle, John Cena & Alberto Del Rio, Randy Orton & Big Show and the end of the night melee. I had forgotten about the country theme. It’ll be window dressing like always. I can’t wait for the cow girls Divas match. They waste no time bringing out HHH and Stephanie. They are important because of how poorly things went last week. Hell in a hand basket without them. Randy Orton has a problem with them. Vickie Guerrero does the quietest “Excuse Me” ever which is awesome. Brad Maddox immediately throws Vickie under the bus. Also funny. Stephanie pits AJ Lee against Vickie. HHH gets to tell Maddox his fate, which happens right now.

Well, after a commercial actually. Raw Country meant a country theme song so far. Maddox cracks Orton with a microphone while running away. Maddox tosses him into a ring post then rolls him into the ring. He gets a two count. Orton recovers. That is a nice dress shirt Maddox was wearing. Hanging DDT off the barricade. The crowd is chanting “We want tables”. I don’t think you’ll get them. Orton beats Maddox unconscious. This is all PG because of no blood, right?

Big E Langston gets a crack at Curtis Axel‘s Intercontinental Title. I watched the South Park about X Box One and Playstation 4. I had no idea either game system was in for an upgrade. Haven’t played them in ages. WWE advertising is effective. Langston covers after a shoulder block. Ha. Axel tries to slow things down but it doesn’t work. Langston goes for another pin dumb pin after a back drop. Axel gets control. We get a break. Good to see these young guys get an extended match. Langston goes back to some power moves. Big Splash only gets a two count. Axel gets out of the Big Ending. Neck breaker by Axel is countered. Clothesline by Big E. Big Ending. Crowd goes pretty crazy. Congrats Big E Langston. You’ve achieved a title that means you still might be on the right path but the WWE still won’t know for a while. Randy Orton is talking to the Shield. Roman Reigns wants Orton to have their back too. More country song. Shot me.

Instead of a cow girl match, we get musical chairs to this horrific song. I FF until the Divas brawl. I’m loving Alicia Fox on Total Divas. I’m glad this segment could help me catch up.

Big Show is taking on Ryback. Big Show punches the body to get control. “Bench presses don’t fight back!” JBL is awesome. He’s doing a good job of giving Ryback’s psyche. Ryback goes for Big Show’s knee to make the match interesting. Ryback tries to wear out Big Show with a head lock. I guess it’s a little more of a choke. DDT by Ryback only gets two. Ryback slaps on a chin lock. Big Show turns it around with a side suplex. Clotheslines by Big Show. Ryback with a spine buster. Only two. Ryback sets up for the Meat Hook. He gets it after some knees to the gut. Ryback goes for Shell Shock. He nails it. Big Show kicks out. “You stupid giant!” Big Show shoves off a front face lock. He WMDs Ryback for the win. Good showing for Ryback. Randy Orton tries to ambush Big Show but he turns it into a spear. No reason to take the belt off Orton. Zack Ryder is talking to someone I’m supposed to know. Heath Slater introduces them. 3MB are the Rhinestone Cowboys now. They’re keeping their act fresh.

Orton puts ice on his ribs. He complains about not having back up from the Shield. If you didn’t see them around ringside when you jumped in, shouldn’t that have been a clue Randy? I thought the baby faces are supposed to the stupid ones. The Miz & Kofi Kingston are going to job to Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger. The Miz gets to take the beat down. Good luck taking the pin Kofi. He does get the hot tag. Cesaro distracts Kofi. Swagger catches him and slams him. Kingston DDTs Swagger. The Miz jumps away from the tag of Kofi. Patriot Lock for the win. Turning heel will do you no good if you don’t freshen up your gimmick.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Kia And Cay at Melissas ParentsSeeing as though I’m taking my hound dog Kia into a specialist to have her heart murmur looked x-rayed on Wednesday, Peter King’s page about putting down his Golden Retriever Bailey really touched me. It also reminded me of Bill Simmons writing a eulogy for his dog the Dooze. The first time I read about having to put down a dog was Marley & Me. I’m starting to wonder if it’s become cliche to write about your dog when that time comes. I don’t want it to come but it’s coming. The heart murmur is not taking my mind away from that time. Enjoy your pets as long as you can. Time to review some wrestling. Let’s roll.

Video Package Count: 2 before we see live action. The usual tribute to the troops then a Big Show package. I didn’t read the spoilers so it’s all new to me. The Authority is away so the mice are going to play. Oh my! Randy Orton takes forever and a day to get to the ring as usual. Of course the way he starts his promo is “I’ll get right to it…” You don’t do anything quickly, Randy. He’s in charge of Raw tonight. Brad Maddox was more exciting in his twenty second promo. Corporate Kane says he’s in charge. Maddox tries to make a match but Kane suggests another opponent. Vickie Guerrero comes out to toss around her weight. So I’ve found something worse than HHH & Steph being on TV, bit players arguing power for three hours of TV. HHH & Steph run a tight ship. Wouldn’t best for business mean appointing someone boss so this doesn’t happen? For some reason, she has Orton take on Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Why is a heel screwing a heel?

Goldust and Orton are in the ring after the break. It’s got to fill you with confidence when the crowd chants “Randy’s Boring”. Not a flattering mock chant. He’s so boring, I didn’t need to type anything of significance before the next commercial. Goldust is taking a beating still. Cody Rhodes gets a hot tag. Orton gets himself counted out. Big Show arrives to attack Orton. Super choke slam off the top of the stairs thru the announce table. That’s got to smart.

Big Show goes out for a pint since Sheamus can’t. Los Matadores & El Torito get to bore me even more. Santino Marella is their team mate.  3MB comes out as the Union Jacks. The crowd is behind them. Mitchell Cool calls him Bulltino because he’s wearing horns. Yuck. Bull Cobra win. Double yuck. Randy Orton yells at Maddox then Vickie. Kane isn’t taking Orton’s shit. It’s official, my boy is the new Christian because he gets a crack at the IC Title.

Damien Sandow is waiting in the ring. Kofi Kingston is his opponent. Sandow showing a mean streak early. I don’t catch much of the match though because I’m talking over Wrestlemania plans. You’re Welcome for the win. I guess the Terminoose is no longer.

Dolph Ziggler comes down first. Curtis Axel comes down second as the champion. Axel gets the upper hand early. Ziggler turns things around with a drop kick. Ziggler’s spill to the outside looked rough. They talk over Axel’s psyche without Paul Heyman. Mitchell said “Billy Gunn” like he was going thru puberty. Super face plant only gets Ziggler a two count. Axel gives Ziggler one move for the win. Fuck Jack Swagger. Give credit to Ziggler for a great match, are you fucking kidding me? Kane has his new arguing partner in Brad Maddox. The Real Americans are taking on John Cena. The Shield is taking on CM Punk & Daniel Bryan. Sounds like we got our hour mark matches.

I didn’t ever realize how bitchy the Bellas entrance was. You can look but not touch? Aren’t you baby faces? Shouldn’t you change their entrance music? Nikki Bella is taking on Tamina. Brie & AJ Lee are at ring side for their respective partners. Tamina uses her strength to smack around Nikki. The later gets to have some quick strike offense. AJ cheats for Tamina. Superfly splash for the win. AJ took out Brie after that. Brie dropkicks AJ then Tamina. We get a stand off then. No one cares.

Video Package Count: 3. The Shield goes in to have an audience with Randy Orton. For some reason, the trainer is still working on him. The Shield doesn’t work for anyone that was supposed to be in charge tonight. So is this match going to involve Fandango or is Summer Rae in action again?

Video Package Count: 4. This time to preview Total Divas. Tyson and Nattie still don’t know how to be a couple. The review will be up sometime tomorrow. Tyson Kidd is Fandango’s opponent. Kidd looks sharp again. Fandango gets the cheap roll up win. The crowd is happy. I don’t really care because I’m over Fandango. I’d rather him get some in ring cred. A cheap win over a guy coming back from an injury isn’t the way to do it.

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