Total Divas – Season 2 – Cabo – She Said (He Edited)

givesugar.com

givesugar.com

Having watched two back to back episodes of Total Diva’s, I sit here typing with a terrible headache. Should I attribute it to having to cram in two Total Diva shows in two days? As much as I’d like to say, yes, I’ll have to say, no, and try to pull my thoughts together to get through this review.

We’ve all been to bachelor / bachelorette parties, but in no way have I been to a swanky bachelorette party in Cabo San Lucas, MX. Wow! This episode focused on Brie’s bachelorette party and a bit about Trinity. We’ll start with Trinity first.

At the end of Red and Gold, we saw Trinity get injured in the ring. Cabo starts off with that same segment. Trinity doing her thing in the ring and then getting kneed in the eye. Trinity finishes the match and wins. Trinity heads straight to the back to the doctor who tells her she needs to go to a specialist. We see some gruesome photos of Trinity’s eye and a supportive and sympathetic Jon. Trinity wears an eye patch but after a few days, she goes back into the doctor who tells her that a bone is broken and there is a lot of fat around her eye, but that it should heal in 2-3 weeks. Trinity is obviously excited as she is in the height of her career and wants that Title belt.

Summer Rae approaches Eva Marie about Cabo. Since I can never understand what Summer Rae says as she can’t seem to open her mouth all the way to enunciate words, I’m not sure if she asked Eva if she was going to Cabo or if she was invited and wanted to know if Eva was going. Either way, Eva tells her that she will have all the fun for Summer as Summer has burned way too many bridges. Eva walks away and hilariously enough, Summer asks a random girl standing there if she is going to Cabo then walks away.

It’s Brie-mode time. Getting off the plane, there is a bar for ‘soda’s to go’ which Nattie, Nikki and Brie take advantage of. (Kevin’s Edit: How dare you forget they were called road sodas! Opie would be disappointed.) Driving up to the rental for the bachelorette party, Nattie starts talking about swimming with dolphins, board games and building a sand castle. I’d have to say, that all sounds fun to me, but alas, the girls say ‘NO”, it’s Briemode and get your drink on. The rental is stunning. So open and beautiful, each Diva has their own room. That is pretty swanky, along with a gorgeous pool that overlooks the ocean. Personal servants bring them all the drinks they want which is pretty awesome. You have a scene of scantily placed bikini’s and some ass slapping, which was weird for me to watch, but I’m sure the guys out there were wiping drool from their faces. (Kevin’s Edit: Other guys will need to speak up. I’m not exactly a big fan looks wise of  these Divas.)

Nattie and Nikki are out in the pool alone and talking about John and how Nattie bets her Divaship on John asking her to marry him. Nikki blurts out that she was married before. This obviously throws Nattie and we find out that at age 20 Nikkie married her high school sweetheart in Vegas with Elvis. They were married 3 years and she said she got an annulment. Brie comes out and gets slightly upset because she is the only one who knew about the marriage and now Nattie knows, and we all know Nattie can’t keep a secret. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone has that friend who can’t keep their yapper shut. Nattie has nothing of interest to tell about herself so she needs to gossip.)

The party continues into the night and we see Eva Marie trying to have a good time, but also looking a bit stressed. We find out that Eva Marie is a recovering Alcoholic and right before she got hired to the WWE she ‘fell off’ the wagon. She tries to hide the fact she isn’t drinking, but it eventually becomes way too much and she ends up leaving the group upset and going home. Ariane tries to stop her but Eva just tells her she doesn’t feel good and is going back to the villa.

The next morning Eva comes clean and tells the girls that she is a recovering alcoholic and she can’t have just 1 drink. The girls support Eva and it becomes an emotional circle of Nattie, Brie, Nikki, Ariane and Eva Marie sharing their emotions and their issues. I actually felt it was quite touching and definitely took away from the Brie-mode. It was a slight buzz kill, but it seemed like the girls didn’t mind. (Kevin’s Edit: I have no idea why she struggled with telling them especially in a setting you’re supposed to get hammered in.) I did have to laugh though when Nikki told Eva that the ones you hate the most are the ones that become your best friends, I don’t think so, but whatever, she’s a Diva.

We end the Brie-mode with swimming with the dolphins. Nattie got what she wanted and was very happy. I actually thought that seemed like a cool idea. (Kevin’s Edit: I would be down for swimming with dolphins. It’d be way more fun to be in a shark cage though.)

At the end of the episode, Nikki decides to tell her family that she was married before. Her father is OK with it. I found it odd he was there as I thought they didn’t like their dad? (Kevin’s Edit: He was there? Shows you how much I was paying attention. They didn’t like him though.) And her mom was a bit surprised after how close they are that Nikki didn’t confide in her. Nikki’s brother went off though. He said he was really pissed and stormed off. I didn’t understand his anger as he isn’t the one who was married and divorced and he also should be supportive and not a child. That entire scene was stupid. Nikki leaves as she feels unwanted in her brother’s home and is now worried what John will say when she tells him. (Kevin’s Edit: Are we sure the brother isn’t gay after that reaction?)

We see in the preview that it’s time for Brie to get married, it’s Wrestlemania, and it concludes with Nikki’s brother telling John that Nikki was married before. Oh boy, part 1 of 2 of the season finale. Maybe I’ll have to write one review for the season finale as I find TV is getting a bit more crazy with making a 2 part season finale, what happened to the cliffhangers from back in the day! (Kevin’s Edit: I promised on big reviews so let’s just do it that way.) – M & (Kevin)

Total Divas – Season 2 – Episode 7 – She Said (He Edited)

Steve Thoms - Field of Red and Gold - nonprints.com

Steve Thoms – Field of Red and Gold – nonprints.com

I have to say, this episode actually had some character to it and felt like some of the show wasn’t scripted. But alas, I’m sure I’m wrong about that. I have found it interesting that they pick and choose the shows characters on who is going to be on each week. Before when the show first started, everyone was on the show at the same time with special brunches and lunches, but now it’s like they are deciding who is going to have the bigger story line or most on camera time, why would they not though since it is a WWE production and half the time wrestlers go missing for weeks and then return all of a sudden. (Kevin’s Edit: I can’t say I had thought about the shift in focus but she’s right on both points. It happens on the regular roster too. Why not make Total Divas the same way?)

Anyway, this past episode focused on Nattie, Brie, Nikki, Summer Rae, Eva Marie and Ariane. Hmm, who should I start with first? It’s all a train wreck, so I’ll start with the most annoying in this episode which was Ariane. Girl Bye! Is all I want to say to this horrendous story line. So Ariane has a single coming out called Bye Bye. She wants free publicity so her and her man, Vincent drive to a paparazzi area to get photographed. After leaving the dog in the car and remembering a short time later that the tiny dog was in the car, they were on their way for free publicity. But alas, Kim Kardashian ruined the free publicity by being in a restaurant near by. Ariane pulls out the ‘friend’ card and behind Vincent’s back, calls Ray J. He is a singer and had a terrible dating show on VH1 at some point. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m trying to figure out if my woman doesn’t know about the Ray J and Kardashian sex tapes or not. I mean, I wouldn’t know him except for that so she gave me more information than I had.) Ariane and Ray J go to work out so the paparazzi can take lots of pictures. This scene was terrible as they were putting them in all kinds of awkward positions pretending to ‘wrestle’ in the gym and having an MMA trainer. Can the WWE think of anything more stupid? So the pictures get posted, they ask about her and Ray J, but he’s just a friend of the family, and Vincent gets all pissed off. But alas, at the end of every segment, they are OK after Ariane apologizes at her singles party for Bye Bye. (Kevin’s Edit: I agree with her analysis. Ariane is the most unlikeable character on this show. She does as little as possible and expects attention for nothing. There’s a reason they didn’t play the song much during the show.)

I in no way would have ever thought Nattie was a talented painter. Ha! Nattie and TJ killed me this episode. Nattie painted a picture of John and Nikki. She is straddling John in the painting. When Nikki takes the painting out of the box with Brie on the phone, she says “I’m wearing a diaper and I have a claw for a hand”. Nikki decides to hide the painting but when Nattie comes over to visit, Brie informs Nikki she has to put it out on display. Nikki takes it out of the closet and puts it out for her. Nattie is thrilled the painting is out and how pretty the frame matches their interior of the home. I was just laughing. (Kevin’s Edit: It was strange to me that the frame of the picture did fit in with the decor Nikki put it near. I don’t like gold unless it’s the yellow (Pirates/Steelers) or Vegas (Pens) variety.) So Nattie decides she wants to do something just as personal for Brie and Daniel’s wedding present and hand deliver it. So we get a glimpse of Nattie working on Brie and Daniel’s wedding portrait with dog included. TJ comes into the room and without saying it, says he doesn’t want anything to do with the painting, it’s all Nattie. She is so excited about the painting and fixes Daniel’s nose, giving it more texture. (Kevin’s Edit: Tyson Kidd showed personality for the first time ever.)

TJ makes Nattie carry the painting to the car as he again reiterates, he wants nothing to do with the painting. Predictable, their full sized has been changed to an economy car. (Kevin’s Edit: I had this happen recently or else I’d scream set up. I had a full size become a compact and a compact become a full size. Too bad we had the compact with four people.) The painting obviously doesn’t fit. Nattie decides that the stadium isn’t far, so they can just tie it to the roof with her panty hose, work pants and tape. Ha, ha, ha. And yes, as predicted, the painting flies off the car into traffic. They tie it again to the car and take off. Nattie approaches Daniel and Brie and takes the painting out of the box. Brie and Daniel have no idea what to say and Nattie continues to rave about the imported frame while TJ just stands there. When Nattie leaves, Daniel and Brie both agree to not hang the painting. Daniel comments that his nose looks like a male body part. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m not as prim and proper as her. They look like balls, if you like to manscape.) Brie doesn’t look anything like Brie. Poor Nattie. You can tell stuff like that takes a lot of time, but I know, I would never paint something like that and give it to someone. I know they say that it’s the personal factor that counts, but sometimes you just need to give a gift card instead. (Kevin’s Edit: She’s not even a good painter. Nattie, take some lessons or stop.)

Our final Divas are Eva Marie and Summer Rae. So the WWE wants to give Eva and Summer a chance to be a tag team and it is christened Red and Gold. They love it and decide to work out together to try out moves and a routine. Eva does comment that she got pulled out of NXT faster and that Summer has a lot more experience. This is noted when they begin working on their routine and Summer gets fed up because Eva acts like she has no idea what she is doing. I just wonder if she really has no clue or if it’s another ploy by the WWE to get us to think it’s a good story line. (Kevin’s Edit: Eva is a terrible wrestler. She was booked with a “We can get free advertising from Maxim” rocket attached to her back. The smart plan would have been to make her a valet but that’s just for Lana.) Eva looked like she was trying to not know, but it all just seemed a bit awkward. Summer Rae gets pissed and Eva says she just doesn’t have much time, which throws Summer into saying she is more busy than Eva. So the night of the match comes and Summer runs to Mark and tells him that she doesn’t think Eva is ready so he adds a 3rd into the tag team match. In the interim, Brie has told Eva to watch out for Summer because it’s all about Summer and stepping on those to get to the top. Touche! (Kevin’s Edit: Summer has been unlikeable until this moment. You shouldn’t want to team with someone who is that bad. Why the WWE thought this idea was a good one will remain either a mystery or a way to create this storyline for the show.)

The match comes and they have the big girl that looks like a man with them, I think Tamina? Sorry, can’t remember her name. (Kevin’s Edit: You’ve heard it from me enough. Now we just need to get the Snuka part in there.) And Summer only tags in Tamina and never Eva. Eva has her hand out there trying to get into the match and Summer never lets her in. The match finally ends with Nikki, Nattie and Brie winning. After the match Brie approaches Summer and she tells Brie that Eva just isn’t good enough and doesn’t want to look bad. Brie runs and tells Eva and Tamina tells Eva that she has to stick up for herself and not let Summer run all over her. Eva Marie confronts Summer and Eva informs Summer it’s not the Summer Rae show and she is no longer in her corner and Summer Rae will now be 100% alone. (Kevin’s Edit: This part is where I start calling Bravo Sierra. Six women went to the ring without going over what was going to happen in the match? Try to sell me a different lie.)

At the conclusion of this episode we see Trinity’s injury in the ring and her being escorted out by the doctor with all the Diva’s standing there wanting to know what has happened.

So, you know what the next write up will be about. Trinity. Will it be good? Will Nattie decide to make a painting for Trinity at the height of her career? Will Summer Rae be able to make it on her own, or will she turn to Fandango for comfort? I’m sure none of this will happen as it will be another scripted show and a lot more brain cells dying. Thank goodness I saw a Season Finale for Diva’s the other night. But with my luck, I’ll still be reviewing these shows when the next season starts. HA! – M & (Kevin)

#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 4

hawaii-beach-homesoahu

The April 20th episode was definitely an episode I didn’t think I’d witness. I actually felt like it was a bit more heartwarming than any other episode that they have filmed, though, it could be because Summer Rae wasn’t in the show at all which totally helps and there wasn’t any drama at all. Granted, there were still some completely ridiculous scenes which involved Nattie and TJ, but other than that, I actually felt for the first time the Diva’s really are normal people with everyday issues, in which you can semi-relate to on a woman’s level, so I’m sure any guy watching the episode was like, this was a stupid chick show since there wasn’t much boobs and skankiness showing up. (Kevin’s Edit: Just imagine me moving my head up and down.)

We’ll begin with Nattie and TJ as it’s the most ridiculous part of the show. So Ariane and Nikki find out that Nattie doesn’t know what Doggie Style is. Nattie get’s pretty flustered at trying to get around it but in the end, Ariane calls her sex therapist to see if she can help for Nattie and TJ. (Kevin’s Edit: I had forgotten about Ariane’s repression since she’s been hard to find this season outside of the Eva Marie pics.) Nattie says she is to busy to go see her, so she comes to their house. Upon questions about their sex life, she asks how they first got together, Nattie doesn’t seem to remember but TJ remembers the moments, really? (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t remember when I first said “I love you” to the lady. No way he remembers that.) So the sex therapist says they need to ‘sex up’ the house. She tells them different role playing to do in the different areas of the house and awkwardly suggests they leave the front door open to have sex in their entry way. (Kevin’s Edit: I suggested it in more open places.) Nattie of course declines this idea. Nattie does think this could work as Ariane and Vincent do seem to be happier since seeing the therapist. So, as we get to see in the ‘black and white footage’, Nattie has TJ be a burglar and Nattie dresses as a skanky school girl and she has TJ break into the house through an open window. I laughed out loud at this one, good gravy!(Kevin’s Edit: It was killing me she used an old outfit from a WWE shoot.)

Eva Marie hasn’t been feeling well. I feel like this story line pops up when they aren’t sure what to put into the show. Well, this time, Eva Marie’s husband, insert name I forget here (Kevin’s Edit: You think I remember this tool bag’s name?), rushes her to the hospital as she says her stomach is huge and she looks about 6 months pregnant and is peeing blood. I have to say, that is not a good sign. The doctor says she has a cyst that ruptured. I am going to wonder about this as I’ve had numerous cysts and they rupture when you have your period, they don’t normally make you pee blood. The swelling in her stomach is extra fluid, and then on a private call from the doctor (HIPPA restricted) we find out that Eva Marie has an abnormal uterus and may never be able to have kids. Eva freaks out thinking her husband is going to go nuts cause he wants lots of kids. She finally tells him and breaks down. I actually have to give the schmuck credit in this episode for being very understanding. (Kevin’s Edit: I know I called him a tool above but he didn’t make the switch to non-meat head until helping her out as much as he did.) The worst thing a woman can be told is that she won’t be able to have kids, if she wants them. I don’t see Eva Marie as a ‘mom’ but who knows down the line. So Eva’s husband calls her Mom and her mom is really ‘frosty’ on the phone throwing it back in Eva’s face that she deserted her family to be with her husband, but then her mom says they will fly out. So her parents come, this time they don’t hide his stuff, and the parents and her husband find a truce and the dad and schmuck embrace, which is totally camera acted. (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE knows when to end feuds people don’t give a care about.) It’s hard to say what is real and what is fiction in this story line, but I felt most of it was really true. Would I want to share that on TV? No way! But I guess some people don’t mind airing their laundry for a buck.

Trinity and Jon decide it’s time to get married. They have been together for 5 years and engaged for 2. Trinity really wants Jon’s dad to be there, so at Old School Raw, they approach Rikishi after his match and they tell him that they are getting married in Maui in a few days and want him to be there. After a weird silence, he starts to get emotional and blames it on the match and then says he is so happy and will be there. This makes Trinity very happy as she wants the entire family on both sides there. They rent this gorgeous place on the beach where they will stay and have the ceremony. The night before the wedding Jon’s dad is still not there. Trinity starts asking if she’s the reason he’s not coming. Jon is very quiet and then finally tells her ‘no’ it’s because he got another gig and decided to do that instead. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m just throwing this out there because I haven’t heard an official statement from Rikishi but when you don’t attend your son’s wedding because he’s marrying a black woman, it means your a racist. White people aren’t the only ones who can be racist.) Ouch! There was talk of if he wasn’t coming because Trinity is not Samoan, but Jon says that is not the case. Jey is there with them and this is the 1st time I’ve ever heard him talk but he has some very kind and encouraging words for Jon and Trinity which is very sweet. The wedding day comes, no Rikishi, Trinity’s dad cries and Trinity looks gorgeous. Jon and Trinity are both moved by the ceremony (which I don’t think is something you can just fake) and they are now married. As they walked down the aisle as man and wife the chant of I say Uce you say O going on which was silly but fun.(Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t stop laughing that of all people the Usos could be close to, it was Drew McIntyre who I think started the chant. The guy is even a tool off camera. The Usos need to pick friends that are further up the WWE food chain now that they won the tag titles.)

In the end, the show was pretty good, probably one of the better episodes I’ve seen since this show aired, but I’m sure it definitely won’t last long as I’m sure Summer Rae is getting ready for a come back at some point to add drama and nauseating skankiness to the show. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Season 2 – Episodes 1 & 2

From mbpopart.com

From mbpopart.com

Tonight I have witnessed a train wreck. I felt so dirty, I had to take a shower when the show was over. I’m pretty sure I no longer have a working brain due to all the stupidity that arose from the episode. Due to too much on the dvr, we have decided to do She said He edited at different times to get different reactions. When I told my boyfriend all my brain cells died with this episode he laughed and said it would all be OK. (Kevin’s Edit: I laughed because you were being funny. I hope it translates into the article.) He has yet to watch the episode, so after he does he will understand my disbelief that they actually air this crap and that 4 million people actually take the time to watch it. (Kevin’s Edit: I gave her bad math. It was only 1.39 million people that watched it. I’m sure she won’t feel much better about my error.)

I can only write about the current episode that I watched as I am 3 weeks behind. But will quickly recap in each article. JoJo is gone and skanky Summer Rae is now on the show. I’m not sure who is worse. Summer Rae or Eva Marie. It’s like watching a bad porno with that fake blond hair and god awful red dye job. It was made obvious in the 1st few episodes that no one was going to like Summer Rae and she was placed on the show to make more drama for everyone, so I’ll save her for last. (Kevin’s Edit: More drama = more eyes.)

We’ll start with Eva Marie since the season ended with her and she was getting married, maybe, to her loser boyfriend. Well, no surprise here, but she did and did not inform her family. Her family came for a visit and she moved her husband out so there would be no trace of him. Huh, interesting way to start a marriage. Well, the family figured it out, they were pissed, but yet, who is calling the kettle black here since her brothers are living with women and are not married. So that just kinda ended. (Kevin’s Edit: I found her calling out her brothers hilarious. That subject did get dropped awfully quick.) Then photos popped up from back in the day and Eva Marie said those were a mistake and should have never been done. Creepy Fandango made a weird comment to her that made my skin crawl. In this past episode, Eva Marie and Summer Rae have become besties and are traveling separate from everyone on the bus because of the photo incident and because no one likes Summer Rae. She was the one that told Eva Marie about the photos. Even though Eva Marie thinks Summer Rae stepped over the line in episode 2 with Brie, they will still probably continue being besties for at least a while.

Nikki and John Cena got back together on the pier. It wasn’t as cheesy as the very first episode when they tried to reenact a scene from The Notebook, but who walks down a pier in high heeled shoes, a skin tight red dress with boobs popping out and a fur? Oh, Nikki Bella, that’s right. So John said he made mistakes and that he wants to try a lot harder. Nikki forgave him and all is well with the world. So far. Nikki did lose a tooth in an episode and she thought she looked hideous so refused to ride in the bus with John and tried to avoid him. Not the best decision when your relationship is on the line. In this past episode Nikki tried to be the support for Brie as Summer Rae made a play for Daniel Bryan, Brie’s then fiance. (Kevin’s Edit: She just asked him a really weird question about getting his approval. She didn’t seem to be coming on to Bryan to me. I do want to know who she slept with.)

Speaking of Brie, she thought it would be a great idea to rent a bus, like Nikki and John have and have everyone ride with them to split the cost. Bryan was not enthused with this idea as he is an environmentalist and those busses take up a LOT of gas and energy. But Brie got her wish and TJ/Nattie, Jon Uso/Trinity, Summer Rae, Eva Marie and Ariane all rode on the bus with Brie and Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: She got her wish because those other people were brought onto the bus to make it more “Green”.) Bryan made a few ‘house’ rules, no sex on the bus and no pooping on the bus. Well, both of these rules were broken as Nattie pooped on the bus and John Uso/Trinity almost got it on on the bus, it was broken up by Brie. Brie, the most sensible I think out of the group, ends up blowing her top this time around when Bryan tells her that Summer Rae sought him out and told him that she cares what he thinks, then made a flirtatious movement touching him. Because Nikki told her what Summer Rae did with John and some of the other male wrestlers, (hearsay of inappropriate comments), Brie went nuts and hunted down Summer Rae. Brie pretty much told her to never pull someone’s man aside alone and told her to stay away from Bryan. Summer Rae accused Brie of being insecure in her relationship, which caused Brie to go nuts and told Summer Rae pretty much that she is a skanky ho. Touche! All the while Bryan, Eva Marie and Nikki listening. Eva Marie agreed that Summer Rae crossed a line. Bryan told Brie that she is very protective of her man. (Kevin’s Edit: It’s pretty bad when Eva Marie is the voice of reason.)

You don’t have much going on with Ariane in the past few episodes. She was the one that found the photos of Eva Marie and showed them to everyone. She did try to apologize but Eva Marie has yet to accept her apology. I do think Ariane has a point, Eva Marie is very good at making it all about her and how fabulous she is getting the covers on magazine and getting a Mattel doll so early in her career. Ariane’s beef is that she got a cover too but no one seems to care. (Kevin’s Edit: Eva Marie does seem like a spot light hog but Ariane is the other drama queen who got trumped by Summer Rae. I’m surprised every guy hasn’t looked for skanky photos of (insert new Diva here) because there’s a 90% chance they exist.)

We find out that John Uso has a huge sex drive in this episode and can’t seem to keep it in his pants for 4 days while traveling on the bus. Trinity is OK with adhering to the rules, so she obviously feels bad when the get caught in the act by Brie on the bus.

Nattie has serious issues with Summer Rae. Whether it’s because they are both blonds, I’m not sure, but Nattie seems to despise her. In this episode, Nattie does try to take the high road and tell Summer Rae that she needs to be more respectful to the Diva’s and that she is making a display of all her skankiness. When the new Mattel dolls are out Nattie is thrilled and Summer Rae walks up and tells her that they did a good job at photoshopping her and that she used to look pretty and thin. This obviously upset Nattie who told Summer she needs to cool it. (Kevin’s Edit: Summer Rae is an excellent shit stirrer. I have no idea if all of these actions have led to her not being on TV now.) I think the best part of this past episode is when Nattie goes into the bathroom on the bus and starts screaming. First TJ goes in to the smallest bathroom in the world and comes out, then she calls for Brie. Come to find out, Nattie was putting Icy Hot on her ‘back’ when she got some Icy Hot in her butt and in hoo haa when she went to the bathroom. Where exactly she was putting the icy hot is still in question as she first said back then changed it to inner thigh. Hmmm. Either way, this is when we find out she pooped on the bus and got Icy Hot in her butt. Ha ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: I would imagine that Icy Hot burns similar to when I pooped out Scorpion Peppers.)

I leave the most skanky and the newbie for the end. Summer Rae. Man is she ugly. I thought Eva Marie was unattractive, but I think she has competition with Summer Rae. Summer Rae is a hateful woman who thinks she is better than everyone else. Being Fandango’s dance partner, yet being from NXT, she is now considered a Diva. Well, I see why Layla is now Fandango’s partner as in this past episode Fandango told Summer Rae, he didn’t need drama for his career, and this is exactly what she is doing, stirring drama. (Kevin’s Edit: I obviously don’t read ahead while making these comments. Summer Rae is a butter face but those legs make up for it.)

Summer Rae is the one that told Eva Marie that Ariane had the photos of her. Summer Rae is telling everyone that if Nattie spent more time on her wrestling and less time talking gossip then she may have won the Diva’s championship more than once in her Diva career. (Kevin’s Edit: I agree with Summer that Nattie is her own worst enemy. Just keep mentioning that you’re a Hart and eventually they’ll give me a long title reign, right? Maybe Nattie should work on the promo skills.) Summer Rae believes that she is gorgeous and is upset with her wardrobe and wants to be even sluttier than what she wears with Fandango and Summer Rae made a play at Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: Have you ever seen a dance competition? All the ladies are dressed slutty.)

So at the end of this train wreck of an episode, Summer Rae hunts down Nattie’s house, goes to the door uninvited and proceeds to tell Nattie that she needs to spend less time gossiping and more time focused on her career. She pretty much tells Nattie that she is an old, fat, unattractive Diva that isn’t worth anyone’s time. Nattie tells Summer Rae she is a ho. Summer Rae slaps her across the face. Nattie pushes her off her property and tells her to NEVER step foot on her property again.

After watching this episode, I needed a sedative. This episode was filled with so much cattiness and egos that I was just dumbfounded that I watched 42 minutes of stupidity. I honestly think that there were more brain cells saved watching Jersey Shore than watching Total Divas, at least this time around. I explained to my boyfriend that it was a cruel punishment for me to watch this show as I could have spent the 42 minutes doing something productive, but he informed me that he was sure I didn’t lose the brain cells that I thought I did and since I was still mobile and mumbling about a train wreck that I would be fine. (Kevin’s Edit: I lose brain cells when I’m researching for my Sippy Time Beer articles, not this show.)

Here’s to 1 Diva Show and article down and 2 more to go to get back on track. I’ve seen the previews for the next episode and no shocker, another train wreck is on the way. Will the WWE one day actually have good writing for the Diva show or will it always be this horrible, guess I’ll just have to tune in and lose a few more brain cells to see.– M (& Kevin)

Stunt Granny Audio #246

Jerry Threatening Tom

Jeremy & Kevin are back for a second straight day with their witticisms. They start by talking about their childhood and playing “Smear The Queer”. Does making the name rhyme make it better? Which bully thought up this game so that he could pick on the people they wanted to? What happened to Kevin’s younger brother while playing said game? The guys move along to an injury in the WWE, that of Naomi. How soon will Aksana get back on TV? Did the WWE take down Naomi’s picture of her injured eye? Wouldn’t that picture work as a perfect example of “Don’t do this at home” for the children that watch? Would Naomi be better off going with her real name of Trinity? Will we find out why the Bellas have been off TV in the next season of Total Divas? Jeremy & Kevin move onto Brodus Clay because of his connection to Naomi. Did Jeremy notice that he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble? Has he gotten the number of chances that Alberto Del Rio has had to shine? Speaking of Del Rio, who is going to miss him if he doesn’t renew his contract? Did he get a push because he is an older man? Does age factor into backstage politics? Who else on the roster has an age that surprised Jeremy & Kevin? Will there ever be a WWE Superstar who makes an impact at a young age like Bryce Harper has done in Major League Baseball? Does Brock Lesnar count? Maybe Randy Orton? Who will benefit most from Del Rio leaving if he does leave after this contract expires? Find out the answers to these questions and more when you click on the link below.

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 13

It's never too late to post something on Stunt Granny.

It’s never too late to post something on Stunt Granny.

My apologies for not staying on track with the weekly Diva column. This write up is from the December 8 episode, which we quickly watched last night. Thankfully, I am only 1 episode behind and was told last night, the Diva’s are off till March, WOOP! So, I’ll have time to recoup some brain cells before the Diva’s return. Yea! (Kevin’s Edit: She’ll kill those recouped brain cells with cider beers.)

This weeks episode had some awkward moments in it. One that sticks out the most is  the one with Nattie and Eva Marie. Eva Marie told Nattie what a great outfit she had on (jeans and a t-shirt, really?) and Nattie said she was doing a photo shoot and then the scene just kind of ended, so either someone did a bad edit job, or the scene was a filler to get Eva Marie into more than just 2 scenes. I have to say, maybe next time just cut the scene, it wasn’t worth the minute. (Kevin’s Edit: This scene is an example of how boring Jojo is. They couldn’t make up a scene for her to be more than a wall flower.)

Nattie’s cat Gizmo passed away in this week’s episode and you see how Nattie and TJ react, awkward moment number 2. Are these two really married in real life because they don’t talk like two people in love at all. (Kevin’s Edit: You’re stealing my material lady.) They both seem so standoffish it’s uncomfortable to watch. Gizmo had a stroke and Nattie and TJ had to put Gizmo to sleep. I think the highlight of this episode is how Nattie is so upset about Gizmo dying but when she meets the girls for lunch she says ‘ So I’ll just be brief, Gizmo’s dead’…really? I’d hate to see her reaction if TJ bit the dust. ‘ So, I’ll just brief, TJ’s dead, I’ll have a salad with the dressing on the side please’. Ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: I was doubled over in laughter reading those lines. Glad she cracked herself up too. It was really weird how blunt Nattie was.) Even Nattie’s support that TJ got back into wrestling she was like, ‘good job’. I was just like, she showed more emotion putting Gizmo to sleep than her husband getting back in the ring after a serious knee injury. (Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t sum up all of their awkwardness better.)

Brie and Nicole had their issues in this episode. Brie believes Nicole is more into playing house with John Cena than getting back into The Bella Twins. Brie has been solo for 5 months since Nicole has been healing and getting lots of recognition to a point where the producers approached Nicole about Brie going solo since she is still healing; and having Brie due the singles match for the Diva title and not allowing Eva Marie or Nicole to go out there, was a hit to Nicole. But in the end, after all the bickering, the sisters made up. (Kevin’s Edit: I thought it was cool to see Brie & Daniel Bryan working out together. I always pay attention to see if there’s something in them that I could add into my work out. Nothing new to what they were doing. Bryan saying that Cena would laugh at the weights he used was funny and self deprecating.)

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@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 12

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

There have been 9 episodes of Total Diva’s that I have written about and today’s article reaches the double digits. (Kevin’s Edit: Look at the banner lady. You’ve been in the double digits.) Last night I asked Kevin if we could stop watching Total Divas and 5 minutes into the show I realized why. The show lacks on drama and substance. I think watching two kittens play with a ball of string for 45 minutes would be more entertaining than what I had to sit through last night. The entire episode is now scripted, has boring story lines, and I think I’d rather watch paint dry.

When I first started writing these articles, blogs, whatever you want to call them, I thought the Total Divas show was going to show the life of a WWE Diva and their impact in a man’s field. Where showing your skills and working hard to get TV time would help all of us understand the difficulties in making it in the WWE Diva world. What I’ve witnessed these past 10 episodes is that these ladies live a very boring life, so the WWE has to script every scene and create instability within the Diva relationships just to give us a show to watch every week. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone knew the WWE would pump it up but it all seems so set up to create “drama” that isn’t dramatic.) Jojo has become non-existent on the show, Nattie only talks about hoochie Eva Marie and do I need to hear another comment out of Eva Marie on how hot she is? With this being said, here is my next review on episode 10 of Total Diva’s.

We begin the episode with Eva Marie being scanned. I didn’t understand at first why she was being scanned until I saw the figure of Diva Nattie and then understood. Why in the hell are they making an Eva Marie action figure? Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE thinks they have a heel in the making. Unfortunately, she’s unlikable and untalented. Unless you count hotness as talent.) Nattie seemed particularly taken aback by it as well. While Eva Marie is being scanned she said “Let’s make my boobs bigger so I sell more action figures and boost sales.” Of course the only man in the room piped up and said that was a good idea. Once again, Nattie calls Eva Marie a hoochie, we all know that she is, thanks Nattie for reminding us. This is where I knew the show was going to tank and asked if we could just delete it and I could make up my own story line for the blog, but Kevin informed me, that we should just watch the show. So onward! (Kevin’s Edit: The sarcasm about Nattie already makes my choice correct.)

We next have Ariane. She thinks it’s brilliant to get her tool of a boyfriend, or is it her fiance now? who knows, an appointment with a WWE trainer so they could be WWE wrestlers together. What part of this sounds staged? huh. Vincent agrees and goes to the training ring where he finds out that it’s freakin’ hard to be a wrestler and after 1  training day is exhausted and unable to even finish the routine guy is having him do. All the while Ariane is telling Vincent he’s doing good, but on the back camera says she made a mistake for this, really? Do you think so? So on day 2 Vincent once again is too exhausted to go on. Because even though he’s a big dude, it’s cardio man, it’s hard when you aren’t in that kind of shape, and the trainer tells him, he’s not WWE material. (Kevin’s Edit: I remember running Warrior Dash last year. It was hilarious to see these giant bulked up guys trying to run. They had no cardio despite all of the muscles. Vincent is the same way.) I don’t know if those are tears of joy or tears of sadness, but Vincent breaks down. Luckily, he has a backup plan to be a Hooka entrepreneur and open his own shop. Good for you Vincent and thanks WWE for a nice scripted segment for Ariane and Vincent.

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@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 11

jealousyI was informed last night that Total Diva’s has signed on for another season with E!. Does E! have any idea what they are currently airing on their station? Though, with the Kardashians having 3 different shows on the channel at any given time, maybe they don’t care what they are actually airing. As this is the time of year for giving thanks, I’d like to thank the WWE for giving us another episode of staged conversations, whips, vibrators, sex therapy and how many times Trinity and Jon have sex before Jon Uso turns into a bear. All I can think right now is, how can I possibly still be watching this disaster for 45 minutes a week.

We begin this week once again Eva Marie. She sees TJ in the ring and asks him if he will help show her some moves as she ‘idolizes’ Nattie and wants to be a great wrestler like her. Nattie sees them wrestling and gets jealous. I love how she has so much distaste for Eva Marie, she takes every chance she gets to comment about her skanky appearance. When Nattie finds out that TJ will be helping Eva Marie the next day in the practice ring, she get’s even more heated when she sees TJ’s head in Eva Marie’s breasts. Nattie says she’s not wearing a bra and says she see’s the way Eva Marie is looking at him, she goes to get Fandango to practice her moves. Nattie removes her little sports jacket and reveals just a sports top showing bare belly while Fandango takes his shirt off. After lots of quibbling back and forth and Fandango asking ‘what is going on!’, TJ leaves, Eva Marie says Nattie is Coo Coo and Nattie huffs out still jealous of Eva Marie and TJ since Nattie is the only one TJ has ever trained with (woman wise) and I guess is worried about her marriage? I don’t see how as he isn’t that attractive and she’s butch like a man, but whatever. By the end of the episode TJ tells her that she’s prettier than Eva Marie. (Kevin’s Edit: This segment was so staged. My favorite part was Norman Smiley as one of the trainers. I’m pretty sure I had read that he was there before but I had forgotten. It made the episode for me. Any woman that doesn’t look like a man would be an upgrade for TJ but Eva Marie wouldn’t stoop that low. I’m thinking she’s going for top of the roster material.)

Nikki has some decisions to make about moving in with John Cena. After John gave her the agreement for her to sign to live with him, she drove off (in our cliffhanger). We begin this episode where she pulls off to the side of the road and calls Brie. Brie was not helpful in this staged phone call and says what kind of relationship is this if John has her sign a ‘roommate’ agreement. Bryan has never asked Brie to sign one because they have an understanding and open relationship (well, I don’t think Bryan has a massive house and expensive cars as he drives around in a Prius). Nikki checks into a hotel until she can figure things out. After a few days and talking to her mom on the phone, she calls John and leaves a message. I don’t know why it took John so long to call her back (another WWE insert staged phone call here) and they have agreed to meet for dinner. Nikki tells John he’s selfish and he should have told her before she moved in that he wanted her to sign this agreement. Honestly, I can’t remember if she signed it or not, but she kept saying if she didn’t sign it, where would their relationship be? (KE: I think she packed in more sarcasm in that paragraph than I could have.)

We see a very selfish side of Brie this week as Bryan is doing massive amounts of publicity for being WWE champion and Brie doesn’t like it, and neither does Josie, their dog. I do see how Brie could be upset as when they order lunch (salads) he walks away to do a phone interview. I’m sure it could have waited, but I’m also sure the WWE wanted to create a little friction between the two since they are just so darn cute! After Brie has a conversation with Nikki, she apologizes to Bryan and they go back to being the cute couple. (KE: French bulldogs are hilarious.)

Jojo is no where to be seen. Though I was terribly surprised when she wrestled in Raw on Monday night and looked better than Eva Marie. (KE: You should not be surprised that Jojo was the better wrestler. Eva is good for nothing aside from looking hot and skanky.)

Trinity and John, not really in it this week. Trinity’s only conversation this week that I can remember was with Ariane when she says no wonder she’s grumpy all the time. There is no sex between Ariane and Vincent, yet Trinity tells Ariane that Jon’s gotta have it every two days or he becomes a bear! (KE: Good to know I have something in common with Jon Uso.)

Which leads me to Ariane. We find out in this episode that she does not have endometriosis. Which is a very painful issue women can have. She makes her way to the gynecologist who does a routine exam, where I have to laugh when she says she didn’t know she was having a full exam so didn’t shave. Can’t believe the camera caught that and who wouldn’t think they’d have a full exam if they are in so much pain. Good Gravy.  So the gynecologist does the exam and says everything seems well and then does an ultrasound where everything is ok, no issues, so the why is sex so painful and cramps so painful? (KE: I was laughing that I seemed to be told more about a gynecologist from my girlfriends, ex-wife and the current lady than Ariane knew.) Well, cramps can be painful due to the lifestyle she has as a Diva. Stress, exercise, diet, all cause bad cramps, so that’s a no brainer, sex, well that leads us to the sex therapist that Ariane and Vincent go to. He does not look pleased. Apparently, Ariana doesn’t like to think outside the box and has decided that she can do without sex. Seriously? So, the sex therapist tells her she needs to start experimenting, role playing, toys, vibrators, videos, etc. Vincent looks very happy at this suggestion. The next time we see Vincent he’s coming home with bags and said he went shopping. Well, yes, he did, to the Adult store. After he pulls out two bottles of wine, he pulls out whips, vibrators, books, gels and he looks very happy, I’m pretty sure he pulled at this huge vibrator and said ‘say hello to my little friend’ which was hilarious. So we end this episode with Ariane and Vincent yelling ‘yes yes yes’…which again is another WWE scripted scene. (KE: Vincent is still a gigantic tool but he’s big dumb ass has grown on me the last couple of weeks.)

What can I say to sum up this episode? Not much because looking ahead at the preview for next week, it doesn’t look any more enticing that this past episode. So as Thanksgiving moves closer, and I give thanks that this episode is over, I’m also thankful for Nattie’s pokes at Eva Marie, the hilariousness of Ariane at the gynecologist, and Bryan saying he is going to give Josie, the dog, a romantic butt scratch, but I’m not thankful for Nikki’s annoying baby voice and her childish bimboish mind. Happy Thanksgiving. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 10

Lilian Garcia Queen

Eva Marie made Lilian Garcia look brilliant.

This past Total Diva episode does not get an A for effort. Not that I expect much from these episodes, but I did feel like it dragged on and there could have been more of something, anything. Yet, we are left with an episode that focuses on how disgusting a toe fungus is, how excruciatingly annoying Eva Marie is, and Alicia Fox once again stealing the scene with a one liner. Oh where to begin….

I guess I’ll begin with, why is Jojo even a Diva when she gets no air time at all? She once again was in a tiny blurb at the beginning of the show and then just disappeared. (Kevin’s Edit: I have no idea why the WWE hired her. She’s young but it’s not like she’s a baseball player who will develop their talents in the minors. No, bigger boobs won’t help her that much.) We have Trinity, Natalia, Ariane, Eva Marie and Jojo standing around and Natalya makes the comment how she can’t wait for the match with Ariane and Trinity says to make sure she wears a diaper, as we all are reminded how in last week’s episode Natalya peed herself after Trinity got her in the gut.

Eva Marie gets a chance to be a ring announcer in the upcoming Monday Night Raw. She is excited for the opportunity until she realizes that she isn’t able to have index cards or cheat. She has to memorize everything about every wrestler to introduce them. She obviously doesn’t want to mess up after the whole fiasco about lying that she knew how to dance the Tango. So we get the entire episode of her whining about how she can’t use index cards. (Doesn’t she know that Cheaters always win?) (KE: Hey, the parentheses are my gimmick lady.) Is she really that stupid? Oh wait, yes. She finds Alicia Fox in the hallway and is excited to tell her that she is going to be introducing at Raw. Alicia informs her she better get it right, she messed up once and was almost fired! Oh, that Alicia. (KE: A big reason I love Alicia. She loves to see people squirm without being bitchy.) When the time comes for her to go on stage, she introduces the Usos correctly along with Justin Gabriel but unfortunately doesn’t introduce Jinder Mahal in the 3MB. The Diva girls watch as she makes the mistake and comment on how screechy her voice is and how no one should have to listen to that. (KE: She had no idea how to use a microphone. Don’t eat it on top of screaming. Her encounter with 3MB seemed a little too set up. Jinder looked pissed though. Heath Slater being the voice of reason yet scolding her was just too perfect.) Hilarious along with seeing if she had brought out a cheat sheet which she didn’t, as she messed up big time. I believe it was Natalya that said, “Sure glad Stephanie McMahon isn’t here tonight”. Ha ha. (KE: Maybe Steph doesn’t watch the product when she’s there. No wonder people don’t know what’s happening on Raw.) As you can imagine Jinder is VERY upset along with the 3MB. She gave her apology and excuse of why she messed up and called him ‘Ginger’ not Jinder. oops! I’m guessing that red hair killed more brain cells than we thought. But at least she didn’t cheat.

With John Cena losing the belt to Daniel Bryan and then having to have surgery with a 6 month heal time, Daniel is now on the road doing lots of appearances and talks which leaves Brie at home. Though Brie and Nikki have a sweet spot on Psych as zombie vampires that they have to go film for,  she still realizes that 13 days without Daniel is a lot of time without her honey. (KE: Psych is a lot of fun except for most of the WWE appearances. We’ll see if the Bellas can buck the trend.)

Nikki moves in with John in his massive house. She packed 26 boxes of clothes, shoes and purses. DAMN! As she is almost unpacked, John comes in with a paper and tells her to not freak out or take it the wrong way, but he needs her to sign a live-in agreement which she reads out loud that if John wishes she has 40 hours to move out of the home. She obviously feels upset and hurt and takes the paper and walks out saying she needs to think about it. UH OH Cliffhanger! (KE: In no way was this a cliffhanger despite the obvious set up that it was.)

Trinity and Jon Uso are the last on the list. Jon’s toe is bleeding and when they shoot to it, it’s nasty! Trinity finally get’s him to go to the doctor after he says he’s signing his life away by filling out the paperwork, we find out he has a fungus under his big toe, which is spreadable. After chopping half of Jon Uso’s toe nail off, Trinity asks the doctor to look at her feet and we find out that Trinity has the toe fungus too. Dude, that is just nasty! So they both leave the hospital with toe fungus cream. ha ha … Yep, superstars get fungus too. Bleck! (KE: This was the second grossest thing in this episode.)

I’m not sure how you sum up something that was quite boring and slightly disgusting. Did I forget something from the show, maybe, (KE: Yes you did, the super gross John Cena elbow surgery. I have jacked up my body more than enough, don’t mind getting hurt but can’t watch surgeries. Yuck.) I guess I didn’t talk about how Brie was talking to their Agent on the phone about bra sizes and weight and how Brie said she was 123 and Nikki said 130 and Brie looked at her ‘really?’ and then Nikkie said, ‘ok, 135’,  but whatever else I may have forgotten I’m sure Kevin will remind me. Will we get some sizzle next week as Eva Marie and TJ wrestle while Natalia gets upset? Highly doubtful but we’ll still watch this hot mess and write about it. You’re welcome WWE. – M (& Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 9

be_stronger_than_your_excusesThey’re stronger, they’re more outrageous and if it’s possible, more glamorous. This time, it’s no hold barred! Life is about to seriously change. Only on E! This was the commercial that was constantly being played on Spotify last week so everyone would be so intrigued they would tune in and watch the next season of Total Diva’s. After crying hysterically and then being bored out of my gourd, I thought leave it to the WWE to make the first half of the show interesting to pull viewers in, put them to sleep in the middle and try to wake them up in the end with a not so good cliff hanger. Since I wasted 45 minutes watching this, I’ll waste at least 5 minutes of your time reading this. Ha ha.

We begin the season with a recap, which is always good for me as I completely forgot what has happened in the last 2 months that they have been off. I have to say, the show started off with pretty good one liners as Eva Marie brought up her 4 page spread in Maxim as the girls meet for brunch on a Sunday afternoon. Between Nattie calling Eva a Hoochie, Jojo saying she wants to throw up her breakfast in her mouth due to having to look at these pictures again and Brie gives a non-humble Eva a kicker when she tells Eva that the Bella Twins were in Maxim Espanol which get’s distributed to more countries. Ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: You could tell the Bellas were pissed about not being on thee Maxim cover even if they covered things up with Latin America.)

We get more hilarious outtakes with Trinity in her sparkling shoes and how they hurt her feet terribly and walks out of the hotel like an old bow legged grandma, quite hilarious as she stuck out that booty of hers. (KE: She rewound it to watch a second time. I didn’t argue.)

Ariane goes crazy after the car in front of her continues to go really slow and in turn stops right in the road. Ariane gets out of the car and starts yelling at the person in the car. To me it all seemed a bit staged, but whatever, it just flared her temper which is what her story line was in this episode. Ariane once again goes berserk on Vincent, her boyfriend, at a WWE party. I don’t know how many times she needs to say ‘babe’ but I have to say, someone needs to take that out of her vocabulary! (KE: That’ll happen right when the Steelers take “Obviously” out of Mike Tomlin’s vocabulary.) Trinity ends up talking to Ariane and tells her she needs help with her anger. She goes to talk to talk to her mom where they have a heart to heart. Her mom tells her she shouldn’t do that and that Vincent deserves better. At this point, they’re both perfect for each other as they’re both annoying as ever and who would want to deal with that.

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