Top 10 Survivor Series Elimination Matches

We here at Stunt Granny are suckers for nostalgia, so when we think of Survivor Series, we don’t think of some queefy triple threat match with John Cena, CM Punk and Ryback. We hearken back to the days when teams of five (or four) strive to survive! You know, hence the name of the event. At its inception, the Survivor Series pay-per-view was composed of elimination matches, with the goal of survival at the expense of the entire opposing team. Then they started fucking with the format, and now it’s a bunch of singles matches, with the token bone thrown at us older fans of one, maybe two elimination matches.

Well screw you, WWE, we’ve compiled a list of the top 10 Survivor Series elimination matches of all time! We’ve scoured YouTube for copyright infringers (them, not us) and found most of these matches for your viewing pleasure. If you find one that we couldn’t, leave the link in a comment and we’ll post it. (Don’t rip it and upload yourself; remember, we’re not the ones breaking the law 🙂 )

Side note: How was the 1989 event so damn good?? The worst match featured the top draw and two of the best workers of all time!

1988
Powers of Pain & Rockers & Hart Foundation & British Bulldogs & Young Stallions
vs.
Demolition & Brain Busters & Bolsheviks & Fabulous Rougeaus & Conquistadors

1989
Ultimate Warrior & Jim Neidhart & Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty
vs.
Andre the Giant & Arn Anderson & Haku & Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Macho King Randy Savage & Earthquake & Dino Bravo & Greg Valentine
vs.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Bret Hart & Ronnie Garvin & Hercules

Dusty Rhodes & Brutus Beefcake & Red Rooster & Tito Santana
vs.
Big Boss Man, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel and Honky Tonk Man

Rick Rude & Mr. Perfect & Fabulous Rougeaus
vs.
Roddy Piper & Jimmy Snuka & Bushwhackers

1991
Ric Flair, The Mountie, Ted DiBiase, & Warlord
vs.
Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Virgil, & Davey Boy Smith

1993
Marty Jannetty, Randy Savage, Razor Ramon, & The 1-2-3 Kid
vs.
Irwin R. Schyster, Diesel, Rick Martel, & Adam Bomb

1994
Razor Ramon & 1-2-3 Kid & Davey Boy Smith & Headshrinkers (Fatu & Sionne)
vs.
Shawn Michaels & Diesel & Owen Hart & Jim Neidhart & Jeff Jarrett

1995
Shawn Michaels & Ahmed Johnson & Davey Boy Smith & Psycho Sid
vs.
Yokozuna & Owen Hart & Razor Ramon & Dean Douglas

2001
The Rock & Chris Jericho & Undertaker & Kane & Big Show
vs.
Steve Austin & Kurt Angle & Booker T & Rob Van Dam & Shane McMahon

2003
Randy Orton & Chris Jericho & Christian & Scott Steiner & Mark Henry
vs.
Shawn Michaels & Rob Van Dam & Booker T & Bubba & D-Von Dudley

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #Raw

This child is embracing the hate. John Cena should too.

After getting a review of last week’s ending of Raw, Kane comes out to talk. He says we’re all disappointments. My teams are a disappointment right now. Dear lord. Can we fast forward to the 2012-2013 season already? The Steelers weren’t going to win the Super Bowl because of their injuries. If the Penguins have one more injury this year, they might need more minor league players. Kane tells everyone that yells “Cena sucks” that they aren’t embracing the hate. Weird logic that isn’t holding up for me. Kane is going to get what he wants, consequences. That’s another weird moment. John Cena hits the ring and a brawl ensues. Cena is embracing the hate by using a pipe.  Kane pulls a Batman and disappears. Gasp! (That’s sarcasm.)

Sheamus is the next out. Nice of them to try and make Smackdown sound important. Sean calls to tell me to watch the LSU vs Alabama game. I pretty much miss the match with Santino & Sheamus against Jinder Mahal & Wade Barrett. I didn’t really need to see it with Jinder being buried deeper than a serial killer’s victim. Johnny Wooden GM tells us Brodus Clay will debut tonight and he tells the Miz to get protection for R Truth. Are they telling us that Brodus will be the Miz’s protection?

The first Hall of Fame nominee is the Rated R Superstar, Edge. I thought they’d give him a little more time on the shelf before selecting him. I’m surprised they think he’s this important. Oh goody, we get a second inductee tonight. The Miz was interviewing Mason Ryan who walked away. Zack Ryder talks scared with his dad but goes tough guy when Eve Torres shows up. He asks her out. Eve agrees. We know this isn’t reality. Kane was creeping. Him & his mood lighting.

Kofi Kingston gets to job to Daniel Bryan who may indeed be going heel. Mitchell is pointing out his cowardice. Jerry Lawler agrees with him so I’ll lean more towards the heel turning. Bryan turns a cross body into a LeBell Lock. That looked sloppy at first but mades sense in the end. Cool is confused since he knows he’ll be rooting for Bryan when he turns for good. Big Show arrives. Bryan says that he agrees the ending of the match on Smackdown wasn’t suitable for him either. Big Show informs him that it’s no count out, no DQ match on Smackdown. Doesn’t that even the odds for Bryan actually? Either interference or by using weaponry.

Royal Rumble hype while I watch the end of the first half. Alabama up 9-0. Only 6 more points to get to the last grand total of 15. I’m smelling swerve. Planet Funk? Funkasaurus? What the fuck? I do dig the fedora. More of a pot pie style. Cool is snickering. Curt Hawkins gets a rare appearance. I’m so confused. But I’m laughing. Is he going to have the dancing girls every week? Zack talks himself up then Miz lobbies Primo & Epico for some reason. Rosa walking away is her only deficiency. She could use some more booty. CM Punk laughs at him on his way to work. Am I watching Impact Wrestling? Those segments were way too short and randomly thrown together.

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Dusty’s Blog: A Modest Proposal For Changing The Shape Of WWE

There’s a guy who gets paid to do this who brings up that wrestlers should get about three months of mandatory time off per year every couple months.  What he doesn’t realize is that it’s not really adequate to just want something to happen.  I want to impregnate Scarlett Johansson, but I realize that might not ever happen.  What I’m saying is, you have to actually present an idea, instead of just saying something to say it.  So while I’m working on the Scarlett thing, here’s a modest proposal for wrestlers getting three months off every year.

Treat wrestling like a real sport.  Let’s use basketball as the example for these purposes, since those knuckleheads have been in the news recently.  A typical NBA season (when they’re not following up the best year in the history of their league with an extended, fan repelling lockout) runs until April, and then the playoffs culminate in June with the championship series.  And then they have off until late October or November, so we’re talking about four months off for NBA players to get high and play video games. 

So if we’re talking three months off (admittedly as arbitrary as any number would be, but we’ll use it as the launching point for this column), how do we structure WWE’s “season”?  The first thing I can think of is that WrestleMania is still considered the biggest WWE event of the year, even in this age of de-focus on pay-per-views and more focus on television (and Twitter).  So let’s say WrestleMania is where the championship is decided every year.  Now let’s work backwards to get there.

This system would allow for every match to mean something, which is something a lot of people on the internet have been clamoring for for years now.  I propose a point system of something like three points for every pinfall or submission victory, two points for every countout or disqualification victory, one point for a draw (time limit draw or no decision type situation), and zero points for any loss.  Tiebreakers can be amount of wins first and fewest amount of losses second.  Or something like that.  I’m just spitballing here.  The important part is that I get my ideas out.

And keep track of every win and loss, and constantly update the point totals.  Show the leaderboard on the television shows.  Have a page on the website that tracks everybody on the roster.  Make it interactive.  At some random point, the “season” ends, and it’s time for the tournament.  The seedings for the tournament will be based on the points system.  The finals of the tournament will be held at WrestleMania.  After WrestleMania, the “season” is over, and the wrestlers get April, May and June off, and start up the next season in July.

I think this format would serve several purposes.  For one, it gives everyone on the roster time to rest up, heal injuries, what have you.  For another, it would make every match important, since logically you would want to win every match so you get as many points as possible so you get the best seed in the tournament you possibly can.  You’d rather be facing Primo in the first round of the tournament than, say, Dolph Ziggler.  Make it easy on yourself, why don’t you?

You can still make the TV shows storyline driven, to an extent.  But the storylines would now be centered around gaining in the standings, gaining points, improving your status, as opposed to storylines centered around comedy that isn’t funny and belts changing hands every week.

And what about those belts?  Gone.  You’re wrestling for the purpose of winning the “championship” at the end of the “season.”  Belts have so little meaning anymore anyway, it’s a necessary evil to get rid of them.  Besides, belts don’t sell tickets anymore either.  Wrestlers don’t even really sell tickets anymore, aside from maybe like John Cena and Undertaker and special appearance guys like the Rock.  The WWE brand sells tickets.  People go to TV tapings and live events to see “WWE,” and whatever that means to them.  I would argue it would be an easy transition to a belt-less company.  The people wouldn’t mind nearly as much as the purists would want you to believe.

And what about tag teams?  Gone.  As much of a tag team wrestling fan as I am, as much as I grew up loving Demolition and the Midnight Express and the Beverly Brothers and the Fabulous Rougeaus and Arn Anderson and whoever Arn was teaming with that week, this is another necessary evil.  The past ten years have done nothing but teach fans that tag teams don’t mean anything.  Every pairing these days is an afterthought, and every team is bound to break up, with the only question being when, not if. 

So with everyone fighting for the goal of winning the individual championship at WrestleMania, the next logical step is getting rid of tag teams altogether.  There is no reason to team with anybody anymore.  Wrestling logic dictates you can’t trust that person, no matter how good of a friend they may seem to be.  So let’s skip the middle man altogether here.  And again, the tag belts don’t mean anything.  No belt does.

So while these may seem like radical steps, I view them as totally necessary to get towards the end goal.  You want a more realistic product, this is the way to do it.  Everyone fighting towards a common goal, you may be “friendly” with some of your competitors but not so much that you wouldn’t try to beat them in a match if it meant gaining ground in the standings.  This is how you can move wrestling towards emulating real sports, like basketball, and real competitions, like UFC events.

Again, the main purpose here was to get this idea out in the open.  I welcome any feedback, improvements, adjustments, whatever, you want to suggest.  This is the rough idea I dreamed up, and I’m kind of excited about it and wanted to share it.  Hopefully I can find enough time to make this a weekly thing, every Sunday night so people can have something to read on Monday mornings when they’re online doing whatever instead of working.  Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to find a job that allows online surfing during work time.  I’ll have to work on that, right after I find Scarlett…

Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Matches

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Matches. Here are last year’s inductees:

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker – WrestleMania 25, Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart – WrestleMania 10, Ric Flair vs. Rick Steamboat – WrestleWar 1989, Ric Flair vs. Rick Steamboat – Chi Town Rumble, Cactus Jack vs. Vader – Halloween Havoc 1993, Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin – WrestleMania 13, Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior – WrestleMania 7, Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior – WrestleMania 6, Great Sasuke & Gran Hamada & Masato Yakushiji vs. Taka Michinoku & Terry Boy & Dick Togo – ECW Barely Legal

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

Royal Rumble 1992

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, WrestleMania 3

CM Punk vs. John Cena, Money in the Bank 2011

Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair, WrestleMania 8

Mick Foley vs. The Undertaker, King of the Ring 1998

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn, ECW Heat Wave 1998

Bret Hart vs. Curt Hennig, Summer Slam 1991

Sting & Nikita Koloff & Rick Steamboat & Barry Windham & Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Rude & Steve Austin & Arn Anderson & Bobby Eaton & Larry Zbyszko, WrestleWar 1992

SG Poll: Which rumored WWE Hall of Famer would you have liked to see inducted?

As always, leave comments, but more importantly, don’t let this poll get in the way of some good audio; check below for the first three parts of Jeremy and Kevin’s WWE WrestleMania 27 previews, and stay tuned for the rest!

Finlay is Gone

From PWI:

WWE RELEASES TOP BACKSTAGE NAME
By Mike Johnson on 2011-03-29 12:45:38
World Wrestling Entertainment released their top Producer/Agent Dave Finlay yesterday, PWInsider.com has confirmed.
The story making the rounds is that The Miz was booked to come out an interrupt the national anthem during a house show in Champaign, IL over the weekend. There were a number of representatives for the national Guard, who are a HUGE partner and sponsor for WWE, in attendance. Obviously, they were not pleased with the anthem being used to get heel heat.

When word made it’s way back to WWE management, the decision was made to release Finlay, who as the top Producer of the show, “had to fall on the sword”, as it was described to me.

There were a lot of shocked people within the company today as word began to make the rounds among the wrestlers and staff. Finlay was well liked and more than a few people I spoke to hoped that it was a situation where he was let go only to be brought back down the line.

Finlay, a third generation wrestler, had been with the company from 2001 and was considered the top Producer backstage, with Arn Anderson directly behind him in the line of command. Finlay had long been given credit for the rise and improvement of the WWE Divas division over the last decade. He worked for several years behind the scene for the company before returning as a wrestler in a full-time role as well in 2006, mostly to help introduce the Hornswoggle character and work with younger talents that needed help in the ring. WWE had quietly retired him as a wrestler last year when the decision was made to go with younger faces on the television product.

Finlay had been wrestling since 1974. He was considered one of the top heels in Europe in the 1990s and also toured New Japan Pro Wrestling. He finally made his way to the United States during the Monday Night Wars for WCW as the “Belfast Bruiser.”

I would be willing to bet he’ll be back by the end of the year. – Dusty

And now, A Moment with Arn Anderson

I just decided that every once in a while, we need some words of wisdom from the guy who looks like everyone’s dad’s brother, Uncle Arn, so this might become a regular feature on SG, depending on how many videos of Double A I can find. -Eric

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