Wrestlemania XXX: Live Version

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Since we attended Wrestlemania XXX, it was a little tough to do an “Almost Live” review so I posted after each match some thoughts over on our Facebook page. Just to get something up, I’ll expand on these points.

Very good opening match. No idea why it was on the pre-show other than time constraints.

We had no idea why this match got bumped to the pre-show but it’s pretty obvious that the segment after this bumped this match down a notch. The match itself was a lot of fun. The Usos weren’t going to lose considering how recently they won the tag titles. It was good to see Cesaro and Jack Swagger break up but it is a little weird that Cesaro is probably the “We the People” guy now despite the fact that Zeb Colter stuck with Swagger after the post match dust up.

I’m pretty sure my voice will be shot by the end of the night.

We all knew that Hulk Hogan was hosting Wrestlemania at the Silver Dome, brother. I had also seen reports that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was in town. I had no idea that “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was in town so I certainly pooped for him the most. It also helps that between the three, he’s my favorite. What a fun moment it was to see the three biggest stars of the WWF/E in the ring to kick off the big show. Having Hogan stumble over the name of the place is hilarious. R Truth was probably celebrating in the back since he is officially off the hook as the last boob to forget where he was.

Good match, won’t be surprised if people thought the pacing was slow. Good reversals.

We saw the stage hands setting up HHH’s entrance as the above segment was going on so we knew HHH vs Daniel Bryan was coming first. I did like HHH’s entrance set up. He has been know to over do it but the slave girls taking off the cape and him removing his helm had a cool look to it. I would be interested to know the last time that HHH wrestled this early on the card. Even though we couldn’t hear the announcers, it was obvious they were selling Bryan as still injured from his attack since he had a wrap on his left shoulder. I was surprised that Stephanie didn’t play a larger role in the match though she did act great at ring side. The match was paced well to me but as noted, I wouldn’t be surprised if people complained about it. A lot of mat wrestling and reversals so it wasn’t as high paced as most matches are now. HHH is not the new variety of athlete. After Daniel Bryan won, he was still popular.

Hands in the air who think the opening segment went long & caused the Shield match to be that short?

Considering that the New Age Outlaws haven’t been a hit in the ring since their return and Kane has barely wrestled since turning in to Corporate Kane, I’m not exactly arguing with the beat down they received from the Shield but I did want to see Ambrose (I’m enjoying his character more again), Reigns and Rollins in the ring more. Oh well, no big loss. It’s their yard for the future. Now will they break up soon like the Real Americans?

My voice is definitely shot after Cesaro winning the Battle Royal.

Battle Royals suck to start with but when they only announce Sheamus & Big Show, you have no idea who all is in the ring. Considering they had “mystery participants” we figured they’d be announced but they weren’t. When you’re seated in a solid but still far away location, they suck even more. It did provide for a “Holy Shit” moment when Cesaro picked up Big Show and made him the last elimination. I popped big time as I was hoping they wouldn’t do the Andre – Big Show comparison for the first win. Cesaro taking the pin in the first match was a small price to pay for the big win. My voice and Jeremy’s are both shot so an audio post Wrestlemania wasn’t happening.

Is that Sister Abigail? and Not a fan of the outcome even if that’s what I thought would happen.

These comments were obviously in regards to the John Cena vs Bray Wyatt match. It was a night for victories for the young guys but not in this match. Granted, there’s some obvious differences to me. Bray Wyatt hasn’t been around quite a year. John Cena has more mileage left than Big Show, Kane, NAO and HHH. Wyatt can bounce back and has plenty of time to do so. The story of this match also didn’t seem to fit the action in the ring either. The temptation of Jesus, I mean John Cena, didn’t seem to be in the story telling leading up to the match. This match needed more context and you don’t get that live.  I did dig Wyatt’s entrance or else I wouldn’t have talked about “Sister Abigail.”

To say that was unexpected is an understatement. 21-1.

Brock Lesnar provided the biggest shock of the night against the Undertaker. I still don’t fully understand why this decision was made. Lesnar didn’t need the credibility. Jeremy made a good point that no matter who broke the streak, they were going to be hated. The WWE has done their best to make the Beast hated but it has failed. Part of the problem may be the mostly split crowds no matter what the match up. We heard enough HHH chants during the opener, I was openly saying “Let’s go Cena and Cena sucks” and there were Brock fans. This is the best they could do to bring out hate for someone. I still believe that Taker okay-ed it so maybe there’s something in store for tonight. Maybe a retirement for the Undertaker. Brock now going after the WWE Title. Both are possibilities. Jeremy & I cheered when the ref counted three. I’m geeked that I saw history. 21-1.

This might be the first time I’ve said this, but I feel bad for the Divas.

As our good friend Shahid Abdul-Hadi said “first and last time” that I’ll say anything like that. The Divas have been stuck in this spot for a couple of years now. They know they’re the rest match between the two main events. To make matters worse, people were pissed or still in shock from the Undertaker’s loss. I thought it was a creative loss for Naomi who wasn’t going to have her big win for the Divas Title in a fourteen woman match. AJ Lee gets some heat for cheating which should help their feud unless the WWE feels the need to include all of the Total Divas in matches going forward.

 That was an expected ending. Let’s see how the #YesMovement continues.

Daniel Bryan, by far, got the biggest response of the night. Batista and Randy Orton were just window dressing but they provided plenty of good action. I was disappointed that HHH & Stephanie felt compelled to inject themselves into this match but it was a quick and painless dispatching by Bryan helped to minimize that damage. Their appearance does make sense from a story line perspective though. In a night without any NO DQ or similar stipulation matches, this one provided the “Holy Shit!” action moment of the night with the Batista Bomb into the RKO on the tables which Orton paid for when his back landed square on a monitor. The stretcher moment amped the drama but I wasn’t that big of a fan of it. Let him take an Edge Coffee Break (tm, not really) and have the two former members of Evolution duke it out in the ring. Even though Bryan did get the largest response, I feel like his momentum is starting to slow down a little bit which is inevitable for anyone. It’ll be interesting to see where they take him. Orton can complain about not being pinned. Lesnar wanted a title shot at Wrestlemania. Two choices from my perspective. I guess I’ll find out what it is when we head to Raw in about an hour. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

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From momandhops.ca which is an outstanding site name.

We’ve got two weeks until Wrestlemania so it’s time to start recording individual match previews and since we’re going to Wrestlemania, we’ve got to start the process this week. I wish they had more matches in concrete for us to go on because all of the matches scheduled will have some development in the mean time which will make us sound like a bunch of asses. Hold on, that happens all the time, doesn’t it? Let’s roll.

After the video package about Daniuel Bryan, HHH and Stephanie McMahon, she comes out. The music makes me laugh because it doesn’t fit her current persona. She’s nailing this promo. No reason for the CM Punk chant. She ends kind of weak propping up her man. Randy Orton shows up. I’m digging what he has going until Steph cuts him off. Orton wants HHH to walk away from the title match. Batista shows before she can answer. He got rid of the skinny jeans. Good choice. It was the one last thing that was irritating me about your character. His mic keeps going out. Oh my, Steph has to tell him to re-set the promo. Live television is a bitch sometimes. Batista calls out Orton for drooling on Steph. He gets Steph riled up enough to slap him. Batista starts laughing. She storms out. Batista ends up spearing Orton. He held up both the belts. Batista is so awesome right now.

Alberto Del Rio and Christian are in the ring. They will be battling for a chance at the IC Title. Interesting choice of them not to get an entrance since they should win to take on Big E, who is at ring side. Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus are the good guys. They paired off early but Ziggler and Sheamus get the first big in ring stretch. Sheamus tosses Christian against the barricade. Del Rio gets drop kicked out of the ring by Ziggler. Sheamus clothes lines Christian over the barricade to bring us to a break. Ziggler gets tossed in the air and crashes down. Sheamus gives Del Rio Rolling Hills on the outside. Christian cross body on Ziggler almost back fires. The crowds have been giving my boy some love recently. Never as sustained as others. Sheamus cleans up on Christian then Del Rio. Sheamus goes to the top rope but Ziggler catches him with a face buster. Del Rio kicks out after a Ziggler DDT. Power bomb by Christian on Ziggler. Del Rio kicks Christian to break the pin. Sheamus gets the Cloverleaf on Del Rio. Christian breaks it up. Del Rio intercepts Sheamus and locks in the cross arm breaker. Ziggler Zig Zags Sheamus & Del Rio at the same time. Christian comes in and gives the Killswitch to Ziggler for the win. Christian turns down the hand shake from Big E Langston. Bray Wyatt shows up on the Titantron. He wonders if John Cena has ever considered him and what makes him tick. Cena can’t harm someone who can’t feel. Harper warns Cena that they’re coming for him. I thought that was a weird spot to put him in. Nice long match with a clean finish that was sneaky. It seemed important enough not to have a main event promo.

Sin Cara leads in a Scooby Doo mascot. My lady wanted Scooby Doo to replicate Sin Cara’s entrance. Damien Sandow is his opponent. Sin Cara makes short work of him with a Senton. Yikes. We had a Kane video package. Pretty short segment.

Los Matadores are taking on Curtis Axel & Ryback. The Shield distracts Curtis Axel. One of them roll up Axel for the win. The Shield surrounds the ring. Reigns takes Axel out of the ring and beats him down. Ambrose & Rollins teamed against Ryback. Reigns spears Ryback. We then get a triple power bomb. Arnold Schwarzenegger is on this dog and pony show too. Nah, it’s not two weeks out to Wrestlemania. (Next Day Note: I could really combine these two segments to look like they mattered in between the match and HHH. Just 2 throw away segments.)

Mitchell Cool brings out HHH. We get the video package again. HHH thinks people are unclear at the current moment. The cat interrupts the column. They try to hash out their disagreements on the situation. HHH talks about all of the horrible things he’s done and he wonders why he doesn’t see that now. Well, maybe if you didn’t have a PG product, people could be more violent. Maybe he needs to change the direction of the product. Well, that is your job title so congrats on maybe doing your job. HHH knows that no one is going to stop him because he has the power to make it happen. I liked the finish. Another video package this time about Bray Wyatt and John Cena.

Fandango is in the ring with Summer Rae. Cody Rhodes comes out with Goldust. Fandango suplexs Rhodes when I stop having a cat in front of me. Rhodes turns it around with a clothes line. Rhodes nails a missile drop kick. Goldust dances with Summer Rae which distracts Fandango. Rhodes gives Fandango the Disaster Kick for the win.

 

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Stunt Granny Audio #252

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The cat is out of the bag now on who the new guest host is, it’s Shahid Abdul-Hadi. Kevin is there to ask him questions first and foremost about the biggest feud in the WWE right now between Daniel Bryan, HHH, Batista and Randy Orton. HHH is the first one discussed since he just inserted himself into the WWE Title picture. How much can we compliment Eric for his prediction on this added stipulation? What is it that Daniel Bryan questioned that finally got to HHH to agree to the match? Is it part of a larger pattern? Did this week’s beat down of Bryan finally bring this angle into focus? Was it a bad plan for Bryan to take bumps while hand cuffed? The guys talk about how Batista is much more suited to be a heel even though he was supposed to be the returning hero. Randy Orton is playing his role well too. What has changed with his character that has made him more interesting? Is he going to be the longest reigning transitional champion ever? The last character to get discussed is Stephanie McMahon. Have people concentrated on her smug attitude being great but what other role does she do well? Did Shahid fill in Kevin well since his DVR cut the final segment? They finally move on to The Real Americans and The Shield. Why did their story lines get reset? Who is losing out in this scenario? Will it in anyway help fill the massive amount of time the WWE is going to have with a two hour pre-show before Wrestlemania? The last topic of the night is the WWE Network. Is Kevin watching anything on it yet? How often does Shahid watch it while on his treadmill? When did both of these guys fall off the wrestling bandwagon? Are they going to fill in the times that they missed with the Network? And how good was WCW in the early 90s? Find out that and more when you click on the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio #251

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

Jeremy & Kevin are back for another fun filled edition of the Stunt Granny Audio. They start off by talking about children because Baby Momma Drama still has children’s stuff in Kevin’s condo. Jeremy makes quick mention of the fine establishments that he got his engagement pictures snapped at. They move on to the breaking news that the “stars” of “Big World, Little People” are on a hiatus from their marriage. How many short jokes can they make in a couple of minutes? Jeremy & Kevin finally get around to talking wrestling and they start with the big news of the week, Daniel Bryan. Why did Kevin have a problem with how the Authority reacted to the #OccupyRaw movement. Jeremy wonders if the segment would have been helped out by not having Bryan have to focus his wrath on both Stephanie McMahon and HHH. How would you like to get on Stephanie’s bad side in real life with that scream? Everyone is assuming that HHH will lose to Daniel Bryan. What do the guys speculate would happen if HHH put himself over? How would he celebrate the victory? Who would be taking pictures of the stunned crowd? How would the crowd react for the rest of Wrestlemania, Raw & Smackdown? Kevin changes his tune about the planning for matches at Wrestlemania. What match on Wikipedia is a stretch to be considered a main event match? It won’t be a stretch for you to click on the link below to find out the answers to these questions and more.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

hanging-tents-for-rock-climbers-1I’m hoping to get some extra sleep tonight. I’m not feeling the best. Hopefully I’ll get the illness bug out of my system so I don’t have to worry about it at Wrestlemania. When checking for images related to sleeping, it caught my eye when I saw “Sleeping while rock climbing.” That’s where the image above comes from. That’d be fun to do once. I slept in a tree house for my honeymoon so this isn’t that far from the pail.

Hulk Hogan comes down and shills for the WWE Network. We get the first annual 30 Man Andre the Giant Battle for a trophy. Memphonites? John Cena saves us. He shills for Hogan and the match. Cena then joins it. The Wyatts are here. Maybe they’ll save the segment. I dig his promo. Calling himself a god is pretty ironic considering the pride talk. Cena comes back with the jokes about the same subject. Better than normal for his jokes. Cena challenges him to a match at Wrestlemania. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan step onto the apron. Commercial.

Cena is in a match with Rowan. Hogan is a Cena cheerleader. Rowan is using his size to his advantage. Cena wins with a roll up out of the blue. What a weak win. Harper & Rowan pretend like they’re going to go after Cena & Hogan but the Wyatts back away.

Stephanie & HHH come out to the stage. She is really doing well with the smug quality. They are being kind and not firing Daniel Bryan. They want an apology from him though. Short and sweet. The New Age Outlaws come out to do commentary. Very choppy start to the show.

Curtis Axel & Curtis Axel are in the ring. The Usos hit the ring. Then replays of last week. Road Dogg claims that the NAO were under the weather during their loss. U-SO! It’s kind of cool that they’re finisher is the flying tag and Samoan splash combo. Kane talks to the Shield. He wants to know if they’re disposable. Reigns & Rollins are going to take on Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Rollins gives Kane some guff about his losses. The chop continues.

Jack Swagger is taking on Big E Langston again. Zeb Colter & Cesaro are at ring side. Big E wants in on the Battle Royal at Wrestlemania. I’m glad that is over shadowing the match. Belly to Belly suplex gets my attention. Swagger takes out Big E’s knee. Swagger distracts the ref and asks for Cesaro‘s help which doesn’t help. Swagger had said at the start the match that “I’ve got this.” Big E rolls up Swagger for the win. Zeb Colter watches them bicker like school girls. Zeb blows his stack. Swagger & Cesaro shake but Cesaro puts in an extra squeeze.

The Undertaker allows me to catch up a little bit. Paul Heyman shows up before he can say anything. Heyman gives us a break down of winning streaks at Wrestlemania. He asks Taker not to wrestle Brock at Wrestlemania so that everyone can worship the streak and Taker longer. “The fear of the unknown is the greatest of all.” Sure Taker, sounds great in that voice. Rest In Peace. At some point tonight, I’ll have a long paragraph. (Next Day Note: It’s kind of funny how I can complain about the usual 15 minute segment then complain when they change it up. It would have helped if I would have cared about any of these segments. I like a lot of people in these segments but everything was too short.)

Seth Rollins starts against Cody Rhodes. Cody face plants Rollins. Goldust takes over. Downward Spiral by Rollins into the middle turn buckle. Roman Reigns gets his start in the match. Goldust showing off the twisting cross body block. Cody does him one better by doing a spring board cross body. Commercial. Lawler tried to put over a power Samoan Drop by Reigns. I’m not buying it. Samoan Leap drop kick. Reigns starts playing with Goldust. Power slam by Goldust doesn’t quite get the hot tag. Rollins is in to fight a hot tagged Cody. Moonsault gets a two count. Cody with a Muscle Buster.  He stole that from Samoa Joe! (Next Day Note: I can’t believe this isn’t a Twitter beef yet.) Goldust gets speared. Rollins reverses out of the Cross Rhodes. Rollins finishes him off with the buckle bomb & Curb Stomp combo. A good match breaks up the chop even with a commercial.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

streetharassmentThe column got shelved last week because life has a habit of throwing you for a loop. My lady’s grandma died almost two weeks ago now and they had the viewing Tuesday and funeral on Wednesday. We left for Pennsylvania after a half of day of work. My parents place was only a way station to an even further part of the middle of nowhere PA. During this trip, I heard two stories that stuck out to me. Their grandma was born in Germany and met her future husband while he was part of the occupying forces after World War II. When she left her job at the cigar rolling factory, she took the same route home with a friend all of the time. Their Grandfather leaned out the window every day to whistle at her as she walked by. Today, he’d probably be painted as the worst kind soldier the US could employ. The second story was that when she was about to die, she started speaking only in German. The only thing they could make out in her talks was “Und bier.” So they brought her a beer which she sucked down through a straw and then said “Und bier” again and finished off half of a second beer. That’s awesome. Let my last drink be a #SippyTimeBeer. Time to talk about wrestling. Let’s roll.

Hulk Hogan comes out. Big ovation but it’s starting to lose some punch. The announcers are standing and clapping. Ha. “It’s thunderous” says Mitchell Cool as the only thing I can see are people seated in the upper decks. Maybe the music was drowning some of it out? He shills for everything he is back for. I got the WWE Network but haven’t been able to check it out much. I have that silly day time job thing. It has just dawned on me that we’re watching a children’s show, hence all of the app explanations. I hope they get a mascot to start doing it. I’d be far more entertained.

Alberto Del Rio still has a job. He gets to take on Batista again. I love him pointing at the Boo-tista sign. Why should he give a fuck? the WWE will just make him a heel and their business will benefit from it. They are stuck in a weird spot until Wrestlemania though. Basically two heels going at it for the WWE Title. They cut at a time when Jerry Lawler was trying to make a point. Classy. Del Rio is in control after the break. Del Rio crashes on the through the ropes splash he does. Batista gets little come back opportunities but can’t sustain anything. Randy Orton comes out to cheers. Del Rio rolls up Batista for the win. Orton turns the boos into the story. The crowd starts with the “CM Punk” chants. Dave pulls the honesty card. And gives Randy Orton a trashing. I love them playing into the crowd.

Big E Langston comes out first as the Intercontinental Champion. Cesaro comes out with Jack Swagger & Zeb Colter. This outcome will be interesting.  Big E looking sharp with the release suplexes. A big boot turns the tide. Big E catches Langston. A trio of back breakers follows. Cesaro grabs a leaping Langston and gives him a back breaker. Nice. Upper cuts. Big E power slams Cesaro. Big E hits the post when Cesaro dodges. Running upper cut in the corner. Power slam by Cesaro only gets a two count. Gut wrench suplex by Cesaro. They trade blows. Sleeper by Cesaro. Big E clotheslines him. Belly to belly suplex by Langston. The splash only gets him a two count. Super upper cut gets a two count. Urinogi by Langston gets a two. Cesaro throws Langston through the ropes. Swagger whiffs on the cheap shot and gets nailed. Big swing. Swagger jumps into the ring and slaps on the Patriot Lock. Cesaro & Swagger argue. Langston attacks Swagger. The Real Americans double team him. Cesaro neutralizes Langston.

John Cena comes out and is not messing around. He wants Bray Wyatt. Green Bay, we’re here. Did I miss them using the city before? How baby face of him? Wyatt sits in the rocking chair. John Cena is a liar. The Wyatt surround him. Does the Shield help? Harper & Rowan are held back. Cena holds his left leg. The Wyatts pretend to leave but ambush him.

Brad Maddox gave us a match between Christian and Sheamus. I don’t have the network pulled up since I’m behind still. Sheamus tosses Christian outside. Christian punches Sheamus but it only fires him up. Christian gets clothes lined over the top ropes. Christian attempts to crotch Sheamus but gets pulled into the post. Sheamus drops some knees on him. Sheamus shoulder blocks Christian on the outside. Christian takes over. Christian stands on Sheamus. That hurts? He then body locks Sheamus which doesn’t appear to hurt either. Abdominal stretch for two straight nights. Sheamus back elbows out of it. Christian misses a frog splash. High running knee. Christian tosses Sheamus out. Knee lift by Sheamus for a reverse clubbing. Sling shot shoulder block only gets a two count. It looks like Christian tagged Sheamus in the balls. Irish Cloverleaf. Christian gets to the ropes. Christian reverses White Noise for two. Power slam by Sheamus. Christian dodges the Brogue Kick. Christian goes for something off the second ropes and gets Brogue Kicked for the loss. Renee Young talks to HHH & Stephanie McMahon. Daniel Bryan yells at HHH. He tells him he’s not an A+ player. Stephanie gives Kane tonight.

Tony Atlas and Rocky Johnson are honored this week. The Shield is quarreling. Dean Ambrose leaves. Roman Reigns wants Bray Wyatt one on one. Wyatt accepts. Josh Matthews gets to be the WWE’s Matt Lauer. Is that better than doing play by play?

Daniel Bryan takes on Kane who is still dressed in dress slacks and a wife beater. I’m not so fond of this build up even if they’re pulling it from the real files like Orton vs Batista. The arguments by the announcers are more important than anything happening in the ring. JBL argues poorly from time to time and this is one of those times. Kane starts working over the shoulder when they start paying attention. The only JBL point that makes sense is Bryan shouldn’t have attacked Kane last night. Bryan has a short come back until Kane goes after the shoulder again. The announcers are really annoying me this match. Head scissors by Bryan turns things around. The angle is feeling forced because of Punk’s departure. Suicide dive by Bryan moves the action outside. Flying Goat gets stopped. Kane choke slams him instead. Bryan works hard for the Yes Lock. Kane shoves him off. Running Knee for the win. The announcers still suck. Bryan calls out HHH. He’s hiding behind Big Steph’s skirt. He wants us to get what we want HHH vs Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania.

Alexander Rusev gets gets another in the shadows vignette with his lady friend. Fandango & Summer Rae are in the ring. Emma comes out with Santino Marella. It’s just a ladies match. They shove each other. Summer Rae goes for a cat roll. Emma shoulder blocks her. Summer spin kicks Emma and only gets two. Summer talks trash to Santino while kneeing Emma. Nice. Emma puts on the Emma Lock for the tap out win. Summer tumbles onto Santino.

Billy Gunn gets busted for the hand full of tights so they have a rematch with the Usos. They leave the ring when Road Dogg asks. They super kick him as he ends his ring intro. Billy forgets to catch one flying Uso. Big splash for a very quick victory. I guess it’s better if they win the titles at Wrestlemania but I’m not looking forward to the build up.

Roman Reigns stares at Bray Wyatt as he paces at ringside. They trade blows when Bray takes a break. They trade slightly harder moves. Wyatt takes over with a boot to the face. Reverse chin lock always hooks you. Wyatt knocks Reigns down. Reigns slams Wyatt’s head into the turn buckle. Reigns clothes lines Wyatt for a break. Back splash by Wyatt. Bray punches Reigns on the ground. Wyatt suplexes Reigns. Wyatt does the Running Bear Attack. I mean, that move should be named by now, right? Reigns dodges a Wyatt charge. Reigns kicks him off. Flying clothesline by Reigns. Roman nails the flying drop kick. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan show up. Seth Rollins takes them out. Reigns misses a spear. Rollins is getting beat down when Dean Ambrose makes the save. Superman punch. Ambrose goes after Wyatt which gets Reigns DQed. I agree with the Michael Cole/Lawler angle that Ambrose may have gotten him DQed but saved him. The Wyatts did show up first.

Brock Lesnar comes out with Paul Heyman to a table. HHH gave Brock Lesnar an open contract. Heyman sells missing out on the WWE Title. I mean, just listen to it. I can’t do it justice. Dong. Dong. Lights go out. The Undertaker shows up in some serious leather gear. The WWE keeps on coming up with ways to possibly break the streak. This is one could be the last. John Cena is the only other person on my list. After a stare down, Taker looks at the sign. Lesnar signs the deal. I love him pushing the pen against Taker’s chest. Taker stabs Lesnar’s hand then choke slams him through the table. Awesome response. I like the shaved head and baby mohawk. I’m glad I’m going. For that match alone. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #245

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Jeremy & Kevin start off your audio journey by talking about their piss poor recording effort last week. Why did a woman with a pig get dragged into this conversation? They move on to the topics that they started on last week. Does Matt Hardy even matter a week later? Whether Hardy does or not, CM Punk is certainly still news. What does his silence mean? Will fences be mended between him and the WWE? If they are, who can he fight at WrestleMania? Would he bump Daniel Bryan’s spot against HHH? How much at fault is the WWE in the recent crowd reactions? Who will enjoy booing of the main event of WrestleMania if it’s Randy Orton against Batista? How interesting will the crowd be at the Rosemont Arena in a few weeks? Would it work to have Batista turn heel and be the one to take on CM Punk? Is Roman Reigns ready to be a big player on the WrestleMania stage like some people have suggested?  Did the WWE pull the trigger on the Shield versus The Wyatts too early? How much of a train wreck is WrestleMania going to be in the story line department? Do they need a multi-wrestler match to help balance out the loss still of Money In The Bank? Find out the answer to these many questions along with Jeremy’s wedding plans when you click on the link below!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

On Hold Music

From Amazon.com

I’ll do the intro tomorrow. It’ll explain the picture. (Next Day Note: So I got to start this column fairly late after being on hold with American Airlines who will do you the privilege of not charging you for a ticket for a whole 24 hours if you only use their airplane services. Unfortunately, my lady was also going to use Frontier on her itinerary so they’re going to charge her immediately. The call took long to answer so the woman needed to start over again ordering her ticket which only infuriated her more. Just to put whipped cream and a cherry on top of the situation, American Airlines didn’t send her a confirmation email but did send me her itinerary. Note to myself: Get her a new laptop. Another Note to myself: Don’t use American Airlines because they’re a pain in the ass.)

They give us a brief overview of John Cena’s last 24 hours. Stephanie & HHH get to kick off the show. I wish HHH had gone down the cry baby fans angle a little further. He crows about all the good stuff that happened at the Rumble. He works as a hype man. Stephanie announces Randy Orton in an Elimination Chamber match. Daniel Bryan interrupts. Stephanie with the condescending answer. He is stepping up big time. I mean, a Cleveland crowd is lively so Stephanie is clearly wrong. Power to the people is what Bryan is preaching. He wants into the Chamber. Bryan then steps up to HHH. I rewind to watch my boy Seth Rollins fall over the barricade. Bryan gets beat down from the Shield. Sheamus comes out to help but gets overwhelmed. John Cena makes the final save. Fun opening segment.

Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio are in the ring as a tag team. They are taking on the Real Americans. Jack Swagger not looking sharp against Sin Cara. Zeb Colter slaps Swagger. He ends up taking over against Sin Cara. A break? Really? Sin Cara DDTs Swagger for an opening. Cesaro gets dumped outside. He tosses Mysterio off the ring apron.  Mitchell Cool reacts to a roll up a little too forcefully (Next Day Edit: Cool acted like it was an innovative move which a victory roll is not.). Sin Cara can’t get the tag. He takes a rough looking drop even if it was flat. Mysterio finally gets the hot tag. He cleans house. Rey gets a couple of near falls on Cesaro but Swagger makes the save on the later. 619 on Cesaro. Sin Cara misses the Swanton and goes for a spring board. Cesaro catches him with the super upper cut. Neutralizer for the win. Here goes another Real Americans push.

Bad News Barrett has bad news for the TV viewers. We are warned of the Miz vs Dolph Ziggler in the battle of Cleveland. I can always love some Cleveland hate. Ah, the losers line. So our preview is the Monday Night Wars for the WWE Network? Wasn’t that already implied? If you’re not excited about a Summer Rae addition to Total Divas, you’re A) not male B) gay.

I am imagining a man pleasuring himself by sticking the heel into his anus like Summer is giving them a strap on after winning these dance shoes on a WWE.com auction.

I am imagining a man pleasuring himself by sticking the heel into his anus like Summer is giving them some deep dicking from strap on after winning these dance shoes on a WWE.com auction.

Fandango is taking on R Truth. Xavier Woods is back on the head set. Woods claims JBL stole his number. Emmalution gets to dance a little more this week. Summer Rae plays the part of siren and Truth gets blasted with a clothes line. They love talking about Woods PhD. The match is way more about the announcing. Truth gets a two count. Round house kick by Fandango gets a two count. Truth Detector for the win.

Continue reading

@WWE #RoyalRumble Rewind

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Jeremy:  Nice. So…..that was a disappointing ppv. Entirely un interesting outside of Brock and Wyatt matches.

Kevin:  I want to re-watch the Bryan vs Wyatt match. I didn’t get a good feel for it trying to settle in. Interesting time though to have Wyatt finally get a big win when he has no momentum.

 Jeremy:  I loved it. Didn’t mind the finish as well. Wyatt is and has been really good. The Trimble bites me to tears. I dozed off for some of it
 Kevin:  Of that match or just the end of the Rumble?
 Jeremy:  Entire thing. There were no interesting surprise. Batista was so winded I felt. Out of breath. Cena vs Orton was so fucking terrible it killed any momentum going in to the Rumble.
Jeremy:  I was shocked how bad it was. Cena/Orton. There was no chemistry last night.
Kevin:  Wanted to check what I wrote. It felt disjointed. First gear for a long time then jumped to third gear and fourth quickly.
Jeremy:  They kept doing each others finishers with no drama. The Wyatt interaction gives me hope.
Kevin:  With Cena? I’d settle for some consistent story for the Wyatts. My guess though is the Bella Twins get in trouble and Cena & Bryan need to make up and play nice to fight off the Wyatts.
Jeremy:  Hmm. Maybe but that is a huge step down for Cena.
Kevin:  So taking on the Wyatts by himself is a step up? The group that has already been infiltrated and haven’t won anything significant yet except for the match last night?
Jeremy:  No it isn’t really. That was the strongest Wyatt looked though. Cena on his own in a mid card match is weird enough. A mid card tag match is even lower.
Kevin:  I guess singles matches are marginally a step up. Story trumps the singles vs tag team situation to me in this instance. Bryan can still be mad at Cena for not saving him. They can drag that out. Will they be able to function as a team? All the usual shenanigans that go on with those types of stories.

Jeremy:  They can tie it in to Total Divas. I am just happy Wyatt seems to have a focus now. Giving him to Cena is huge for him.
Kevin:  What direction is that? Try to recruit someone, get rejected and lose to them with last night being the first victory?
Jeremy:  Yup. Baby steps. He got over on the guy who betrayed him. He had to look strong if he is facing Cena. Beating Bryan was a good step, especially clean. The guy that beat Cena and Orton clean must get beaten clean.
Kevin:  I just feel like it’s a “You got lucky” win even though it wasn’t presented that way. Wyatt hasn’t done squat in the ring but I’m supposed to believe he had a somewhat easy time beating the hottest guy in the company?
Jeremy:  I wouldn’t say it was easy. That was a damn hard hitting match. Very physical with both men looking strong. So Wyatt winning an even match was a good idea. You are correct with Wyatt not doing squat in ring. You apparently forgot the inferno match.
Kevin:  Okay smart ass. He beat Kane with help from Harper & Rowan. All of the Wyatt bashing I did too, doesn’t mean I think he’s done a poor job. Enjoyed the promos and the limited in ring work, I just think more of it is needed before they go for the jugular against the big boys.
Jeremy:  That was more me agreeing. Since that may be it. Him getting hurt didn’t help. They hot shot people at weird times. This may just be an Elimination Chamber match. What you think of Rusev? He gets the big thumbs up here. After only hearing his name and his praises it was nice seeing him deliver. He didn’t look lost out there.
Kevin:  He looked pretty damn good. Hard to judge too much with it not being a conventional match. His build reminded me of Taz if he were 6″ taller.
Jeremy:  Yeah he had the old school monster heel going. Hmm, not a bad comparison. I was disappointed to see him get tossed.

Kevin:  He was one of the few surprises. Nash was the other one. Neither lasted all that long.
Jeremy:  Nash was a big surprise. I expected more of a crowd reaction. If he had gone right after Punk then it would have worked for me in a larger storyline purpose.
Kevin:  Yeah, I felt like they passed on moving along story lines in this Rumble except for pumping up Reigns with his 12 eliminations.
Jeremy:  Right. I never once thought Reigns would win but he looked good. Is it too much to ask that he takes on Big E?

Kevin:  During the Rumble itself or are you thinking singles match at WM?
Jeremy:  Singles for WM. Big E is under rated doing his work. He is huge and doesn’t get blown up in ring unlike a certain asthmatic returning Royal Rumble winner. Can we copyright Royal Fumble? Auto-correct apparently saw the PPV.
Kevin:  Ha. Almost surprised I haven’t seen that before. I’m not sure it’s a fumble so much as not the way I’d do things. An Evolution show down isn’t near the main event Rock vs Cena is.
Jeremy:  Not at all. As a fan of Batista though I don’t mind. An if his reported actions after the show are any indication he is heeling it nicely. Picking up where he left off. Arrogant heel Batista is money. Maybe he can get Orton to show some life.
There is money in a Batista/ Bryan feud as well. Total contrast but they could pull it off.
Jeremy:  So are you in panic/ anger mode like so many?
Kevin:  So, where do I go now to find out people are panicking? Not that all of the people on FB are in agreement with every decision the WWE makes, but no one seemed to blow up there about Bryan not winning. So if I don’t see an over reaction there, I don’t know one is going on. To answer your question directly, it’s Wrestlemania season. The WWE writers have their thinking hats on, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt until April 6th.

Jeremy:  I am in same boat with you. Thought the Rumble was boring and it has made me apprehensive for WM. The Brock Lesnar match made it pretty clear he is taking on Undertaker which should be good. The freakout from Foley and a lot of fans is what I was referring to.
Kevin:  I was wondering what you meant about the Lesnar match. I did read Big Show may be injured so that makes sense why the match went the way it did. I would like to see the WWE pull the trigger on someone like Bryan but I’m not pissed about it either. I doubt the WWE will keep Bryan down if he continues getting this reaction over even more time.
Jeremy:  Needs to have a consistent push in order for the variables to kick in. I did not see Big Show was injured so yeah makes sense. Bryan also needs the opportunity to talk. He hasn’t had nearly enough. When he has he has been good.

Kevin:  Plus, he has the Total Divas arm candy. If that show continues to be successful, Bryan won’t have any problems.
Jeremy:  Is it sum be to think there is a master plan? Foley and Bryan going to twitter seems to be a WWE thing. They are all about social media.
Kevin:  There’s that aspect too. Are they actually working us? I don’t know. At some point though, continuing to tease without a pay off will get you eaten by the wolf.
Jeremy:  Yes exactly.

Kevin’s Blog:Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

iowa final cover

From lettermachine.org

Jeremy and Eric were dreaming of doing the above tonight in Cedar Falls, Iowa tonight. Alas, my partners in crime are now star crossed and hoping to hook up a day later. Let’s roll.

The lovers and guardians of the WWE in the form of HHH & Stephanie McMahon greet us. Trips has a decent collection of suits. They’re not too loud or overly slick. Just nice. Randy Orton interrupts their joyous announcement. Sorry Steph, people aren’t tuning in in record numbers. Steph giving the brow beating to Orton before she gives us a video package. Her line of anger is perfect but it’s making their characters really weird. Why are they waffling between baby faces and heels? HHH is playing it right too. I hate when I love the material but not the logic. HHH gives Orton another match against Kofi Kingston. He’s also making him apologize to John Cena. Batista makes his entrance. He soaks up the cheers. HHH & Steph leave to leave Big Dave with Orton. The skinny jeans are not a good look. He’s back for the title. And to headline Wrestlemania. I’m starting to like the looks of the card they’re laying out.

The Shield are taking on Goldust, Cody Rhodes & Big E Langston. Big E starts against Dean Ambrose. Goldust dukes it out with Seth Rollins. Cody gets back in to work over Rollins. I do like that JBL is playing it right since he has invoked lawyers against baby face attacks that he’s mentioning Cena’s father not pressing charges. Roman Reigns is in control after the break. Rhodes gets out of it with a Disaster Kick. Big E takes the hot tag. Turning Big E baby face seems to have been a great idea. Reigns breaks up a pin. Then takes out Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Seth Rollins super curb stomps Big E for the win. Awesome looking move. I love Rollins. The Superman punch by Reigns on Cody is getting top billing though.

Daniel Bryan is in the ring getting the Yes! chants already. Bryan had a plan all along. He became the buzzard to chew on Bray’s carcass. Weird. What did you expose? He wants Wyatt one on one at the Rumble. Bray Wyatt shows up on the Titantron. I really loved his promo on Smackdown. Good come back material. He insinuates he may do something to Brie Bella.

Fandango is going against Xavier Woods with R Truth on the head set. Truth is calling Mitchell Cool, Mike Snow. As far as I can tell, everyone who has been on TV is in the Rumble match. Falcon Arrow leads to the top rope leg drop for the Fandango win. Emmataining is in the crowd again. Brad Maddox is talking to Kane. Stephanie is mad at Kane for attacking CM Punk. The baby face angle of the Authority continues. He has to apologize to Punk.

Kane hits the ring after the break. Punk’s insult was pretty weak for it to get under Kane’s skin. He requests Punk’s presence. CM Punk comes out after just enough hesitation. Kane offers an apology. Punk doesn’t accept. Brad Maddox cools off the situation. Punk gets a match against Billy Gunn. The Road Dogg gets on the head set. The NAO being heels is all the weirder in the baby face Authority move. Road Dogg tries to make sense of it, speaks well but doesn’t make a lick of sense. JBL saying Gunn is better than ever is hilarious since he wasn’t very good ever. Mitchell Cool pursuing the conspiracy angle is weird to because real evidence exists that the NAO should get a title bout. It’s a good one off, short lived feud for Goldust & Rhodes. Gunn does the missed splash routine. Road Dogg pulls Gunn out of the ring. Punk suicide dives onto Road Dogg. Punk nails the GTS. Kane comes out and tells Punk he’s the first entrance. Interesting.

I buzz thru the yearly numbers break down and the Mae Young tribute. I saw the later on Smackdown. Very nice video package. Rey Mysterio takes on Alberto Del Rio for the third time in seven days. Mysterio wipes both of them out withe a spring board moonsault onto the floor. Del Rio takes over. A rough looking kick to the head makes it a target.  Tilt-a-whirl back breaker only gets a two count. Enziguri to the ribs. The toss bounce Rey takes to the outside looks so rough.Del Rio is still beating up Rey. Why is Del Rio having so much trouble with an injured Rey? The announcers brought up his obsession with Batista. We have no reason to believe this clown can beat a gentleman more than twice Rey’s size. Rey nails a senton off the top rope but can’t capitalize. Mysterio turns a power bomb into a huracanrana.  Del Rio kicks Rey in the head. Rey back to the 619. Drop of the Dime but Del Rio grabs the rope. Del Rio counter Rey’s next move into the cross arm breaker for the win. How is that a statement for the Rumble, Mitchell? A cross arm breaker will do you no good in that match. Batista confronts Del Rio. Batista spine buster and Bomb. He looks good. A bit slimmer than before which isn’t a bad thing since he’s still massive.

Big Show comes out first. Paul Heyman comes out alone. I love the look on his face. Brock Lesnar‘s music hits. Lesnar walks to the ring and waves his hand and walks away from Show. Brock comes back out. He takes his sweet time getting into the ring. Brock fakes him out. Lesnar goes for take down. Show tosses him. Lesnar goes for another take down. Show tosses him out of the ring. Much smoother exit than Rey’s. I like the confrontation. Just enough action to not give anything away.

I missed Bad News Barrett congratulating AJ Lee on the longest reign by a Divas Champion ever.  Josh Matthews returns. AJ puts the the cake in Tamina Snuka‘s face. It has been the longest and maybe one of the dullest. Maryse was the former holder of that distinction. I’ll have to look up if Trish Stratus’s reigns were longer than 218. They are taking on the Funkadactyls. Why is Cameron starting the match again? She is getting her ass handed to her like last week. They give Naomi a hot tag this week. She can get the crowd into it but she hasn’t been pushed smoothly. AJ Lee skips around Naomi. Small package by Naomi. See that’s uneven too. Why not have her hit a real move before making the pin?

I buzz thru another video package break. I may not get done too late now. Thanks for letting me skip two segments WWE. The Usos are taking on Erick Rowan & Luke Harper. The Usos aren’t wearing their wraps they had on Smackdown. Jey Uso gets a tag and does a flying shoulder block. Jey & Harper trade blows.That arena sounds really empty right now. Rowan interferes to turn things into their favor. Rowan later tags in to work over Jimmy. He ends up taking a header into the barricade for the break. Jimmy is still getting worked over. Bray starts to talk to the crowd. I always thought that should be used more. Jimmy has got the serious moves. He’s the one that does Whisper in the Wind. Nailed a slick high flying move earlier. Jimmy takes out Rowan. Jey gets caught by Harper. Scoop slam for a two count. Daniel Bryan attacks Wyatt. Jey rolls up Harper for the win. They’re really making the Wyatts look dumb in all of this. Do they not really like them? I’m so confused.

Kofi Kingston gets to say he main evented a Raw against Randy Orton. Congrats on the achievement Kofi. There the very good chance that I missed the end of this show with how late this match is starting combined with John Cena not “arriving” yet makes me think it’s running long. Orton gives the You Can’t See Me wave. Kofi’s tights looks like they were designed by a child. Kofi doesn’t win with the SOS. John Cena hits the arena in his ring gear. Why did everyone walk into the arena tonight? No one rented a nice car? Cena attacks Orton. They start fighting through the crowd. Well, JBL describes it correctly that the fight is one sided on Cena’s behalf. Randy Orton had a get away car. Weird. Mitchell Cool was right to point out that it wasn’t a car jacking since the car drove when Orton got into the passenger side. He should be the one spouting the conspiracy theories though. They did end on time. Congratulations WWE! – Kevin

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