Stunt Granny Big 11- Week Ending 2/5/11

1. Sting- Well, he’s not “They,” and we’re not sure if he’s the guy from WWE’s 2/21/11 vignette, but we’re sure talking about him. -Eric

2. Chyna– She’s taking night classes at UCLA to learn how to teach English to Japanese children. I guess for her the first step is to re-learn English. -Eric

3. Kevin Nash- The big guy decides that wrestling in front of 1,000 people just doesn;t do it for him any longer. So, instead of signing with TNA to restart the Main Event Mafia, he shows up at The Royal Rumble. In doing so he became one of the biggest stories to come out of the PPV. Nothing else has been done with him so maybe it was a one-off performance but if you have the man dye his hair you gotta use him more than once. -Jeremy

4. Booker T- You could say he copied Kevin Nash and for the sake of space I won’t rehash it but now he finds himself on Smackdown as an announcer. Maybe this is what he wanted but there has to be a better use for Booker T on Smackdown. I mean have you seen the roster? -Jeremy

5. They- Bwahahahaha. TNA is hilariously poorly managed. How else can you explain booking a major angle around performers not under contract? What a great business plan. Maybe Russo and Dixie could book an entire PPV around Mr Perfect and Rick Rude? The reveal of They was just sad and makes absolutely no sense. Then again this is TNA so what the hell should we expect? AJ Styles is a face again? Beer Money? Does this mean they are all friends with Matt Morgan again? Will any of it be explained in a rational manner? Doubt it; cause I read the spoilers for next week. -Jeremy

6. Osirian Portal vs. The Runaways. These guys are… running away with the viral video of the week. They’ve… hypnotized us into falling in love with them. Whatever, I’d kill for 800,000 views on one of my band’s videos. But then again, my band’s videos need to be entertaining. -Eric

7. Alberto Del Rio – He won the Royal Rumble so he deserves a spot in our top 11. His announcement on Monday that he’d take on Edge was anti-climactic at best but it should turn out to be a good match. His celebration on Smackdown blew too. At least he’ll get a big win over Kofi at the Elimination Chamber PPV for a little more momentum to Wrestlemania. – Kevin

8. Smackdown Announce Team – After watching the show, I’m even more pumped about the composition of this announce crew. Michael Cole may just be back to being a crappy now heel announcer but he will be opposed by Booker T who got the crowd pumped. Josh Matthews is the best play by play man in sports entertainment right now so they should rock when they gel a little more. – Kevin

9. UFC 126 & Super Bowl XLV– I’m doing this Friday night. I’m pumped for the weekend. Jon “Bones” Jones versus Ryan Bader is the match I am looking forward to the most. As a life long Steelers fan, Here we go Steelers, here we go! – Kevin

10. Batista – Word going round the lemon tree is that Batista will be filming his undoubtedly shitty movie, The Man With The Iron Fist, until sometime in March. That means he will probably not be The Man With The Iron WrestleMania match, so if you hear any speculation to the contrary you can tell that person that they don’t have the facts, Jack! – Dusty

11. Ricky Ortiz – Giving me a second opportunity in as many blurbs to use the word, I always thought Ortiz was a shitty wrestler. However, he is currently serving as Scott Hall’s Kato Kaelin (oh yes, I’m nowhere near above making a 500 year old reference like that), and is hoping to sponge up some of that superior wrestling knowledge that Hall hasn’t had the chance to drink away just yet. Meltzer is reporting that Hall will be heading towards another stint in rehab this coming week. Lost in all of this hubbub is what exactly Ortiz is going to do about living arrangements. Is he going to remain in Hall’s house? Is Hall paying the rent for him? Does Ortiz now have to pick up the tab on that? Once again, Meltzer fails to get the real scoop. – Dusty

Genesis Preview (Text Edition)

Michelangelo was a hell of a painter.

I was ready to bash TNA for their shoddy build up for this pay per view in the audio context but I found an unwilling crew in the rest of my comrades. I can’t say I blame them. After watching the last half of iMPACT!, I’ve at least partially changed my mind. I still think they could have used a show last Thursday to capitalize on Hulk Hogan and everyone else showing up. TNA could have also pimped the regular time slot for iMPACT! along with building the storylines to the pay per view better. From what I saw though, they did a good job of setting up the matches and focusing on them with just this one show. On to the preview even if I’m not sure Dusty’s neighbor will get it tonight.

The Pope D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe – I can’t believe they are having this match. First, they make Wolfe lose three straight major matches after his debut in TNA finishing with his loss to the Pope on the Monday iMPACT! so to make up for that gaffe they had Wolfe beat Samoa Joe this week. Way to fuck up three of your future stars all at one time guys. It should be an entertaining match and no matter who wins, someone is getting kicked down the ladder too soon in their push. Winner – Desmond Wolfe.

Continue reading

Best of 2009- Jeremy Edition

Best Promotion:

WWE. This wasn’t nearly as easy to choose as I first thought. Monday Night raw is a diarrhea diaper. ECW is akin to your parents in the nursing home. You go see them only because you feel obligated. Then there is Smackdown; the best wrestling show in the world. So 1.5 out of 3 isn’t so bad. Not like TNA’s zero batting average for their product.

Runners up:

ROH: Cary Silkin correctly booted Gabe Sapolsky and eventually brought in Jim Cornette to “hang around: In the meantime the promotion lost talent left and right but it is still a good promotion. It found its legs after a few months of being lost but nowhere near the train wreck that comes in third.

TNA: By default they are third. I can’t consider Lucha Libre since I don’t understand Spanish and that shit looks choreographed beyond belief.

Best Injury:

Mickie James’ implant busting. Now, Mickie James is at the top of my list of women’s wrestlers I would sleep with despite the fact they may have an incurable STD. I love this injury because it gives me spank material thinking about how she would need to massage her breasts to soften up the new implant. Even if that isn’t how it works its real to me. Excuse me, be back in 3 minutes. Oh and this story may not even be true but I don’t care.

Continue reading

TNA Turning Point Preview

turning20point20logo

Alright look; TNA has a PPV on Sunday. It is called Turning Point. Supposedly it is going to show that TNA is indeed at a turning point and will start to showcase younger talent. On that note, Kevin and Jeremy did an audio preview of the PPV for your listening enjoyment. They cover the backward booking of the knockout matches. There is also a discussion on Brother Ray’s logic on how Hulk Hogan coming in to TNA means the younger guys are getting pushed. They also grind the show to a halt after Kevin unleashes Desmond Wolfe’s catchphrase. It’s worth the listen so get going.

 

Turning Point 2009 Preview

James Storm Lengthens Stay In Purgatory.

Appealing to the ladies.

Appealing to the ladies.

This news should be taken with mixed emotions; according to ProWrestling.net via Jeremy Borash’s Twitter, James Storm has reupped with TNA for an unspecified amount of time. Now, the good news is that James is going to make some more money and that is a good thing. Hell, every wrestler right now needs to make sure they have some sort of sustainable steady income so there is no begrudging the man.

This is a big win for TNA as well since they get to keep one of the only successful acts they have going right now intact for as long as they see fit. Knowing TNA though, Beer Money will break up after the next PPV, feud and then instantly regret signing with TNA.

On the other hand this sucks because WWE is in the midst of pushing new wrestlers. Look at ECW and Smackdown for evidence of this. Storm has the look of a star and he is one of the only wrestlers on the TNA roster that carries themselves like an actual star. He would have been a welcome addition to ECW in the short run but he would not have been out of place on Smackdown. Oh and no, I am not cursing anyone to a run on RAW. Hopefully he signed a short extension and after seeing if WWE makes good on their new star initiative he can get big money from them. No one should count on it but it’s worth a thought. -Jeremy

TNA Lockdown 2009 Preview

prison051707

Well as promised but a day late, Kevin and Jeremy return with their exclusive TNA Lockdown 2009 preview. The guys start the show off arguing about ODB and Cody Deanor and it nearly derails the entire show. Kevin loves it; Jeremy hates it and is totally distracted by the low rent antics of Cody. They finally get to the PPV and they both quickly realize they don’t care about the show. It doesn’t matter as the trudge through and talk about all the good matches and spend little time on the bad ones. Yeah, they prejudged it all. So give it a listen. They took the time to record it so take the time to listen.

LockDown 2009 Preview

%d bloggers like this: