Stunt Granny Audio: Royal Rumble 2012 Review

What the hell is this? No your eyes and ears do not deceive you it is an actual pay-per-view review for the 2012 Royal Rumble. Eric and Dusty provide the entertainment with their strong opinions. Boy did they hate this show! But why? What do they feel was done poorly? What would they have done differently? Does one of them give up midway through the audio to go swinging in the barn? You’ll have to listen to find out.

Stunt Granny Show- WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Review

Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Jeremy & Kevin, May 31, 2011

Jeremy: I enjoyed the show more than you I think.
Kevin: Aside from the ending. Wow, Twitter rant!
Jeremy: I need the time to write out my exact thoughts but that was a perfectly fine wrestling show. As soon as Cena comes up and boom goes the dynamite. More gimmick shit to cover the fact he can’t work.
Kevin: I still have no idea what you’re talking about. How is R-Truth resting on the outside Cena’s fault?
Jeremy: What was Cena’s last match? That shitty gimmick match with Miz. Before that? another clunker with Miz at WrestleMania. there was one in the middle. It is just one bad match after another. You can’t blame the dance partner when there is one constant.
Kevin: I can’t argue with the Miz examples but I don’t think last night can be used. Lots of gimmick stuff in there to get R Truth’s new persona over
Jeremy: But man, it is another gimmickfest that stunk the joint out and Cena is involved yet again. They could have had an actual contest and had truth still do same thing. Also that heavy handed crap with the dad at the end was good until Cena started patting the guy on the head like a dog.
Jeremy: Wait.
Jeremy: I am supporting R-Truth? Kill me now. I am done.
Kevin: Easy to support R-Truth but he isn’t exactly a wizard in the ring either.
Jeremy: Oh god no. In no way is their match going to be good. He got by at the beginning of TNA on his vocals not the in ring part.  Good to know you can shut a PPV off at 10:35 and not miss anything though.
Kevin: That’s going to be viewing for my own amusement, train wreck style
Jeremy: As long as they put The Bellas on first it will be fine. Another god damn waster.
Kevin: At least they got something to make people care about them this week. You sound more down on the show than me already. I need to re-read my column.
Jeremy: Those are my only complaints. I have hated the Bellas for a while though.
Kevin: So, you still hate them?  Or weren’t you on board with last night?
Jeremy: As soon as I saw them come out it hit me that they are using them to replace Laycool. As bad as Laycool was, The Bellas are way worse.
Kevin: Not possible, except neither of them is a good looking as either McCool or Layla.
Jeremy: It’s like they are pretending to be Laycool but they come off as nerd kids play fighting.
Kevin: Everyone in the women’s division comes off that way because they’ve taken a dump on them for 2 straight years, at least.
Jeremy: Maryse is ok, Eve got better. Natalya is one of the bad ones
Kevin: Kelly Kelly got better too but she depends on movement in her matches to cover up for her lack of strength.
Jeremy: Yeah using her hair especially.
Kevin: And again, you’re going bananas about last night and I still can’t remember what I said negative about the show.
Jeremy: Think I liked Dolph/Kofi better.
Kevin: Wow, one match that wasn’t nearly a major angle like the Bellas or Cena/Truth. And it was probably because Dolph’s hair is dyed.
Jeremy: Kofi is sloppy but for some reason it worked last night. The action seemed genuine.
Kevin Difrango: I was getting into the post commercial break until that botched sequence. Match was good for the 2nd half, Outside of that part. I blew the Punk/Rey match.
Jeremy: Yeah those guys need to go again for longer. No stips other than one guy beating the other but that is a fanboy thing.
Kevin: I liked the Kharma segment.
Jeremy: Yes I enjoyed it very much. At first I was a little worried then she killed. She was on point, her voice is stronger than I expected, she still looked like a badass by the end as well as building anticipation for the next go around, which I hope happens.
Kevin: Yeah, they’d be dumb not to keep her even if she killed a massive push. And they’d have time to make the women’s division respectable while she’s gone.
Jeremy: Key issue is making the divas respectable. Eve would be fine; she has a nice muscular build that makes her look a threat. Beth of course. Tamina I suppose.
Kevin: That’s why I noted the women’s division getting a minor push this week. Not sure the last time they got 2 segments on Raw. Those 3 are the logical size-wise opponents for Kharma. Along with Twin Magic since it’s 2 of them.
Jeremy: Yeah and if they bump like crazy for her it would work.
Kevin: I still don’t have a lot of faith in them.
Jeremy: Nor should you/we.

Stunt Granny Big 11- Week Ending 1/29/11

1. Daniel Bryan & Gail Kim – Did the Bella’s storyline do anything for Daniel Bryan? Yes it did. It kept him on TV even with the dead weight that is the U.S. Championship. Gail Kim got to say everything everyone on the internet thinks about the Bella twins. They could make a fun wrestling tandem. Too bad their obvious opposition, Ted DiBiase & Maryse are less important than Darren Young. – Kevin

2. Jake Roberts –  “The Snake” slithered (eh? eh?) his way back into the news this week by promoting his “retirement match” against Sinn Bodhi at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s Kurt Russellution as part of WrestleReunion 5 in Los Angeles this Saturday, as well as by telling In Your Head Radio that he had part of his foot removed. A) “Retirement match” my once-fat ass, this coke hound will come out of hiding with the first offer of a bump and a bundle of ones for the strip club. B) Him saying part of his foot was removed is as believable as any bum who claims “someone stole my kidney and left me in a tub of ice water, now let me borrow some change, man!” – Eric

3. Kurt Angle – His hot fiancee (I don’t think they’re married yet, sinners) had Angle’s baby one month premature, causing Angle to head home to make sure mommy and baby were OK. This is the first responsible thing Angle has done since helping a black woman across the street in 2004 and not asking her to have sex with him. – Eric

4. Ric Flair – Some will find this sad, as apparently dome TNA wrestlers do but others will and should find the news of him blowing through his money, awesome. Yep, Ric Flair, he of the now shuddered Ric Flair Finance, got in a tiff with TNA management on not getting a payout while in the middle of their European tour. Then TNA wrestlers have come out saying they find it sad when he can’t pay the bill due to his financial woes. There is nothing sad about it. Flair is drinking for free while those dummies foot the bill. Congrats enablers. -Jeremy

5. Royal Rumble – Can you remember a year where this has been so poorly hyped? There is no clear cut winner to build around and boy does the field of forty look a little thin. The title matches took a back seat to free television matches. The under card itself has three championship matches but one of them is a divas match and those don’t count. Regardless this is still getting ordered and enjoyed, hopefully. – Jeremy

6. Scott Hall – Because we can’t have enough drug addicts in our list. Hall told the Miami Herald this week that he plans to go back to rehab in Houston, Texas, his (I believe) ninth stint in a facility like this. Well, of course he’s going back, that’s how you meet people with all the good drugs! It’s like a bum who breaks a law just so he can spend the night in jail and get a warm bed and a decent meal. – Eric

7. Shane Helms – I think we can all breath a sigh of relief that this idiot is heading to Lucha Libre USA instead of TNA. It spares us from seeing 2 hicks with beer guts and 2 tattooed high spot monkeys trying to pass themselves off as the newest rip off of the 4 Horseman. – Kevin

8. Shawn Osborne & Stacy Carter – Osborne, who had been under WWE developmental contract in 2006 working in OVW, committed suicide recently. The kicker to this is that Stacy Carter, who is already on my bad side because I always want to type “Dixie Carter” when I’m referring to her and *nobody* wants to talk about Dixie Carter, went ahead and posted his suicide note on her Facebook page. Pretty sure if he had wanted it made public, he would have gone ahead and done that himself, but who I am to tell a negative IQ’d cumbasket what to do? – Dusty

9. Vince Russo – So it was Vince Russo’s 50th birthday this past week. We here at Stunt Granny hope for another 50 years of terrible booking, cheating on your wife, hiding behind your fake religion and general cowardly nonsense. Here’s to ya, Vinny Ru! – Dusty

10. New Best Match Ever – It’s this:

Dusty

11. Wrestling Roundtable – Just, here:

If you want to listen to total nonsense, you should just listen to Stunt Granny audios. – Dusty

WrestleMania Preview #8- Tag Team Unification Match Miz & Morrison vs The Colons

morrison_and_the_mizYes gang we are two matches away from wrapping up WrestleMania 25 and why not cover some tag team action? Kevin and Jeremy talk the title unification match and why they waited until now to talk about it. There is a slight problem though, Jeremy decided to down some Sudafed in the hopes of thwarting off the advances of a cold. He mumbles and stumbles but sort of makes his point clear. All the while, Kevin laughs at hm and saves the proceddings. So, we think it is good but you’ll need to download it to find out.

The Miz andm Morrison vs The Colons

Past WrestleMania Preview Audios

25 Diva Battle Royal
Rey vs JBL
MITB Ladder Match
Jericho vs. The Legends
Battle of The Hardys

Triple H vs. Randy Orton

Big Show/John Cena/Edge Triple Threat

Top 5 Worst WrestleMania’s

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