Matt Hardy (or Matthew, or Matt Brand, or V1, who cares) leaves YouTube suicide note

In an effort to disprove the six-year-old theory that “Matt Hardy will not die,” Matt Hardy posted what appears to be a suicide note on YouTube. It reads:

Dear Hostess: How dare you discontinue Chocodiles…

Oh, no, wrong one. Here it is:

Goodbye, World… My time here is Almost complete… I only have a few hours & minutes… I loved you all… Regardless of how you felt about me… I’ll miss you all… September 23, 1974 – August 31, 2011.

Well, it just goes to show you that bullying works, and if you make fun of someone long enough, they’ll go away.

Wait, what? “Suicide” means he’s gonna kill himself?! Oh… hold on…

Hey, Bob Holly, nice bald spot, ya prick. -Eric

DUSTY EDIT: But wait, there’s more!

Jeff Hardy’s Wife Pissed Over Matt Hardy Hoax

Last Updated on Tuesday, 30 August 2011 11:50 Written by Ryan Clark Tuesday, 30 August 2011 11:50

An apparent suicide note Matt Hardy released this evening via YouTube has been confirmed as a hoax.

Jeff Hardy’s wife, Beth Britt, is steamed with Matt’s latest attempt ‘to work the Internet’ as police showed up to her North Carolina residence this evening on a suicide call.

She angrily wrote on her Twitter account, “When the cops show up to our house at 11 pm, for a “suicide call” the fucking joke is over @MATTHARDYBRAND. Stop trying to work the Internet.”

A fan wrote to Britt, “Who the hell calls 911 and sends them to the wrong f’n house?” She responded, “Apparently someone that believed the stupid video.”

She then wrote, “I guess you got what you wanted @MATTHARDYBRAND. Everyone is talking about you, again. But it’s not in a good way.”

Apparently Hardy feels suicide is a joking matter. Again, we appreciate all your concerns and calls regarding the video and tweets. Something like that needs to be taken seriously. It’s better to at least check and be safe rather than have it be to late.

Jeff Hardy marries girlfriend, celebrates by running circles in back yard

Nice nails... um... one of you.

Keeping this one short: According to Prowrestling.net, Jeff Hardy married his girlfriend Beth, I guess some time in the last week. So his life has gone in this order: Born, trampolines, pay no dues, WWF contract, drugs… TNA contract, way more drugs… WWE contract, father, house burns down, drugs… TNA contract, drugs, marriage, court date pending. Jeremy, you’re from the Carolinas now, does that sound about right? -Eric

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