Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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I think the only reason I mention I don’t have an introduction is because I enjoy writing them. I’m not sure anyone cares. So let’s just get to this review.

Evolution comes out first. HHH says this won’t end until the Shield no longer exists. Batista has the brains to ask for his title shot. HHH calls Batista a choker. Ha. HHH tries to sell his plan of beating the Shield. Batista understands the plan and quits. HHH tells Batista that he’s finished for reals. Yeah, like anyone can sell that in wrestling. Not much of an introduction segment either. Short and sweet.

Batista is done with the empty promises. I don’t blame him. Sheamus & RVD are set to take on Cesaro and Bad News Barrett. The latest gets an in set promo and assures us no Five Star Frog Splash tonight and a Bull Hammer Elbow for RVD. Paul Heyman joins us on commentary. Heyman reminds us of the cheapness of last night’s small package win. Cesaro and Sheamus square off while this goes on. RVD ends up pairing off with Barrett. Bad News takes over before the break. Heyman continues to harp on the style of win. Heyman turning heel tactics on it’s ear. Barrett & Cesaro take turns beating RVD down. Cesaro takes a cheap shot at Sheamus on the apron. It gives RVD an opening. Barrett gets to be the beaten. Cesaro dodges a Brogue Kick and ducks out of the ring. They leave ring side. Winds of Change by Barrett. Brogue Kick followed by a Five Star for the win. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news, Barrett will not be the next Paul Heyman guy.

Damien Sandow comes out as “Lance Stephenson.” Sandow goes for the easy trolling jokes. He gives us a display of his “skills.” Big Show appears “from nowhere.” He’s looking slim. The fact that Sandow could deliver the “mad skills” line without cracking a smile is awesome. Lana can’t do that. Sandow gets WMDed.

Kane beating up Kofi Kingston was forgotten by yours truly as soon as it happened. Kingston is in the ring to take on Bo Dallas again. The Heat Bo-Lieved. The WWE never beats a joke into the ground. Surprising to hear that in back to back segments. Kofi kicks Bo out of the ring. Swinging neck breaker by Bo. Dallas hits a trifecta of knees. If the small part of the crowd is chanting “Bo-ring”, that’s kind of funny. A cross body by Kingston gets a two count. Dallas drops Kingston neck first over the top rope. Running Bo-dog for the win. This cracks me up. I’m not sure it’s translating though. Renee Young asks Stephanie McMahon about Batista. She tells us what’s in tune for the 9 PM segment.

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

Stephanie tries to sell the angle more. She tries to sell her great leadership skills. She does know how to get the crowd to chant “Yes!” She makes a match at Money In The Bank, Daniel Bryan against Kane in a stretcher match. If Bryan can’t fight, it will be determined in the MITB match. I’m jealous of Chicago for the awesome John Cena matches they have gotten. CM Punk from a few years ago and last night. Stephanie jumps on Cena’s point about a fighting champion. Cena fires back and talks up Bryan. Stephanie making valid points to counter Cena. He stays on point and pushes home her embarrassing track record with Daniel Bryan. Steph makes a match with Kane and Cena. She confirms that she is a bitch. Man, really good stuff from both sides.

Kane is beating up Cena when we come back from commercial. I would imagine that Bryan will be recovered by then. I would imagine the fights to get into the match will be good. Cena rallies like normal. Cena actually sells being tired from last night. Kane fights out of an AA. Kane knees Cena into the corner. Cena wins by DQ. Kane tosses Cena into the steps, which he is the champ of selling. He even got the lower part this time. Even better than his normal standard. Kane sets up for a Tombstone but Cena slips out. Cena pushes him into the post. Cena then tosses the top of the stairs at Kane. Renee Young talks to Randy Orton. Batista took his ball and went home. He has a match against Roman Reigns tonight.

Los Matadores have El Torito with them. 3MB comes out. Heath Slater brings out Hornswoggle with an afro. The little people will finally not be involved in this feud. Drew McIntyre is with Slater. Heath hit a leg lariat and celebrates. El Torito removes the wig. Why didn’t he finish shaving his head? Slater is distracted. One of the Matadores rolls up Slater for the win. El Torito dances with the afro.

Nikki Bella is put in a handicapped match against Aksana & Alicia Fox. JBL has to explain in a very wordy way that Mitchell Cool is right about Stephanie being vindictive but Cool doesn’t brag about it. I’m confused. Alicia Fox picks up the win. Fox picks up Nikki & tosses her out of the ring. Aksana puts the boots to Nikki more. Fox gives her a back breaker. Shouldn’t a Total Diva make a save? Maybe the Divas Champ Paige who was just feuding with Fox? Luke Harper tells us the Usos will pay for their actions. The flock will suffer for the Usos misdeeds. Follow the Buzzards.

Zeb Colter gets to complain about Adam Rose more. It looks the crowd may be getting a hold of this guy. Jack Swagger keeps getting his ass slapped. Reverse running elbow by Rose. Swagger gives Rose a boot to the face. Swgger wears down Rose. Rose fires back with punches. Swinging neck breaker to Swagger. Cannonball in the corner. Cravat DDT for the win. Byron Saxton gets to talk to the Usos. They’re going to handle their business tonight. I love their enthusiasm.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan are in the ring with no Bray Wyatt at ring side. Rowan starts against Jimmy. Rowan gets the better of the injured Uso. Harper makes his first appearance. Jimmy gets in a leg lariat and tags in Jey. Rowan ends up taking over on Jey. He tries to slam Rowan but falls over. They tag in and out beating on Jey. Rowan lets him tag in Jimmy. He drop kicks Rowan thru the ropes. Harper gets punched outside. Break. Harper is in control after the break. Rowan is the screw up again when he runs into the ring post with his shoulder. Whisper in the Wind by Jimmy. Jey & Harper come in. Harper takes his eye off the prize by looking at the chair. Jey unloads on him but Harper doesn’t stay down. Jey takes Rowan on the outside. Harper hits a suicide dive. Jimmy connects with the over the top rope dive. Harper raises the knees on a Superfly Splash attempt. Harper goes for the clothesline but gets super kicked. Rowan secret tags but it doesn’t pay off. Rowan gives Jey a modified urinogi for the win. He gets the win after playing fool in the match. (Next Day Note: I’d laugh at my own writing if I didn’t know Rowan got assaulted when he came in but then quickly got the pin.)

Dolph Ziggler takes on Alberto Del Rio in a match that will determine someone’s chance of still having a career in the WWE. Ziggler drops the consecutive elbows. Del Rio goes to work on the arm. Del Rio goes for a cover after a belly to back suplex. Really. Ziggler tilt a whirls out of Del Rio’s grasp and drop kicks him. Ziggler gets shots in the kidneys. Famous Asser by Ziggler for two. Tilt a whirl back breaker only gets Del Rio two. Super face buster by Ziggler after ADR takes his time going up. After countering some moves, ADR slaps on the cross arm breaker for the win. Don’t answer the phone Dolph. (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t think either of these guys have a chance at the briefcase anyway.)

Rybaxel is in the ring waiting for Goldust and his new partner chosen by Cody Rhodes. It’s Sin Cara. I wouldn’t mind Goldust teaming with younger guys to help them out. Curtis Axel starts the match with Goldust. Sin Cara & Ryback are in quickly. JBL’s hunch back joke dies with silence. Ryback knocks Goldust out of the ring. Axel powers Goldust into the barricade. They tag in and out to wear down Goldie. JBL is doing a good job of selling on Cody recovering his form though. Sin Cara gets to be the hot tag. Ryback saves the match. Sin Cara kicks Axel in the face. Sin Cara misses the Swanton. Was that a neck breaker into a face first DDT? Whatever it was, it won the match for Axel. (Next Day Note: I don’t know where this story line with the Rhodes brothers is going, which is normally a good thing. I just don’t really care about either of these two so the mystery is just there.)

Lana comes out and is getting the “USA” chants. Alexander Rusev is being recognized by the Russian Federation. “USA!” They give him a medal. Rusev speaks in Bulgarian. Long live the Super Athlete. Where’s Nikolai Volkoff when you need him?

Dean Ambrose starts yapping at 11:00. Why do I get the feeling this could go over the 10 minute mark? Seth Rollins points out that Evolution didn’t adapt. Why is it just dawning on me that this could be an angle? Roman Reigns talks about being brothers. He wants Randy Orton. HHH comes out with him bearing a sledge hammer. Rollins nails Reigns with the chair. (Next Day Note: I wasn’t surprised that this turn was still trending in the AM. Every time I saw anything about a turn, it was Reigns. The turn doesn’t make much sense though unless Rollins believes HHH won’t stop until The Shield is done.) He then takes out Ambrose. I didn’t see this coming. Curb Stomp onto a chair on Ambrose. Orton goes to work on Reigns. The new trio celebrates over the fallen and broken Shield. The WWE has surprised me more this year than any year in a long time. – Kevin

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Wrestlemania XXX: Live Version

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Since we attended Wrestlemania XXX, it was a little tough to do an “Almost Live” review so I posted after each match some thoughts over on our Facebook page. Just to get something up, I’ll expand on these points.

Very good opening match. No idea why it was on the pre-show other than time constraints.

We had no idea why this match got bumped to the pre-show but it’s pretty obvious that the segment after this bumped this match down a notch. The match itself was a lot of fun. The Usos weren’t going to lose considering how recently they won the tag titles. It was good to see Cesaro and Jack Swagger break up but it is a little weird that Cesaro is probably the “We the People” guy now despite the fact that Zeb Colter stuck with Swagger after the post match dust up.

I’m pretty sure my voice will be shot by the end of the night.

We all knew that Hulk Hogan was hosting Wrestlemania at the Silver Dome, brother. I had also seen reports that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was in town. I had no idea that “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was in town so I certainly pooped for him the most. It also helps that between the three, he’s my favorite. What a fun moment it was to see the three biggest stars of the WWF/E in the ring to kick off the big show. Having Hogan stumble over the name of the place is hilarious. R Truth was probably celebrating in the back since he is officially off the hook as the last boob to forget where he was.

Good match, won’t be surprised if people thought the pacing was slow. Good reversals.

We saw the stage hands setting up HHH’s entrance as the above segment was going on so we knew HHH vs Daniel Bryan was coming first. I did like HHH’s entrance set up. He has been know to over do it but the slave girls taking off the cape and him removing his helm had a cool look to it. I would be interested to know the last time that HHH wrestled this early on the card. Even though we couldn’t hear the announcers, it was obvious they were selling Bryan as still injured from his attack since he had a wrap on his left shoulder. I was surprised that Stephanie didn’t play a larger role in the match though she did act great at ring side. The match was paced well to me but as noted, I wouldn’t be surprised if people complained about it. A lot of mat wrestling and reversals so it wasn’t as high paced as most matches are now. HHH is not the new variety of athlete. After Daniel Bryan won, he was still popular.

Hands in the air who think the opening segment went long & caused the Shield match to be that short?

Considering that the New Age Outlaws haven’t been a hit in the ring since their return and Kane has barely wrestled since turning in to Corporate Kane, I’m not exactly arguing with the beat down they received from the Shield but I did want to see Ambrose (I’m enjoying his character more again), Reigns and Rollins in the ring more. Oh well, no big loss. It’s their yard for the future. Now will they break up soon like the Real Americans?

My voice is definitely shot after Cesaro winning the Battle Royal.

Battle Royals suck to start with but when they only announce Sheamus & Big Show, you have no idea who all is in the ring. Considering they had “mystery participants” we figured they’d be announced but they weren’t. When you’re seated in a solid but still far away location, they suck even more. It did provide for a “Holy Shit” moment when Cesaro picked up Big Show and made him the last elimination. I popped big time as I was hoping they wouldn’t do the Andre – Big Show comparison for the first win. Cesaro taking the pin in the first match was a small price to pay for the big win. My voice and Jeremy’s are both shot so an audio post Wrestlemania wasn’t happening.

Is that Sister Abigail? and Not a fan of the outcome even if that’s what I thought would happen.

These comments were obviously in regards to the John Cena vs Bray Wyatt match. It was a night for victories for the young guys but not in this match. Granted, there’s some obvious differences to me. Bray Wyatt hasn’t been around quite a year. John Cena has more mileage left than Big Show, Kane, NAO and HHH. Wyatt can bounce back and has plenty of time to do so. The story of this match also didn’t seem to fit the action in the ring either. The temptation of Jesus, I mean John Cena, didn’t seem to be in the story telling leading up to the match. This match needed more context and you don’t get that live.  I did dig Wyatt’s entrance or else I wouldn’t have talked about “Sister Abigail.”

To say that was unexpected is an understatement. 21-1.

Brock Lesnar provided the biggest shock of the night against the Undertaker. I still don’t fully understand why this decision was made. Lesnar didn’t need the credibility. Jeremy made a good point that no matter who broke the streak, they were going to be hated. The WWE has done their best to make the Beast hated but it has failed. Part of the problem may be the mostly split crowds no matter what the match up. We heard enough HHH chants during the opener, I was openly saying “Let’s go Cena and Cena sucks” and there were Brock fans. This is the best they could do to bring out hate for someone. I still believe that Taker okay-ed it so maybe there’s something in store for tonight. Maybe a retirement for the Undertaker. Brock now going after the WWE Title. Both are possibilities. Jeremy & I cheered when the ref counted three. I’m geeked that I saw history. 21-1.

This might be the first time I’ve said this, but I feel bad for the Divas.

As our good friend Shahid Abdul-Hadi said “first and last time” that I’ll say anything like that. The Divas have been stuck in this spot for a couple of years now. They know they’re the rest match between the two main events. To make matters worse, people were pissed or still in shock from the Undertaker’s loss. I thought it was a creative loss for Naomi who wasn’t going to have her big win for the Divas Title in a fourteen woman match. AJ Lee gets some heat for cheating which should help their feud unless the WWE feels the need to include all of the Total Divas in matches going forward.

 That was an expected ending. Let’s see how the #YesMovement continues.

Daniel Bryan, by far, got the biggest response of the night. Batista and Randy Orton were just window dressing but they provided plenty of good action. I was disappointed that HHH & Stephanie felt compelled to inject themselves into this match but it was a quick and painless dispatching by Bryan helped to minimize that damage. Their appearance does make sense from a story line perspective though. In a night without any NO DQ or similar stipulation matches, this one provided the “Holy Shit!” action moment of the night with the Batista Bomb into the RKO on the tables which Orton paid for when his back landed square on a monitor. The stretcher moment amped the drama but I wasn’t that big of a fan of it. Let him take an Edge Coffee Break (tm, not really) and have the two former members of Evolution duke it out in the ring. Even though Bryan did get the largest response, I feel like his momentum is starting to slow down a little bit which is inevitable for anyone. It’ll be interesting to see where they take him. Orton can complain about not being pinned. Lesnar wanted a title shot at Wrestlemania. Two choices from my perspective. I guess I’ll find out what it is when we head to Raw in about an hour. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

AJ LeeCM Punk’s music greets us but Paul Heyman answers the music. After sitting down Indian style, he gives much hype to Punk. Heyman’s pipe bomb is that Punk is not there tonight. Heyman blames everyone in the audience for Punk not being there. Heyman also blames the Undertaker for starting the downward spiral. Nice. And he turns it into the Brock Lesnar introduction. Heyman is smooth. We get a recap of last week. Lesnar thinks Undertaker is scared of him. Short and sweet out of him. Too bad his voice cracked. Mark Henry is still pissed at Lesnar. It doesn’t do him much good. Lesnar cracks him with the stairs. No one has monitors for the rest of the show. F-5 through the announcer’s table. Henry needs to put up more of a fight.

The New Age Outlaws come out. Road Dogg doesn’t think Chicago is worth their catch phrases. Hey, you’re acting like heels! Congratulations on filling your role. The Usos are taking them on again. Jey starts against Road Dogg. “There’s so many tag teams in the WWE.” Except that the Prime Time Players broke up and the Real Americans are going to sooner rather than later. Jey is taking the beating from the Outlaws. Jimmy gets the hot tag against Gunn. Road Dogg gets the running ass while Gunn gets the flying ass (Whisper in the Wind) A tilt a whirl slam only gets two for Gunn. Flying Uso tag. Super kick followed by the top rope splash for the victory. The Usos get the tag titles two weeks too late. Congrats to those guys for working their asses off.

Big E Langston is taking on Cesaro again. Cesaro showing off the strength early. Belly to belly by Big E. Cesaro dodges Langston. Big Swing. Swagger comes in and Swagger bombs Langston for the disqualification. Big Ending. That’s heelish.

The Wyatts vs the Shield starts pretty early. Seth Rollins starts off against Luke Harper. Rollins does back to back flips. Wow. Ambrose attacks Wyatt which pushes Rollins off the top rope. Harper takes control at the break. Ambrose goes loose cannon. Reigns tries to catch him. Rollins can’t make the tag with them gone. Rollins finally gets out and tags in Ambrose. He locks in a figure four on Erick Rowan. Harper double stomps Ambrose to break it up. Bray tosses down Ambrose. Harper continues the beat down on Ambrose. Dean is impervious to the knuckle head move. Sidewalk slam by Rowan only gets a two. Ambrose sling shot clothes lines Harper. Wyatt attacks Reigns. Ambrose DDTs Wyatt. Rollins leaves after the attempted tag. Reigns goes bananas on the Wyatts. Reigns drop kicks Harper in the face. Reigns tackles Rowan over the new announce desk. Harper suicide dives onto Reigns who tumbles over the table. Sister Abigail’s Kiss on Ambrose. We need answers about Rollins! Renee Young introduces Batista. The Yes Movement is the dumbest thing ever. We’re going to have to deal with Dave being better.

Santino Marella & Emma are taking on Fandango & Summer Rae. Oh, they’re tagging each other. It’s so funny. Fandango finally mans up and drops Santino from behind. Fandango rolls through on the top rope leg drop. Santino cracks Fandango. The ladies come in. Emm busts out the tarantula. Emma Lock for the tap out win.

Sheamus is taking on Christian, who needs some type of win here even if it’s a cheating variety. I get a weird commercial break at the start of the match. Did everyone have a problem with their feed? Skinny Frog by Christian gets a two count. White Noise only gets a two count. This match really jumped up a notch during the break. Leverage kick. Christian goes for Sheamus who Brogue Kicks him from the apron. Sheamus wins. Not that Christian is going to be a big player but that kills him in the main event. I used to love Scooby Doo. I’m going to have some Scooby snacks to feel better.

Christian attacks Sheamus backstage. He nails him with a light in the stomach. Interesting. The Bellas are taking on Aksana & Alicia Fox. Aksana takes some offense. Fox takes over on a downed Brie. She takes a rough looking flat back while being tossed like a pinyata. Nikki gets the hot tag. Face breaker gets her in Nikki Mode. Aksana breaks up a pin. Missile drop kick by Brie on Aksana. Nikki gives Fox the Shock Treatment for the win. No one really cares.

Daniel Bryan isn’t going to leave the ring until he gets an answer from HHH. Steph & him do the weird lovely dovey thing while going heel. Steph pipes up. Bryan builds his case to wrestle HHH. Trips wants to make it the “Excuse Era”. If they failed here, they weren’t good enough. A B+ player won’t get HHH to lace up his boots. The crowd can see thru the Authority’s lies. Steph talks down to him and the crowd. Smarm is so good on her.  They made him. Ha. Bryan asks for a match against Steph. HHH tells Bryan it was cheap bait. He’s got to beat Batista tonight after this display, correct? Or be screwed out of a victory by Kane, HHH or both. Bryan takes out Kane. He then slowly leaves ring side.

It has just dawned on me that Raw has not fully taped. I hope the show comes on the WWE Network nowish. Dolph Ziggler comes out with the Need For Speed dude. He is taking on Alberto Del Rio. Tilt a Whirl back breaker by Del Rio. Ziggler spikes Del Rio with a DDT. Del Rio gets distracted by the actor. Zig Zag for the win.

Paul Bearer gets a spot in the Hall of Fame. Nice addition even if it’s a tad late. Big E Langston takes on Jack Swagger. Double duty for Langston. Cesaro gives Langston the Neutralizer for the DQ win. Swagger pushes Cesaro. Zeb Colter talks down Cesaro from giving Swagger the Big Swing. Cesaro pulls up Swagger. Colter wants them to hug it out. They do it but don’t look like they enjoy it.  “We The People” as they stare at each other. Zeb can solve world problems, except it’s clear as day that he solved nothing.

My DVR cut the show when John Cena was speaking. The WWE Network only has Raw from January 19th. Fudge. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

frozen-beerSo I didn’t end up getting a new refrigerator until Saturday. I tried to get the old fridge repaired but when that failed, I had to go for the new one. After checking out the appropriate outlet stores, I made a purchase. The delivery came two hours late. Oh The humanity! Ha ha ha. The fridge has been restocked. I’m just glad my beers have finally unfrozen. Luckily none of them got to the state of the beer above. Time to watch some wrestling. Let’s roll.

Betty White and Big Show lead off the show. She’s going to kick ass tonight. (Next Day Note: No one is shocked she didn’t.) HHH then big foots her. How dare he! Doesn’t he know who she is? (Please note the heavy dose of sarcasm.) Before Steph can say anything, Randy Orton comes down. She gets to bring the condescension. Orton apologizes to them. It’s coming from his heart. Ha. Orton wants more TV time on other shows. Daniel Bryan comes out. Steph lays down the law. Bryan wants a match with Kane. He insults Steph & HHH. Randy Orton gives their rebuttal. HHH gives Bryan a rest. He’s getting a well deserved day off. Ha. I agree with JBL. It’s good to give your stars a rest.

Rey Mysterio is teaming with Cody Rhodes & Goldust against the Wyatt Family. Good win for Bray Wyatt on Smackdown. That’s the kind of credibility that would have helped me believe his win against Daniel Bryan. Erick Rowan starts against Rhodes. Goldust gets a quick tag. Luke Harper takes over. I love that Rey Mysterio sliding spot. It’s ridiculous. Goldust is still being beat down after the break. Bray Wyatt comes to continue the offense. Goldust power slams Harper to get Rey into the match. 619 to Harper. Wyatt pulls Rey from a spring board attempt. Rey goes for a 2nd 619 when Bray Wyatt makes a blind tag, I guess? Wyatt turns the run into a Sister Abigail. Kind of cool. Follow the buzzards.

The Shield gets the recap video. Renee Young gets to interview them. She starts with questioning Roman Reigns. Seth Rollins gets a short talk. Dean Ambrose gets questioned about defending the US title. After Reigns questions his manhood, Ambrose makes an open challenge. Vickie Guerrero, The Bellas and Natalya get their time with Betty White get their time until the Road Dogg & Billy Gunn take her away.

Fandango is in the ring with Summer Rae to start us off. He’s taking on Santino Marella with Emma. It seems like a good way to introduce her character which seemed weird to start with. Keeps Santino fresh with someone new to play off. The Miz complains on the head sets again. He’s like Bad News Barrett except slightly different. The circus surrounding the match made me forget one was going on. Fandango with the top rope leg drop for the win. Byron Saxton is back? Why? More faces for the WWE Network? Sheamus points out the obvious that he can still main event Wrestlemania if he wins the Elimination Chamber. Fair enough promo.

Christian is Sheamus’s partner against the Real Americans. They snuck back into the WWE. Antonio Cesaro finally gets some mic time. He’s going to be the WWE Champion. Not much of a promo. Zeb Colter makes Jack Swagger wait on the apron to start the match. Swagger gets an early tag anyway. Christian gets in enough offense to get Sheamus in. I dig the fighting between Cesaro & Sheamus. Cesaro tosses Sheamus outside. Swagger drags down Sheamus. Cesaro takes advantage. We get a break. They’re still going at it. Christian gets the hot tag. Cesaro ends the streak with a super upper cut. Swagger gator rolls him. Swagger bomb followed by the double stomp. Big Swing tosses Christian outside the ring. Christian barely beats the count. Quick pin doesn’t work. Sheamus gets the real hot tag. Swagger is on the end of the ass kicking. No surprise given the present story line. Cesaro makes the save for Swagger. Jack turns the distraction into a Patriot Lock. Christian makes the save. Brogue Kick. Sheamus brings Christian back in to celebrate. John Cena gets Renee Young’s second interview. He’s going to beat Randy Orton in the middle of the ring. Everyone needs to go through him to get to the WWE Championship.

My Avery Brewing Company Karma is quite cold. And tasty. #SippyTimeBeer. I buzz through the Batista bomb Youtube clips and the entrances of both Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio. Ziggler gets to show off early in the match. Fame Asser only gets a two count. Thrust kick to the head ends the match in short order. Wow Dolph, you are out. Cross arm breaker on Ziggler after the match brings out Batista in ring gear. Spear. The Animal tosses Del Rio into the barricade. Batista Bomb thru the announce table.

HHH runs into Batista. HHH wants Batista to keep it in the ring. HHH gives him a match against Del Rio at Elimination Chamber. The third Hall of Fame entrant is Lita. Cool. The New Age Outlaws are still hanging out with Betty White. They’re having tea. She does the cup switch-a-roo. I’m in stitches. (Sarcasm alert.)

The New Age Outlaws are now at ring side. The Usos come out. They are taking on Curtis Axel & Ryback. The Usos are on the attack early. Billy Gunn still gets to play dumb. Woof. The Goldberg chant makes no sense at this point. I’ve been paying more attention to the ramblings of Road Dogg. Jimmy flies over the top ropes and takes out Ryback so that Jey can splash Curtis Axel for the win. Slick finish. Gunn pretends he has to poop. Oh, she put something in it. Even funnier. (You get it by now, right?)

Dean Ambrose is in the ring when Mark Henry answers his challenge. Rollins & Reigns get out of the ring for formal introductions. Ambrose acts defiant. He has to deal with Henry’s power to start. He tries to take advantage of the elbow injury but it doesn’t work. Ambrose got tossed into a ring post. Ambrose takes off his brace. Henry tosses Ambrose outside with his good arm. Break. Ambrose is still working over Henry’s elbow. Ambrose goes for his finisher. Henry pushes him off and gives him a World’s Strongest Slam on the rebound. Seth Rollins interferes to get a DQ. Reigns spears Henry to put him out of the picture. The Wyatts are here. The Shield comes back over the barrier. The Wyatts come closer. The Shield step up to the apron. The Wyatts reply. Then they back out like the heels should do. Bray is saying “Make your move” as he holds his arms out.

My ring time will be "Girl Bye" when Naomi gets back. From zimbio.com

My ring time will be “Girl Bye” when Naomi gets back. From zimbio.com

Bobo Brazil gets the tribute for Black History Month. Ernie Ladd inducted into the WWF Hall of Fame. Brie & Nikki Bella are teaming with Cameron. Nikki starts against AJ Lee. Mitchell Cool acknowledges Naomi’s eye socket injury. I remember the initial reports but never remembered seeing a recovery time frame. Middle rope drop kick gets two for Brie. Aksana is kneeing Brie’s back. She didn’t mess up her spine. Alicia Fox gets her time in the ring. Mitchell Cool says “She’s improved, hasn’t she?” as Cameron botches a move. JBL seconds the point. Woof. DDT on Aksana for the Cameron win. Wow. She’s a complete train wreck that deserves to be a reality show like Total Divas. She’s awful in the ring.

Alexander Rusev is impressive. At least they’ve thrown things off by making him from Bulgaria instead of Russia. Kane comes down to the ring. Kane starts to apologize when Daniel Bryan hits the ring. Bryan drop kicks him over the barrier.

They get Betty White on TV one last time to say she was on. John Cena takes on Randy Orton start with 25 minutes left on my DVR. They start off slow, tipping off to me that they’ll use most of that time. Cena starts a slugging come back shortly after the break. He misses a flying shoulder tackle. Orton lets Cena get back up to the apron. Suplex on the way into the ring. Vicious looking DDT by Orton only gets a  two count. Garvin Stomp. Cena makes the full come back. Five Knuckle Shuffle. Orton back breaker out of the AA. Cena back drops Orton out of the ring. Orton power slam but Orton show boats long enough to cost himself. Tower DDT from the top rope. Orton yells at the crowd. Cena turns an RKO into an STF.  Orton gets to the ropes. Orton backs up to go for the punt. Cena  goes for the AA. RKO by Orton. Cena kicks out. AA but Orton kicks out. I’m thinking this is better than their match at the Rumble. Orton fights out of a Top Rope AA. Cena leg drop to the back of the head. Another AA for the win. Fun stuff. Nothing after it either. Cool. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #RoyalRumble

game_thrones_khaleesiI caught the beginning of the New Age Outlaws eventual win over Cody Rhodes & Goldust but not the actual victory so I’ll post those thoughts after I actually watch the match. (Next Day Note: I got the chance to watch this one this morning. It was a solid match. It’s still mildly confusing that the WWE puts people, in this instance the New Age Outlawas, in a heel spot while the crowd cheers them. I also don’t like that the bevy of young teams get to sit back and watch this go on. I enjoy the NAO when they come out from time to time but I don’t want to see them on the regular. I will until Wrestlemania at least though.)

The Royal Rumble itself starts with Daniel Bryan taking on Bray Wyatt. I also haven’t done the best of watching this one either. Although as Daniel Bryan gets momentum, it’s a little odd that they’re using this PPV in particular for Wyatt’s coming out party. Bryan goes for a Yes Lock but Wyatt bites his way out of it. Jerry Lawler & JBL do a good job of covering for Bryan doing a splash instead of the Flying Goat Head butt. Wyatt turns a suicide dive into Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail in the ring for the win. Um, okay. What does Bryan get as a return win? Why did the Wyatt Family just leave Bryan alone after the match? It makes no sense. Weren’t they promise to bring hell fire and brim stone down on Bryan?

Paul Heyman cuts a brilliant promo. He talks up Big Show then puts over his own talent in Brock Lesnar. Ben Roethlisberger is in attendance. Josh Matthews gets to play in studio host with Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and HBK. I feel like I’ve read about these segments but haven’t sat thru their uncomfortableness. It’s the exact reason I don’t watch studio shows for baseball, basketball, football, hockey or soccer.

Brock Lesnar gets a jump on Big Show. Heyman then gives him a chair. Lesnar beats down Show with the chair. JBL trying to defend Lesnar’s tactics is ill advised. I’m not sure why Mike Chioda is letting this happen. Big Show punches Lesnar after Chioda finally calls for the bell. I figured the chair would get punched into Lesnar’s face. Big Show is doing a good job of selling the chair beat down. Gigantic F5. Lesnar almost lost his balance but he kept it. Lesnar still looking worse for wear. Lesnar grabs another chair. Lesnar going out of his way to hit the back even as Big Show is laying on it. Should Stephanie come out and give Lesnar similar advice that she gave to Randy Orton earlier this week since he’s number one contender? Big show has got to be hurting. I’m not quite sure the point of this segment. I can understand reinforcing the anger angle but it drug out a bit longer than I’d like.

Solid promo out of the Shield. Seth Rollins playing peace keeper. Roman Reigns talking about his swagger was an indication he isn’t going to win. Dean Ambrose cracks me up a little bit. Randy Orton talks down all of his possible opponent. Renee Young in the leather jacket is cracking me up. Is she part of the Greasers? Randy Orton took so long getting down to the ring that I had time to drop off the scorpion peppers I ate last night. I can’t sit down. John Cena makes short order of his entrance. The beginning of this match is slow, which isn’t entirely bad. Cena cracks me up when he takes the stairs because he ducks down into them and pushes them up and away from him. (Next Day Note: Cena’s trying to make it look like it hurts more because of how far the stairs go but it just makes it look more fake to me.) Orton goes for a pin after a DDT but only gets two. I love Orton trolling the crowd. He gets an electric chair for the trolling. Cena and Orton fight back and forth. Cena’s top rope leg drop is awful. I’d have him take that out of his arsenal before any other move. A 2nd countered AA means that the third one will be the charm. Orton does the hanging DDT from the ring apron onto the floor mats. Orton rolls him back in but doesn’t get the pin. Cena locks in the STF but Orton gets to the rope. Orton hangs Cena out to dry. The referee gets knocked out. Of course this would happen in a tradition match. I feel like the WWE has gotten away from the ref bumps. I could be very wrong. Orton nails Cena with the belt. By the time Charles Robinson is awake, Cena kicks out. AA but Orton kicks out. The lady & I aren’t completely sure if the crowd is chanting “This is awful.” RKO but Cena kicks out. The lay out of this match has been odd. I thought they were getting into second gear but it jumped to third. Orton locks in the STF sleeper style. Cena transitions into a cross face. AA to Cena only gets a two count. Cena with the RKO but another kick out. Nice of Orton to jump up on Cena’s shoulders. Tornado DDT by Cena after an Orton reversal. Cena locks in the STF again. Cena drags him into the middle of the ring. The Wyatts music hits. Cena goes after the Wyatts. Randy Orton nails the RKO for the win. Orton walks out thru the crowd. The Wyatts attack John Cena. Sister Abigail. Interesting turn of events. The only reason I have to think Wyatt is a threat is his win earlier tonight, which also came out of nowhere.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

mistakeI’m fully ready for a mistake ridden post since I’m starting to watch Raw at 10:05 PM EST. I made several mistakes just typing the title. Oh boy. I went to the Columbus Blue Jackets games against the Tampa Bay Lightning. More on those shenanigans when I do clean up duty tomorrow. Let’s roll. (Next Day Note: I did some pictures of my WWE Rumblers to give updates on the game and notice that I wasn’t going to start the review even “on time” for me. Go to @StuntGranny on the Twitter for viewing. More work to come from those little bundles of joy.)

Bray Wyatt gets an opening vignette. The Usos are waiting for Daniel Bryan and Wyatt to come to ringside. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan are with them. Bryan & Wyatt are on the offensive early against Jey. JBL mystifies Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler by asking them to define why Bryan is worse off now. Just too easy of a question for both to not answer. Jimmy gets a hot tag. Flying Usos connects. I was expecting a break. Harper & Rowan attack. The Usos do the smart thing and leave after getting in a couple of shots. I was expecting an eight man match to come from the interference. Bryan still giving submission to Wyatt. I like it. Establish the new character. Not exactly a barn burner of an opener though.

Damien Sandow is waiting in the ring for John Cena. Really? Cena doesn’t need this. Randy Orton is in action later. If he gets an equivalent match up, he’ll be taking on Kofi Kingston. Jerry Lawler makes it sound like Cena is in fear of losing as they come back from break. None of us are buying King. Sandow locks in the Royal Arch, a modified Sharpshooter. Cena is trying to sell Sandow too. You’re not even going to sell me on it. Cena pulls out a tornado DDT but only gets two. Sandow gives Cena a face plant move but only gets two. Cena locks in the STF. Sandow gets the break. Crossface by Sandow. Cena turns it into an AA. Ugh. Sandow slips out of the move twice earlier in the match. He should have seen this one coming and slipped out of it too. (Next Day Edit: I always want this spot to go to a pure jobber but that makes even less sense than having a down on his luck Sandow lose. At least they can try and build a threat instead of say, Heath Slater.)

Kane & Brad Maddox get to talk. They trade barbs on who’s doing a worse job. Maddox makes a cage match for the Usos vs Bryan & Wyatt. Kane is going to hold the key to get in. Big Show comes down to ringside.

Jack Swagger is accompanied by Zeb Colter & Antonio Cesaro. Choke slam. Squash match. Any other information needed? I didn’t think so. Big Show stalks Zeb. Cesaro gets tossed out of the ring trying to make the save. Big Show threatens him then knocks out Zeb. What a bully. Cesaro’s reaction is priceless. (Next Day Note: I like Antonio Cesaro a lot but it makes more sense for him to be the person who gets knocked out far more than Colter. I suppose this can build up a handicapped match for Show next week for the Real Americans to get “revenge” which we all know they won’t.)

“Road Dogg” Jesse James & Billy Gunn come out first. The kids know this chant. CM Punk gets the intro again. The Shield come out through the crowd. Dean Ambrose starts against Billy Gunn. Seth Rollins going with long sleeves this week for some reason. Gunn goes for the twilt a whirl slam. The kids don’t know the Road Dogg shimmy knee drop as much. Punk makes his first appearance. Ambrose goes after him. Roman Reigns gets the tag. I like Punk getting in the first shot. Punk is pretty young for getting the willy veteran name hung on him by Mitchell.

Punk gets a small opening on Rollins but continues to take the offense of the Shield. I did miss the drop kick on the outside by Reigns earlier. Thanks for a useful replay. Rollins has been called both an architect and a mechanic by Cool within this break. Which one is he? Ambrose gets tossed into the steps. Punk leg lariats Rollins. Reigns plays to NOA. Punk high kicks Reigns. The NOA walk away from the tag. Punk deals with Ambrose & Rollins but gets speared by Reigns for the loss. I’d say this is confirmation that Punk takes on HHH at Wrestlemania? Triple power bomb after the match. I like it. Bray Wyatt gets to do some preaching. I’m really liking this development in his promos. He could have used more of this in the build up vignettes. The speeches weren’t coming through as clearly in my opinion. They’re going to get redemption in the cage tonight. Cool.

From squidoo.com

From squidoo.com

The Funkadactyls are taking on Tamina Snuka & AJ Lee. Cameron starts off against Tamina. Naomi is a bad friend. Cameron is not a good wrestler. She botched running the ropes. AJ knocks Naomi off the apron. Shining Wizard by AJ for the win. Basically a squash match. Naomi comes in and makes the save. Rear View to bounce AJ out of the ring. You should have started the match dummy. Randy Orton is looking for HHH & Stephanie McMahon.

Orton instead gets Kane. The only thing Kane can control is his match tonight. Orton gets Kofi Kingston. Ha. I was right. The Ultimate Warrior is the first inductee for the Hall of Fame. Oh boy, that might be an added expense to the trip to New Orleans. Renee Young gets more camera time with Paul Heyman. He gets a video review of the Lesnar happenings. Heyman runs her down for just being pretty. Outstanding. (Next Day Edit: I like that he didn’t go blunt with her on the air head comment.) Heyman points out the obvious Zeb Colter does not equal Brock Lesnar. Heyman is not intimidated or impressed. I see Lesnar winning. Cena wins the title. We got ourselves a very serious main event at Wrestlemania even if it’s happened before.

Randy Orton is taking on Kofi Kingston. Mitchell Cool (informs us that Kofi) gets to be a spot monkey in the Royal Rumble again. Orton liked the idea of this match because he kicked Kingston down the spiral of his career. Evidently I missed Orton almost walking out of the match. Kofi kicks out of a superplex. Kofi gets to fight back. Kofi tries to get a count out win. What a pansy move. Orton is back in control. Chin lock of doom. Kofi gets tossed into the steps. Mitchell Cool tries to sell this as “Not a walk in the park”  as far as Orton’s control of this match. No wonder judges in the UFC can’t see obvious stuff. Neither can Mitchell. It’s been domination by Orton. Mitchell just said “Every rally is thwarted by Orton.” That makes his match a walk in the park! JBL calls it like it is and points out the domination. Thank you. Kingston nails the SOS for the win. I didn’t see that one coming. They were playing out how Orton was playing with Kofi. So I guess I need to say Mitchell was doing his job, huh? Orton flips out at ringside. Okay, so he’s gone from face of the company to weird flipping out guy? He attacks John Cena’s dad.

They end up loading Mr. Cena into an ambulance. JBL evens gives it the low voice treatment. Cody Rhodes & Goldust are taking on Curtis Axel & Ryback. If the WWE didn’t like Ryback’s weekend Twitter outburst, they’re not winning this match. They could lose it just because they haven’t won much as a team. No reason for them to be at the top of heap. They acknowledge the tweets. Good cover. Axel gets to beat on Goldust. Powerslam on Goldust. That looked like it could hurt. Goldust gets in a bulldog on Ryback to be able to make the tag. Cody kicks Axel in the “stomach”. Disaster Kick on Ryback. Axel rolls up Cody for two. Cross Rhodes. (Next Day Edit: The WWE is in Wrestlemania mode, aka our writers give a shit from January until the beginning of April, but the tag champs don’t have anyone in their sites except other baby face teams. The Real Americans and Rybaxel lose all the time.)

Rey Mysterio is taking on Alberto Del Rio. They use this time to talk even more about the returning Batista. Mysterio nails the 619 but Del Rio catches him trying to Drop the Dime. Del Rio locks on the cross arm breaker for the win. I may not agree with Del Rio chance #475, but if you’re going to go with it, have him beat someone who is respected like Rey Mysterio. Del Rio calls out Batista. I still think he doesn’t deserve to lose to Batista. (Next Day Note: You already said you don’t like him getting chances. No need to pound the point home a sentence later.)

CM Punk tells Kane that HHH doesn’t need to hide from (him). Punk has the chance to headline Wrestlemania by winning the Royal Rumble match. Oh my lord, what a terrible lead in. I was expecting an interview. Not a pre-recorded video that looked kind of silly in a wrestling context. (Next Day Note: Yep, things were going down hill as the night wore on. The Usos promo was a nice try at something different but didn’t come off well.)

Daniel Bryan & Bray Wyatt came down before the break. The Usos come out second. Kane comes out and locks the door. How about these cookies? I didn’t see this main event coming. (Next Day Note: The WWE is putting it’s new talent out there for main events. Congrats to the Usos for making it.) Jimmy Uso took a rough looking spill into the cage on a back drop. Jimmy tries to get out but his brother is down. Terrible strategy. Russian Leg sweep off the ropes. They should be tired early with the action at the top of the show. An Uso did a Whisper in the Wind. Tree of Woe drop kick by Bryan. This is not yet awesome (Crowd chant). Double belly to back suplex on Daniel Bryan from the ropes. Super kick by Jey on Wyatt saves Jimmy from Sister Abigail. The Usos take too long trying to get out. Bryan falls into Wyatt who goes crotch first on the ropes. The Usos drop to the outside to win. Jimmy & Jey get out of ring side after being attacked. Wyatt is saying something to Bryan. He whispers to him again. Bryan looks like he’s going to take Sister Abigail again but pushes off. Wyatt asks him to attack. He doesn’t. Bryan dodges a charge and attacks Wyatt. The crowd goes ape. Daniel Bryan is back? Was he really gone? Running knee to finish of Wyatt. Interesting turn of events. Did the WWE actually cave or was this always a planned short stint? I’m guessing we may never know. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

New-years-eve-lake-garda-1Preparations for for a New Year’s Eve Party have me starting super late. I did see earlier today that this Raw is taped. I did not click on the “BIG spoiler” post on Prowrestling.net however so this is all new to me. Let’s roll.

I’m going to love FFing thru ring entrances starting with CM Punk‘s. Although, I can’t FF when I’m typing my brilliant thoughts. Ha. Punk did have an up and down year. Thank you Shield for playing me some more catch up. I like super cocky Dean Ambrose. Dean does seem to be getting the short end of the stick recently. My forecasts of doom for Rollins may be wrong. I still say his ceiling is Dolph Ziggler. Punk using divide and conquer on the Shield well. Roman Reigns not as pissed at Rollins as he is at Ambrose. Brad Maddox is back! Yeah. I missed his smarmy ass. He officially gives us Seth Rollins vs CM Punk. Commercial.

What weird shit is going on with JBL complaining about the rope break? Mitchell Cool defending it like a heel announcer. Jerry Lawler making the most sense. They stay in first gear before the next break. Punk rolls out of the way of a back splash. Punk nails a leg lariat. Buckle Bomb by Rollins only gets him a two count. I do like the cockiness Rollins has shown against Cena & Punk attempting their own moves on them. Slick spot with Punk rolling thru a cross body into an Anaconda Vice. The Shield causing distractions but it costs Rollins. He yells at Ambrose. Rollins whacks Punk before the suicide dive. Sling shot turned into a GTS for the win. Another slick spot. Rollins is flat out getting it done in the ring. Everyone knows Punk is no slouch at this point. Brad Maddox is talking to the referee about conduct when HHH & Big Steph show up. Daniel Bryan wants a match with Bray Wyatt (Next Day Edit: So I used to have Daniel Bryan for both names. It’s my favorite screw up that neither Wade Keller nor Jason Powell fix. I have no idea why because I’ve gone back thru reports. Shouldn’t you correct it if you’re making a living off of this?). He has to beat Harper then Rowan to get Bray Wyatt. Steph is going to announce the main event for the Royal Rumble. Steph being condescending. Plus.

Steph comes out for the big announcement. I get to buzz thru the Randy Orton video package. John Cena will be his opponent at the Royal Rumble. No surprise there.

HHH gets to blow his wife. He then acts like he is going to say something she hasn’t heard. Steph seems happy about it. Curtis Axel wants us to forget about the past. Like the two failed stints as a low level WWE player? Dolph Ziggler gets an inset promo too. It wasn’t that great. Ziggler takes a ridiculous spill out of the ring. Axel takes a rough looking spill into the turn buckles. They’re trying to out sell each other. The crowd is not into this match at all. Zig Zag out of nowhere for the win. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for Ziggler.

I would not have picked Big E Langston vs Fandango for a match at the 9:00 PM slot at the beginning of the year. Or even two months ago. JBL tries to sell the ability of Fandango to win this match. Sorry, no one is good enough to sell me on that. Summer Rae is outstanding on the outside. She might over emote but I dig it. Fandango takes a breather. Fandango finally takes control when the break hits. Langston powers out. Fandango counters with head butts. Shouldn’t a man with a pretty face avoid that? Fandango getting in some offense to make his case by himself. Langston rolls out of the ring to save himself. Fandango drop kicks him. Fandango jumps into a bear hug. Overhead toss. Big Splash. Down come the straps. The Big Ending. Another good match.

You're Welcome from Wrestlingfeeds.com

You’re Welcome from Wrestlingfeeds.com

For some reason, I stop to listen to Booker T babble. New Year’s Spinarooni. Bad News Barrett shows up with a raising podium. Gavels are obnoxious which is why they work. He gives a bah humbug speech but for the New Year’s.  Renee Young is a bit too happy to introduce Damien Sandow. He claims he’ll quit if he doesn’t win. He should beat whichever clown the fans vote for.

Sandow’s opponent ends up being the Great Khali. I’m starting to wonder if this was the big spoiler. Khali is using the power early. Only a matter of time until he takes out the legs. Mitchell Cool trying to sell the Khali’s title reign as something more than it was. Elbow of Disdain doesn’t quite get it done. Chop from his knees gets Khali up again. Khali is working the crowd and cracking my shit up. (Next Day Edit: Seriously, him working the crowd was so awkward it was hilarious. I can’t remember the last time he had a match this “long” either.) Sandow whacks Khali’s head off a turn buckle and rolls him for the win. The cover was jacked up so the announcers try to cover. I’m glad Sandow quitting isn’t the surprise.

R Truth is taking on Brodus Clay. Xavier Woods is on the head sets again. They must like his mic skills. Poor Woods has to sell back story as he’s sympathizing with his opponent who got blasted. Clay tossing Truth like a sack of potatoes. Woods distracts Clay. The Funkadactyls join in. Truth kicks a charging Clay. Facebuster for the win. They all dance.

HHH gets to introduce Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Lesnar has a new shirt. I like his Steve Austin like abilities to whip up a new shirt. I dig it too. Cool rendition of his back tattoo. He wants to be WWE Heavyweight Champion. The winner of Cena vs Orton has to take on Brock Lesnar. Hmm, that’s a weird time to have him challenge. Between the Rumble and Wrestlemania? He issues an open challenge. Mark Henry answers the bell. Nice. This can’t take place now. Lesnar nails Henry as he gets into the ring. Henry tosses Brock over the barricade. Henry gets driven thru the barricade. F5 on the floor. Aww. Damn. I wanted a match between the two. So John Cena wins the belt then, right? No way they make Lesnar a baby face figure against Orton. (Next Day Edit: After clicking on said link, this was the major spoiler and not the end of the show. It’s Wrestlemania season so now that Brock isn’t going back to the UFC, why is it surprising he’s back in the WWE? If you think the WWE wouldn’t use him for the biggest card of the year, shot yourself. I’m still bummed that him and Henry didn’t get a feud. It didn’t need to be a long one but have them face at the Rumble.)

Total Divas vs Non-Total Divas again. Eva Marie gets to be a heel on the baby face team. Kaitlyn is a baby face on the heel team so it all works. Cameron tags in but is unhappy with Eva. Alicia Fox comes in for her spots. Summer Rae gets to use the long legs. Aksana is in before I can type the previous sentence. They trust Cameron to sell more then Eva. Nikki gets a hot tag? All hell break loose. Summer Rae distracts Nikki. Aksana elbows Nikki face first into the ring for the win. Weird choice for a winner.

Brad Maddox is apologizing to the Authority for the ref botch. Brad has Steph’s favorites lined up. He also has HHH’s favorites lined up. (Next Day Edit: For next week’s Old School Raw. I guess that’s pertinent information.) Maddox woos and shows why he should get more TV time.

Daniel Bryan starts out against Luke Harper. I’m taking it this match goes longer than the Rowan part. Harper looks like Rob Zombie would cast him in a movie. Power dominates early. Gator roll. Bryan starts on a mini roll but gets planted with a tilt a whirl slam. Commercial. Fun stuff from the WWE App. Thanks for making me not download it. Pair of clotheslines by Bryan. Suicide dive connects. And a second time. Top rope drop kick. Chopping the tree kicks. Head kicks only gets two. Brutal looking power bomb that Bryan kicks out of. Bray Wyatt with a fantastic reaction. Bryan still kicks out after a couple of moves. Bryan catches Harper in the Yes Lock. Harper powers out. Bryan with the running knee out of nowhere for the win. Fun stuff. Erick Rowan decks Bryan from behind. The ref let’s Bryan stand before he rings the bell. Rowan tosses him into the steps. He then tosses Bryan over the announce desk. Bryan starts to budge as the commercial hits.

Rowan pancakes Bryan. Rowan slaps Bryan in the belly as he’s perched on the top rope. Middle rope fall away slam. Big man move 101. Small Package for the win. Small guy move 101. Harper drops a few elbows on Bryan but Harper restrains him. Bray Wyatt takes his time getting into the ring. Bray charges Bryan but doesn’t attack. Harper & Rowan attack before any fisticuffs happen. Good choice. They assault him some more. No one in the back likes Bryan. Wyatt sings. Our story ends here. This is the end. Bryan says “You’re right.” Bryan is given the mic. He admits that the machine never let him win. He says even the fans chanting for him everywhere he’s ever been could change their mind. Bryan wants to join the family. Bryan crawls over to him. Sister Abigail but seemingly willing on Bryan’s part. Harper and Rowan carry Bryan to the back. Well, something needed to happen for the Wyatt Family. Interesting choice because he is so much bigger than everyone in the group. Bryan ends up waddling up the ramp by himself. The fans chant no. Bryan acts like the crowd is going to change his mind but he doesn’t. Nice. It could end up sucking but whatever. Got to pull the trigger to find out if it works. – Kevin

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