Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

The WWE loves crazy women. Replay city to start the show. AJ Lee fake talks to Daniel Bryan then Kane then CM Punk. I guess we’re supposed to be surprised that she was doing that in the mirror with the reveal. Hey dummies, you always show the people when they’re actually talking and a tight shot when they’re talking to themselves. I want to vomit. I saw the Cena tweet earlier today. Nothing will make history you tool. Vickie Guerrero gets to be GM this week. The board is dumb as a box of rocks. Daniel Bryan comes out for a triple threat elimination match against Kane & CM Punk. As per usual, nothing happens before the break.

Kane misses the Doomsday Device because of a victory roll. Slick move. The back drop moments later almost went really wrong. Mitchell Cool continues the title reign of CM Punk. You’ve got to wonder why they’re building that up. Kane gets eliminated after another AJ distraction. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for the win. Vickie gets a compliment from Alberto Del Rio. Dolph Ziggler gets his piece to say. Ziggles & Del Rio have a contract on a pole match. Yuck.

The Funkasaurus gets the full intro. I haven’t watched this in weeks because I’ve been playing catch up. Shouldn’t he be pissed heading into this match? At least Big Show is. Big Show takes advantage of Clay’s knee injury. Are they really protecting him? How dumb is the Clay for going for a slam? Another box of rocks. More cover for John Cena being drug thru the mud during his divorce. Why did they hype a match that was pretty much a squash match?

Bob Barker gets the 1000th Raw treatment. Big Show knocked out Clay during the commercial break. OK, that’s shovel time. Have fun digging your grave Brodus. More review, this time with HHH. Remind me why I want to watch all of this and keep up? Lesnar is returning. Wooo, I suppose. AJ & Kane are in the same shot together. WWE reveals their cheap tactics. Kane tells her to stay away. Hasn’t worked before. More boxes and more rockses.

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TNA’s Brian Kendrick on The Price is Right, will probably be fined, fired

 

How much did you bid for that wonderful luggage?

This is the type of morning news we all want to read: According to Prowrestling.net, TNA flounderer Brian Kendrick was a contestant on “The Price is Right” this morning, bidding his way out of contestant’s row, but losing Secret X and then not winning when he spun the Big Wheel. It’s still awesome that he was on — one of my secret lifelong dreams is to play Plinko on TPIR, but who’s dream isn’t that? — but because it was a third-party booking without TNA’s approval, and because Kendrick wore a Seattle Sounders soccer T-shirt instead of an AJ Styles “Flying Forearm” tee, Kendrick will likely be fired by TNA by this afternoon. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I could only find a picture with 1000 televisions.

As usual, I’m starting my viewing a little bit late. I had to go get beer and walk my dogs. The box of beer I got has a quote from Hunter S. Thompson on it – “Good people drink good beer.” Amen. I’m sucking down Flying Dog In Heat Wheat Hefeweizen. Check for my review later in our forum, which is free.

I must admit that I’m surprised that the 900th episode didn’t warrant three hours of television. It’d suck if it were that long. Just like three hours of TNA is too long on Thursday nights. Check our Audio from last week to hear more about that subject.

We start off with Bret Hart yapping. Now Kane is running down Undertaker and Hart. He’s been doing a solid job on the mic recently. Glad to know the Hart Dynasty is still alive.  Of course Kane is going to give us no satisfaction in the match department. Wait, Bret isn’t fit to wrestle Nexus but he can wrestle the Undertaker? Huh? What a shitty main event.

Highlights of Episode #1 which I in no way watched. Seeing Yokozuna made me remember that The Pensblog showed the Penguins old defenseman Peter Taglianetti tried to slam him before Lex Luger did.

Highlights of the immortal Steve Austin driving the Zamboni from episode #279. Wow, I’ve caught more of this 900 than I thought. Austin could have highlights all night long but I figure they’ll spread out the star power.

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Stunt Granny Audio #58: Dragon Gate Weekend A-Go-Go

The streets are lined with the footprints of the Stunt Granny.

The streets are lined with the footprints of the Stunt Granny.

Dusty hosts Jordan and Eric in this two-part audio about the boys’ Labor Day weekend trip to Chicago for Dragon Gate and WWE Monday Night Raw. Since write-ups of the events themselves were posted on this very site, the guys focus on the perception of the crowds and the reactions by those fans, as well as how much of a taste of Chicago these goons really got. How did Jordan and Eric (along with SteveMHW and Derekstellar) fare on the bus and the train with the other wrestling fans? What new phrases did they all coin? And why is Jumping Jeff Farmer so scared? Click to listen!

Stunt Granny Audio #58a (49:50)

Stunt Granny Audio #58b (49:00)

Fuck yes: Bob Barker to host Sept. 7 WWE Raw

Wait... does her name tag say Kimala? I swear I just found this doing a Google Image Search. Weird.

Wait... does her name tag say "Kimala"? I swear I just found this doing a Google Image Search. Weird.

According to Prowrestling.net, Bob Barker has confirmed he’ll be the guest host of WWE Monday Night Raw on Sept. 7 from the Allstate Arena in Chicago. Why fuck yes? Because I’ll be there! I watched Bob Barker host “The Price is Right” ever since I was a wee lad on my grandma’s knee. I love that old man. If there’s any way I could even shake his hand and say “thank you” one time, my life would be complete. Oh, and maybe if the wrestlers got to play some TPIR games. “Mark Henry, you’re going to play PLINKO, for a chance to win a hamburger!” Or Hornswoggle plays that game that used to be called Punch-Out, but all he can break through is the bottom row of holes. I can’t wait! -Eric

WWE Raw guest hosts likely here to stay

To be the man, babaaaaay....

"To be the man, babaaaaay...."

Thanks to the eagle eye of Robert Miqueli, this article from Variety was uncovered. USA Network is thrilled with the extra exposure the already-successful WWE Monday Night Raw has received from the guest host gimmick, and so we can expect to see this continue for a while, as Raw has pretty much become a part of the “talkshow circuit.” Here’s a snippet, with a look into future and possible guest hosts:

Given how successful the guest hosts have been, WWE plans to continue having them appear on “Raw” at least through the end of the year, and possibly up to WrestleMania 26 next March.

“For right now, it’s really working and clicking,” [Stephanie] McMahon said. “But it’s just the beginning.”

Upcoming booked talent includes former gameshow host Bob Barker, the Rev. Al Sharpton, “Access Hollywood” co-host Nancy O’Dell, boxer Floyd Mayweather and basketball player LeBron James. Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson, the Osbournes, Danny DeVito, Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa, Jimmy Fallon, Rachael Ray, MC Hammer, Woody Harrelson, Serena Williams and Ashton Kutcher also are in talks for hosting gigs.

While embracing the PG rating has helped WWE attract new advertisers like 7-Eleven and Pepsi, the extra star wattage is only expected to help keep sponsors happy.

“We’re letting them feel safe with the PG environment,” McMahon said. “By bringing in the celebrities, we’re saying, ‘If it’s OK for them, it’s OK for you too.’ “

First, let me just say, any gig that gets MC Hammer out of his refrigerator box and in front of a hot meal is a good one. And I would throw my mom down the stairs to see Danny Devito bring the rest of the cast of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” with him; a tag match featuring John Cena & Day Man vs. Randy Orton & Night Man is money waiting to be printed.

The guest host idea has been met with mixed responses from us snarky fans, but so were the low 3s Raw was drawing just a few months ago. And how many times have you seen some smart mark gripe about WWE not being able to pull in good advertisers? This is becoming less of a problem, too, and we even get sweet Big Gulp cups out of the deal! So you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life. -Eric

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