Total Divas – Season 2 – Cabo – She Said (He Edited)

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givesugar.com

Having watched two back to back episodes of Total Diva’s, I sit here typing with a terrible headache. Should I attribute it to having to cram in two Total Diva shows in two days? As much as I’d like to say, yes, I’ll have to say, no, and try to pull my thoughts together to get through this review.

We’ve all been to bachelor / bachelorette parties, but in no way have I been to a swanky bachelorette party in Cabo San Lucas, MX. Wow! This episode focused on Brie’s bachelorette party and a bit about Trinity. We’ll start with Trinity first.

At the end of Red and Gold, we saw Trinity get injured in the ring. Cabo starts off with that same segment. Trinity doing her thing in the ring and then getting kneed in the eye. Trinity finishes the match and wins. Trinity heads straight to the back to the doctor who tells her she needs to go to a specialist. We see some gruesome photos of Trinity’s eye and a supportive and sympathetic Jon. Trinity wears an eye patch but after a few days, she goes back into the doctor who tells her that a bone is broken and there is a lot of fat around her eye, but that it should heal in 2-3 weeks. Trinity is obviously excited as she is in the height of her career and wants that Title belt.

Summer Rae approaches Eva Marie about Cabo. Since I can never understand what Summer Rae says as she can’t seem to open her mouth all the way to enunciate words, I’m not sure if she asked Eva if she was going to Cabo or if she was invited and wanted to know if Eva was going. Either way, Eva tells her that she will have all the fun for Summer as Summer has burned way too many bridges. Eva walks away and hilariously enough, Summer asks a random girl standing there if she is going to Cabo then walks away.

It’s Brie-mode time. Getting off the plane, there is a bar for ‘soda’s to go’ which Nattie, Nikki and Brie take advantage of. (Kevin’s Edit: How dare you forget they were called road sodas! Opie would be disappointed.) Driving up to the rental for the bachelorette party, Nattie starts talking about swimming with dolphins, board games and building a sand castle. I’d have to say, that all sounds fun to me, but alas, the girls say ‘NO”, it’s Briemode and get your drink on. The rental is stunning. So open and beautiful, each Diva has their own room. That is pretty swanky, along with a gorgeous pool that overlooks the ocean. Personal servants bring them all the drinks they want which is pretty awesome. You have a scene of scantily placed bikini’s and some ass slapping, which was weird for me to watch, but I’m sure the guys out there were wiping drool from their faces. (Kevin’s Edit: Other guys will need to speak up. I’m not exactly a big fan looks wise of  these Divas.)

Nattie and Nikki are out in the pool alone and talking about John and how Nattie bets her Divaship on John asking her to marry him. Nikki blurts out that she was married before. This obviously throws Nattie and we find out that at age 20 Nikkie married her high school sweetheart in Vegas with Elvis. They were married 3 years and she said she got an annulment. Brie comes out and gets slightly upset because she is the only one who knew about the marriage and now Nattie knows, and we all know Nattie can’t keep a secret. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone has that friend who can’t keep their yapper shut. Nattie has nothing of interest to tell about herself so she needs to gossip.)

The party continues into the night and we see Eva Marie trying to have a good time, but also looking a bit stressed. We find out that Eva Marie is a recovering Alcoholic and right before she got hired to the WWE she ‘fell off’ the wagon. She tries to hide the fact she isn’t drinking, but it eventually becomes way too much and she ends up leaving the group upset and going home. Ariane tries to stop her but Eva just tells her she doesn’t feel good and is going back to the villa.

The next morning Eva comes clean and tells the girls that she is a recovering alcoholic and she can’t have just 1 drink. The girls support Eva and it becomes an emotional circle of Nattie, Brie, Nikki, Ariane and Eva Marie sharing their emotions and their issues. I actually felt it was quite touching and definitely took away from the Brie-mode. It was a slight buzz kill, but it seemed like the girls didn’t mind. (Kevin’s Edit: I have no idea why she struggled with telling them especially in a setting you’re supposed to get hammered in.) I did have to laugh though when Nikki told Eva that the ones you hate the most are the ones that become your best friends, I don’t think so, but whatever, she’s a Diva.

We end the Brie-mode with swimming with the dolphins. Nattie got what she wanted and was very happy. I actually thought that seemed like a cool idea. (Kevin’s Edit: I would be down for swimming with dolphins. It’d be way more fun to be in a shark cage though.)

At the end of the episode, Nikki decides to tell her family that she was married before. Her father is OK with it. I found it odd he was there as I thought they didn’t like their dad? (Kevin’s Edit: He was there? Shows you how much I was paying attention. They didn’t like him though.) And her mom was a bit surprised after how close they are that Nikki didn’t confide in her. Nikki’s brother went off though. He said he was really pissed and stormed off. I didn’t understand his anger as he isn’t the one who was married and divorced and he also should be supportive and not a child. That entire scene was stupid. Nikki leaves as she feels unwanted in her brother’s home and is now worried what John will say when she tells him. (Kevin’s Edit: Are we sure the brother isn’t gay after that reaction?)

We see in the preview that it’s time for Brie to get married, it’s Wrestlemania, and it concludes with Nikki’s brother telling John that Nikki was married before. Oh boy, part 1 of 2 of the season finale. Maybe I’ll have to write one review for the season finale as I find TV is getting a bit more crazy with making a 2 part season finale, what happened to the cliffhangers from back in the day! (Kevin’s Edit: I promised on big reviews so let’s just do it that way.) – M & (Kevin)

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

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I think the only reason I mention I don’t have an introduction is because I enjoy writing them. I’m not sure anyone cares. So let’s just get to this review.

Evolution comes out first. HHH says this won’t end until the Shield no longer exists. Batista has the brains to ask for his title shot. HHH calls Batista a choker. Ha. HHH tries to sell his plan of beating the Shield. Batista understands the plan and quits. HHH tells Batista that he’s finished for reals. Yeah, like anyone can sell that in wrestling. Not much of an introduction segment either. Short and sweet.

Batista is done with the empty promises. I don’t blame him. Sheamus & RVD are set to take on Cesaro and Bad News Barrett. The latest gets an in set promo and assures us no Five Star Frog Splash tonight and a Bull Hammer Elbow for RVD. Paul Heyman joins us on commentary. Heyman reminds us of the cheapness of last night’s small package win. Cesaro and Sheamus square off while this goes on. RVD ends up pairing off with Barrett. Bad News takes over before the break. Heyman continues to harp on the style of win. Heyman turning heel tactics on it’s ear. Barrett & Cesaro take turns beating RVD down. Cesaro takes a cheap shot at Sheamus on the apron. It gives RVD an opening. Barrett gets to be the beaten. Cesaro dodges a Brogue Kick and ducks out of the ring. They leave ring side. Winds of Change by Barrett. Brogue Kick followed by a Five Star for the win. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news, Barrett will not be the next Paul Heyman guy.

Damien Sandow comes out as “Lance Stephenson.” Sandow goes for the easy trolling jokes. He gives us a display of his “skills.” Big Show appears “from nowhere.” He’s looking slim. The fact that Sandow could deliver the “mad skills” line without cracking a smile is awesome. Lana can’t do that. Sandow gets WMDed.

Kane beating up Kofi Kingston was forgotten by yours truly as soon as it happened. Kingston is in the ring to take on Bo Dallas again. The Heat Bo-Lieved. The WWE never beats a joke into the ground. Surprising to hear that in back to back segments. Kofi kicks Bo out of the ring. Swinging neck breaker by Bo. Dallas hits a trifecta of knees. If the small part of the crowd is chanting “Bo-ring”, that’s kind of funny. A cross body by Kingston gets a two count. Dallas drops Kingston neck first over the top rope. Running Bo-dog for the win. This cracks me up. I’m not sure it’s translating though. Renee Young asks Stephanie McMahon about Batista. She tells us what’s in tune for the 9 PM segment.

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

Stephanie tries to sell the angle more. She tries to sell her great leadership skills. She does know how to get the crowd to chant “Yes!” She makes a match at Money In The Bank, Daniel Bryan against Kane in a stretcher match. If Bryan can’t fight, it will be determined in the MITB match. I’m jealous of Chicago for the awesome John Cena matches they have gotten. CM Punk from a few years ago and last night. Stephanie jumps on Cena’s point about a fighting champion. Cena fires back and talks up Bryan. Stephanie making valid points to counter Cena. He stays on point and pushes home her embarrassing track record with Daniel Bryan. Steph makes a match with Kane and Cena. She confirms that she is a bitch. Man, really good stuff from both sides.

Kane is beating up Cena when we come back from commercial. I would imagine that Bryan will be recovered by then. I would imagine the fights to get into the match will be good. Cena rallies like normal. Cena actually sells being tired from last night. Kane fights out of an AA. Kane knees Cena into the corner. Cena wins by DQ. Kane tosses Cena into the steps, which he is the champ of selling. He even got the lower part this time. Even better than his normal standard. Kane sets up for a Tombstone but Cena slips out. Cena pushes him into the post. Cena then tosses the top of the stairs at Kane. Renee Young talks to Randy Orton. Batista took his ball and went home. He has a match against Roman Reigns tonight.

Los Matadores have El Torito with them. 3MB comes out. Heath Slater brings out Hornswoggle with an afro. The little people will finally not be involved in this feud. Drew McIntyre is with Slater. Heath hit a leg lariat and celebrates. El Torito removes the wig. Why didn’t he finish shaving his head? Slater is distracted. One of the Matadores rolls up Slater for the win. El Torito dances with the afro.

Nikki Bella is put in a handicapped match against Aksana & Alicia Fox. JBL has to explain in a very wordy way that Mitchell Cool is right about Stephanie being vindictive but Cool doesn’t brag about it. I’m confused. Alicia Fox picks up the win. Fox picks up Nikki & tosses her out of the ring. Aksana puts the boots to Nikki more. Fox gives her a back breaker. Shouldn’t a Total Diva make a save? Maybe the Divas Champ Paige who was just feuding with Fox? Luke Harper tells us the Usos will pay for their actions. The flock will suffer for the Usos misdeeds. Follow the Buzzards.

Zeb Colter gets to complain about Adam Rose more. It looks the crowd may be getting a hold of this guy. Jack Swagger keeps getting his ass slapped. Reverse running elbow by Rose. Swagger gives Rose a boot to the face. Swgger wears down Rose. Rose fires back with punches. Swinging neck breaker to Swagger. Cannonball in the corner. Cravat DDT for the win. Byron Saxton gets to talk to the Usos. They’re going to handle their business tonight. I love their enthusiasm.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan are in the ring with no Bray Wyatt at ring side. Rowan starts against Jimmy. Rowan gets the better of the injured Uso. Harper makes his first appearance. Jimmy gets in a leg lariat and tags in Jey. Rowan ends up taking over on Jey. He tries to slam Rowan but falls over. They tag in and out beating on Jey. Rowan lets him tag in Jimmy. He drop kicks Rowan thru the ropes. Harper gets punched outside. Break. Harper is in control after the break. Rowan is the screw up again when he runs into the ring post with his shoulder. Whisper in the Wind by Jimmy. Jey & Harper come in. Harper takes his eye off the prize by looking at the chair. Jey unloads on him but Harper doesn’t stay down. Jey takes Rowan on the outside. Harper hits a suicide dive. Jimmy connects with the over the top rope dive. Harper raises the knees on a Superfly Splash attempt. Harper goes for the clothesline but gets super kicked. Rowan secret tags but it doesn’t pay off. Rowan gives Jey a modified urinogi for the win. He gets the win after playing fool in the match. (Next Day Note: I’d laugh at my own writing if I didn’t know Rowan got assaulted when he came in but then quickly got the pin.)

Dolph Ziggler takes on Alberto Del Rio in a match that will determine someone’s chance of still having a career in the WWE. Ziggler drops the consecutive elbows. Del Rio goes to work on the arm. Del Rio goes for a cover after a belly to back suplex. Really. Ziggler tilt a whirls out of Del Rio’s grasp and drop kicks him. Ziggler gets shots in the kidneys. Famous Asser by Ziggler for two. Tilt a whirl back breaker only gets Del Rio two. Super face buster by Ziggler after ADR takes his time going up. After countering some moves, ADR slaps on the cross arm breaker for the win. Don’t answer the phone Dolph. (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t think either of these guys have a chance at the briefcase anyway.)

Rybaxel is in the ring waiting for Goldust and his new partner chosen by Cody Rhodes. It’s Sin Cara. I wouldn’t mind Goldust teaming with younger guys to help them out. Curtis Axel starts the match with Goldust. Sin Cara & Ryback are in quickly. JBL’s hunch back joke dies with silence. Ryback knocks Goldust out of the ring. Axel powers Goldust into the barricade. They tag in and out to wear down Goldie. JBL is doing a good job of selling on Cody recovering his form though. Sin Cara gets to be the hot tag. Ryback saves the match. Sin Cara kicks Axel in the face. Sin Cara misses the Swanton. Was that a neck breaker into a face first DDT? Whatever it was, it won the match for Axel. (Next Day Note: I don’t know where this story line with the Rhodes brothers is going, which is normally a good thing. I just don’t really care about either of these two so the mystery is just there.)

Lana comes out and is getting the “USA” chants. Alexander Rusev is being recognized by the Russian Federation. “USA!” They give him a medal. Rusev speaks in Bulgarian. Long live the Super Athlete. Where’s Nikolai Volkoff when you need him?

Dean Ambrose starts yapping at 11:00. Why do I get the feeling this could go over the 10 minute mark? Seth Rollins points out that Evolution didn’t adapt. Why is it just dawning on me that this could be an angle? Roman Reigns talks about being brothers. He wants Randy Orton. HHH comes out with him bearing a sledge hammer. Rollins nails Reigns with the chair. (Next Day Note: I wasn’t surprised that this turn was still trending in the AM. Every time I saw anything about a turn, it was Reigns. The turn doesn’t make much sense though unless Rollins believes HHH won’t stop until The Shield is done.) He then takes out Ambrose. I didn’t see this coming. Curb Stomp onto a chair on Ambrose. Orton goes to work on Reigns. The new trio celebrates over the fallen and broken Shield. The WWE has surprised me more this year than any year in a long time. – Kevin

Total Divas – Season 2 – Episode 7 – She Said (He Edited)

Steve Thoms - Field of Red and Gold - nonprints.com

Steve Thoms – Field of Red and Gold – nonprints.com

I have to say, this episode actually had some character to it and felt like some of the show wasn’t scripted. But alas, I’m sure I’m wrong about that. I have found it interesting that they pick and choose the shows characters on who is going to be on each week. Before when the show first started, everyone was on the show at the same time with special brunches and lunches, but now it’s like they are deciding who is going to have the bigger story line or most on camera time, why would they not though since it is a WWE production and half the time wrestlers go missing for weeks and then return all of a sudden. (Kevin’s Edit: I can’t say I had thought about the shift in focus but she’s right on both points. It happens on the regular roster too. Why not make Total Divas the same way?)

Anyway, this past episode focused on Nattie, Brie, Nikki, Summer Rae, Eva Marie and Ariane. Hmm, who should I start with first? It’s all a train wreck, so I’ll start with the most annoying in this episode which was Ariane. Girl Bye! Is all I want to say to this horrendous story line. So Ariane has a single coming out called Bye Bye. She wants free publicity so her and her man, Vincent drive to a paparazzi area to get photographed. After leaving the dog in the car and remembering a short time later that the tiny dog was in the car, they were on their way for free publicity. But alas, Kim Kardashian ruined the free publicity by being in a restaurant near by. Ariane pulls out the ‘friend’ card and behind Vincent’s back, calls Ray J. He is a singer and had a terrible dating show on VH1 at some point. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m trying to figure out if my woman doesn’t know about the Ray J and Kardashian sex tapes or not. I mean, I wouldn’t know him except for that so she gave me more information than I had.) Ariane and Ray J go to work out so the paparazzi can take lots of pictures. This scene was terrible as they were putting them in all kinds of awkward positions pretending to ‘wrestle’ in the gym and having an MMA trainer. Can the WWE think of anything more stupid? So the pictures get posted, they ask about her and Ray J, but he’s just a friend of the family, and Vincent gets all pissed off. But alas, at the end of every segment, they are OK after Ariane apologizes at her singles party for Bye Bye. (Kevin’s Edit: I agree with her analysis. Ariane is the most unlikeable character on this show. She does as little as possible and expects attention for nothing. There’s a reason they didn’t play the song much during the show.)

I in no way would have ever thought Nattie was a talented painter. Ha! Nattie and TJ killed me this episode. Nattie painted a picture of John and Nikki. She is straddling John in the painting. When Nikki takes the painting out of the box with Brie on the phone, she says “I’m wearing a diaper and I have a claw for a hand”. Nikki decides to hide the painting but when Nattie comes over to visit, Brie informs Nikki she has to put it out on display. Nikki takes it out of the closet and puts it out for her. Nattie is thrilled the painting is out and how pretty the frame matches their interior of the home. I was just laughing. (Kevin’s Edit: It was strange to me that the frame of the picture did fit in with the decor Nikki put it near. I don’t like gold unless it’s the yellow (Pirates/Steelers) or Vegas (Pens) variety.) So Nattie decides she wants to do something just as personal for Brie and Daniel’s wedding present and hand deliver it. So we get a glimpse of Nattie working on Brie and Daniel’s wedding portrait with dog included. TJ comes into the room and without saying it, says he doesn’t want anything to do with the painting, it’s all Nattie. She is so excited about the painting and fixes Daniel’s nose, giving it more texture. (Kevin’s Edit: Tyson Kidd showed personality for the first time ever.)

TJ makes Nattie carry the painting to the car as he again reiterates, he wants nothing to do with the painting. Predictable, their full sized has been changed to an economy car. (Kevin’s Edit: I had this happen recently or else I’d scream set up. I had a full size become a compact and a compact become a full size. Too bad we had the compact with four people.) The painting obviously doesn’t fit. Nattie decides that the stadium isn’t far, so they can just tie it to the roof with her panty hose, work pants and tape. Ha, ha, ha. And yes, as predicted, the painting flies off the car into traffic. They tie it again to the car and take off. Nattie approaches Daniel and Brie and takes the painting out of the box. Brie and Daniel have no idea what to say and Nattie continues to rave about the imported frame while TJ just stands there. When Nattie leaves, Daniel and Brie both agree to not hang the painting. Daniel comments that his nose looks like a male body part. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m not as prim and proper as her. They look like balls, if you like to manscape.) Brie doesn’t look anything like Brie. Poor Nattie. You can tell stuff like that takes a lot of time, but I know, I would never paint something like that and give it to someone. I know they say that it’s the personal factor that counts, but sometimes you just need to give a gift card instead. (Kevin’s Edit: She’s not even a good painter. Nattie, take some lessons or stop.)

Our final Divas are Eva Marie and Summer Rae. So the WWE wants to give Eva and Summer a chance to be a tag team and it is christened Red and Gold. They love it and decide to work out together to try out moves and a routine. Eva does comment that she got pulled out of NXT faster and that Summer has a lot more experience. This is noted when they begin working on their routine and Summer gets fed up because Eva acts like she has no idea what she is doing. I just wonder if she really has no clue or if it’s another ploy by the WWE to get us to think it’s a good story line. (Kevin’s Edit: Eva is a terrible wrestler. She was booked with a “We can get free advertising from Maxim” rocket attached to her back. The smart plan would have been to make her a valet but that’s just for Lana.) Eva looked like she was trying to not know, but it all just seemed a bit awkward. Summer Rae gets pissed and Eva says she just doesn’t have much time, which throws Summer into saying she is more busy than Eva. So the night of the match comes and Summer runs to Mark and tells him that she doesn’t think Eva is ready so he adds a 3rd into the tag team match. In the interim, Brie has told Eva to watch out for Summer because it’s all about Summer and stepping on those to get to the top. Touche! (Kevin’s Edit: Summer has been unlikeable until this moment. You shouldn’t want to team with someone who is that bad. Why the WWE thought this idea was a good one will remain either a mystery or a way to create this storyline for the show.)

The match comes and they have the big girl that looks like a man with them, I think Tamina? Sorry, can’t remember her name. (Kevin’s Edit: You’ve heard it from me enough. Now we just need to get the Snuka part in there.) And Summer only tags in Tamina and never Eva. Eva has her hand out there trying to get into the match and Summer never lets her in. The match finally ends with Nikki, Nattie and Brie winning. After the match Brie approaches Summer and she tells Brie that Eva just isn’t good enough and doesn’t want to look bad. Brie runs and tells Eva and Tamina tells Eva that she has to stick up for herself and not let Summer run all over her. Eva Marie confronts Summer and Eva informs Summer it’s not the Summer Rae show and she is no longer in her corner and Summer Rae will now be 100% alone. (Kevin’s Edit: This part is where I start calling Bravo Sierra. Six women went to the ring without going over what was going to happen in the match? Try to sell me a different lie.)

At the conclusion of this episode we see Trinity’s injury in the ring and her being escorted out by the doctor with all the Diva’s standing there wanting to know what has happened.

So, you know what the next write up will be about. Trinity. Will it be good? Will Nattie decide to make a painting for Trinity at the height of her career? Will Summer Rae be able to make it on her own, or will she turn to Fandango for comfort? I’m sure none of this will happen as it will be another scripted show and a lot more brain cells dying. Thank goodness I saw a Season Finale for Diva’s the other night. But with my luck, I’ll still be reviewing these shows when the next season starts. HA! – M & (Kevin)

Review of #WWE Main Event From Someone Who Actually Watches It

vanilla-ice1

I wonder if Damien Sandow is a good contractor too. From hiphopwired.com

We here at Stunt Granny are looking to expand our coverage of sports, entertainment and sports entertainment. Our good buddy Chris Calamita has come on board to do a couple of reviews for us. He’s going to suffer through Main Event and then enjoy NXT. Here’s his first crack at the show that is still better than ROH or TNA. – Kevin

Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton welcome us to this week’s edition and throw to the opening contest…

Cody Rhodes w/ Goldust vs. Curtis Axel w/ Ryback

During the entrances, we see clips of The Brothers Rhodes being destroyed by Evolution last night on Raw and then follow with a wwe.com exclusive of Rybaxel confronting a defeated Rhodes family. Axel made a reference to Barry Horowitz and Ryback gave them a Dr. Scratch N. Sniff inspired raspberry before shoving down Goldy as Cody does nothing. The match begins with a tribute to Mr. Perfect as Axel does his leapfrog followed by a sweet high dropkick from Cody. Cody then kicks Axel’s leg out from under his leg and Axel takes his father’s patented bump off of it. The match then slows down with Axel in control (shocking I know) and not even a chop exchange gets a reaction from the Atlanta crowd. I mean I know this isn’t a Japanese crowd or even an ROH crowd but they didn’t even “Whoo!”. Cody makes his comeback with other people’s moves again namely Goldust’s uppercut and Bob Holly’s draping groin kick. Cody finally hits something from his own repertoire, that being his moonsault, for a nearfall. Ryback then gets on the apron which brings over Goldust to assist but Ryback quickly disposes of him and climbs back on the apron where he is greeted with a Disaster Kick. This all distracts Rhodes long enough for Axel to clip him from behind, cradle him, hook the tights, and get the win in an average match.The brothers are despondent afterward but show no overt signs of dissension.

Recap of last night’s Cena/Wyatts/Lawler angle which ended with the Usos making the save setting up tonight’s Main Event on Main Event.

R-Truth vs. Damien Sandow

I hope you all appreciate the sacrifices I’m making by watching this show so you don’t have to. And… And…

Here comes D-Sizzle, dressed in a red/white track suit, a gold chain with a roll of duct tape around it, shades, a backwards baseball cap, and a gold grill. He’s here to treat us to a rap…

Yo Everybody know Hotlanta is the hip hop capital of the world

That being said I’m about to break y’all off something proper

You know I roll with the sinners but I’m praised like a saint

And when that bell rings I go hard in the paint

When fools start to step I start tossin

My teeth are clean but I still be flossin (holds up duct tape)

Truth interrupts saying “You rappin, ain’t nobody got time for that”. You’d think D-Sizzle would be totally flustered after such a witty retort but he continues

I’m holding it together like tape

Do you have a problem with that cuz in

I’m about to run up and get done up

Thuggish living til the end

Tell a friend

*mic drop*

And I take back my opening line. I love this show. The performance of D-Sizzle is a must watch. Unfortunately the match had to start. Thankfully its short as Truth escapes the You’re Welcome and hits whatever it is Truth calls his jumping Downward Spiral for the win.

Recap of the Bryan/Stephanie angle on Raw

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Usual Divas match between these two as literally nothing of note happens early. Anyway the match goes on until Brie catches Natalya in a half crab which is reversed into the Sharpshooter by Natalya which gets her the tap out win. Brie then breaks down and cries into her sister Nikki’s ample bosom. Lucky girl.

Renee Young then interviews the Usos who call John Cena “Big Us (ooss)” and say that being real family gives them the advantage.

Music video recap of the Shield/Evolution angle from Raw.

The Wyatt Family cuts a promo that begins with a longer than usual speaking part for Luke Harper. Harper says Bray created for them a stronger bond than family. Bray then called the Usos pawns in John Cena’s game who are guilty by association “and together they will burn”. Rowan finishes with “Run”.

Main Event – World Tag Team Champions The Usos vs Luke Harper and Eric Rowan (non-title)

Rowan starts off still wearing the sheep mask but it is quickly slapped off by Jey. A quick tag out on both sides bring Harper in with Jimmy. Harper hits an impressive dropkick as we go to commercial. We come back from commercial with Rowan in the ring and Jimmy about to make a tag to Jey. Jey comes in and run mild until a fall away slam send him rolling to the outside. Harper goes after Jey whipping him into the ring apron and whiffing on a running elbow that Jey still has to sell. Harper throws Jey back into the ring and tags Rowan back in. Jey attempts a comeback with an enziguri to Rowan but Harper is tagged in and stops the attempted tag on the other side. He hits Jey with the big boot for a 2 count and then does his gator roll into two suplexes which is certainly creative. Harper hits a Michinoku Driver for a near fall that is broken up by Jimmy. Harper goes for the charge into the corner but gets a boot in his face and a 2nd  rope dropkick which helps turn the tide. Jimmy finally gets the hot tag and runs wild with a Samoan Drop and a Superkick. Rowan breaks up a pin attempt which bring Jey back in for a donnybrook. The Wyatt Family members end up outside where The Usos hit them with Running Planchas. Jimmy Uso then throws Harper back in and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Rowan, however, manages to toss Jey Uso into the ropes on the outside causing Jimmy to momentarily lose his balance. Jimmy is still able to make the jump but he ends up jumping over Harper who has fully recovered and manages to hit Jimmy with the spinning lariat for the 1-2-3 to finish what was certainly a good match. I assume this means that the 3rd match in 9 days between these 2 teams will take place at Payback with the titles on the line.The Wyatts aren’t finished yet with the Usos as they jump them after the bell. I lose track of which Uso is which at this point but I know Rowan ran one back first into the post while Harper threw the other out of the ring where he landed at the feet of Bray Wyatt. Bray then gave him Sister Abigail on the floor and then went back to his rocking chair and laughed maniacally as Harper counted to 10 as the show came to a close.

Final Thoughts:

Its Main Event so nothing Earth shattering ever happens but the antics of D-Sizzle and a good main event make this episode a thumbs up. Recommended if you have 45 minutes to kill this week. – Chris

#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode – 6 – She Said (He Edited)

flirting-noOh, the joys of Total Diva’s. There is a reason that I continue to take a hiatus from this train wreck and it’s not because I was on vacation, it’s mainly because I just don’t have the time to try and think of something to write every week when this train wreck is watched. I feel like it goes through spurts of good television (as good as a Diva show could be) and spurts of horrific television (where everything is set up so they can actually have a show for people to watch). I obviously missed writing about Ariane house sitting for Natalia and losing her cat during a party. I honestly couldn’t tell you what else happened within that episode, it was so boring. (Kevin’s Edit: She suggested a He Said (She Edited) but I remember about as much of that episode as she does.)

The 5/4 episode is the one I’ll be writing about today. It’s all about Summer Rae,  Trinity and Brie. I’ll start with Trinity as she seemed to have the least amount in the show even though she was focused on.

Trinity and Jon are married. Jon is ready for kids and Trinity is at the height of her career and does not want kids. This is obviously something to discuss before you tie the knot. We find out that Jon has 2 kids already, a boy and girl. They are adorable! Anyway, Trinity always forgets to take her pill and Jon refuses to put on a “love sleeve” as he says he doesn’t have time and it’s too constricting. Trinity decides, well, I keep forgetting and I don’t want kids now, so she and her mom go and have an implant put into her arm. It’s a 3 year birth control implant so she won’t get pregnant. I’m not sure if this is truly the best way to handle this as she doesn’t tell Jon what she does. She says it’s her body and she can do what she wants. As I haven’t read up on this procedure and the pros and cons, if it works for her and she doesn’t get pregnant, good for her. But if she has always been that forgetful and he has never worn a love sleeve and they have been together this long already, I’m not sure why she really did do this. All birth control is not 100%. those love sleeves are important even when a girl is on the pill. So I wish them the best of luck and maybe next time she won’t hide a procedure from her husband. (Kevin’s Edit: She’s being a bone head. He’s being a bone head. If anyone would know about taking a while to get to the top, I’d think it’d be Jon since it’s taken him 5 years to get consistent TV time. Granted, Trinity hasn’t been getting much TV time since she decided to stop Aksana’s knee with her face.  When this was recorded, she was being pushed for the Diva’s Title. I do love that WWE policy, if someone else messes up, you get punished. See Ziggler, Dolph.)

Brie is in the process of planning her wedding. She is so excited and we get to see her try on wedding dresses. The dress she picks is very pretty and elegant and I would expect nothing less from Brie. Nikki, though, decides to arrive fashionably late, after Brie finds her dress. The entire episode is about Nikki being a bitch to Brie as Brie is trying to plan her wedding. Nikki wants nothing to do with anything. She gets upset with Brie at the gym when they are working out because Brie is asking about seating arrangements and bridesmaid dresses. (Kevin’s Edit: I’d be pissed if someone talked to me that much in the gym too. It doesn’t even need to be about wedding stuff. John Cena, like normal, makes the best out of his screen time cracking a joke that I’d love for him to use on TV instead of another poop joke.) Nikki gets pissed with Brie when Brie says ‘no’ to a skanky dress that Nikki wants to wear in her wedding and Nikki refuses to help Brie with wedding invitations as she has had a busy week and just doesn’t have time. (Kevin’s Edit: Nikki was wrong the rest of the time including the slutty (and yummy) dress.)

I agree with Brie, Nikki is being a bitch. It doesn’t matter if the guy you are dating is never going to propose to you. It doesn’t matter if you’re not going to get married, ever. What does matter is it’s the Bride’s day, your twin sister’s day. A marriage that will only happen one time  (Kevin’s Edit: Hahhaha. It only happens once is hilarious.) and you should be ecstatic for your sister and be helping her every step of the way and not making her feel like she shouldn’t be asking for help. I agreed with Brie in that, it is her day and Nikki had no right to act that way. Nikki chose to be in the relationship that she is in and that’s her problem if she is OK with not being married. You don’t rain on other peoples weddings, you suck it up and be the best sister you can be. Even the apology was stupid. (Kevin’s Edit: The stupid apology on both’s behalf is what makes me think it’s a made up plot. No real anger either way but it’s a way to conclude the storyline.)

Our final Diva is Summer Rae. We all know how much I can’t stand her. She is a nasally, skanky hoe. We definitely see that in this episode. Summer Rae enters and we find out that she is single (go figure) and that her boyfriend of 2 years that broke up with her is getting married. She states that all the boyfriends she’s had recently are all married now, or engaged to be married, so they always marry the girl after her. Huh, do you think it’s your attitude that shows through and how desperate you are! Summer Rae tells the girls at lunch and the girls suggest she ask Fandango out as they have good chemistry on the set. (Kevin’s Edit: I have never hooked up with any ladies I worked with. I really should have at Panini’s in Kent.) Brie brings up that that is how her and Daniel met. We see a fabulous 2010 scene where Brie is talking to Daniel and Nikki walks in. (Kevin’s Edit: Fabulous? I had forgotten about that angle. Pretty sure I was annoyed he was teamed with them.) I’m just going to throw this in there, but it’s usually not a good idea to date someone from work as there is a 50/50 chance of it working or imploding.

Summer Rae decides to ask Fandango out. Well, that is great as they are both non attractive people that are extremely vain. They would be perfect for each other. They just happen to live very close to each other in Florida. She dresses skanky and he dresses like a bum and they go to a bar he frequents a lot. (Kevin’s Edit: Always a good way to say you’re trying to get some. Let’s get her drunk!) The whole night she keeps asking him personal questions and he’s like, why do you keep asking me all these questions? Summer Rae just laughs like she is trying too hard and then they proceed to do firebombs. My favorite line is when she says, I can’t decide if he is making fun of me or complimenting me. If you can’t tell, then you are blond! They go back to his place where they are strategically placed in the kitchen and pretending to be into each other. Shots of vodka, they go to the sofa where she proceeds to attack him. Not sure who cuts it off first, but they make it seem like it was her idea and he just sits there stupefied. She says she doesn’t feel the connection and it was like kissing her brother. (Kevin’s Edit: If you weren’t feeling him, why did you jump on top so quick? Storyline alert! The problem is this would work much better as a supplement to Raw/Smackdown but the viewing of this taped show is delayed so they don’t connect well.)

So Summer Rae just leaves. Yes, she just walks out! It was a very awkward moment I thought. They are seen at their next show and Fandango is asking about her about what happened and she just blows him off telling him they don’t have any chemistry and that she doesn’t want anyone to know what happened. Fandango, even though I really don’t like you, you can definitely do soooo much better than Summer Rae.

Will Summer Rae continue to be single? What’s next for Ariane and Vinnie? Will Nikki and Brie act normal toward each other in the next episode like nothing happened. Only E! Entertainment knows and I’ll be finding out next time on the 5/11 episode of Total Diva’s. – M & (Kevin)

#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 4

hawaii-beach-homesoahu

The April 20th episode was definitely an episode I didn’t think I’d witness. I actually felt like it was a bit more heartwarming than any other episode that they have filmed, though, it could be because Summer Rae wasn’t in the show at all which totally helps and there wasn’t any drama at all. Granted, there were still some completely ridiculous scenes which involved Nattie and TJ, but other than that, I actually felt for the first time the Diva’s really are normal people with everyday issues, in which you can semi-relate to on a woman’s level, so I’m sure any guy watching the episode was like, this was a stupid chick show since there wasn’t much boobs and skankiness showing up. (Kevin’s Edit: Just imagine me moving my head up and down.)

We’ll begin with Nattie and TJ as it’s the most ridiculous part of the show. So Ariane and Nikki find out that Nattie doesn’t know what Doggie Style is. Nattie get’s pretty flustered at trying to get around it but in the end, Ariane calls her sex therapist to see if she can help for Nattie and TJ. (Kevin’s Edit: I had forgotten about Ariane’s repression since she’s been hard to find this season outside of the Eva Marie pics.) Nattie says she is to busy to go see her, so she comes to their house. Upon questions about their sex life, she asks how they first got together, Nattie doesn’t seem to remember but TJ remembers the moments, really? (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t remember when I first said “I love you” to the lady. No way he remembers that.) So the sex therapist says they need to ‘sex up’ the house. She tells them different role playing to do in the different areas of the house and awkwardly suggests they leave the front door open to have sex in their entry way. (Kevin’s Edit: I suggested it in more open places.) Nattie of course declines this idea. Nattie does think this could work as Ariane and Vincent do seem to be happier since seeing the therapist. So, as we get to see in the ‘black and white footage’, Nattie has TJ be a burglar and Nattie dresses as a skanky school girl and she has TJ break into the house through an open window. I laughed out loud at this one, good gravy!(Kevin’s Edit: It was killing me she used an old outfit from a WWE shoot.)

Eva Marie hasn’t been feeling well. I feel like this story line pops up when they aren’t sure what to put into the show. Well, this time, Eva Marie’s husband, insert name I forget here (Kevin’s Edit: You think I remember this tool bag’s name?), rushes her to the hospital as she says her stomach is huge and she looks about 6 months pregnant and is peeing blood. I have to say, that is not a good sign. The doctor says she has a cyst that ruptured. I am going to wonder about this as I’ve had numerous cysts and they rupture when you have your period, they don’t normally make you pee blood. The swelling in her stomach is extra fluid, and then on a private call from the doctor (HIPPA restricted) we find out that Eva Marie has an abnormal uterus and may never be able to have kids. Eva freaks out thinking her husband is going to go nuts cause he wants lots of kids. She finally tells him and breaks down. I actually have to give the schmuck credit in this episode for being very understanding. (Kevin’s Edit: I know I called him a tool above but he didn’t make the switch to non-meat head until helping her out as much as he did.) The worst thing a woman can be told is that she won’t be able to have kids, if she wants them. I don’t see Eva Marie as a ‘mom’ but who knows down the line. So Eva’s husband calls her Mom and her mom is really ‘frosty’ on the phone throwing it back in Eva’s face that she deserted her family to be with her husband, but then her mom says they will fly out. So her parents come, this time they don’t hide his stuff, and the parents and her husband find a truce and the dad and schmuck embrace, which is totally camera acted. (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE knows when to end feuds people don’t give a care about.) It’s hard to say what is real and what is fiction in this story line, but I felt most of it was really true. Would I want to share that on TV? No way! But I guess some people don’t mind airing their laundry for a buck.

Trinity and Jon decide it’s time to get married. They have been together for 5 years and engaged for 2. Trinity really wants Jon’s dad to be there, so at Old School Raw, they approach Rikishi after his match and they tell him that they are getting married in Maui in a few days and want him to be there. After a weird silence, he starts to get emotional and blames it on the match and then says he is so happy and will be there. This makes Trinity very happy as she wants the entire family on both sides there. They rent this gorgeous place on the beach where they will stay and have the ceremony. The night before the wedding Jon’s dad is still not there. Trinity starts asking if she’s the reason he’s not coming. Jon is very quiet and then finally tells her ‘no’ it’s because he got another gig and decided to do that instead. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m just throwing this out there because I haven’t heard an official statement from Rikishi but when you don’t attend your son’s wedding because he’s marrying a black woman, it means your a racist. White people aren’t the only ones who can be racist.) Ouch! There was talk of if he wasn’t coming because Trinity is not Samoan, but Jon says that is not the case. Jey is there with them and this is the 1st time I’ve ever heard him talk but he has some very kind and encouraging words for Jon and Trinity which is very sweet. The wedding day comes, no Rikishi, Trinity’s dad cries and Trinity looks gorgeous. Jon and Trinity are both moved by the ceremony (which I don’t think is something you can just fake) and they are now married. As they walked down the aisle as man and wife the chant of I say Uce you say O going on which was silly but fun.(Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t stop laughing that of all people the Usos could be close to, it was Drew McIntyre who I think started the chant. The guy is even a tool off camera. The Usos need to pick friends that are further up the WWE food chain now that they won the tag titles.)

In the end, the show was pretty good, probably one of the better episodes I’ve seen since this show aired, but I’m sure it definitely won’t last long as I’m sure Summer Rae is getting ready for a come back at some point to add drama and nauseating skankiness to the show. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 3

I love to read. I read because I’m able to escape from the everyday routine of life and get absorbed into either a thrilling storyline filled with lots of adventure and intrigue or I get engrossed in a storyline filled with lots of laugh out loud humor and peppy characters. (Kevin’s Edit: Lady, I provide laugh out loud humor every day of the week for you.) When I think of reality TV, I think of, terrible acting, mundane story lines, and just eh TV. This is exactly what Total Diva’s brought this week. Half way through I contemplated turning off the show and just pretending to finish the article with how I thought the show should end, but alas, I watched a completely boring 42 minute episode in which I wish I could have been reading.

This episode was all about Nattie, Nikki and Trinity. I think slutty Summer Rae only had a minute in the show along with Eva Marie.

We’ll start with Trinity this time around. To no shock at all, Trinity has made a pop song and was filming a music video. Not surprised since Cameron already did a song and Trinity’s dad is a musician. The song is complete and it’s now time to film the video, but her outfit isn’t done. She get’s so upset because the rhinestones aren’t on the back of the outfit yet, that she takes her 1 piece rhinestone suit and says she will finish it herself. Well, she called in her Uncles and they managed to pull an all nighter and got it done. (Kevin’s Edit: Trinity mentioned that she had been up for nearly 2 days when filming the video. I stayed up 70 straight hours to finish a project in school then had to wait several hours for a once a week evening class that I was determined to get to. When I went to dinner before the class, I attacked my hoagie with a spork. My then girlfriend sent me home. That was a good plan.) While shooting the video, it ripped. Unsalvageable. Then, to make matters worse, the Police show up because there is confusion with the permit. Now the director is upset and is trying to get this finished! Alas, like every TV show, everything ends happily. Brodus hears the song and says he wants to send it to his contacts, and name drops Snoop Dog. Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: I must not have informed my lady that Brodus was one of Snoop’s body guards.)

Our next  Diva is Nikki. We find out in this episode that she is now a real estate agent. Huh. I would never have seen that coming. Anyway, she gets the opportunity to show a home with a fabulous ocean view. She calls John and tells him how fabulous the view is and how much she loves the house. It was definitely an awkward showing and the people left. (Kevin’s Blog: I’m not surprised she was terrible. The WWE has never shown faith in their mic skills. Looks hot twins!) John comes to visit and all of a sudden he’s being mysterious and lying about where he is and taking abrupt phone calls and on the computer and quickly closes it when Nikki walks in. She obviously thinks he’s having an affair. All I can think about is, is she really that stupid? Can they make it any more obvious? So Nikki calls him out on his supposed cheating, he doesn’t deny it. She goes to show her house again that she is truly in love with, John shows up and we find out all the sneaking around is him moving funds so he can buy her the house and he will move to California. I’m pretty sick of these 2 already because it’s stupid how she loves a house so much that he just buys is for her. Is he going to buy her EVERYTHING that she says she loves? (Kevin’s Blog: You know you’re still with me because I’m your Sugar Daddy.)

Nattie is our final diva this week. In the previous episode Summer Rae hit her across the face and now Nattie has to have surgery on her nose that will make her be out of work for 6 months for healing time. She tells Summer Rae, who she faced first after finding out the news, to stay away from her face during their match. Summer Rae doesn’t, Nattie gets pissed and kicks Summer Rae’s butt in the ring. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m positive I have told her wrestling is fake.) She decides she isn’t going to give up the TLC match, so she takes the chance of hurting her nose even more. TJ explains that it’s better to take care of yourself and all will be OK, but she doesn’t listen and takes on the match and causes more of a problem for her face. (Kevin’s Edit: Nattie toughed out another Diva’s Title loss.)

I’m not sure if I missed something or not, but as you can tell by the short recap, it was a very dull and uninspiring show. Could the WWE make it more interesting? Yes. Will they? No. Because why would they try to showcase the hard work the Diva’s put in when they can just put them in skimpy outfits, give them terrible scripts to pretend to be real about and create as much drama as possible so more people will tune in. It’s amazing how much they are making off of this disaster. All I can say is, Total Diva’s will never be readable material, and I bet sometime soon, the WWE will come out with some kind of Diva book and they will make another crap load of money off another dull project.

One more episode to go to be caught up. When is this series over? I can only keep my fingers crossed it will be very soon! (Kevin’s Edit: Hoping thi show goes away is akin to me hoping Raw stops being 3 hours. It’s not happening.) – M & (Kevin)

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