56 Days of WrestleMania – WrestleMania 2’s Best Matches: Results

To the surprise of no one, the landslide victor in WrestleMania 2 voting was the British Bulldogs vs. the Dream Team of Brutus Beefcake and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. OK, so most people don’t list “Brutus Beefcake” in their Top 850 Technical Wrestlers of All Time, but he was perfectly capable of having one-fourth of a good match on this night. Second place goes to the main event, Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy in a steel cage. Now, either due to WWE copyright restrictions or because the match really wasn’t all that good, the full contest is not available on YouTube, so as a mea culpa, let us offer you the next best thing:

Stunt Granny Poll: What wrestler are you most embarrassed to admit you once cheered for?

We sometimes pull out old VHS tapes or DVDs of past wrestling cards, and as we all know, pulling out never works. We’re often embarrassed watching the colorful characters of yesteryear uncharismatically shuffle around our 19-inch TV sets, our thumbs on the “stop” button in case someone comes into the room. Who are you most embarrassed to admit you cheered like a wildman for back in the day? We have a list above, but of course pro wrestling has brought us some of the most poorly thought-out ideas in entertainment, so the list could go on and on like Chris Jericho’s 1,004 holds. Let us know what you think!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #181

Oops, I think it's upside down...

Holy cow, it’s Dusty and Eric with another Stunt Granny Audio! The boys start off with a random assortment of brilliance, including thoughts on the Warlord, Haystacks Calhoun, Bob Geigel and more. Why are these multi-generational wrestlers on the docket? Also, what did the gents think of certain aspects of TNA Lockdown? How about this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw? Or the current storylines of two shining stars, Mark Henry and Chris Jericho? Also, the former Claudio Castagnoli, now Antonio Cesaro (with a side salad and breadsticks), made his Smackdown debut oops spoilers with William Regal at his side; what wonderful idea could this lead to (but won’t)? All this and more is a click away!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #181

Scott Steiner Pulls Back The Twitter Curtain

The following is a collection of Scott Steiner Tweets. Enjoy. – Dusty

* When these assholes got control they tried to takeover everybodys twitter page
* u didnt have twitter they made one up for U…so u people who think yur tweeting sting its not him
* He told me he doesnt watch the show.so hes not tweeting about a show he doesnt watch
* Evrybody refused to sign over twitter so every wk u get an email begging u to twitter what they want
* Got one today,Please tweet this;Hogan take over as GM wonder what he will do…WTF really
* Even if u r not on show Please tweet..so the booking team of pritchard bischoff n hogan wont book U want u to tweet about hogan
* Tweet about yurself hogan nobody else wants to tweet about u u fucking mark
* Im tweeting what they wish they could
* Wondeting what hogans going to do…hmmmm…hes a fn mark so hes going to make a couple of matches that ppl want to see
* Nothing more unprofessional than a heel wanting to be cheered
* So ppl cheer him which pissd everybody off especially sting bcuz he had to wrestle him
* Have the future of wrestling garrett do something bcuz eric told him to in booking meeting….what a fucking joke
* Now hes good but hes going to everything like he did when he was bad bcuz he was first good
* And that produced the worst ratings ever so he went bad which was just as bad as when he was good
* Then his bad wasnt any good bcuz his ratings still sucked so he turnd back to good from bad
* Wtf y’all get his bullshit ….dont forget to say BROTHER ..bcuz its fresh
* Stupid mofo
* Remember deny u had anything to do with the release of the sex tape to try n get more sales
* How kardashian of u….Homomania running wild..his shit writes itself
* His w
* His ex-wife said he was gay right!!!..hhmmm who brought in Orlando Jordan

The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 8 – So Jimmy Yang still hasn’t gotten paid

(For the 12 days leading up to Christmas, Stunt Granny will relive with you the 12 most head-slapping, dipshitty stories of 2011, the things that made us wonder why we still watch professional wrestling and support some of these dingbats. And it would have been so easy to pick on Matt Hardy here, either for his suicide video on YouTube or his DWI arrest in the foothills of Moonshine Country. Or, in a plea for more Web site hits, we could have reposted the story about Linda Bollea accusing Hulk Hogan of having gay sex with Brutus Beefcake. Instead, we chose to pick on TNA, who, despite what you might hear from Kurt Angle or Hulk Hogan or Dixie Carter or Jeff Jarrett, still can’t afford to pay its jobbers. Enter the Yang.)
(Originally posted Aug. 18, 2011) It was all downhill from here, folks.

Speaking of TNA being soaked in trailer park, they apparently have yet to pay Jimmy Yang. Here’s what I’ve been able to gather from various internet reports about this. Yang did a one-shot appearance in TNA on the June 27 Impact Wrestling taping, reviving his old Flying Elvis character. The Flying Elvises were the first thing that ever appeared in TNA, way back during the weekly pay-per-view era. I used to get all those shows, because I had a friend who was willing to go half-and-half with me, and I was so desperate at the time for an alternative to WWE. Naive young Dusty.

In any event, it’s been since then and Yang has yet to get a paycheck from TNA that doesn’t bounce like a Milwaukee Bucks basketball. So naturally, this led to an upset Yang taking the whole thing public. For some reason, that action caused TNA management to call him up and tell him he was acting unprofessionally. An enraged Yang fired back that not paying someone for their work is what is *really* unprofessional.

Look, I know I’m Anti-TNA Guy around here. My colleagues usually choose to handle TNA with more diplomacy, for reasons that are lost on me. But I don’t think there’s any way to sugar coat this. This is TNA failing on an epic, public scale. Stuff like this is only going to serve to encourage released WWE performers to ply their trade in Japan or elsewhere overseas. TNA is the Little Engine That Absolutely Can’t But Insists On Continuing Anyway. – Dusty

Day 1: Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight
Day 2: Bret Hart on Twitter, put the letter “S” in front of the wrong word 
Day 3: IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002
Day 4: Triple H leading WWE new talent development
Day 5: Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out
Day 6: Jeff Hardy tases a woman
Day 7: IWA-MS is bakk, Ric Flair is in debt, Sin Cara is suspended

Stunt Granny Audio #161

Eric makes a triumphant return as he teams up with Jeremy in this edition of Stunt Granny Audio. The boys discuss the latest happenings behind the scenes of TNA or is it Impact Wrestling. How does the influx of new talent to the talent relations and booking staff matter?  How the hell do you possibly add more talent to the active roster? Did you know TNA has at least fifty active competitors already? Who could they possibly bring in that would matter in the least bit? Just why anyone thinks things will change as long as Hulk Hogan is in charge and he is in charge.  They also manage to talk some WWE with Mason Ryan and his creepy hair. Also, how has CM Punk gotten over the elbow drop? Yeah it’s a short segment but whatever. Check it out!

Stunt Granny Show #161

Linda Hogan says Hulk banged Brutus Beefcake. Um, what?

Linda Hogan is a horrible bitch. Let’s just get this out of the way now. She literally did nothing with her life but sit around and be Hulk Hogan’s wife. Then she alleges abuse, depression, fear, bullying, blah, blah, blah. So she writes a book, “Wrestling the Hulk” and it tanks. So clearly she is desperate for attention and the appearances on Opie & Anthony and The Today Show have dried up. So what does she do, she goes on as a guest for the “Matty P’s Radio Happy Hour”.

On the show she says her source of “a little bird” told her that Hulk Hogan fucked Brutus Beefcake.  She was asked about The Ultimate Warrior’s comments on her being passed around to different wrestlers and she said she doesn’t know the Ultimate Warrior nor does she know his real name. She then went on to say she thought he was gay.

Clearly this hag has issues with gay people. She is trying to demonize people for their sexual preference. She is seemingly a true old school wrestler. If you are gay that makes you bad.

Here’s the real issue with all of this speculation; Brutus Beefcake isn’t good looking. If you are Hulk Hogan and you want to have sex with a male friend of yours why Brutus? Is he that much of a yes man you know he is an easy lay? Even then, couldn’t you find someone way more appealing that wanted the story to say they had some sort of contact with Hogan’s donger? -Jeremy

Hulk Hogan to take stories on road, Ultimate Warrior’s head explodes

hulk hogan

They're not paying him to listen, they're paying him to talk!

And to show how much more people care about that lying, stinking, rotten Hulk Hogan than they do the pious, sinless, holier-than-thou, do-no-wrong, follow-my-Destrucity first-stone-caster Ultimate Warrior, according to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan has signed with The Agency Group to produce a new stage show called “In Conversation: Outside the Ring with Hulk Hogan.” Hogan and some of his friends, lackeys and mules like Greg Valentine, Brian Knobbs and Brutus Beefcake (in that order?) have gone on mini-tours and one-offs in 2010 under the name “Hulk Hogan and Friends,” appearing at small theaters to take questions from audience members, clips from which have popped up on YouTube. Dot Net says this new tour will feature:

“about an hour of semi-scripted stories and behind-the-scenes stuff, synced up with video and pictures, stuff that he wants to share with his fans and will be exciting for them to hear from him — personal stories, stories about matches and his career.”

This sounds interesting to some extent, and believe it or not, I would go to this if it came to Des Moines. But probably not West Des Moines. Hogan has lived 10 lives in the wrestling business and has done and experienced more backstage and in front of audiences than John Cena can ever wish upon his jean shorts for, potentially making for a fun hour of performance. Ultimate Warrior, on the other hand, is a coattail-riding piece of shit who had one match with Orlando Jordan in 2008 that translated into nothing at all, yet he has the gall to say Hogan, who still makes lots of money to this day, turns everything into shit. So I’m sure this Hogan news will send Warrior spiraling further into the filthy depths of social media (and will probably have Jake Roberts wondering if anyone will trade him an hour’s worth of stories for an eight-ball). -Eric

Hulk Hogan shows off back tattoo, scars in no-name Canada town

GEEEEYIKES, what the hell is that?? It looks like a little kid with scissors and crayons went nuts on a broken leather couch!

According to the MadMic23 blog (by way of Prowrestling.net; click both links to get the full stories), Hulk Hogan appeared in something called Brantford, Ontario this past Saturday to interfere in a six-man tag featuring his friends Virgil (Wrestling Superstar), the Nasty Boys and Fat Brutus Beefcake. Blah blah blah, Beefcake gets double-teamed by the Nasty Boys, blah blah blah, Hogan makes the save, tears off his shirt, and… OH MY GOD! Jesus Christ, cover that shit up! Almost 300 fans in Brantford were treated to a view of Hogan’s new tattoo, which faintly reads “IMMORTAL” in some awful garage-metal-band font across his shoulders, and two surgery scars flanked by a bunch of loose skin on his back. Don’t you just want to grab a handful?

In other news, this show also featured such legends as X-Pac, Tatanka, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash (total bump count: 9, all from Sean Waltman). If you needed any more proof that Canada is about 16 years behind even Des Moines, Iowa, this show is it. -Eric

PWO – Season 3 – Episode 2

Take a guess who's in the main event?

Bobby Shields was accompanied to ringside by Sex Appeal, Bobby Beverly, Nicky Valentino and Dawn Decadence. Shields took on Ben Fruth, one of Mike Tolar’s lackies. Shields took down Fruth easily and then paint brushed him. Fruth returned the favor when Shields took him lightly. Joe Dombrowski said that Aaron Draven was supposed to wrestle Shields but the doctors sent him home because of his injured ribs. Fruth got a close call on a roll up. “The Body” hit a “Gorey Special” for the victory. Sex Appeal hit a triple super kick on Fruth after the match.

Analysis: Fruth look better in the ring than I expected. His size (tall and really skinny) along with ridiculous ring gear don’t help his look though. A pink tiger striped shirt shouldn’t be combined with red and black pants. Shields looked solid but needs to either stop the posing or hit the gym more.

Gregory Iron said that next week he’s ready to take on Bobby Beverly. He told Beverly that he should go get a tattoo of broken bones because that’s what he’ll have after the match next week.

Analysis: It could have been a little smoother (he seemed to slow on the second part of the promo) but it was fine.

Benjamin Boone, with N8 Mattson, took on Michael “The Bomber” Facade, who is a graffiti artist. Dombrowski said to expect high octane offense  him. They exchanged some basic moves. Facade hit a second rope drop kick.  He kept kicking Boone’s legs to cut him down to size. Boone rolled outside the ring. Facade came through the middle ropes with a drop kick.  Boone caught him on a cross body and rammed Facade into the ring post then the guard rail. Boone tossed Facade outside the ring, then distracted the ref so that Mattson could attack Facade.  Boone clamped on a bear hug.Facade took Boone down with an inverted DDT.  Facade hit some more kicks and a head stomp.Facade got a near fall off a spring board spinning heel kick. Matson interfered and knocked Facade off the top rope. Boone then applied the “Bear Claw” which is a double claw to the head. Facade passed out in the move.

Analysis: Fucking seriously? A “Bear Claw”? For fuck’s sakes. Plus, it’s not a good idea to have someone debuting and losing. Granted, Mattson interfered but I’m still not a fan of the idea unless Facade isn’t sticking around for long.

Hailey Hatred said she stepped up her game against Portia Perez in their second match and is ready for another match if that’s what Portia wants. Until that time, she’s open to all challengers, both men and women.

Analysis: Nothing special but I’m not a fan of the inter-gender matches. Hatred is pretty big though so she might not look too bad against some of the guys on the PWO roster.

They re-aired Joe Dombowski’s interview with Johnny Gargano from last week. We were then greeted by Mike Tolar and a grin-tastic Ben Fruth holding the microphone for him. Tolar said that Bob Golic had the nerve to put his hands on Tolar at Wrestlelution. He would have taken him out if Tolar weren’t so focused on Matt Cross. Tolar said he could have beaten Josh Prohibition and that means he can beat Gargano. Tolar said Fruth is the only one who can beat him because of the knowledge he imparted on him. Tolar said Gargano’s “Coming of Age” will be over because he will be the new PWO Heavyweight Champion.

Analysis: The goofiness with Fruth made sense and reinforced his dick head status but I think it hindered the promo itself. It got Tolar off track which is showing his determination to win the PWO Title.

Hobo Joe talked with Jason Bane and said that they could be best friends like Aaron Maguire and he were. Bane said he’s not a comedy act so they need to get ready for their match.

Analysis: This team could work well since Bane could always be in the Title picture. Bane can play the straight man while Joe does all of the funny stuff.

The Dream Team, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine & Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, took on the Clash, Brian Bender & Earnie Ballz, for the PWO Tag Team Titles. Beefcake went solo since Valentine was still injured.  Aaron Maguire had left the announce booth for a reason that Dombrowski didn’t know. The Clash jumped Beefcake when he handed his ring jacket to Valentine. Bender started that match for the The Clash.  Ballz got tagged in and continued the assault.  The Clash tagged in and out frequently. Beefcake took over with some clothes lines. Everyone cheered when he hit a double noggin knocker. Ballz got back dropped to the outside. Ballz tried to use the crutch, but Beefcake caught him and used it against him. Bender got on the microphone and said that Beefcake used the crutch. Tom Dunne, senior official, came to the ring and disqualified The Dream Team because they used the crutch.

Analysis: The match was solid with only three participants. I’m not a fan of the referee making a change in the outcome but the Clash are the only real tag team PWO has now so it makes sense to me.

Final Analysis: Shields vs. Fruth +1, Iron promo 0, Boone vs. Facade -1, Hatred promo 0, Tolar promo +1, Joe & Bane promo +1, Dream Team vs. The Clash +1. Total 3/7

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