Hulk Hogan wins the first battle. Weilds a large pimp hand.

Yet another national crisis has nearly come to end dear readers. No I am not talking about Frankenstorm Sandy , I am referring to the litigation involved in the Hulk Hogan Sex tape. Hulk Hogan has reportedly come to a settlement with Bubba The Love Sponge according to TMZ. Terms were not disclosed but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Hogan is still suing Gawker and Heather Clem. As a reminder the lawsuit is for $100 million. If Hogan wins this suit this could be the most expensive and haunting penis this woman has ever received.

But really how awesome is Hulk Hogan? Not only does his old wrinkled ass get to bang out a young hot broad but now he is suing her directly for a cash settlement?  Hulk Hogan’s pimp hand has to be as large as his schlong. This old bastard has no right soiling this young woman’s vag but he does and he does himself proud. Now he is turning around expecting her to pay up because they taped the deed and it somehow leaked out for the entire world to see. We should all be so lucky.

I do not understand the big deal. When I am Hogan’s age and some sweet young cooz wants to suckle on the dong of fame then by all means go ahead. Just give me a copy so I can show the rest of the gang here at Stunt Granny. Hell, I would rent out an Imax theater and stretch that shit out to make it fit. (See what I did there?) -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio #204

With a Presidential debate and a Major League Baseball playoff game going on around them, our intrepid heroes Kevin and Dusty are focused on one thing, and one thing only: the major happenings of the last week in the world of professional wrestling! The two contemplate who would have been a better choice to lead the Aces and Eights group in TNA. Would anyone in the known universe have been a better choice than poor, mediocre Devon? They talk about the ponderous Hulk Hogan sex tape, and how HH is no longer b-fri’s with notorious wife swapper Bubba the Love Sponge. Is Jeff Hardy the right choice to lead TNA as its World Heavyweight Champion, or is he a ticking time bomb that you should never put in such a prominent position? Dusty makes his sales pitch for Ryback winning the WWE title, and Kevin is *almost* buying. And the fearless duo finishes things off with a Mount Rushmore of Wrestling Tough Guys, as the backdrop to the alleged altercation between Harley Race and Vader this past week. And a whole lot more nuggets of golden awesomeness, so listen!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #204

Stunt Granny Audio #203

Kevin and Dusty are at the helm for this edition of Stunt Granny Audio, and what an edition it is! The two heroes are momentarily distracted by Dusty’s A’s destroying Jeremy’s Tigers, but are eventually able to turn their attentions towards the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. Both Brian Gewirtz and Jim Cornette lost their jobs as head writers for WWE and ROH, respectively. What is the fall out going to be for those two promotions? Can we expect tangible changes, or are these just superficial changes that won’t really incur actual changes unless other moves are made? CM Punk had showdowns with both Vince McMahon and a fan on this past Monday’s Raw. Can a slap really reverberate to the knee, or is the fan just looking to get his sue on? Is it ridiculous for Vince McMahon to be standing toe-to-toe with a top wrestler? TNA’s salary information got leaked on the internet mysteriously. We agree that it’s fun to just gossip about things you’re not really supposed to know. Who is overpaid? Who is underpaid? Will Kurt Angle be heading back to WWE anytime soon? Dave Batista made his MMA debut recently. Is he in it for the long haul or is he just trying to keep his name out there until Vince takes him back? Will he actually be successful at this endeavor? Would he stand any kind of chance whatsoever against Brock Lesnar in a shoot? And finally, much like walking in on your parents as they are, you know, getting busy, the Hulk Hogan sex tape is something you see that you can never ever unsee. But it’s news, so we have to talk about. And you can listen to it by downloading the link, so you better do that immediately.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #203

All Hail Hulk Hogans Sex Tape

Get on the bed and blow me already.

Today is the realization of two items finally being crossed off of my list of “shit you never know you wanted to see?” Recently I was able to scratch off seeing an albino African American child who just so happened to have Down syndrome. I witnessed a real life “clown car” empty with nothing but dwarves, eight of them. But this, just this, beats them both for now.   Yes, getting that elusive check mark is a real life clown having sex with a good looking woman and, wait this may be the same thing; Hulk Hogan pulling out his doinker and laying some pipe. Thanks to the people at Gawker we have a clip.

Finally pieces of the hulk Hogan sex tape have been released and it doesn’t disappoint. Well, it kind of does but hen, well, yuck. It isn’t even sexy.  It contains the sexiness of a battered bag lady drenched in sour milk fellating a 4 day old corpse.  If you want, feel free and check it out but seeing Hogan’s leathery bags of milk he calls an ass pucker as he gets blown is not for everyone.

Maybe expectations were too high but then isn’t everything when it comes to wrestling now? Would anything short of a full on thirty-minute ass dildoing have been satisfying? Where is the god damn money shot brother? Instead we get some standard issue boinking and afterwards the unsexiest  conversation ever after sex. Hogan talks about his kid Nick and how he ate so much he was surprised he could go at all. This mixed with after coitus conversation of how his son’s girlfriend’s twin sister wanted to be the first to “date” Hogan.

In review, Hogan got blown, laid some pipe, complained about being full from a meal, bitched about the time and then bragged about how some other chick wanted to fuck him immediately after getting divorced. How pimp is that?

Side note:  The woman in the video is reported to be the ex-wife of Bubba The Love Sponge, Heather Clem. She is actually pretty good looking. The issue here is that Bubba doesn’t have the courtesy to watch his girl get banged out. If this is what Bubba is in to then by all means have fun but dude, at least watch and jerk it or something? Have some fun with it. Maybe you could learn from the Hulkster or something. In other words; be a man about it.  -Jeremy

If He Moved In On Someone’s Couch And Didn’t Help With The Rent, Would He Be Bubba The Sponge?

This one's for you, Bubba!

So this story makes my eyes glaze over in a froth of indifference, but it has a happy ending that woke me out of my coma, so here goes. I’ll just cut to the chase here, because I don’t want to have to kill myself.

So Bubba the Love Sponge saw fukk hati. This made Awesome Kong really angry. Awesome Kong got fired by TNA because they are a comedy show at this point and not a real wrestling company. So then I guess Bubba called her up during his radio show and harrassed her there, and that finally got Bubba fired. (Notice it wasn’t the lack of any discernible talent that did him under.)

So but then Iron Sheik had an opinion about it, and because Iron Sheik is my hero, this made me actually care about this whole non-story. Here’s Sheik’s Twitter, for the latest on his opinions on Bubba: http://twitter.com/the_ironsheik – Dusty

Awesome Kong Officially Gone From TNA

No this isn’t Wrestlemania 26 related but it is importnat  even if it was from last week. So, according to her twitter by way of Prowrestlingnet, Dixie Carter has confirmed that Awesome Kong is gone from TNA.

Due to personal reasons, Kong asked for/was granted an early release from her contract,” Carter wrote. “We support her during this time and hope she is back soon.

Now based off of this quote it appears that Kong has some things to attend to away from Wrestling. You can only reason that those things are contacting WWE and getting a job. TNA messed this one up from the get go. They let a piece of shit like Bubba The Love Sponge ruin his mouth and when she handled things the old school way they did nothing about it. They let a talented and marketable wrestler walk instead of firing a tubby nothing.

Good move Dixie, hopefully the .8 rating you now receive is good enough. Gotta figure Bubba is bringing in about .0000000000007 of that rating. Eventually that has to help right?

As for Kong, she won’t go without work for long and personally, of course, seeing her in a WWE ring would be aces. She automatically stands out and has an actual physical opponent in Beth Phoenix as well as built in beauty feuds with Maryse and Michelle McCool. Oh and lets not forget WWE also has Gail Kim dwindling away. What better way to get her going again?

Bubba The Love Sponge Threatens To Kill Awesome Kong?

Oh Really?

God damn Bubba The Love Sponge fucking sucks. According to Prowrestling.net, Awesome Kong (Kia Stevens) has filed a lawsuit against the rotund radio host for calling her on Feb 10th and threatening, in a fun way, to kill her. You can read the quote from the link. There is a problem since the caller ID was blocked so no number shows up, but I totally believe Kong in all she says. See, Bubba is a talentless nobody who has a job based on Howard Stern having the need for additional content on his XM channel at one time. He got his foot in with TNA due to Hulk Hogan and then proceeded to rip on Haiti. When confronted by Kong she embarrassed him.

Now, Bubba says it wasn’t him calling since Kong claims the call was made while on the air at 5:08 am and his show doesn’t broadcast until 6 am. Here’s the thing. While it may not have been on air, and why would it, Bubba would still be at the office around that time to , you know, prepare. He also claims to have witnesses to his every movement from 4:5o am and on. I speak for all of us here at Stunt Granny in offering, ewwwwww.

This really comes down to Bubba trying to get his name out there again since it has been an entire two weeks of no headlines about his conduct. He has been a disaster since getting in to TNA and shows more poor judgment on the company’s part. He is becoming a distraction, whether this turns out to be true or not, and it’s time to cut ties. His contributions to the Impact broadcast are minimal and his name value is tarnished if that was even possible. – Jeremy

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