Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live & Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

The mighty Kent State Golden Flashes have beaten the #1 ranked Florida Gators to bounce them from the College World Series. I didn’t think I could feel better than last week after the win in Eugene but I do. I didn’t like our chances today but the bats came alive and Ryan Borges pitched just well enough to eek out a 5-4 win, no thanks to the bull pen that couldn’t throw a strike. They probably won’t win the title, but it feels good to get a win especially over the Gators. Time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

Only five more weeks before I gauge my eyes out with three hour Raw on a weekly basis. I thought the Cyndi Lauper rumor, was just, you know, a rumor. Mick Foley comes out with a suit on. Why does it take so long for this moronic board to pick someone? He announces a dull tag team match with Kane & Daniel Bryan against Sheamus & CM Punk. Johnny Wooden GM comes out for his farewell address. Oh no, it isn’t his farewell address. Sheamus comes out next. Ah, and CM Punk. Good timing for them.

Kane & Daniel Bryan make their entrances after the break and of course a replay of AJ jumping into Kane’s arms. 211 days for a title reign for Punk. It doesn’t seem like it since Cena is in the majority of PPV. After helping my neighbor who locked herself out of her condo, I’m back to watching this match. Nights rarely run smoothly around here. Of all days that I’d want Baby Momma Drama to not be around, it’d be today so of course he is here. Heels winning at the break. No shock.

Sheamus comes in on the hot tag. He uses his power even against Kane. Bryan gets in the unseen drop kick. Sheamus gets the second round of selling. Even the none wrestling fans notice the quality of Punk and Bryan in the ring. AJ comes out, skips around in a mini-Kane outfit then leaves. Brogue Kick for the win.

Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler are arguing with each other. Vickie wants them to make peace. Johnny & David Otunga are bagging on Mick Foley when Big Show arrives. Big Show angry. Otunga needs the suit or dress shirt on to be drinking out of the coffee cup. Ziggler is taking on Swagger for Vickie’s heart. Missed that part earlier.

Swagger barely gets his entrance after the commercial. Dolph is going to get in trouble for the Flair strut. Swagger attacks Dolph’s “injury”.  Ziggler pulls out a very baby face win. We’re not sure what Vickie is wearing. It’s a poncho with short shorts with a napkin design. It is not working. We get a replay of HHH’s challenge. Limo arrives so time for a commercial to make us anticipate absolutely nothing.

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Captain Lou Update

RIP, big guy.

RIP, big guy.

According to Dave Scherer:

We have just received word that legendary WWF star Captain Lou Albano has passed away.  Lou was a true classic and someone who was instrumental in the WWF’s rise from a regional company to a national promotion.  He will be missed.

We at Stunt Granny wish to send our deepest condolences to his friends and family.

Something of some description is wrong with Captain Lou

First person to build a time machine back to 1987 and call that hotline wins a years subscription to the Torch.

First person to build a time machine back to 1987 and call that hotline wins a year's subscription to the Torch.

Former WWE Diva Dawn Marie issued the following press release regarding Captain Lou Albano.

Speaking on behalf of the Albano family, Wrestler’s Rescue is sad to report that Captain Lou Albano has fallen ill, and is currently at home with his family under hospice care.

Albano is not suffering from cancer, according to his family. While the family is grateful for the in pour of affection, please respect their privacy during these tough times.

Wrestler’s Rescue is collecting donations to be forwarded to the Albano family for medical expenses.

For more information, go to WrestlersRescue.org.
or email questions to WrestlersRescue@aol.com.

Could you be less specific?

I can verify at this time that Captain Lou definitely did not get a sexually transmitted disease from having sexual relations with local sheep. I don’t know how these rumors get started, but I am here to once and for all put an end to them. Seriously, this is like on Survivor a couple weeks back when Ben was talking about how “certain people” in the tribe were saying things about Ashley and “it definitely wasn’t Russell.” Like, ooookaaaayyy.

So I have no clue if Captain Lou has cancer or doesn’t have cancer, whether he’s autistic, has a broken leg, has a sinus infection, has an STD, what have you, but I can definitely report beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was the worst manager I have ever seen. He was the absolute pits. And, now there’s something wrong with him. Or something. So yeah. – Dusty

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