Buff Bagwell reportedly in car accident, Handsome Stranger unharmed

Longtime Stunt Granny readers know that sometimes we post items just to get page views, and this story is no different. For some reason, one of our top searches is “car accident,” and I can’t think of a relevant car accident since Nick Bollea and John Leguizamo or whatever his name was, so I’ll give you something to cry about: According to Prowrestling.net, Buff Bagwell was hospitalized after a car accident and is currently in intensive care. This, according to the UCW promotion’s Twitter account. Hey, if anyone is going to know what Marcus Alexander Bagwell from Sprayberry High School in Marietta, Ga., is up to, it’s a promotion out of Atlanta. However, this is the same Buff Bagwell who callously faked a neck injury in, well, one of the funniest angles in WCW history, so who’s to say?

Anyway, here’s hoping Bert Prentice’s lap wasn’t as badly injured in the accident. M I RITE? Is this thing on? -Eric

John Cena in car accident

According to WWE.com John Cena was in a car accident as he made the local news rounds in Philadelphia. We good? Need more details? Seriously what the fuck am I supposed to say? He got rear-ended and everyone is fine. This is possibly the least interesting story that has ever graced this site. Keep calm and carry on. Or rise up in a panic. I don’t really care.
In case you are interested here is the Facebook page J Spinelli & Sons. This is the company that caused the accident. Enjoy. -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 9/3/11

1. Kevin Nash- The build for Kevin Nash and CM Punk has been pretty good. So they naturally schedule the match. Then he apparently fails a health test through WWE. Um, shouldn’t someone have had that done before they pushed him on TV? – Jeremy

2. John Cena- After weeks of solid promo work he is slowly reverting to the John Cena despised by so many. Maybe it is the people he is working with, but falling back on bad breath jokes is totally his fault. – Jeremy

3. Alberto del Rio – Rumor has it (rumor has it rumor has it) rumor has it that Alberto del Rio, the overpushed man recently crowned as WWE Champion, missed this week’s Monday Night Raw and Smackdown supershows due to visa problems. Um, shouldn’t someone have had that done before they pushed him on TV? – Eric
 
4. Shane Helms – The former Hurricane (and formerly relevant pro wrestler) either started or was the impetus for a recent Twitter hashtag, #BlameItOnTheShane, inspired by some idiot he knows who has been fucking up his life around every corner. But of course the people that guy surrounds himself with have nothing whatsoever to do with the man’s sonic-boom-creating tailspin. Nope, nothing at all. – Eric
 
5. Michael McGillicutty – Is it surprising that WWE focused on the intense staredown between David Otunga and, of all people, Jerry Lawler this past Monday night on Raw, yet McGillicutty, for a potential repackaging and name change, is the one who’s in the news? Oh, it’s not surprising? Well then, carry on. – Eric

6. Oops, We Did It Again – Randy Orton and Christian wrestled for something like the 90th time in the last three months and still had another good match. Usually, I burn out on a feud like this one but these guys have had so many different types of matches that each one feels different. It seems like the feud is over so let’s hope they don’t bury Christian now because the WWE needs strong heels. – Kevin

7. Fuck Matt Hardy – I’m hoping that my sitemates stand by me and stop posting the gibberish that this hillbilly creates. I’m tired of his antics. He wants attention and we’re giving him way too much of it. He hasn’t been reborn any of the times he’s said it before. I’m done with him until someone is dumb enough to give him a job in a wrestling company. -Kevin

8. Kevin Goes To Raw – This coming week’s “Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw” will be coming to you live since I will be in attendance. So join me on Twitter (@Stuntgranny) as I tweet my way through Raw from the live perspective. If you happen to be strolling down to Columbus on the holiday, find me in Section 102, Row T, Seat 18. With the long weekend, I might even try to make a sign pimping Stunt Granny. – Kevin

9. Johnny K-9 – Apparently former Smoky Mountain Wrestler superstar Johnny K-9 is a murderer.

Hamilton wrestler ‘Johnny K-9’ a member of B.C. gang

August 29, 2011 20:08:00
Peter Edwards
Staff Reporter

A former pro wrestler from Hamilton is a member of a gang now linked to the slaying of B.C. gang leader Jonathan Bacon earlier this month.

Ion Croitoru, 47, who wrestled professionally under the name “Johnny K-9,” is a member of the United Nations criminal gang, according to police in British Columbia.

Bacon, 30, was gunned down on Aug. 14, 2011, outside a Kelowna, B.C., resort. Four others with him were wounded, including a woman who was paralyzed.

No one has yet been charged in his death.

Croitoru was already in custody for a plot to kill Bacon and his two brothers between Jan. 1, 2008 and Feb. 17, 2009.

On Monday, Amir Eghtesad, 29, also a member of the United Nations gang, appeared in a Vancouver court charged with conspiracy to kill Bacon, his brothers and their gang associates.

Police say the Bacons form the core of a gang heavily involved in drugs and guns trafficking. He and his youngest brother, Jamie, had survived previous assassination attempts.

Croitoru is also awaiting trial for first-degree murder in the shooting death of Jonathan Barber, 24, and the attempted murder of Vicky King. On May 9, 2008, Barber was driving a car believed to be owned by a gang leader when he was killed in Burnaby, B.C. King, then 17, was shot in the car she was driving behind her boyfriend, police said.

And in June 2006, Croitoru walked free from a Hamilton courtroom after the Crown’s case in a marathon double murder collapsed.

Croitoru, former president of the Hamilton chapter of the Satan’s Choice Motorcycle Club, had been charged with the execution-style slaying of Ancaster criminal lawyer Lynn Gilbank and her husband Fred in their home in 1998.

The Gilbanks murders remain unsolved.

Hamilton hitman Ken Murdock told the Star last year that he was offered a contract from a Hamilton mob family to kill Croitoru but didn’t carry it out.

Murdock was convicted of the Niagara Region contract killings of mobsters Johnny (Pops) Papalia and Carmen Barillaro in 1997.

Croitoru was kicked out of the Satan’s Choice club for undisclosed reasons before they folded into the larger Hells Angels club in 2000.
http://www.thestar.com/mobile/NEWS/article/1046565

Is Ion a popular name anywhere? – Dusty

 10. Todd Grisham – This might be the very last time we ever mention him on Stunt Granny. We wish him a very fond, sincere, very heartfelt adieu. – Dusty

11. Santino Marella – Apparently he got into a car accident or something. I’m on 83 different message boards and none of them had a post about it as of yesterday afternoon. I didn’t find out until Eric text messaged me something about it last night. Whatever, I couldn’t possibly care less. Couldn’t happen to a nicer douchebag. – Dusty

Macho Man Randy Savage dies in car accident

We love you too, Randy.

Wow. Just simply wow. According to Prowrestling.net, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, 58, died in a car accident Friday in Tampa, Fla. A report on TMZ.com says Savage had a heart attack while driving, causing the crash.

Jeremy said no jokes here, but I can’t help but to make a few observations. 1) Whatever issue Vince McMahon had with Savage that  kept Savage out of the WWE Hall of Fame ought to be wiped out now, but damn if that wouldn’t have been an awesome acceptance speech. And since Miss Elizabeth isn’t around to accept, either, I guess that leaves “Leaping” Lanny Poffo to recite a posthumous poem for us all. 2) Of all the people, of all the young deaths and of all the randomness when it comes to pro wrestling fatalities, how the hell is Jake “The Snake” Roberts still alive? I don’t think a nuclear holocaust, this Saturday’s judgment day or a nasty case of chicken pox could even affect this sweatpants-wearing freak of nature. 3) I guess this makes the “Where’s Randy Savage” blog irrelevant now. 4) Watch this match:

Shawn Michaels Uses Swear Words

I bet the dude who hit Michaels was sweating nearly this badly.

According to Shawn Michaels’ Twitter:

The fam&I got hit by a drunk driver 2nite @50mph.All r OK. I did however jerk him out of his seat quite abruptly&say”bad” words;-)
Perhaps, like Aaron Altman falling in love with Jane Craig, perhaps I buried the lead there. Perhaps this sort of thing happens every day. Perhaps swearing in front of children is the real news here. – Dusty

Nick Hogan is here to chew bubblegum and get into car accidents…

Izeye gizot izinto anizother izzaccident!

…and he’s all out of bubblegum, baby! From TMZ.com:

Nick Hogan was involved in a minor car accident last night in downtown Los Angeles. There were no injuries. Police came to the scene, but no report was taken. He was coming back from a charity event to raise money for an organization called Keep It On The Track that teaches people to drive safely. Yes, really.
Don’t tell mizom!
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