Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

American_757_on_final_approach_at_St_Maarten_AirportI’ll be shoving off on a Disney cruise with the whole DiFrango clan. Our first stop will be St. Maarten, pictured above. We will obviously be coming on a different mode of transportation than shown. Should be fun. And also a reason this week will be a little strange. Always a busy week before vacation. Hopefully, the lady & I will get to review Total Divas this week. It was a casualty of laying out our wardrobe last night. Raw will not on that hit list. Let’s roll.

Steph gets to kick off the show. Oh goodie. She shows us his make over. Nice of Daniel Bryan to fake chew the steak. Nothing drastic changed since they kept his beard & hair. It is a decent suit. I think he trimmed the beard or maybe he just combed it. Just mentioned the scraggly beard, so maybe not. Bryan is a wrestler not an entertainer. Nice shot at his first firing. His plan is to get Cena to tap at Summerslam. Vince McMahon comes down to talk make over which is ironic considering his choice in suits within the last decade, at least. The good old, negative is a positive promo again. Vince wants to shave the beard now. Wade Barrett is the barber for some unexplained reason. I would imagine it was to make him look even worse than he has recently. This is a perfect example of what Dusty & I talked about last week, how did Vince say to himself “I’m going to be in the best segment on Raw.”? Just awful. At least his part. Bryan had a good solo promo.

RVD gets a rematch against Alberto Del Rio. Justin Roberts has to intro Ricardo Rodriguez. Thank you for coming back. The Miz is on the mic. He’s back to running down Bryan because he wears a suit. Maybe that’s why you’re on a head set and he’s challenging for the WWE Title which will never see your waist again. They love having RVD miss the 1st Rolling Thunder for some reason. Rodriguez costs Del Rio the match. RVD gets the scissors pin. If you’re Christian, you’re taking notes? Really Miz. What do those thoughts consist of “Have opponent’s manager fuck up. Capitalize on mistake.” Wow, they really went over the top with the beat down. We’re back to Roberts. I hate you again Del Rio. The fact that neither Jerry Lawler nor Mitchell Cool are jumping all over JBL’s angle on Del Rio is pathetic.

Cody Rhodes has a gift for Damien Sandow. The breifcase has a water spot below it. Did he keep it in water the whole time? No way the interior of the suitcase didn’t dry out two weeks later. We’ve been getting a whole lot of video packages. Of course the stupid thing has sea weed in it. Damien Sandow comes down and tries to barter. The segment gets no response. JBL makes a good point about stolen property but yet again his partners have got nothing of substance.

Mark Henry and Ryback are going back at it in a Wrestlemania rematch. Ryback decides to get counted out. That was a waste of a segment.

The Bellas brag about looking hot and the ratings. Eva Marie comes in and sucks up to the Bellas. Natalya is back to talk. She slaps Brie and walks out. They’re holding Jojo down! John Cena comes out to talk about Daniel Bryan. He rebuts his points. He wouldn’t tarnish the WWE by going to a smaller league. Cena can’t get a “You can’t wrestle” chant going when he wants to. The “Boring” chant is unwarranted. Good stuff so far. Cena closes well too. Randy Orton comes down before Cena can leave. Fun little promo by Orton saying the Champ is Here with the briefcase. The Shield comes down. Bryan makes the save, right? Not even a save. Brad Maddox makes his first appearance. We got ourselves a main event.

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