Jeremy’s Blog: Enough With This Hero Cat Nonsense

So have you seen the incredible video of a cat saving a child from a dog mauling? The video that has taken up valuable space on all news sources over the last few days? The video that has craftily pushed aside news about the atrocities the United States Government has perpetrated on returning war vets? It makes sense though because who doesn’t love a hilarious animal video?  But does this video and the ensuing attention bestowed upon it really deserve it? Why has this cat been labeled a hero?

This cat, Tara, is absolutely no hero at all. Yes the dog was seemingly attacking the child and someone or something needed to intervene. It just so happens the cat was in the area. It isn’t wearing a cape or mask to conceal its identity. It wasn’t using super hearing. It was doing what cats always do; it was being a dick.

The cat was just exhibiting typical cat behavior and acting selfishly. It saw the dog trying to play with the child and had to butt its whiskered nose in to the situation.  The jealous streak of this “hero” is on full display. Tara possibly wanted to play with Jeremy and wanted to make sure nothing else interfered.  Of course this isn’t true because cats are solitary creatures demanding that human beings do whatever it is for the sake of the cat. It is not a reciprocal relationship.

Notice after the dog was unnecessarily forced away the cat goes back to ignoring the child while the mother runs to embrace the boy to ensure Tara didn’t ruin his playtime. Yes, the cat was just being a dickhead and scared off the dog to satisfy its own lust for self-satisfaction. Nothing else will challenge Tara’s grip on her territory.

But really Tara the Hero Cat was doing nothing but what is its very nature. It was being a total, selfish, arrogant and consummate dickhead. It didn’t care about the young boy in the least. Look at the video and it is clear the cat had no intention of protecting the kid at all. All it was doing was bullying this poor dog. It was protecting its own space from outside intruders. The boy was already part of its set rules and thus was allowed to be in that designated area. The old adage of cats vs dogs is on full display as well.

It is moronic to call this cat a hero. It is even more moronic to plaster the cat, its owners and the young boy all over the internet and television. In the same span of time at the gym in the mornings I have the opportunity to simultaneously view, CBS Good Morning, Fox and Friends, The Today Show and Good Morning America. Every single one of these shows repeatedly showed this video.

The Today show and Fox & Friends had separate interviews with the family. In each interview the family held on to Tara for fear it would get loose and attack a grip on set.  The cat seemed disinterested in everything around it but being a cat it was naturally planning a course of escape or worse yet carnage. The family did not once acknowledge that the bundle of burden fur in the wife’s lap as a possible cause of their calamity.

Making matters worse, Tara received increased exposure by being granted the task of tossing out the first pitch for the Bakersfield Blaze minor-league club. It was an embarrassing spectacle that has finally and utterly devalued the first pitch before baseball games forever. Then again it is minor-league baseball and they will do anything for promotion. So, Bakersfield is excused in this calamity.

So let’s review. This “hero” cat “saved” young Jeremy Triantafilo by doing what comes naturally to a cat; being a total dick. It is then rewarded by constant media coverage all the while maintaining the same cat disposition of disdain. It is then has its final taste of fame cemented by pathetically “throwing” out the first pitch as people “ooh and awww” about how cute this display was and how it is harmless. All the while this cat didn’t care one bit about the boy, the tricycle, the dog or this family. It was rewarded for simply doing what all cats do; making life miserable for all of those around it.

Look, is this story harmless? Yes, absolutely. Is it worth any sort of news coverage? Yes actually. As long as it is in a “would you believe this” segment on your local news. It belongs on YouTube but that is the extent of its reach. I am fully aware this is a soapbox moment but there are way other important things we should be reported. Viral videos are not one of those things. In the last week the important stories have been Jay-Z being responsible in an elevator and a cat. The issue of the VA ruining and killing returning soldiers is actually a legit. State governments wasting tax payer money and working against the constitution of the United States as it pertains to gay marriage is an actual story.  The seemingly endless string of a corrupt banking system costing United States citizens their homes and livelihoods is important

This horseshit covering a cat lasting for more than thirty seconds is embarrassing. Yeah, I know this isn’t wrestling; movies, comics or sports related but oh well. Yeah I know this is ending in a sanctimonious manner but oh well. This won’t go anywhere or even matter which sucks. Not because I am the author of this but it just proves the fact no one cares. There is a deep sense of hopelessness whenever these sorts of clips get covered on large format news.

Damn, this took a weird turn. The next celebrity ill-fated statement is around the corner. A bear rescuing its cub that is stuck on a freeway will be all over by tomorrow. Just how it goes now.-Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio 199.5

Stunt Granny hit the ground with a loud thud this week. We came to bring you the best available wrestling news but it devolves quickly into talking about a strange Asian man dancing like we will at Eric’s wedding, a cat singing Game of Thrones and one of Kevin’s ridiculous friends’ stories coming out of the US Men’s Soccer match against Jamaica. They start talking about TNA right when Eric joins the fray and start talking about a special kind of breathing. We do get around to some News That You Can Use like, did TNA really have a pay per view this past weekend? They figure out the answer was yes and talk about their odd booking policies. Does James Storm versus Bobby Roode have the same ring without the TNA Title on the line? Why did Jeff Hardy go over? Eric & Jeremy move on to Doug Stanhope’s new stand up act. They try to convince Kevin to go to his show on Friday in Columbus while he silently listens to them babbling. The trio eventually gets to the big news of the week, Jerry Lawler’s heart attack. They ponder whether it is OK to think this might have been a work? What tells gave it away that it wasn’t? After hearing about all of that craziness, don’t you want to click on the link below? Yes you do because that’s why you come to the site.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #199 and a half

Maven Makes A Return

Here’s a video we all can appreciate. We all remember Maven right? He was the guy that won Tough Enough and then we never really saw much of his ability after that on WWE television. Well, he has resurfaced ads a pitchman for the QVC. This video is great for the fact that Maven is in full wrestling promo mode throughout. He not only lies and says he has a cat but he furthers it with exaggerated mannerisms and a tight shirt made for clubbing.

Pay special attention to his cat condo or whatever it’s called. Unless it holds all of his one-night stands and scorned women notches then I don’t believe he has a cat at all. What single man owns a cat? Gay men and fat lonely women own multiple cats not just one so that rules Maven out of that scenario.

By the way, who the fuck owns a cat nowadays? Better yet why? Those pieces of ungrateful shit arte worthless and more than half of the damn population is allergic to them. I have a better idea for cat litter boxes so I may as well share.

Instead of letting the animal shit in your house, how about smacking it around and tossing it outside to do it’s business? This way your house doesn’t smell like dried feces and no one has to pop even more pills before entering your abode. -Jeremy

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