#ROH Is The Worst Part I

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Ring of Honor deserves to be covered by no wrestling websites, even our dumpy little space. But I can’t resist bashing these morons. I had a good chuckle to myself that the last show I watched them on Tuesday and the announcers were talking like the show aired before their pay per view. I suppose if I had no life and watched at 5 PM on a Saturday I could have viewed it before the iPPV. That’s why I had to write this article though. The only non Raw crowd related article that grabbed my attention on Prowrestling.Net was that ROH’s iPPV feed crapping out, again. I don’t know why they deserve a spot on a syndicated show even if they’re in terrible time slots like 5 PM on  Saturday and Monday morning at 12:05 AM because reruns of Two and a Half Men always run over. The crapped out feed shows why I will not be attending their show that they will have here in Columbus. TNA has at least progressed far enough along that I would probably go to their show if the price is reasonable. I will most definitely be going to Raw that is at Nationwide Arena especially now that I renewed my PSL. Just recently, I ordered an iPPV from Prime Wrestling. A much smaller company than ROH. I had absolutely no problems with their feed. I even went back to watch it several times with no problems.

I am considering quitting watching their program because I watch too much TV anyway. But part of me wants to continue to rip off Jeremy’s old idea of “What TNA Did Right This Week”. Except, I’m going to take one moment from each show and illustrate why ROH is the worst. If I entertain myself and hopefully you, I’ll continue to watch this dog shit. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #198

Jeremy & Kevin are back for an edition of the audio that you don’t want to miss. The guys start off by talking about which members of the Stunt Granny crew were drunk last week and didn’t get around to a show because of it. Who’s boss got the bar tab? They do end up talking about wrestling and they start with WWE Raw first. How long does three hours and five minutes feel in real time? Or even when watching all on the DVR? Jeremy & Kevin ponder if the program wouldn’t feel as long if the product had more structure. How often does the WWE cut off it’s own legs when they can make small tweaks to their format? They end up talking specifically about CM Punk and Jerry Lawler? How old is Lawler? And does the crowd reaction mean anything? Is it good that they bark like seals when chanting “Feed me more!”? Someone who didn’t want more was Claire Lynch. She’s gone from TNA but why? And can an angle still be hurried even though it has been going on for three to four months? Of course Jeremy & KEvin finish off talking about TNA with their big topic, Aces & Eights? Is this angle starting to wear thin? What can TNA do to keep this angle moving forward? Last but not least, which bad announcer did they bounce as a topic since they didn’t want to depress you too much? Find that out and more by clicking on the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #198

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Review of @WWE #Raw1000

As Jeremy so eloquently put it, tonight starts my descent into madness. No, not the Aurora variety madness but the kind that makes me want to throw my lap top against a wall kind of madness. Tonight will likely be a very good, packed show. The writing will fall apart after tonight though. As for the poll below, I voted for “It doesn’t matter, the title was rendered meaningless long ago.” I’m not sure it was a long time ago but I had been long harping on the meaninglessness of the IC, US, Tag Team & Women’s Title. For some reason, since main event level guys held the belt, I didn’t think about it being meaningless. It is though. Mostly because as another choice point out “It doesn’t matter, John Cena is basically “the champ” anyway.” So, CM Punk may be merch champ and putting on spectacular matches, but you can tell the WWE doesn’t really favor him. Or even Sheamus. Enough editorial, time to do it during the review.

And just so you know, this is our 1850 post. Beat that WWE! We get a retrospective of Raw. It was a nice enough video package. Vince McMahon comes out first. I didn’t listen to his special email message that he sent out. Why is the chairman introducing Degeneration X? I’m guessing everyone else on the internet asked this question. They’re rebels who don’t, aw, you get it right? Even the video package accompanying their entrance seems lame. Shawn Michaels acts out of breath and really stupid. HHH checks for his underwear too. They introduce Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X Pac. Gunn & Michaels get cutesy with another line. Damien Sandow interrupts the proceedings. You aren’t going to save us. We’re going to get this dreck for the rest of the three hours tonight and in the future. What did I type earlier? This episode would be fine? I’m taking that back already. They still have two words for us. Yuck. Time to get drunk.

I miss Jim Ross coming out because I wanted to get cake for my girl. Wink, wink. Rey Mysterio comes out before he can say a word. He’s teaming with the botch machine Sin Cara. Sheamus is on the team too. We can’t have too many matches tonight so let’s have huge tag team matches! Chris Jericho is still a heel by being on their team. Dolph Ziggler is out the chute next then Alberto Del Rio. Then a commercial.

Ziggler starts off against Sin Cara. Oh, by the way, no animosity between Mitchell Cool and Ross. Stupidity central. My vote is Jericho costing Ziggler and his team the match. Looks like Ziggler is going to cost Jericho the match. Sheamus wins with the Brogue Kick. Not much of a match. What? JR is only calling one match? Fuck off WWE.

Why an I watching these dumb videos? I still don’t care about Tout. Charlie Sheen is hosting from Las Vegas. I’m glad he can Skype so we can plug something else. I buzzed through the replay of AJ & Daniel Bryan from last week. AJ then gets to talk to Layla. Of course dumb shit is happening outside of their locker room door. Kill me. The hand is grown up. Shouldn’t it be half black? Mark Henry was the father.

Sonic gets pimped. Why would wrestling be important during the 1000 Raw? Jack Swagger gets to lose to the Funkasaurus. Another match that doesn’t matter. Shazam app. Clay gets to introduce Dude Love. Splat was an accurate description from Cool. Swagger gets the Mandible Claw with the mandatory gullet use. Trish Stratus gets to talk yoga to HHH. We’re supposed to laugh again. We don’t.

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Stunt Granny Audio #191

Return of the Mack

This is a very very special edition of Stunt Granny Audio because The Man is back. Dusty and Kevin join up to talk about Psycho Sid’s return and just how it rates in the lexicon of all time great moments in pro wrestling history. They talk about how good it must be to be Heath Slater right now, how pathetic Ric Flair is now, how weird those old Ultimate Warrior vs Andre the Giant matches were, Brock Lesnar’s sudden transformation into David Copperfield, John Cena *finally* getting a well deserved title match, and much much more. The best part is it’s only going to take about 40 minutes of your precious time away from you, so you really have no excuse not to listen immediately, fucko.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #191

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Sometimes, nature has a plan of it's own.

I wanted to start on time tonight but a number of things held me up. Not leaving the office until 7:00 PM was one of them. Having to do grocery shopping after that didn’t help. Tomorrow won’t allow me a chance to do that since I’m going to see Amy Schumer, who is a riot. If I find her clip from the Charlie Sheen Roast, I’ll post it. I just don’t feel like searching for it right now. Plus it’d seem out of place this early in the post. The above actions caused the most recent delay. Thank goodness I don’t need to use some silly Japanese toilet. I will mention for those people who follow my Pro Wrestling Ohio reporting, they had their season premiere last night. I didn’t watch it because I was too busy watching a way too close game between the Steelers and Colts. Unless something happens with both lines, the Steelers won’t last as long as I thought they would. Back to PWO, I’ll try to post that review later this week. For now, it’s Raw time. Let’s roll.

Booker looks as giddy as a school girl. Lots of hype to start the show. I feel like music hits now to begin the proceedings not announcing the main event. Trips starts us off. I didn’t see that bit by the Miz & R Truth on WWE.com. Good promo. The music for the apology is ridiculous. Trips fines Mark Henry. Vickie interrupts as HHH is giving a mission statement about doing what is right for the company. Ziggler doing the heavy lifting on the mic again. Rhodes joins the party. Trips keeps offering good advice. Ah, Christian gets to be the last one at the party. I hope. Lawsuit talk. Thanks for boring us to death. Christian gets 3 matches, Ziggler defends against Zach Ryder. Rhodes insults HHH then gets a 10 man battle royal. Weird. That isn’t punishment to me. Who loses their title that way? Even that worthless I.C. Title.

Drew gets ganged up on. No surprise that Rhodes flees to the outside. Both Sin Caras get tossed. Sheamus and Zeke take out a pair each then go toe to toe. Rhodes gets to “toss” Zeke so he can look impressive. Sheamus is distracted by Christian so that Rhodes can retain. Christian attacks him to aid his heel bona fides.

Cole runs down JR then King. Otunga has a bow tie & a button down. Johnny Wooden Voice is still on TV. What a woofer and then fluff on Kelly Kelly. I’m glad I grabbed a beer already. Then a commercial break. Are you trying to get us to check on the game?

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Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 3/12/11

1. JBL – With his awesome promo, his inside jokes about bullying, and his general awesome heel demeanor, JBL stole the show on Monday Night Raw. That is until…

2. Steve Austin – … Stone Cold stole the show with his usual good-time, beer-swillin’, cameraman-chasin’ antics. That is until…
3. Michael Cole – … Michael Cole stole the show with his pouty, chickenshit, unfit-to-headline heel-character fit at the top of the stage. That is until…
4. The Miz – … the Miz stole the show with his pitch-perfect promo at the end of the night. I would love to see him slap the Rock across the face one of these days to show him who’s boss around here. – Eric

5. Brodus Clay – The guy may not have won NXT (or at least that’s what I read) but he certainly appears to have won because he’s made TV appearances on Raw & Smackdown this week. Del Rio could use an enforcer so Brodus may have found a permanent spot for himself. – Kevin

6. Women’s Wrestling in the WWE – I can’t fully get into my thoughts in this list but it needed to be mentioned. I have no idea why the WWE continues to feature women’s wrestling if they’re going to shit on it. Any other program would take off something they don’t like. Look at Two & a Half Men. Charlie Sheen #Losing! – Kevin

7. Victory Road – I watched TNA this week, as I do most weeks, and even tweeted about the show a couple of times. When I was trying to think of topics to put in the Big 11, I had forgotten in less than 24 hours that TNA had a pay per view this week. That’s how piss poor their go home show was on Thursday. – Kevin

8. Kurt Angle – He had an interview in the UK Sun. Among the topics he touched were that he doesn’t like Jeff Jarrett personally (Duh, he’s fucking your ex-wife. I hate the prick that’s doing the same to mine and I don’t have to work with him.) but respects him as wrestler (You’re an idiot). Angle is happy with the product  so he won’t go back to the WWE. The whipped cream and cherry to this interview is that he’ll retire in TNA because he’s very excited with their product (The King of the White Trash is excited for the White Trash of the wrestling landscape, go figure). – Kevin

9. Microphones- TNA has too many of them. Of course it may be that they have about four but they continue to give them to the wrong people. Impact this week just had too many people yapping about brainless and stupid shit. Yes this is par the course but it just seemed more annoying this week. -Jeremy

10. The Miz- He reminded us all just how stupid The People’s Elbow really is . Seeing someone else do the move does make you appreciate what The Rock does.  -Jeremy

11. Kevin Nash- Just when you thought he couldn’t bilk the fans for more money he does it again. Ok, maybe not bilk but he sure knows how to make money. They guy is having a private party and inviting fans to attend? Sweet Jesus, where do we sign up? Imagine all the creepy goodness that could come of this. Or it could be a total disaster.  -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio #131

Why a picture of a chicken? Well why not? Winning.

You know that we here at Stunt Granny have one speed and its balls to the wall. So in that spirit here is an audio full of tiger blood wrapped in the body of an Adonis. Jeremy and Kevin bring the winning and discuss Sting’s return to TNA. Why the hell would he turn down an automatic win with WWE for another run in front of 150 people at TNA events? They then go over the rumored “leaked” WrestleMania 27 card. Could this possibly be the real thing? It sure seems like it. They then discuss Triple H and the supposed burial of the locker room people have been crying about. Oh yeah, they also talk about The Rock and if his burial of John Cena is bad for business. So give it a listen if you will. Winning.

Stunt Granny Audio #131

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