Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

A very long segment makes me think of long legs, to keep my sanity.

So I watched the mid-main event of Cole/Lawler/Christopher/JR/Swagger so I won’t be able to review it properly. I’ll do a Clif’s Notes version later. I am watching the Rock almost live though. His skit isn’t funny either. You’re just making more money pal. The little child gag is overplayed even by WWE standards. The director cuts to some awful shot. Wow, saying your best guy isn’t talented. Great idea. That’s sarcasm by the way. This segment is brutal. Rock finally turns to talk about the Miz with ominous Undertaker like music. The guy laying down the sound beds needs to be fired. Rock still doesn’t have an answer for the Via Satellite line. I decided to stay up to review this? I made a mistake. Cole Mine. It’s funny but it doesn’t help me take him seriously. Lordy, this segment is going to go longer? I’m one of the few idiots that didn’t think any of the Lord of the Rings movies were too long. This is longer. The Miz doing better than the Rock less than a minute in. Solid work by Miz. Great goodily, moodily. More? Lawler takes over reading the GM’s email. Cena takes on Del Rio tonight. The Miz gets to take on the Great Khali. No Josh, this is not must see. At least they’re going to commercial. One of the longer 21 minutes in my life.

Riley takes the beating so that Miz can whack Khali with a chair. The Great Indian jobber. Another yawner of a segment. Cole hyping the segment I already saw. Christopher didn’t shock the world. Except for how shockingly terrible and bloated he looked.

Wow, none of these live shows are without replays from the other show. I feel like I’m being cheated next week. I’m going to be sitting watching Raw while at Smackdown for at least 20 minutes. Morrison gets a good pop from the crowd. He’s with Snooki. Vickie makes no sense and Dolph has a bad suit on. KSU only taught me good taste.

Sheamus takes on Daniel Bryan for the US Title. Gail Kim is ridiculous. The crowd isn’t doing much for Bryan. Glad he got a sign in the crowd. They’re calling attention to a King of the Ring curse. Nice. The match was OK up until the commercial break.

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