Kevin’s Blog: #ImpactLive Destination X

Special-EditionSince it’s Destination X, I decided to bust out the lap top. I had intended to start this earlier but life got in the way. A trip to the lady’s house then some Hawaiian BBQ delayed it. Here it comes now. Let’s roll.

They start with a nice retrospective on Chris Sabin‘s career. What X Division won’t take this chance? I doubt that Sabin comes out of this show with the belt though. Too much riding on Bully Ray in my eyes. Then again, I would have said the same thing about D.O.C. until the news earlier this week. Since Bully Ray has mic skills, he gets to come to the ring. He cares so little for his opponent, he calls out Brooke Hogan. She’s sick of his games. Well then divorce him dummy. You can hire a lawyer easier than he can. Ray, you’ve got no power to stay married to her other than her incompetence. Hulk Hogan makes the same argument Brooke did. The Main Event Mafia shows up for no reason. Not exactly starting the show well. Bobby Roode says “Fluke”. The future starts tonight. Decent enough.

Roode is taking on his old partner, Austin Aries with a fresh facial hair look. Watching even the beginning of this match, it makes me think that Austin Aries could break the size barrier like CM Punk & Daniel Bryan have. Commercial. Roode has turned himself into a good wrestler. I still think his mic skills lag behind though so I’m less sure of his WWE chances. Aries has the mic down. Brainbuster for an Aries win. Oh no, is Roode getting a losing streak gimmick? I think the right guy won but I usually don’t like where these stories go. For now, I’ll enjoy his little freak out. Homicide talks to Hernandez. Chavo Guerrero gives him respect. Hernandez does the least talking. Smart move again. I feel like grading every segment for some reason.

Ken Anderson gets to address D.O.C. leaving. He hand over his cut. He then gives a pep talk. Woof. Homicide is taking on Sonjay Dutt and Petey Williams. They’ve been behind Dutt more recently so I’ll expect him to win. The Gringo Killer and Canadian Destroyer are two cool finishers. Sonjay saves Petey after the Killer. Moonsault Double Foot Stomp for Dutt. Wow, what a move.

Kenny King takes on Suicide and Chavo Guerrero. King has been a favorite since his move over from ROH. A baby face won the first match, I’m going with him for the win. Oh that’s right, it’s Manic now. I’ve never been quite sure why guys who stop in the ropes stay there for so long. Manic air balls on a cross pin but Chavo rolls thru anyway. Barely anyone cheers for Chavo. King showing off the athleticism. Manic wins with an inverted Code Breaker. I think that’s the right description. The Main Event Mafia is fired up. Glad they’re taking a break from the X Division matches. Back to back was a bit much.

Chris Sabin gets a talk from Hulk Hogan. He tells him it’s his time for greatness. Sabin thanks Hulk. A reason Sabin wouldn’t survive in the WWE. Do I really have to listen to this dreck that Sting will start? Um, Aces & Eights is there. If you’re looking for them, why haven’t you found them yet? They’ve had a couple of segments. Kurt Angle gets his chance to suck. Magnus is ready. That’s all you’ve got after I pimped you last week? If you’re going to take the fight to them, you don’t call them out. Ken Anderson invites them backstage. Samoa Joe with a cameo from Rampage Jackson is the closing suck. Aces & Eights ambushed them. What a bunch of dumb baby faces.

Continue reading

Joey Ryan on his release from TNA

tumblr_mcdktdZlFl1qj2f0go1_250

So just recently Joey Ryan was on a show called ITR Live on something called Spreaker, which I am just hearing about now, this very second. What follows below is a recap of that appearance, procured from PWInsider.

It’s largely Ryan politicizing himself in effort to possibly someday get his job back, so if you’re looking for something really truly interesting coming out of his mouth, look elsewhere. I post this to say that Ryan has the size and charisma that WWE usually is looking for in a wrestler. He could be somewhere around Rick “The Model” Martel level in WWE if used properly, to further date myself. And WWE used to make their bones on taking guys that the competition didn’t know how to use properly and turning them into stars. So, there you go Vince. – Dusty

How he got in to TNA:

Through David Lagana. I worked with David Lagana in a few places actually Ring of Honor, NWA Hollywood and then he booked me for Ring Ka King in India. Then he got hired to be a writer in TNA and they were looking for guys. He suggested me to Al Snow and Al Snow saw footage of me and decided to make me a GutCheck contestant.

It kind of happened quickly. They called me up and Al Snow asked if I would be interested and I said yes. He said, “Alright, I’ll see you next week”. There wasn’t anything I had to sit on really.

On TNA GutCheck:

They literally don’t tell you anything. I was the second ever guy to do GutCheck. The first GutCheck was Alex Silva. There was that whole thing where Ric Flair changed his decision on Alex Silva. You see, I don’t know how much of that is really a shoot or not. I think they brought me in particularly to be a “No” because they just needed somebody from the indys to make this seem more legitimate and told “no”. I think that was a work on their part.

I think when I wrestled and I had a good match against Austin Aries, thank God I had to wrestle Austin Aries, then I came in and did my promos and stuff like that, even before I was in front of the judges, they weren’t telling me I was going to get a “No”, but I had a few people telling me things. Like Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan came up to me and said, “Hey, we like your look, we think you are good. No matter what happens out there, we want to do something with you hopefully down the line”. They were hinting that I was going to get a “No” vote.

I was already going in there portraying a heel character so I knew going into this that I wasn’t just going to go out there, be told “No” and walk away with my tail between my legs. I’m going to be adamant about it. I was going to be myself, a guy who has been told “No” for the last 12 years by major companies.

After I did that promo, there was talk of me going around. They were saying to themselves, “How can we use this guy?” Before that, there was nothing planned for me.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of @ImpactWrestling

Destination

I figured since Final Destination is on Sunday, I may as well do a de facto preview. I’ve got a couple of hours before I go out drinking with my buddy who is in town from Pittsburgh.

Kazarian starts off by call us choads. You deserve the shit you’re given. Bobby Roode cuts a fair enough program but I’m not sure why he’d put this double albatross around his neck. Christopher Daniels is OK at being insincere but I’m just so tired of this feud. AJ Styles is cutting an OK promo too. Still bored. Jeff Hardy & James Storm save Styles who picked a bad fight. They replay Austin Aries, Bully Ray & Hulk Hogan. Aries gets to cut the promo. He’s pushed buttons and wants to push more. I guess he likes video games.

I only looked at the headlines on Dot Net this morning so I know someone debuted or came back tonight. I also know that there’s a new TV Champion. Considering it’s a one on one match, the outcome between Samoa Joe and Devon is pretty easy. The match was cheap. Earl is distracted by a hot blonde. I guess that’s what happens since Madison Rayne left. DOC nails Samoa Joe with a hammer. Devon covers for the win. Brooke Hogan is happy about a contract delivery. Hmm, I’m guessing this is the mystery person.

I’m not shocked that they’re continuing this dumb angle with D’Lo Brown and Al Snow. They’re cool but a match is happening between them, right? Mickie James comes out in a dress. She made a pact to win the Knockouts Champion. Well, duh. Tara interrupts to brag about Jesse. Velvet Sky comes out. Three terrible promos in a row. Robbie E is freaking out about paying his insurance. Robbie T is a smart sophisticated European so he knows how to work an iPad. Why did I choose to review this show again?

That was their big promo before wrestling Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez. I don’t care about this match. Shocking, isn’t it? The Mexicans who were both born in the US take on Joey Ryan & Matt Morgan on Sunday. I’m sure Morgan is thinking it was a great idea to re-sign with TNA. Hernandez didn’t injure Robbie T. Chavo wins with the Frog Splash. Joey Ryan interrupts. Morgan attacks from behind. Big Morgan & Big Organ. I’m just angry now. Nothing gets better when Devon acts like he enjoys the strippers “going lesbian”.

Garrett Bischoff & Wes Brisco have Kurt Angle‘s back. I could like the group if Garrett & Brisco could act at all. Chavo barks all day little doggy while Hernandez tries to look tough. They cut the promo short. Jimminy Cricket.

Continue reading

Stunt Granny Audio #195

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

Stunt Granny Audio #150 Part One

Wow, there have officially been a hundred and fifty of these things? What better way to celebrate then to talk to long so you split the show in two? Jeremy and Kevin come at ya this week and in part one they discuss the Money In The Bank PPV. What surprised them? Why didn’t Daniel Bryan cash in after Christian’s beatdown at the hands of Randy “The Animal” Orton? Who will be the first person to lose their MITB chance at the title? They also manage to talk about Chavo Guererro for some reason and it totally goes awry. Speaking of A-Ry, the guys skip over him and discuss the uselessness of Jack Swagger. They rip on Rey Mysterio’s fashion sense and praise the work of John Cena in the main event. It is a fun listen so download and enjoy. Then come back later for part two.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #150 part 1

Stunt Granny Audio #148

Oh shit, we’re back one more time for you people with audio number 148. Dusty and Kevin are your early entry, high upside, long length hosts this time around. Herein we talk about CM Punk’s worked shoot and the ramifications thereof. The internet is aglow with buzz about this, but was it really 100 positive? The cru delves into the logistics behind it, and whether Vince McMahon was guffawing backstage while it was happening. Is Punk really done after the pay-per-view, or is he going to stick around? Can he actually extract a good match out of John Cena? Can Cena raise his game after working consecutive programs with the Rock and Punk? Also, the gang talks about Chavo Guerrero’s recent release from WWE. What dark secret did he hold over the McMahon family that he had to ask for his release in order to actually be released? Or did they simply forget he was still on the payroll? Also, who will win the College World Series, where will Jaromir Jagr finish his storied career, and a whole lot more, so just fucking listen, dammit.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #148

WWE releases Chavo Guerrero, dead-uncle statute passed

Pucker up and kiss your contract goodbye, amigo!

See what you get for waking up early on a Saturday and browsing the Internet? I’ve accomplished more in 30 minutes — hung over, no less — than most people will all day! According to WWE.com, 10-year employee… excuse me, independent contractor (am I right, @The305MVP?) Chavo Guerrero has come to terms with WWE on Guerrero’s release. For those of you who follow Stunt Granny but haven’t really watched wrestling since the Monday Night Wars of the late 1990s, you may remember the last name “Guerrero” as that of phenomenal talent Eddie Guerrero, who sadly passed away in November 2005. However, you may barely remember his shifty nephew Chavo as a borderline obnoxious undercard wrestler who could kinda wrestle but mostly just pissed you off because you’d rather have been watching La Parka or the NWO.

Well, apparently WWE’s five-and-a-half-year statute on keeping a wrestler on the roster after his uncle died from pumping up the muscles on his small frame just to get ahead has expired, so Chavo is going to have to strap on a Speed Racer helmet and pretend to be excited about All Wheels Wrestling, or head back home with 24 of his best friends in one pickup truck. -Eric

%d bloggers like this: