Stunt Granny Audio: OHPA 3

Demolition Man and Wolverine from Marvel - The Ultimate Character Guide

Demolition Man and Wolverine from Marvel – The Ultimate Character Guide

After an unintended month lay off, Ken & Kevin are back to talk about some diverse topics. They start with an article written in The New Republic about the formation of an American Football team in Chongqing, China. How much did these Chinese citizens know about football? How old are the people learning to play? How did they get their nicknames? How does China organize their school system? How recent was that type of freedom allowed? How much does this story sound like a typical underdog sports movie? Who could play the villainous coach? Which one of your hosts guarantees this will be made into a movie? Ken & Kevin move on to talking about possible Atari dump site. How bad was the game E.T. The Extraterrestrial? Did either of your hosts play the game as children? Is this game what sunk Atari? Which games from Atari might still be playable? Where can the gentlemen play some of these old Atari games in Columbus? How many games are supposed to be buried? Who paid to dig it up? Their last subject is Marvel’s Original Sin. Why does this topic relate to the present that Jeremy got Kevin for his birthday? What do all of these numbers mean in the Marvel- The Ultimate Character Guide? How obscure are some of the characters in this book? Do they have dumb factoids for Ken to enjoy? Is the Watcher listed as one of the characters? Why did Kevin reference a Robot Chicken skit while talking about this topic? Find out that and the #SippyTimeBeer of the week when you click on the link below!

Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out

chyna

Yowza. According to Prowrestling.net, Chyna has made an “extremely graphic porn” movie called “Backdoor to Chyna,” starring herself and two male leads. Because at this point, the bar for porn is set so high that you absolutely must have three lead actors, or it’s hardly worth stealing from a bit torrent site and eating a bag of Cheetos with your other hand, m i rite? As you may remember, in 2004, Chyna and her then-boyfriend Sean Waltman released a semi-produced sex tape they titled “1 Night in China,” where X-Pac stuck his X-Coc in about any hole he could dig to Chyna. If I recall correctly, a review posted on SomethingAwful.com likened an anal sex scene featuring Chyna’s heavily pimpled ass to “someone shaking a large pepperoni pizza off their arm.” Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it?

This news comes weeks after TNA brought in Chyna to play the part of Kurt Angle’s mistress. Let’s see… bestiality jokes are too easy… clouded judgment due to too many pills, nah… John Piermarini is to Kelly Kelly as Vince Russo is to Chyna? Maybe. Let’s just all agree that it’s good Chyna finally got her act together, until the opportunity to get railed by two guys in front of a camera crew and work out her daddy issues came a-knockin’. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I could only find a picture with 1000 televisions.

As usual, I’m starting my viewing a little bit late. I had to go get beer and walk my dogs. The box of beer I got has a quote from Hunter S. Thompson on it – “Good people drink good beer.” Amen. I’m sucking down Flying Dog In Heat Wheat Hefeweizen. Check for my review later in our forum, which is free.

I must admit that I’m surprised that the 900th episode didn’t warrant three hours of television. It’d suck if it were that long. Just like three hours of TNA is too long on Thursday nights. Check our Audio from last week to hear more about that subject.

We start off with Bret Hart yapping. Now Kane is running down Undertaker and Hart. He’s been doing a solid job on the mic recently. Glad to know the Hart Dynasty is still alive.  Of course Kane is going to give us no satisfaction in the match department. Wait, Bret isn’t fit to wrestle Nexus but he can wrestle the Undertaker? Huh? What a shitty main event.

Highlights of Episode #1 which I in no way watched. Seeing Yokozuna made me remember that The Pensblog showed the Penguins old defenseman Peter Taglianetti tried to slam him before Lex Luger did.

Highlights of the immortal Steve Austin driving the Zamboni from episode #279. Wow, I’ve caught more of this 900 than I thought. Austin could have highlights all night long but I figure they’ll spread out the star power.

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The Art of Wrestling – Insert Pot Joke Here

I wonder if RVD has his house Feng shuied.

TNA has been on the ball when it comes to new merchandise for their shiny “new” stars that they have brought in during the Hulk Hogan era. Too bad I’ve been slacking off as much as TNA’s writers. To kick off the new TNA reviews I figured I’d start with ‘Mister Monday Night’, Rob Van Dam.

On the back of the shirt, there are neon green Xs that flank a neon green yin & yang symbol. I’m not sure if TNA is aware, but the WWE has a long standing group called Degeneration X that uses both neon green and shockingly an X in their merchandise. What a bunch of morons. I know the yin & yang is not part of DX’s design but everything else is a rip off. They could have used a star with five points to draw comparisons to RVD’s Five Star Frog Splash and had the same exact design pattern then I (I can’t be the only one who noticed) wouldn’t have thought of DX even if they stuck with the neon green. There is an additional design in the background that looks like a mix between a biohazard symbol and a tribal tattoo. To me, that mixes up cultures since yin & yang is Chinese and tribal tattoos are Polynesian or North & South American in origin. I would think you’d want to stick with kanji which is the name of the Chinese characters used in writing. It would stick with the theme of the shirt better. RVD doesn’t have any tattoos either so he has no reason to want a tattoo inspired design on his shirt.

On the front of the shirt, TNA has the same exact design with one exception. They have inserted “RVD” in grey and white. The “V” matches the tribal background pattern which is a nice touch. The text has a nice funkiness to it that draws me in.

I’m not a big fan of having the same design on the front as the back because it makes one look like they’re wearing a sandwich billboard. They are marginally different but not enough in my book. The changing of motifs didn’t help the shirt. The blatant ripping off of DX is the worst part. I’ve mentioned the quality of the WWE riffing on old designs (John Deere among other shirts) but they altered it enough to not be the exact same symbol if if they carried through the same color pattern. Stop trying to be the WWE and make your own designs. – Kevin

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