Extreme Reunion 2012 Was A Rousing Success

Raven and Sandman going at it.

As I start this post, this was the only results post on you-know-what page:

Hey Dave.  I’m sure you’ve probably gotten match results from others (and lord knows I don’t remember them), so I’ll just give a few notes from the show:

–Place was PACKED.  I’d say at least 3/4 of the people there were standing.  Made it impossible to see what was happening when they fought outside the ring (which they did in every match).

–It was definitely a bit of an older crowd compared to old ECW shows back in the day.  It basically looked like everyone from the old days had grown up; not a lot of kids or teens there.  I was actually quite surprised how many guys had attractive girls there with them.  Not something I saw a lot of back in the day at ECW shows.  Hey good for them!

–The show did start late.  They aired a video package in tribute for all the wrestlers who have died in the last decade and then a taped promo by Douglas but the sound wasn’t working.  Nice touch but not a good omen.

–The show started with a tag team match with 4 guys whose name I couldn’t hear.  Crowd hated it.

–They then did a “match” with 2 more indy guys.  One of them was this little tiny Asian guy who took the mic before the match and started talking to the audience in a high-pitched voice that made him sound like William Hung.  Then this guy comes from the crowd and told both of the wrestlers in the ring to scram.  Nobody had any idea who this guy was.  He then called out Shane Douglas, who didn’t show up.  Funny thing was that Shane was literally standing right behind us in the crowd.

–Then the “ECW” part of the show started with the FBI vs BWO.  Richards, Marmaluke, and Guido were probably the only 3 guys on the entire show in good shape.  Match was total comedy.  Highlight was Guido and Meanie doing a thumb wrestling war on the mat with the ref giving a 2 count when Meanie had Guido’s thumb down.  The same unknown dude from the last segment distracted Richards for the finish.  It was never explained who this guy was.

–CW Anderson and Al Snow were next.  Anderson looks like he’s about 60 now.  Snow was grossly overweight.  He was winded just from doing his entrance.  Match was a disaster.  Anderson put an armbar on Snow no less than 5 times.  There were several chants of “Armmmmmmmmmbar” as a homage to the old Chris Jericho “Man of 1004 Holds” promo.  Snow beat up Head after the match and then went running back begging for forgiveness, which was actually pretty entertaining.

–The segment with The Gangstas vs Angel was also pretty bizarre.  Angel came out asking for someone to be his partner (did Devito no show?) but nobody came.  Gangstas then came out (Mustafa looking absolutely huge and not in a good way) and beat him up for 3 minutes before the indy guys from the 1st match came in, beat them up for like a minute, and then left.  One of them looked to have gotten into a legit fight with a fan on the way out that was broken up by security, but it was hard to tell.  Complete waste of time.

–Somewhere in here they did a planned spot where the ring announcer was making some general announcements, the lights went out, and they brought out a stripper to try and recreate the Kimona Wannalaya strip tease from that time they lost power at the ECW Arena.  The stripper basically just writhed around on the mat like a sizzling piece of bacon in a skillet.  It was a little weird.

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Stunt Granny Poll: What wrestler are you most embarrassed to admit you once cheered for?

We sometimes pull out old VHS tapes or DVDs of past wrestling cards, and as we all know, pulling out never works. We’re often embarrassed watching the colorful characters of yesteryear uncharismatically shuffle around our 19-inch TV sets, our thumbs on the “stop” button in case someone comes into the room. Who are you most embarrassed to admit you cheered like a wildman for back in the day? We have a list above, but of course pro wrestling has brought us some of the most poorly thought-out ideas in entertainment, so the list could go on and on like Chris Jericho’s 1,004 holds. Let us know what you think!

Eric’s Blog: For CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, Benoit and Guerrero comparisons a little too apropos

CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, in happier times. Like, last night.

Last night at the WWE TLC pay-per-view, long-time indy favorite and beloved smallish pro wrestler Daniel Bryan did the unthinkable: He pinned a 500-pound wrestling giant to win the World Heavyweight Championship. When the above picture of fellow champion CM Punk and Bryan surfaced, comparisons to the late, regaled and internationally celebrated Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero were instant: Two scruffy, 200-pound darlings of the hardcore type of fan had finally made it in the land of storybook monsters and mythological heroes. Think this is going to last very long? History tells you not to bet on it.

What seems like a million years ago but was really only in 1992, the WWF was staving off the symptoms of internal sex, drugs and rock-and-roll scandals. A handful of then-current and then-past WWF employees were being accused of sexual exploits with under-aged, starry-eyed, same-sex nubiles. Vince McMahon was being implicated in stories from women painting him an insatiable sexual monster. Multi-time champion, world-renown hero and No. 1 merchandise peddler Hulk Hogan needed a break after eight years, not because Hulkamania no longer went wild but because the gravy train took a stop at “The Arsenio Hall Show,” where the 800-pound orange gorilla lied about his steroid use (“One time, brother,” and the needle had been stuck there ever since, dude), an issue that would put McMahon on trial for the better part of the next 18 months.

Without the Hulkster to weigh down the company, the WWF went in a few different directions with its headliners and championships. This experimentation was largely unheard of for the billion-dollar company; it had sold out arenas with the same guy on top since Bruno Sammartino’s inaugural eight-year reign. (Sure, Bob Backlund, in the ‘70s and ‘80s, was a pale, smallish guy, but a lot of other, bigger wrestlers headlined those cards.) Tinkering with success was simply not in the WWF formula, until fate (and the company’s own misgivings) forced its hand. Thankfully, in 1991, McMahon had brought in Ric Flair, largely considered the greatest professional wrestler ever, to be the chief antagonist, first for Hogan, then for famed star Roddy Piper, and later for Macho Man Randy Savage. It was with Savage that Flair battled for the WWF Championship, a prize normally held by someone who either weighed or looked like he could bench-press 300 pounds.

With the steroid issue bringing the WWF’s roster of physiques into question, McMahon began putting the belt on smaller, yet very accomplished wrestlers: first Flair, then Savage, then Flair again. But the writing was on the wall; one Wembley Stadium 80,000-plus sellout aside, box offices were dwindling as the WWF moved away from Goliath-versus-goliath main events. If there’s one other thing the McMahon family has always had a penchant for besides Herculean physiques, it’s Samoans.

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Chris Benoit book “Ring of Hell” may be adapted into biopic, Hollywood inexperienced with nice guys snapping and murdering women

chris benoit

"Benoit: The Musical": Diving into movie-goers' hearts in 2013!

According to a few people on my Facebook account (including a super secret society and an actual in-person friend), SRG Films is set to produce a “biographical thriller” about the life and times of Chris Benoit. Oh, and about that part where he murdered his wife and kid. Cries of “too soon” fall on deaf ears around Stunt Granny, so let’s get excited! Oh, wait… SRG Films is a company that’s never actually made a movie (but has one in the works starring a bunch of hot chicks with no published plot), so the Benoit biopic is sure to have Marlon Brando and Chris Benoit rolling over in their graves.

Here’s some info from IGN:

Coming Soon posted a press release that describes Crossface as “a biographical thriller” that “delves into the pressures WWE superstar Chris Benoit faced throughout his wrestling career as the combination of drug-use, depression, and head trauma became increasingly impossible for him to handle. The true story made headline news in 2007 when Chris murdered his wife and young son before taking his own life.”

The film’s writer, Sarah Coulter, said: “People immediately point to steroids, never thinking about the brain trauma these wrestlers can, and do, incur in their profession, nor do they consider the rigorous schedule that keeps them working even when they shouldn t be. The Benoit story is one that needs to be brought into the light.”

Actually, a lot of people have thought about the head trauma (everyone) and the rigorous schedule (Wade Keller), stupid.

Producers are said to be out to directors and actors right now in the hopes of beginning production in late 2012.

Here’s hoping the potential stars don’t go through that “method acting” thing where they consume their lives with the lead’s characteristics. Otherwise, Hollywood will be filled with dead wives, and that’s a cultural shift we simply cannot handle.

To summarize, a film company who’s never made a film is making a film about a a pro wrestler who murdered his wife and kids for reasons we already know yet seeks to uncover the truth about an industry that’s just as fucked up as the industry within which this film is being made. “Andre: Heart of a Giant,” eat your giant heart out. -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio Show #149

It’s the Asshole Edition (or is it?) of Stunt Granny Audio: Jeremy and Eric are here to give their take on the CM Punk promo from this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw. What have others, including Dusty, Kevin, and Dave Lagana of I Want Wrestling, said about the promo? What made it effective? What made it shocking? What made it par for the course with other worked shoots of the past? The boys discuss those interviews of Brian Pillman, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman and Joey Styles – what worked, what didn’t, and whether or not they drew money. Also discussed are Randy Orton’s recent radio interview, Linda Bollea being a huge c-word, and Koko B. Ware revealing the brains behind him bringing his macaw, Frankie, to the ring. All this and not much more when you click to listen!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #149

Stunt Granny Audio #148

Oh shit, we’re back one more time for you people with audio number 148. Dusty and Kevin are your early entry, high upside, long length hosts this time around. Herein we talk about CM Punk’s worked shoot and the ramifications thereof. The internet is aglow with buzz about this, but was it really 100 positive? The cru delves into the logistics behind it, and whether Vince McMahon was guffawing backstage while it was happening. Is Punk really done after the pay-per-view, or is he going to stick around? Can he actually extract a good match out of John Cena? Can Cena raise his game after working consecutive programs with the Rock and Punk? Also, the gang talks about Chavo Guerrero’s recent release from WWE. What dark secret did he hold over the McMahon family that he had to ask for his release in order to actually be released? Or did they simply forget he was still on the payroll? Also, who will win the College World Series, where will Jaromir Jagr finish his storied career, and a whole lot more, so just fucking listen, dammit.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #148

Excelsior! WWE Comics are a comin!

It can't be worse than this?

This is a fucking joke right? Straight from hell comes the next failed WWE  project, WWEComics. Yes that’s right WWE is coming out with their very own copyrighted material for kids to buy. Judging by the art work and writing on these sample pages we should have oodles of material to slam for at least 7 issues.

I read comics. I watch wrestling.  I am not going to purchase this  piece of shit. I must not be the target audience. Look at the artwork . It makes everyone look the exact same and by that I mean pre Benoit killing his wife and kid days. You know, I’ll leave critiquing the artwork for Kevin. He’s the guy that draws.

Instead let’s concentrate on the writing. Better yet, let’s not. Although I bet the same guy writing this tripe is a writer for Monday Night Raw. I am running out of energy for this garbage. Comics don’t have to be garbage and the idea of a WWE comic series has its merits but this trash; wow.

Quick note, even in comics Matt Hardy is a charismaless vaccum of a bitch. At least they made him appear muscular. -Jeremy

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