Merry Christmas!

AAArrrgggghhh! Merry Christmas.

AAArrrgggghhh! Merry Christmas.

The beginning of Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town is kinda creepy.

The Art of Wrestling – #TNA @ImpactWrestling’s 12 Days of Christmas

memegeneokerlund.com

memegeneokerlund.com

So I decided to move over to TNA this week to look for Christmas deals after covering the WWE last week. Before even getting to any of the deals, I was immediately confused. I don’t have a bookmark for WWEShop.com or ShopTNA.com. I go to their site proper and link to their shopping sites. As I scroll over the ShopTNA tab, the first thing I notice is the fact that both Hulk Hogan, who has been off TV since October, and AJ Styles, who may not be signed to a new contract, both have their own subsections. I understand that TNA needs to sell the merchandise that they have in stock. Since both gentlemen aren’t under contract and have had spats with Dixie Carter on air, the least they could do is remove their names from the pull down men.

When I clicked on ShopTNA.com, I then clicked on Happy Holidays deal banner. The first day I went to the site, Rockstar Spud greeted me. When I refreshed the site today, James Storm greeted me. Rockstar Spud should not greet me because he’s been on TV for all of three or four episodes and he’s a heel. Just bad marketing on their part. If he was a likeable heel like Christopher Daniels or Kazarian. Take the WWE as an example, they have recently started hawking their wares on TV. If memory serves, R Truth, the Prime Time Players, Dolph Ziggler, the Funkadactyls and The Bellas have done the segment. What do they have in common? They’re all baby faces. The fact that Dixie Carter was in the marketing field prior to running TNA, one would think she’d recognize this problem. I’m glad they’re using Storm now since he fits the mold.

There is another problem with this page. TNA went with the Happy Holidays wording. But then their slogan is ” Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas with ShopTNA.com.” I celebrate Christmas but am perfectly fine with using Happy Holidays. What I don’t think you should do is mix the two up which is precisely what they did. This deal is a stinker too. TNA is giving away one free item per day from the 9th until the 20th. They have provided enough of a sample size at this point to know they’re not going to give away anything even as “expensive” as a shirt. Day 1 was an IMPACT Twisted Necklace. Day 2 got you a Dixie Carter Shop TNA exclusive Action Figure. They got daring on day 3 by offering not just a Jeff Hardy Souvenir Cup (which is being modeled by the no longer employed So Cal Val) and Coloring Book. Today’s gift is a random pair of sunglasses. Seriously. They aren’t even telling you which piece of garbage they’re going to send you. The only catch with this “deal” is that you need to order a physical gift so no MP3s or digital goods will get you this fabulous extra(s).

I’d love to nit pick actual presents but that is the only deal they have going for Christmas. Looks like I’ll have to go back to the bargain bin at WWEShop.com next week for your entertainment. – Kevin

#SippyTimeBeer Review – @21stAmendment, @Lagunitasbruwhs, @OtterCreekBeer and @ThirstyDogBeer

21stAmendment Sneak Attack Saison21st Amendment BrewerySneak Attack Saison – My lady and I went back to Altoona PA to go see Kent State play at Penn State back in September. We stayed at my parent’s place Friday & Saturday nights. After being rained on for the entire game and watching Kent State be miserable, I was ready for a beverage after a rainy forty five minute trip from State College to Altoona. Luckily my younger brother Brian had left this beer in the fridge. It must have been in there for a while since this beer is only available from January to March. Not only did I need a beer, I really loved this one. The spiciness provided by the cardamom is quite a surprise and very pleasing. The beer goes down smooth and has a nice crispness to it. I would suggest finding this beer in the upcoming months, so go to this part of their site to find out if you can Sneak Attack your taste buds.

Lagunitas Brewing CompanyLittle Sumptin’ WildJeremy tried this beer back at Oktoberfest in Charlotte so when I saw it on the menu at a bar, I decided to give it a whirl even though it is an IPA. It may have been the beer that started my long, hop heavy road to at least figuring out IPAs. Lagunitas advertises that they also put in boatloads of wheat and pale malt which might cut the edge off of the hops for me. So just like other IPAs that I have enjoyed, this one is more balanced than most that I have tried. This beer from Petaluma CA made it all of the way to the taps of a small bar in Columbus so you should be able to find it in your area, so long as it’s July-ish. Or October which is when I had it.

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The Art of Wrestling – @WWE Christmas Sales

christmas-tree-and-presentsEveryone loves to shop this year so allow me to show you some gifts that the WWEShop.com. They have their usual special page for Christmas but it took me to the children’s page first. Normally, I wouldn’t bite on this category but it’s hard to pass up this toy train, especially since my father has a massive train set.

– The WWE Smackdown Express Holiday Train is the perfect gift for your child. Starting from the caboose, the WWE has pictures of CM Punk (I think), Undertaker, Sheamus and Randy Orton. That is quite a bit of Superstar power to be taking the train. Since this is the WWE and we’re stuck in the 70’s, the train still has what I would call in cartoon terms the “Hobo Car” next. You know the train car that is always empty because trains just go from point to point without transporting anything. The hobos in this instance are are HHH down a on knee posing with a sledge hammer and Big Show who looks like he’s trying to spook you or act as a crane to grab something coming past the train. What a bizarre look this car has. They could be wrestling each other or sitting next to each other, legs dangling out of the hobo car and it would look 100% less strange. We move along to the coal car which on has  the logo for the “Night Before Christmas World Tour” on it. I think an appropriate use of the coal car would be to put everyone’s picture on it who has been “Future Endeavored” this year since they’ll be getting coal for Christmas. The fourth and final car is the engine car. Vince’s ego is so big that he’s the one driving, right? Nope, you are wrong. The engineer of this train is John Cena. So if we’re booking by how this train lays out their cars, Cena is definitely winning at TLC.

– My older niece started collecting snow globes the other year. I didn’t get her one this year but if I had looked at WWEShop.com first, I would have. Look at this fantastic WWE Championship Snow Globe. It features the WWE Championship inside of the globe itself. The mounting for this globe is of course a wrestling ring with ropes included. The ring skirt has the WWE logo on one side and the Raw logo on another. I’d love to say they’re knocking Smackdown but that’s the theme of the train. I’m sure some young lad is thinking of setting up his train set around this wrestling ring snow globe that is sure to get everyone talking during the holidays. (About how much of a rube this child is for shucking out $29.99 for this hunk of garbage.

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12 Rounds of Deep Dish Pizza Starring Not John Cena & Not CM Punk

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It’s time to rob this train – Not John Cena

I went back to my parent’s place this weekend in Altoona, PA for my two nephews’ birthday joint party. This time around I remembered to bring Not John Cena and Not CM Punk with me because I knew I’d be able to use my dad’s 1952 (or ’53 he’s not entirely sure) Lionel O gauge train set to take some more pictures. My dad’s train set has gone from Christmas special to filling the majority of a 27’x27′ addition that I helped to design. Having a “movie set” helped this project. Since my parents don’t have anyone around anymore and can only dote on the grand kids when they head to Virginia, they’ve turned the train set into a seasonal set that changes for winter and summer. This set of pictures was done on the summer set. I wish I had this movie idea in place before embarking on this set of pictures but I still liked the product that I came out with. Since the view rate is always lower on our Facebook page, these photo journals will make it on to the site proper every time with additional information.

My dad was running the train at a very high clip which is why the train is so blurred. I figured there was nothing like a train robbery that started with some ludicrous way to get onto to said vehicle. Not John Cena looked better to have a jumping motion so he got set as the villain in this photo journal.

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I can’t let you rob this train Not John. These deep dish pizzas need to get to Chicago. – Not CM Punk

As you can see, there is green grass. During the winter set, it is covered in snow that my nieces help to do after Thanksgiving. I also did the remainder of the pictures after my dad had shut the trains down. To the left is the Steelers train which has a car for every Super Bowl victory along with an engine and caboose. He has three trains on the main platform. In the background is the trolley platform that has a European shelf which now contains the summer zoo that we bought for him this past Christmas.

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#SippyTimeBeer Review

SouthernTier_2xmas

Southern Tier2Xmas is another interesting take on a Christmas beer. It is a tribute to a glogg which is a mulled wine drank during winter in Scandinavia. This product is a beer though. There is plenty of mulling going on with orange peels, cardamom, cinnamon, clove, ginger root and most prominently figs. When I took my first swig of it, the figs and assortment of spices punched me in the mouth. There are so many spices that they get lost. It becomes one flavor aside from the figs. It’s not a typical fruit so it stands out. I didn’t like the beer at first. Baby Momma Drama disliked it enough to request drinking Columbus Brewing Company’s Winter Warmer. I’ll get to that one later. The day he asked for that though was the day I started liking the beer. It grew on me so drink with caution. Remember to take a look at TheFullPint for other Southern Tier beer reviews.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Raw

This kind of looks like my dog. Merry Christmas all over again.

I’m watching Impact Wrestling before starting this blog. I don’t get why the main event is a street fight. These guys don’t have this much built up tension and who cares if three heels don’t like Jeff Hardy? He’s been moved up the card too quickly and Roode still needs to prove himself as champ. Give him someone other than Hardy who is already pretty over. Roode needs to be built up more than Hardy. I doubt they humble Hardy by having him job. That outcome would be ideal though. I have no faith in TNA to do that though. I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I got to hang with plenty of friends and family. I missed my dogs but they’re down for the count now. Let’s roll.

Johnny Wooden GM comes out to CM Punk’s music. One of my colleagues said Punk tapped danced to a crappy segment already. Let’s see how this segment plays out. And put your initial on the @Stuntgranny feed you dumby. Johnny gives him the night off then calls it back. The segment was just kind of whatever. We know Punk isn’t going to fight Johnny tonight. Three matches is too much. Cool segment for the mystery person. I’m glad they’ve kept a lid on it and not revealed who it is. Speculation is rare these days.

Booker T takes on Cody Rhodes. This match gets downgraded from PPV too. I still haven’t watched Smackdown as they show a replay from the match between Rhodes & Zack Ryder. Cool trying to be too cool but Lawler finally calls him on it and corrects his history. Rare praise for Lawler. Twitter trend. I’m not drinking. They get a commercial break. That’s surprising but a good way to get them to a PPV. Lawler doing a good job defending the aging wrestler. Cool does the unspeakable and says a Cody win is inevitable. Always a sure sign the aggressor will lose. Booker kicks out at the last second. Cody loses to Booker. They put over Booker as the underdog. It’ll be good to have Rhodes win the war in a PPV match, hopefully. Zack Ryder thanks John Cena for starting his career. Cena tells him it’s Zack being ready for his moment. Cena tells Kane the year is going to end in a bang. The three opponents get a title shot next week. The opponents are Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler & Mark Henry. Is Henry still hurt? Can Punk actually pull this off? Weird Kelly Kelly, Big Show & Scott Armstrong segment.

Big Show needs to explain knocking out David Otunga on Smackdown. Otunga talks big. Show is going to fight him with one arm tied behind his back. What we always need too, more Johnny Wooden GM. Ziggler starts mocking Swagger. Vickie breaks up the bickering. She gets them to screw their heads on straight. Henry is walking thru to complete the dumb segment. The heels ran each other down for no real reason. Eve & Ryder are teaming together.

They take on Natalya & Tyson Kidd after the break. Hot damn, how predictable. Good win for Ryder or Eve, I suppose. July has the 1000th Raw. Good idea to start hyping it now. That’ll be three fun hours of drinking. Rough Ryder for the win. That would have been my choice too. Eve gets to fist pump. May as well use her as a valet.

John Cena comes to the ring. The Miz allows Kane to not answer for another week. Miz admits that his win at Wrestlemania was tainted by the Rock’s interference. Cena accepts the Miz’s challenge. The Miz yells at the crowd for chanting the wrong man’s name. I like it. He still needs a big win which he won’t get unless Kane interferes. The Miz gets counted out and reverses course on having to win. Yuck, he has to go for a Bears reference? Truth comes back and attacks Miz. Hopefully this opponent helps move Miz up the card permanently. Why is Miz getting such a good beating? Truth trying to be good guy crazy. It’s not working.

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In the case of Terri Runnels v. New Jack

Unrelated to the below story, here's a picture of an Austrian dude with a spaghetti strainer on his head.

Some new evidence has come to light, courtesy of this http://www.facebook.com/notes/new-jack/she-drew-first-blood-now-terri-runnels-is-toast/179764132087945:

In response to Terri Runnels and the garbage she is saying
1. I left Terri because she is an bi-polar alcoholic who gets every morning at 5:30 to make a very stiff vodka and cranberry….. EVERY MORNING!!
 
2. She’s hooked on percs,,,, BAD!!

3. She is very big liar and the Terri Runnels that you(the world) know is totally different from who I had to deal with. She not that little sweet innocent girl she pretends to be.

4. Her house is in foreclosure (public record) and been there for 2 years and she thought I was gonna be her savior.

5. She doesn’t want a man. She wants a butler and or driver.

6. She let her daughter bring a online stranger over for Christmas without checking him out. (WHAT KIND OF PARENT IS THAT)

.. BUT ONE THE MAIN REASONS IS THAT I FOUND OUT (the hard way) THAT SHE HAD HERPES SINCE SHE WAS 18 AND HAD NO PROBLEMS HIDING FROM PEOPLE WHILE HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX. I’M WAITING FOR MY TEST RESULTS …UPDATES COMING)

TRUST ME THIS IS GOING MUCH BIGGER THAN THE INTERNET!!

Just, several things come to mind here. One is, I would still crawl through a desert of broken glass just to hear a recording of Terri Runnels’ fart. Two, I’m surprised New Jack didn’t have herpes already. And three, most importantly, Facebook is basically the world’s garbage can, whether it be Marty Jannetty dumping random pictures into the garbage can or New Jack dumping these words into the garbage can, or what have you. It just is. – Dusty

Merry Christmas!

From all of us here at Stunt Granny, Merry Christmas.

If you don’t celebrate Christmas you are an idiot. You are totally missing out on a wealth of gifts and family guilt. So put down the Menorah. Toss the Koran away and pick up a failing evergreen tree and get in the Christmas mood. You don’t even need to muddy the waters with the whole Jesus thing. Embrace Santa and his crass consumer ways man!

Oh and we’ll be back Monday unless something totally crazy happens.

The Art of Wrestling – Christmas Edition III

I have no clue what is entailed in Kwanzaa.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling  Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. I don’t think I’ve seen a wrestling program before. TNA definitely hasn’t because they have no description for it. At least the WWE’s Encyclopedia has a description. I could listen to Don West’s 4:40 description but I don’t feel like looking at his bloated carcass. Leaving out a written description shows yet again why TNA is bush league. Take out five minutes of your time and write a description. It isn’t hard.

On the eigth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me eight Taz Beat-Down T-shirts, seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. Finally, a shirt to analyze. I have no idea why TNA produced a shirt for an announcer when they can barely get t-shirts out for their returning wrestlers. You can read my argument for not using “FTW” and bullet holes especially because of his on air lovefest with the world here. The shirt already has two strikes against it and I’m barely out of the blocks. Strike three comes with the random ass design on the front behind the text. I think it’s partially taken from one of his tattoos but considering he never shows them it’s hard to know either way. The fact that it randomly goes to the left shoulder and also un your arm pit on the right side. It shouldn’t be hard to keep the design visible. On the back, it says “Ol’ Fashion” on the top and “Beat Down” below the orange block and fist. Taz hasn’t stepped in the ring in so long and he’s fatter than ever before, there’s no reason to think Taz could give anyone a beat down. The giant fist just looks silly. I think that’s strike one & two on the next batter so this shirt went down looking. Thanks for nothing imaginary love, I hope you don’t mind me giving these to some homeless children that need them.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me nine TNA Winged Warrior T-shirts, eight Taz Beat-Down T-shirts, seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. The first thought when I saw this shirt was “Why doesn’t the World Elite have a shirt?”. My second thought was “Why doesn’t Doug Williams have his own shirt?” My third thought was “Doug Williams looks like a tool for modeling a company shirt since they’re always trying to keep him down.”

The front of the shirt, they center the TNA logo and the word “Wrestling” below it. The problem I have is with the spatter of blood that covers up the red “Wrestling”. The spatter works on the remainder of the shirt though. Below the text and blood spatter are wings. I’m not a fan of “Otal Nonstop Action” on the right sleeve. They should have “Total” on there and something on the left sleeve to off set it but all I can see is more blood spatter. That’s a bad combination.

On the back of the shirt, the left side is a giant wing. It is detailed fairly well and looks kind of nice since the white & grey offsets both the black of the shirt and red of the blood spatter. The wing extends down the back which helps to visually offset the gigantic TNA logo. Because the logo is so bright though, the wing would need to be all white to help it pop the same. The “Wrestling” text is covered by the wing just enough to piss me off. If you’re going to make graphics (text in this case, but even if it were just pictures) overlap, have more be hidden. If something happens once, it’s probably a mistake. If a design feature happens twice, it may be a pattern but one is never sure. If the feature happens three times, it’s definitely a pattern. At least they repeated a single letter being obscurred three times, but it looks bad. More letters should have been covered up.

Thank gawd my imaginary love has ceased getting me stuff from TNA. – Kevin

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