In the case of Terri Runnels v. New Jack

Unrelated to the below story, here's a picture of an Austrian dude with a spaghetti strainer on his head.

Some new evidence has come to light, courtesy of this http://www.facebook.com/notes/new-jack/she-drew-first-blood-now-terri-runnels-is-toast/179764132087945:

In response to Terri Runnels and the garbage she is saying
1. I left Terri because she is an bi-polar alcoholic who gets every morning at 5:30 to make a very stiff vodka and cranberry….. EVERY MORNING!!
 
2. She’s hooked on percs,,,, BAD!!

3. She is very big liar and the Terri Runnels that you(the world) know is totally different from who I had to deal with. She not that little sweet innocent girl she pretends to be.

4. Her house is in foreclosure (public record) and been there for 2 years and she thought I was gonna be her savior.

5. She doesn’t want a man. She wants a butler and or driver.

6. She let her daughter bring a online stranger over for Christmas without checking him out. (WHAT KIND OF PARENT IS THAT)

.. BUT ONE THE MAIN REASONS IS THAT I FOUND OUT (the hard way) THAT SHE HAD HERPES SINCE SHE WAS 18 AND HAD NO PROBLEMS HIDING FROM PEOPLE WHILE HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX. I’M WAITING FOR MY TEST RESULTS …UPDATES COMING)

TRUST ME THIS IS GOING MUCH BIGGER THAN THE INTERNET!!

Just, several things come to mind here. One is, I would still crawl through a desert of broken glass just to hear a recording of Terri Runnels’ fart. Two, I’m surprised New Jack didn’t have herpes already. And three, most importantly, Facebook is basically the world’s garbage can, whether it be Marty Jannetty dumping random pictures into the garbage can or New Jack dumping these words into the garbage can, or what have you. It just is. – Dusty

Merry Christmas!

From all of us here at Stunt Granny, Merry Christmas.

If you don’t celebrate Christmas you are an idiot. You are totally missing out on a wealth of gifts and family guilt. So put down the Menorah. Toss the Koran away and pick up a failing evergreen tree and get in the Christmas mood. You don’t even need to muddy the waters with the whole Jesus thing. Embrace Santa and his crass consumer ways man!

Oh and we’ll be back Monday unless something totally crazy happens.

The Art of Wrestling – Christmas Edition III

I have no clue what is entailed in Kwanzaa.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling  Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. I don’t think I’ve seen a wrestling program before. TNA definitely hasn’t because they have no description for it. At least the WWE’s Encyclopedia has a description. I could listen to Don West’s 4:40 description but I don’t feel like looking at his bloated carcass. Leaving out a written description shows yet again why TNA is bush league. Take out five minutes of your time and write a description. It isn’t hard.

On the eigth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me eight Taz Beat-Down T-shirts, seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. Finally, a shirt to analyze. I have no idea why TNA produced a shirt for an announcer when they can barely get t-shirts out for their returning wrestlers. You can read my argument for not using “FTW” and bullet holes especially because of his on air lovefest with the world here. The shirt already has two strikes against it and I’m barely out of the blocks. Strike three comes with the random ass design on the front behind the text. I think it’s partially taken from one of his tattoos but considering he never shows them it’s hard to know either way. The fact that it randomly goes to the left shoulder and also un your arm pit on the right side. It shouldn’t be hard to keep the design visible. On the back, it says “Ol’ Fashion” on the top and “Beat Down” below the orange block and fist. Taz hasn’t stepped in the ring in so long and he’s fatter than ever before, there’s no reason to think Taz could give anyone a beat down. The giant fist just looks silly. I think that’s strike one & two on the next batter so this shirt went down looking. Thanks for nothing imaginary love, I hope you don’t mind me giving these to some homeless children that need them.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me nine TNA Winged Warrior T-shirts, eight Taz Beat-Down T-shirts, seven Official TNA 2010 Wrestling Programs, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. The first thought when I saw this shirt was “Why doesn’t the World Elite have a shirt?”. My second thought was “Why doesn’t Doug Williams have his own shirt?” My third thought was “Doug Williams looks like a tool for modeling a company shirt since they’re always trying to keep him down.”

The front of the shirt, they center the TNA logo and the word “Wrestling” below it. The problem I have is with the spatter of blood that covers up the red “Wrestling”. The spatter works on the remainder of the shirt though. Below the text and blood spatter are wings. I’m not a fan of “Otal Nonstop Action” on the right sleeve. They should have “Total” on there and something on the left sleeve to off set it but all I can see is more blood spatter. That’s a bad combination.

On the back of the shirt, the left side is a giant wing. It is detailed fairly well and looks kind of nice since the white & grey offsets both the black of the shirt and red of the blood spatter. The wing extends down the back which helps to visually offset the gigantic TNA logo. Because the logo is so bright though, the wing would need to be all white to help it pop the same. The “Wrestling” text is covered by the wing just enough to piss me off. If you’re going to make graphics (text in this case, but even if it were just pictures) overlap, have more be hidden. If something happens once, it’s probably a mistake. If a design feature happens twice, it may be a pattern but one is never sure. If the feature happens three times, it’s definitely a pattern. At least they repeated a single letter being obscurred three times, but it looks bad. More letters should have been covered up.

Thank gawd my imaginary love has ceased getting me stuff from TNA. – Kevin

The Art of Wrestling – Christmas Edition II

Who says Hanukkah isn't as commercial a holiday as Christmas?

On the fourth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me 4 Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, 3 Abyss Masks, 2 Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a Pear Tree. I picked on TNA for a couple of their masks so my imaginary love had to have one from the WWE delivered to me. You may spend a lot more money on the Rey mask ($50 to $11.99) but at the quality between the products is as large as the price tags. It also comes in white, red, green red & black and red & white (both come with pants)  and royal blue. I think Rey’s mask looks pretty cool but I’m still not sure what an adult would do with this item. Even for a child, it’s good for going to a WWE event (maybe twice a year) and Halloween. Even though the product is better and there’s quite a variety to choose from, it doesn’t seem worth it to me.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. I can’t believe that DX hasn’t shilled for this product on TV. She had the right idea to get me something warm and fuzzy to put on my feet in the cold weather. I don’t mind the neon green stripes on the sides of the top of the shoe but it seems like they could add a little bit more to not make them so black. The problem I always find that stitching letter comes undone easily and becomes hard to read which appears to be happening from the beginning. They’ll get some use so this is probably the best present she’s given me so far even if DX sucks.

I visited Amiens Cathedral in France, too bad this isn't my picture.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my imaginary love got for me, six Undertaker Deadman Skull Caps, five pair of Degeneration X slippers, four Rey Mysterio Camo Replica Masks, three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a pear tree. I think the Deadman Forever moniker is a little odd considering his frequent layoffs (rightfully so) and impending retirement (It’ll be sooner than later) but if they want to go with it because he’s already “dead” then so be it. The text is a take on gothic. The imagery behind the text is similar to Gothic architecture which is a nice touch. It fits his character so this is a home run product. It should keep me warm on my walks with my dogs.

Three days of TNA products then three days of WWE products, unfortunately my imaginary love is going to get me three more days of TNA products next. – Kevin

The Art of Wrestling – Christmas Edition I

I celebrate Christmas. Have a grand old time if you celebrate something else.

It’s the season for giving so I figured it’d be a good time to feature some of the gifts on both TNA and WWE’s websites. I’ll parcel out the mocking so I’m going to start with some of ShopTNA’s deals for the holiday.

One the first day of Christmas, my imaginary love got me one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a Pear Tree. This is a great product according to the reviews because it’s heavy and the detailing of the paint. It’s only $19.99 now but the original price was $49.99. If I had any reservations about the quality of something I was ordering, I’d never shuck out that kind of money. As for great “detailing”, I just don’t see how it’s possible. It’s black paint on a white surface, there are no fucking details! I feel like it’s the moron trying to convince me that a white canvas should be hung in the Cleveland Museum of Art. The canvas sucked and so does this Sting Mask.

One the second day of Christmas,  my imaginary love got me two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a Pear Tree. I can’t wait to give these bears to my dogs so they can rip out the eyes and take the stuffing out. It’s a parallel to Sting’s career right now because he has glazed over eyes and is empty in the ring. The bear does have more detailing than the mask but I have no idea why it doesn’t have full face paint. It is amusing that the bear has the pussy strip that Sting doesn’t take the time to dye. It is also sporting a t-shirt that isn’t available for sale (not here, not here, not here, not here and not here). Wouldn’t it make sense to copy one of your shirts already made? It might entice the buyer of the bear to get a shirt too. I suppose that makes too much sense.

On the third day of Christmas, my imaginary love got me three Abyss Masks, two Sting Teddy Bears and one Sting Mask “Wall Art” in a Pear Tree. I think my imaginary love got me three of them because she saved $3 on each one. I can’t figure out why the picture in the advertisement is more about a ring bell than the mask. Thank goodness this toolbag is modeling the piece of garbage Don West is trying to sell. It sure looks like a quality product compared to the one Abyss wears. Why do you buy this mask? For Halloween? To wear it TNA events? Kids are stupid so I suppose they’ll wear anything.

My imaginary love also got me some WWE merchandise but that’ll wait for another post. – Kevin

Merry Christmas!

A Secret Touch Is A Gift Polly

A Secret Touch Is A Gift Polly.

Merry Christmas everyone, We here at Stunt Granny would like to take this moment to step away form our much cherished family time and give a big thank you to all of you whop visit this site on a daily basis or just sometimes. Posting will be a tad infrequent over the next few days due to the probable binge drinking on Eric’s part; the forced isolation Dusty performs every year; Kevin’s yearly gallivanting in Altoona and my mental spiral after too much family time and lack of hard drugs. So relish your time left on this planet and to all a Merry Christmas.

 

In the meantime, check out Eric’s Christmas video treasures as well as Stunt Granny Audio #22 and 23. All of this should get you through the Christmas weekend. -Jeremy

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