Gabe Sapolsky hates money, pro wrestling, you

For no reason

For no reason

Quote Mike Johnson:

When I reached out to Sapolsky, he noted that they would not be working with Wrestlecon this year as they could not come to a “business arrangement” with Highspots.com, the primary promoter/sponsor of the event due to the costs involved with the Wrestlecon venue.

Okay, so here’s the deal as I understand it. Wrestlecon is the indy’s way of weaseling in on the cash cow that is WrestleMania weekend. I believe all the promotions should band together for this event, as a way of maximizing profit for all parties. Since this is wrestling and that would seem to make sense, no dice there.

Wrestlecon is currently slated to be this amount of shit sandwich:

* Saturday AM session, 10 am to 4 pm: Includes admission to vendors, autograph and photo sessions; Marty DeRosa comedy show; $5 Wrestling event; & more.

* Saturday PM session, 7 pm to 1 am: Includes admission into the signing & vendors area; an independent show; a live taping of Colt Cabana’s podcast; & more. For an additional $25, fans can upgrade to a front row ticket.

*Sunday session, 10 am to 3 pm: Includes live tapings of The Kevin Steen Show & Old School with Steve Corino; & admission to the signing & vendor area; & more.

Meanwhile…

the “WWN Live Experience” in a separate venue is “live events and iPPV shows from Evolve, Shimmer, Kaiju Big Battel and Dragon Gate USA, with shows on Friday, multiple shows on Saturday and Sunday afternoon.”

So Gabe Sapolsky’s aversion to doing good things and making money shines through again. He’d rather get into an “I can one up you!” pissing contest, thus spreading the indy dollar thin and no one wins. As Jeremy put it early today, Gabe is that liberal college douchebag who doesn’t care about making money. Maybe his brain is doing a semester abroad to try to find itself.

And ROH? Well, ROH will get back to you real soon! – Dusty

Headlines: Beth Phoenix written off TV, Colt and Pearce besmirch NWA, DDP moves in with Jake Roberts

In news that has been brewing for months, according to Prowrestling.net (and according to watching WWE Monday Night Raw last night), Beth Phoenix has been written off TV, via an angle where she was fired by Whatever Type of General Manager Vickie Guerrero. Phoenix asked for and was granted her release a while back, so there really isn’t much to say other than good luck keeping Jeremy Maes away from you while you read your zombie comic books.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Colt Cabana threw down his NWA “World” Title belt after beating Adam Pearce in the seventh of their best-of-seven series in a match in Australia. Since the NWA belt has been thrown down more times than Lilian Garcia, the real news here is that Colt Cabana and Adam Pearce were paid to travel to and wrestle in Australia. Not that they aren’t worth it, because they are (two of my top 10 draft pics, easily), but it shows how upside down these Aussies are, dropping that kind of coin on transportation and payoffs. Oy, was Rick Tick Tillah and Moykey McGongileydoo bof already booooked that noight? Nine hundred dollaridoos?? Ah, screw it, I’ll just have a cup of coffee…

Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, Diamond Dallas Page and Jake “The Snake” Roberts are working on a documentary where DDP helps Jake get in shape for one last run, employing DDP Yoga over an 8-week period. To ensure success, DDP has moved in with Jake, and Jake has agreed to regular drug testing throughout the filming. The filming will end when Jake’s landlord gets tired of seeing his coked-out ex-wrestler tenant being accompanied by a scummy 50-year-old man in a leather vest and tight Guess jeans and boots them both out. (Other punchlines include: “This video will resemble less a documentary on health and more a low-budget docudrama about the Village People,” and “These two guys could leave a ring around the Atlantic Ocean, so I hope Jake’s landlord has a Rug Hospital, not just the Doctor.” Eh, none of these were any good. I need to keep my day job. Oh, and click on this link for TWNP.com, which I assume stands for Talking to Women is Not a Problem for us, to see how well Jake’s workout regimen is going.) -Eric

CM Punk throws fat (alleged) asshole fan’s autograph book in St. Louis airport trash can

Proof that CM Punk will occasionally sign an autograph.

According to the Wrestling Observer (which is loading super slow right now or else I’d link to it) by way of Wrestling Inc. (which should thrill Kevin to no end), CM Punk was involved in a nonphysical altercation with a fan at the St. Louis airport last night. Apparently, one fan was “rude in his approach” in asking Punk for an autograph, and when that fan was turned down, another, fatter, assholier fan yelled at Punk, so Punk threw his autograph book in a trash can. Other nearby WWE talent then asked airport visitors if they knew “the fat guy” whose book got tossed. Punk Tweeted about the incident:

Unacceptable behavior.

This is for all the respectful fans I saw at the airport. Right on. Thanks.

@cowboyjwk@CMPunk you’re becoming Mr. Big Head.” Nah. Just don’t like rude people.

…as did Ricardo Rodriguez, who saw the incident first-hand:

Man, you guys seriously go from fan mode to creepy mode to psycho mode sometimes.. #StLouis

Thanks for noticing, Ricardo! In fact, when Colt Cabana asked me, Dan and Matt for an extra $5 to take a picture with the NWA championship belt, I screamed at the top of my lungs, jumped up and down, and urinated on my brand new “Colt of Personality” T-shirt. Then he threw *me* in a trash can. What a story I have to tell! -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio: Waterloo, Iowa Hall of Fame 2012 Edition

Three of these things are not like the other.

Join us for a very special edition of Stunt Granny Audio, recorded immediately following the activities of the George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions in Waterloo, Iowa, held in conjunction with the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum. Eric, Dan and Matt attended a number of those events, including the Impact Pro Wrestling show (Matt’s first indy show!), the tribute to Danny Hodge, the Q&A session hosted by Bill Apter, and the banquet and hall of fame inductions. Hear first-hand accounts of the wrestling show, including #MountRushmoring with Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana, time spent at the hotel bar schmoozing with wrestlers and fans, asking good questions to balance the bad ones, and of course the fallout of Kurt Angle no-showing his induction into the hall of fame. Also, what games should you play at the Isle casino? Where should you eat pizza when you stop in Waterloo? All this and so much more if you just click the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show- Waterloo Iowa Hall of Fame 2012 Edition

Stunt Granny Interview Series: @ExtremelyCute Colin Delaney of @AIWrestling

Does Kevin grill Colin Delaney like Tazz?

Stunt Granny brings back its’ interview series with former ECW star and current Absolutely Intense Wrestling’s Colin Delaney. He joins Kevin to talk about the JT Lightning Invitational Tournament which takes place May 11th and 12th at Turner’s Hall in Cleveland Ohio. Delaney talks about Tommy Dreamer and his opponent, Archibald Peck with valet Veronica. What will those two men have in common after Peck’s first round match with Delaney? Marion Fontaine and Facade will battle for the right to take on Delaney. What does he think of these men? Is he worried about either of them? Will other big names like BJ Whitmer, Colt Cabana, Matt Cross and Josh Prohibition be a concern to Delaney? Allysin Kay defends the AIW Women’s Title against Jennifer Blake? What special insight does Delaney have in this match up? Find out that and more when you click on the link below!

Stunt Granny Interview Series- Colin Delaney

Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Survivor Series Review, Jeremy & Eric, Nov. 21, 2011

the rock

I shit you not, this image came up when searching "chewing up scenery."

Jeremy: So what you think of Survivor Series?

Eric: I’m not gonna lie: it’s the first WWE PPV I’ve seen since we went to WrestleMania, and I liked it a lot. Thumbs higher than the middle. What about you?

Jeremy: Ehh, it was a decent show but for $55.00 I expect more. No new talent, nothing shocking or anything to make you talk about the show. I expected Nash or Triple H, Skip Sheffield, anything or anyone to make it a head slapper for not ordering and it wasn’t one of those shows.

Eric: I paid $5 to see it with a group of people I’d never met, and thankfully they were making references to Giant Gonzalez and random stuff like that, so they were cool.

Jeremy: I was all on my own. Well, I had Twitter.

Eric: Honestly, had Hunter or Nash come out, I would have slapped my head for being suckered into watching it. I’m so happy those two assholes stayed out of it.

Jeremy: Figured Nash would come out to cost Punk the title and Triple H would have stopped him. Suppose they are letting that angle actually play out for a while.

Eric: I thought there was plenty to talk about, just nothing earth-shattering. Dolph Ziggler coming into his own even more is worth talking about, yes?

Continue reading

Stunt Granny Audio #161

Eric makes a triumphant return as he teams up with Jeremy in this edition of Stunt Granny Audio. The boys discuss the latest happenings behind the scenes of TNA or is it Impact Wrestling. How does the influx of new talent to the talent relations and booking staff matter?  How the hell do you possibly add more talent to the active roster? Did you know TNA has at least fifty active competitors already? Who could they possibly bring in that would matter in the least bit? Just why anyone thinks things will change as long as Hulk Hogan is in charge and he is in charge.  They also manage to talk some WWE with Mason Ryan and his creepy hair. Also, how has CM Punk gotten over the elbow drop? Yeah it’s a short segment but whatever. Check it out!

Stunt Granny Show #161

Son of a bitch, Jeff Katz steals Shawn Daivari from me for Wrestling Revolution project

*sniff sniff* "Smells like money over here."

You cut right to the heart of me, Jeff Katz: According to Prowrestling.net, Katz announced that the eighth cast member of his Wrestling Revolution project is Shawn Daivari.

We couldn’t be more proud to showcase the completely terrorist and sheik-free talents of Dara “Shawn” Daivari in the WRESTLING REVOLUTION PROJECT.

I didn’t win the lottery fast enough: Katz has nabbed some serious free-agent talent for this project, including Colt “Your Stuff is in the Mail, Jeff Brown” Cabana, Kenny Omega and Ken Doane (as well as former WWE superstar MVP). If he’s able to pull the Human Tornado out of retirement and convince Mike Quackenbush to work for him along with running Chikara, I’ll eat my hat and urinate on my fantasy booking notebook. (P.S. Would I have made Daivari into a stereotypical sheik character? Of course! The Sheik of Freakish, Sudden Musculature. License to print money.) -Eric

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 8/27/11

1. Matt Hardy – Pointing out that he has made yet another mistake is just getting old.  Can he please do something that proves us wrong? Crashing your Corvette in to a tree isn’t going to do it. – Jeremy

2. Ken Doane – There has been a Ken Doane sighting, friends. He was announced as another member of The Wrestling Revolution Project. You may remember him, with a groan, as Kenny Dykstra. He should be on par with Dolph Ziggler or The Miz by now but oh well. – Jeremy

3. Todd Grisham – So he was wished a fond farewell by William Regal on NXT. Is this a joke? Grisham is going to ESPN? This has to mean he is covering soccer for the network right? Not sure I can take him seriously as an anchor on Sportscenter. Then again anyone doing Sportscenter is hard to take seriously. – Jeremy

4. Colt Cabana – Colt joins the aforementioned Ken Doane as a) a member of the new Wrestling Revolution project and b) another guy I was going to hire for my wrestling company as soon as I won the lottery. Dammit.– Eric

5. Ric Flair – Man, he got skewered by Grantland.com (and honestly so). The thing is, Flair would probably remove the skewer and try to use it as collateral.– Eric

6. Dr Pepper 10 – Sorry, with Matt Hardy dominating the news, there are very few wrestling-related things to talk about. So I’ll just promote the cool, refreshing taste of Dr Pepper 10; even with only 10 calories, it tastes just as much like regular Dr Pepper as Diet Dr Pepper. *kschkschchhh* *gulp* Ahhhhhhh… – Eric

7. CM Punk vs. Kevin Nash vs. HHH vs. John Laurinitis – Still plenty of speculation going on in this little storyline. I’m digging it. Good old Johnny is the main text sending suspect in my book but I’ll let it play out. It helps that Punk is still killing it on the mic. Bigfoot could give Pipe Bomb plenty of TV time, even more than a championship reign could bring. – Kevin

8. North Carolina Indy Wrestler – Sure, I might be piling on with Matt Hardy news but this dude needs to stop being a chickenshit. NCIW obviously enjoys being invited to the annual Hardy Holiday Party and partaking in the booze and the pills, so to not get himself uninvited he goes anonymous with his letter. Be a man, step up and say who you are. If you know Matt’s friends are enablers, why do you want to go to the parties anyway? – Kevin

9. Rey Mysterio – He’s gone for a while, kids. ACL surgery is going to put him on the shelf for at least six months. Heal up and come back for one last go around before your knees are completely shot. – Kevin

10. Ivory – There is a small island in the Pacific Northwest with a population of around 8,000. One of those 8,000 people is former WWE diva Ivory. Every year at the county fair they have what is called “Trashion Fashion,” which is where people use recycled materials to make costumes. This year, Ivory entered the contest. Her costume? Using discarded pet hair to make a poodle costume. You can watch video of this here (http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/sanjuans/jsj/entertainment/128023363.html). So if you’ve never met a furry, now you can say that you have. – Dusty

11. Hulk Hogan – He apparently still hates Vince Russo after all these years:

Apparently at the last PPV, when Hogan found out what the finish was for Sting vs. Angle, he blew his stack and cut a promo on Russo saying that he didn’t know anything about wrestling because he was never a wrestler. As if you were a wrestler it makes you immune from not getting how to book wrestling . And if you weren’t, it immediately drains your IQ to where you think the only guy in wrestling who makes sense and knows what they’re talking about is Ultimate Warrior. Well, given that most who watched the show had the same reaction as Hogan, groaning over the finish, it has nothing to do with being a wrestler. But at TV, they were back to at least giving the idea whatever heat was gone.

I hope you can get past just how awful Dave’s writing was there. In any event, as someone on a message board pointed out about this, I wonder what Hulk thinks of Eric Bischoff and Dixie Carter. Also, you’d think he could use his stroke to push Russo out of the company. It’s almost like he’s full of shit or something. But… that… can’t… be… – Dusty

Headlines: Matt Hardy can’t admit to sucking, Young Bucks can’t either, Del Rio (rightfully) gets no love

matt hardy

Who woulda thought, huh?

According to Prowrestling.net (and I saw this earlier on his Twitter account, so also according to me), Matt Hardy lashed out at a fan who must have been speaking the God’s honest gospel truth about how much Matt Hardy sucks as a pro wrestler and a human being (and an actor, and an entertainer, and a ghost hunter, and did I mention human being?).

Please bet against me and insult and have fun at my expense. You you’ve never done anything and never will. While I sit home with enough money to last two lifetimes.

A) Jason Powell corrected Hardy’s spelling because he originally wrote to “best” against him. The best thing that’s ever been against Hardy is the wall that props his drunk ass up at the Waffle Stop while he devours the left side of the menu. (And he can afford it, too, because he has enough money for the two lifetimes he’s very quickly burning through.) B) It’s a good thing we’re a dirt sheet, because that means he can’t lash out at us. Remember, he basically said that already.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, the Young Bucks recently [edit for who-gives-a-fuck] listen guys, you suck, your schtick sucks, and you’re only getting press because there are 10,000 sites like ours hungry for interviews with disgruntled former independent contractors. If you can make enough money on the indy circuit, do it while you can, because eventually everyone is going to see through this spot-monkey bullshit and bandana-wearing garbage and toss you out like yesterday’s garbage. Not that it’s any of my business, but just how much money do you think Marty Jannetty and Ricky Morton are pulling in for that same act, just 25 years later? Then again, they’ve both made enough money to last two lifetimes.

Speaking of indy guys, according to Prowrestling.net, Wrestling Revolution has named its first two roster members, Colt Cabana and Dr. Luther (some old Canadian). Wrestling Revolution began as a Kickstarter project created by Jeff Katz, former WCW Internet nerd turned Hollywood executive producer. Rather than force you to sit through a three-minute video of a fat bearded guy green-screened in front of a wrestling ring he’ll never step foot inside, let me give you the rundown: Katz wants to steal my No. 1 draft pick of Colt Cabana and create a wrestling “league” based on a shortened storyline schedule similar to that of cable TV seasons. Interesting concept, and I hope it takes off. Or I hope it fails at the same time I win the lottery so I can hire Colt myself.

Finally, according to an eyewitness report from WWE Monday Night Raw (posted at Prowrestling.net), WWE Champion Alberto del Rio has no crowd heat whatsoever. Two guesses as to why that could be: He’s not very good, and the writers have completely fucked up a very simple aristocratic character by making him smile like a retard at the zoo and say his own name every week. Come on, let him get down to kicking ass and shoving pesos down his opponents’ throats. Heat = instant. -Eric

%d bloggers like this: