#TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 2

robie_house_by FLW

After a fabulous dinner at Villa Nova and a half a bottle of Chianti, we returned home to catch Sunday’s episode of Total Diva’s. I have to admit, it was better than last Sunday’s, but considering I drank a half a bottle of Chianti, I still kinda daydreamed through episode 2.

It began with a few highlights from last week and quickly went into The Bella Twins. Nikki and John along with Brie and Daniel took a trip to Florida to John’s massive yet humble abode. All the bells and whistles with a dressing room and an indoor pool with a slide. It made me think of Cribs from MTV. (Kevin’s Edit: I wouldn’t use the word humble in there. Just like Cribs, his house was huge and bland. All white everywhere because he’s got not taste in housing. Above is the Robie House by Frank Lloyd Wright. That’s taste. Granted, he can’t design a house for you these days but John, you have the money. Find an architect who won’t give you the same bland shitty house every other famous person gets. Call Frank Gehry, Tadao Ando, Renzo Piano, you get the point. They don’t even need to be famous like I just listed.)  Nikki gave the tour of the home, giving us insight of how at home she truly feels which is hilarious since in last weeks episode John said he wasn’t ready to commit yet, and yet she is driving around in his Maserati? I think the best part of this scene was Daniel Bryan in his Hawaiian swim trunks. Brie, yet overwhelmed by his home expresses how at home the house feels.

We then move onto Washington where John and Nikki visit Daniel Bryan’s home with Brie. Daniel lives in his parents house, and everywhere you look it’s his parents furniture, drawing and even a teenage picture of Daniel on the fireplace. Can you say, a little to close to your family? I’m all for keeping it in the family, but I agree with John and Nikki, this house screams makeover and making it their home and not Daniel’s home that he grew up in. (KE: How do I approach this one? Let’s just say my taste isn’t the same as my parents. I don’t know the story behind Bryan’s parents but they have done no work to their home. My Parent’s place looks nothing like the place I grew up in because of renovations. Break from the past man, get updated even if you like that country feel. Yuck.)  There is a semi funny wood splitting competition where the girls dress skanky and try to distract the guys …. in which John Cena says he already has wood….good lord! The girls end up winning, due to lack of effort from Daniel. Oh and just a side note, lots of bird crap in Washington so watch where you step.

Eva Marie and Jojo, these two are just boring. We find out Eva Marie has a 2 month old boyfriend..um fiance? That’s right, after I discover a split error where we see her engagement ring before she gets it in the box of donuts, classy. Surprising, no. It’s the WWE. Let’s get real. Oh and she said yes, if you were on the edge of your seat.

I used to think of Creepers as guys that sit at the bar with tight pants, slicked back hair and that smirk on their face but then I saw Fandango and Holy Shit! A CREEPER! This guy exudes creepiness. So Eva Marie, the pre WWE Diva thinks that if she is Fandango’s ballroom dancer then she will be in, um, I knew there wasn’t a brain up there. Well, she tells the WWE she can ballroom dance, but newsflash, she can’t. No brainer there. So she goes to dinner with Fandingo, I mean Fandango and she tells him of the time she met him at Wrestlemania where he kissed his own hand. Good gravy! What a schmuck. I’ll skip the boring and just tell you, the lie came out, and Stephanie McMahon told her if she does it again, she’s fired.

The last are Ariane and Trinity. Ariane thinks she can get better costumes that are more sexy somewhere else. She gets this extremely short lime green outfit and calls Trinity all excited. We hear the conversation and let’s just say Jimmy Uso is NOT happy that Trinity’s ass is going to be sticking out, as it’s known that Ariane has no boobs or butt and Trinity does. Trinity tries on the outfit and we find out her ‘cookies’ are showing and it’s fuzzed out. I just sat there and thought, what the hell? They go back to their seamstress, where kudos to her, she say’s she’s not fixing it so they go out in some weird orange outfit. (KE: The seamstress gives a crap about the Funkadactyls as much as the WWE does. Go behind her back but make your partner give a shit about her outfit. If she knew her cookie & booty would be showing, go to the designers with Ariane. Dumb bell.)

Natalya doesn’t have much of a part in this episode, thank God no whining this week from her, and thankfully the DVR cut off so I didn’t have to sit through a preview for next Sunday. As with all WWE productions, nothing ends on time. As I feel I have wasted another 40 minutes of my time watching this disaster, it was at least a bit more comical. So if you want to see what happens next on this slightly more entertaining episode than this past Monday Night’s Raw, you can try giving it a try Sunday night at 10 on E! – M (& Kevin)

TNA star Matt Morgan to appear on old MTV show “Made”

Douche hair? Check. Glittery MMA shirt with dress pants? Check. Flowers in background? Double check.

According to PWTorch.com, TNA star Matt Morgan will appear on an episode of “Made.” The show still airs on MTV, but under the Viacom media umbrella, CMT has picked up a version of the show aimed at adults. Morgan appears in an episode where a 28-year-old police officer attempts to fulfill his dream of becoming a TNA superstar. Other people who have had that same dream include White Trash McGee, Dipshit Reynolds, Big Shirtless Ron, and Abyss. Lesson to be learned: If you dream of being a WWE superstar, work your way up through the ranks, then try out for the highly rated, critically acclaimed “Tough Enough;” if you dream of being a TNA wrestler, go to the same show where fat girls get dressed up as prom queens.

In other news, my band, Hold For Swank, has had original music used on similar reality shows, such as “Real World/Road Rules Challenge,” “True Life,” “Cribs” and “Parental Control.” In fact, 11 of our songs have been picked up for nearly two dozen episodes of these shows and more. This alone makes us better than Matt Morgan. -Eric

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