TNA releases… wait, TNA released some people?

Least slutty picture I could find from my work computer that everyone can see now.

From the “Never Thought I’d See the Day” Department, which is right next door to the “Hoarding” Department and the “I Have So Many Wrestlers to Cut $100 Checks To That I’m Going to Murder Myself” Payroll Office… oh, and according to a few articles at Prowrestling.net, TNA has released some wrestlers! Holy crap! The company whose roster page is 18 columns wide by infinity long has released Joey Ryan, Taeler Hendrix, Crimson and Christian York, while also allowing Madison Rayne’s contract to expire. I personally think that, with all of the on-screen drama his Gut Check segment created, that the Ryan release is a work. The others make perfect sense, as Crimson is useless, Christian York forgot it’s not 2000 anymore, and I’m not entirely sure if Taeler Hendrix is a male or a female. In summary, good riddance to bad rubbish, although here’s hoping someone makes lemonade out of this Joey Ryan thing. (Leave it to TNA to make AIDS out of lemonades.)

Funny I mentioned payroll a minute ago, given the other news from Prowrestling.net that TNA has been behind on payroll lately. Here’s a snippet from the story that will make Chris Sabin feel really good:

One source noted that it was widespread enough that even a prominent former TNA Champion was telling colleagues that the company was six weeks behind on his pay.

Super! Does this mean Sting will quit buying red lipstick to go with his 16-year-old Crow face paint? Or, on the flipside, that Kurt Angle will need to endorse more meal supplements? I’d rather see him go back to hawking pizza. -Eric

@ImpactWrestling Twitter Compilation & Aftermath

Tweet: We’re now following @REALBully5150 because of another fun exchange between Joseph Park & him. The sentence was long. Park > Abyss. Aftermath: You can follow us @Stuntgranny just in case you’re new to the site. Ray started off slow but his mic work was better with Park in the ring. I’m so happy to not see the Abyss gimmick. It’s such a hacky rip off that just about anything he’d do other than it would be better. Park happens to be a fun, unimposing baby face which doesn’t get used enough.Good segment.

Tweet: Why did the Aries & Hogan feel like they taped in separate studios? Aftermath: They talked past each other because neither of their egos could share the camera. Bad segment.

Tweet: I’m finally getting sucked into this dumb AJ Styles story line. Still not worth the garbage that came before. Aftermath: They interviewed Dixie Carter about the father of Claire’s kid. This material has turned me because it’s very Jerry Springer or Maury with the whole baby daddy material. It’d crack me up with Kaz, Daniels & Styles had to take paternity tests. Good segment.

Tweet: Crimson dropping like a rock. First Morgan, now Devon who in no way needs that win. AJ Lee >>>>>>>>>> Madison Rayne. Aftermath: Devon is a good steady hand. Crimson still needs help. Did I use enough greater than symbols? Bad segment.

Tweet: Sabin didn’t feel real to me. Roode played his part well. Aftermath: I can’t add more.

Tweet: Flip Cassanova is fighting @JohnnyGargano ‘s clone who is related the Demolition Man. Good to see #PRIMEWrestling represent. Aftermath: Flip is still a bit sloppy & caused Dakota Darsow’s likely broken nose. Flip does look like’s he’s improved even with the problems.

Tweet: Glad that Tenay & Taz explained Gail Kim’s clause like it was a hostage situation. They call the match fine right after. Tweet #2: Why did the champ just get the sucker finisher then pin? Tara doesn’t need to look that strong. Aftermath: It felt like Al Qaeda dropped in thirty seconds then left. Bad match for the ladies which was made worse by Tara hitting the Widow’s Peak then letting Tessmacher hit her finisher too. Gail shouldn’t be getting her comeuppance the week before a title match. Bad segment.

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Get Krimson on TNA television

We don’t normally cheerlead around here but in this case I am making an exception. Dixie Carter, the owner of TNA, is taking requests on her Facebook page for new indy talent to appear on Impact as part of the Gut Check garbage they are trying on Impact.  My comment got lost and will clearly go unnoticed but the thinking here is that enough people mention the same person over and over that maybe it will lead somewhere.

In this case I am requesting we stuff the ballot box, if there is one, in favor of PWO’s main star Krimson. If you aren’t familiar with his work go check it out because he is great. He has successfully aped Heath Ledger’s Joker and made it his own. Yeah the comparison is definitely easy to make but he pulls it off so effectively he deserves the chance.

Oh, and there is also the simple fact that Dixie Carter and her henchmen ripped off Krimson’s gimmick and name. If you aren’t familiar with it check this out. Yeah it is for another site but who cares. TNA made it that much harder for an Indy talent to make money due to their own lack of ideas.

So please go over to Dixie’s Facebook page and request Krimson. He deserves at least a small shot from TNA after all of the garbage they pulled on him. -Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Jeff Hardy's shirt reminds me of Impressionist paintings. This one is Sunrise by Monet, who is a favorite of mine.

James Storm is distraught over not winning the TNA Title. I’m not the biggest fan of this happening. They do make things work. I thought Bobby Roode would have been dropping the title too soon, which I don’t think I’d said in my previous reviews. I still think Storm should have won but they gave him a nice out by having him practically won. Roode comes out to gloat. I’m digging the new hair cut. It fits a suit better. Roode says he has no opponents left which brings out Mr. Anderson. Roode tells him to get to the back of the pack. Jeff Hardy hobbles out. He thinks he deserves a title shot. Him & Anderson argue. Hulk Hogan wants all the champs out in the ring later. Hardy will fight Anderson.

Crimson & Bully Ray team against Matt Morgan & Austin Aries. Morgan starts against Crimson. They continue to do the heavy work but Crimson was on offense most of the time. Aries gets the tag and brings the fun to the match. Bully Ray pulls the trunks to win. Garrett Bischoff is sauntering in the back.

Hardy thinks it’s his turn to get the title. Jeff thinks it was a good call by Hogan for the match. Garrett comes out. The crowd is excited for the guys around him but go silent when he starts talking. He thanks AJ Styles, RVD & Anderson along with Aries in the back. Ric Flair interrupts the blow jobs. Flair tells Garrett the truth when he rips his mic work. This story continues. Please kill me. They bleep the Bischoff for Eric. Woof. If you’re going to rip someone else’s mic work, bring something other than your worst. Christopher Daniels was holding evidence about AJ Styles. Double Ugh.

Magnus & Samoa Joe talk to Devon about the champs meeting. Short & pointless. Kurt Angle is taking on AJ Styles. My cable cut out of the match but went to commercial. I didn’t miss much. Styles is in control after the break. Daniels gives AJ whatever is in the mystery envelope. AJ screams “How’d you get this?” Angle rolls up AJ for the win. If it was AJ this whole time, why did you wait to reveal it? Stop continuing story lines that suck. Joseph Park tries to talk to Gunner. Park wants answers. Gunner tells him to ask Bully Ray because they wrestled together last.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Read below if you want the fun stuff from this week. I’ll keep the depressing stuff off of my introductions. Who wants to hear that? We’ve all got enough of that. Let’s roll.

I’ve finally set my DVR to record an extra five minutes during this show. Hulk Hogan gets the first intro from Dixie Carter because he didn’t get enough air time last week. He books a match between Crimson & Matt Morgan for Lockdown. Hogan sets up a women’s championship challenge who will take on Gail Kim. Hogan trades insults with Ric Flair who doesn’t have a mic. Bobby Roode shows up late with his scruffy looking security team. Roode tries to tell Hogan off but he puts the brakes on it. Roode has to wrestle Mr. Anderson. Hogan then books Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle next. Hogan proved me wrong. He got down to business with that segment.

I’m digging Angle’s new tights, more specifically the “Angle” on the leg portion that looks and is colored like the Olympic rings. Jeff Hardy started on offense. Kurt Angle got control before the commercial break. Good place for the match to be in. Hardy takes back over after the break. Triple suplexes by Angle. I’ve always dug the top rope belly to belly over head suplex from Angle. It should really end a match sometime. Hardy started a low blow. Good for him. Who doesn’t know that’s coming from a heel who just held a ref as a shield? Angle leaves. They stopped at a good time. Angle & Hardy could have a better match. Hogan is backstage and informs Angle he has a cage match at Lockdown with Jeff. Ric Flair talks to Eric Bischoff. That’s how informative it was. Bully Ray changes his name to Calfzilla. He says he’s the next world champion. Bully Ray is going to take out Austin Aries.

Bully Ray has eaten some large chicken wings. Austin Aries comes out. Aries shushs him then assaults him with a mic. Aries ends up power bombed after punching Ray in the head. Joseph Park is looking for Abyss still.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

How is this not part of the Pie Shops collection?

In less than twenty four hours, one Jeremy Maes and his lady friend will be in Columbus to kick off a weekend of shenanigans for Wrestlemania. It’s not quite being there but we’re hoping to do more on the site. The Hall of Fame being on Monday isn’t going to help in the content department. In the mean time, I’ll bring you some coverage that isn’t the WWE. Let’s roll.

It appears as if I missed nothing last week in regards to Hulk Hogan. Dixie Carter said he has until the main event (I’m guessing) to make his choice. Bobby Roode comes down to the ring with his legal adviser and security. Why are they not called lawyers in wrestling? As I ask, Roode calls him a lawyer. The security is to help James Storm, who naturally comes out after Roode tells him not to. Glad Storm called them mall cops. Storm gets ambushed by Bully Ray. Nothing much happens except Roode fleeing. Storm challenges them both to a match. What is it with the TNA stars going two on one? AJ Styles just made the same dumb mistake. Madison Rayne sits down with Gail Kim. Gail got her a tiara to make up for their rough month. They seem to make up. Cool deal. They’re better as a team.

Christy Hemme is introducing people from the crowd for some reason. The boy beside her hasn’t hit puberty because he isn’t staring at her fabulous tits. Madison is taking on Velvet Sky. For some reason, the Hulk & Dixie segment is next. Velvet is expanding her offense but she still doesn’t seem smooth. Velvet stole HHH’s finisher! Ha. Whatever. It was a modified Pedigree. Makes sense to go face versus heel. Hemme interviews Velvet. She never got her rematch. For some reason, the camera man focuses on Velvet’s stomach as she makes the belt gesture. Woof.

Bully Ray uses BFF for the second time in a couple of minutes. He gives a unification speech. Dixie & Hulk met on a park bench with a camera man acting like a peeping Tom. They said the cameras were there so why would they act like that? I want to punch the camera man. Or the director. Dixie wants Hogan to fix his mistakes. Why is he her only option? Lots of people can run companies. Bring in Shane McMahon. He’s not on WWE TV. I feel like they should have aired this before Dixie said the same thing at the top of the show. We get Crimson and Matt Morgan review. They’re up next.

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Kevin’s Blog: #iMPACTWrestling – For The Hell of It

I’m tired but I’m going to start doing this review. I might not finish it before I sleep. I don’t care. It’ll get finished once the dogs take a nap later today. It’s 12:42 AM EST. Let’s roll.

We get a review of the Victory Road main event, Sting vs Bobby Roode. They showed film of Roode getting ready to attack Dixie Carter. Roode is hard to take seriously with dry hair. So I’m glad I didn’t pay for this pay per view. Roode duct taped Sting to the ropes. Oh, we’re going to still shoots now. Dixie attacked as Sting’s shield. Back to still shoots. Weird combo of review. Back to film. Don’t you have to fire a guy who is that insubordinate? I can’t attack my boss and keep my job. Dixie Carter comes out first. More disrespect is being tossed out by Bobby Roode. The crowd is right “Fire Bobby”. Sting comes out. He gives the old “not the right kind of revenge” speech. The crowd go sheep. For some reason, they go to commercial thinking this is a cliff hanger.

Sting is relinquishing his GM duties. He wants to be a wrestler. Not a GM. He’s got to rest because of his concussion. Sting’s got a man for the job. It’s Hulk Hogan. Sting tells her to trust him because he’s “real” now. I’m not dicking around with previews or ring entrances. Bully Ray is super freaking pissed. He’s going to take hostages out.

Zema Ion, Anthony Neese and Kid Kash take on Austin Aries for the X Division Title after a commercial break. Two weird breaks to start the show. They’re still protraying Aries as a heel. You wait for a baby face pop to bring you back. He will get some cheers. The match was fine until Bully Ray takes out everyone. He saves Aries for last. Good way to get his heat back. The Mexicans show back up and their car is being towed. They are questioned to win their car back. Anarquia can’t spell Guadalajara. I needed spell check. They are going to wait until after their match so that they can earn the money back. Stupid.

Rosita & Sarita are taking on ODB & Eric Young. Tazz admits that the wedding will have a hitch since all wrestling weddings do.Rosita tries to act tough to ODB. Sarita comes in to do the heavy lifting for the heels. Rosita comes back in for some reason. EY does cart wheels after the hot tag.  EY has pink trunks on. ODB goes jealous rage. She gets mad at EY but still kisses him. ODB shoves him onto Rosita for the pin. Weird.

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TNA coming to the big screen again?

Dixie Carter just won’t learn. After carrying one PPV, Bound For Glory, in movie theatres they are at it again with this year’s edition of Lockdown. For those of you, like myself, who had no idea Bound For Glory was in movie theatres, this is your opportunity to see TNA in the big screen just as god intended.

Yes you can go watch Christopher Daniels, Robbie E, Kidd Kash, Abyss, Crimson (the bad one), Eric Young and a cast of hundreds all from the comfort of a movie theatre seat. Screenvision has partnered with TNA and if you aren’t familiar with them it is due to the fact they are not Fathom Events to bring the event to movie theatres nationwide. So a second rate wrestling company hooked up with the number two movie event producers to bring us this goodness.

What a colossal waste of cash. UFC tried the 3D movie theatre experience to middling attention. If UFC cannot pull it off what makes anyone, anyone involved in TNA or Impact Wrestling think this is a logical idea to get the name brand out there? Can someone, anyone remove control of this company from this woman? If not someone needs to smack the bad ideas out of her loose-leaf notebook and mutter “Leave the decisions to the men toots” and carry on losing money without her input. See what I did there?

Really though why bother? TNA ratings have shown no real movement for years. There have been no sustainable gains in viewership nor an increase in PPV buys. So why bother? God damn why bother? This is a waste of time, money and talent. I guess that encompasses TNA perfectly actually. – Jeremy

#iMPACTWrestling – For The Hell of It

I know I’m way late on this review but whatever. Ha, forgot they had a pay per view. I haven’t checked for results either for this show or for the pay per view. I suppose I can rate their PPV pimping. They’re starting off with Bobby Roode vs Sting build up. Victory Road is the name of the PPV. James Storm thinks there’s not enough givers. He talks about Lockdown. Ugh, just like ROH, they’re doing their best to mix up the pay per views. Bully Ray tells Storm he’s fired up. Bully Ray reminds him of the correct PPV to promote. Storm isn’t going to make it to Victory Road because of Bully Ray. Gunner gets called out to take on Storm. Orlando knows something because they’re chanting “Gunner sucks”. Madison Rayne & Gail Kim are yelling at each other. They try to talk to Sting. Gail is going to take on Mickie James. Madison takes on Velvet Sky.

Roode is going to embarrass Sting at Victory Road. I’m power watching. No ring entrances. Velvet attacks Madison who tried to get an early jump on her. Madison wins with a pull of the tights. That makes no sense. She doesn’t look strong going into the PPV. Crimson & Matt Morgan are sort of arguing. Crimson is playing up his undefeated streak again. Morgan is mad but won’t say anything.

Crimson is taking on Samoa Joe. Their partners are at ring side. Last time this match happened, Joe got bitched. I’d imagine he’ll get more offense in this match. Joe is definitely doing it. Joe gets distracted by Morgan. Crimson spears Joe and gets the win. That type of a win for Joe & Magnus would have helped when they got their first crack at Crimson & Morgan.

Austin Aries gives us X Division champ stats so that he can inform us that he’s the longest reigning champ. Aries plays a high light reel of himself. I like his character but this isn’t doing much for me. He thanks his opponents for being good but not great. That’s better. Zema Ion spoils the party. I dig his look. Now if Ion would just get the tassles off his wrestling pants. Ion threatens to injure Aries. Ion tosses champagne in Aries face. Aries dumps the rest of the bottle on him. Solid build up.

Joseph Park says hi to Gunner. Parks can’t ask a question before Gunner bails for his match. We get replay of Eric Young & ODB getting engaged. They start planning the wedding. They need to contact Eric Nelson for planning tips. They’re getting married in the ring. I hope Nelson does too. Kurt Angle is worried about Garrett Bischoff. He loves swearing. They’re having a five minute match. Angle is going to match Victory Road Jeff Hardy’s last match. I seriously doubt it.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #ImpactWrestling

I'm a picky bastard sometimes.

I’m going to put this post in but then do the review later. I want everything to be in order of TV time but I want to play on Twitter while reviewing Smackdown. So, we get a placeholder. I’m a bit surprised the dogs are sleeping already. An early turn in for them. I’ll roll later. It’s time to roll, but I’ll be taking breaks to watch The Ultimate Fighter. Let’s roll. Officially.

Garrett Bischoff is cool because he drives a jeep with no top and wears aviator sunglasses. It is a really strange story and I have no idea why you start the show with it. Eric Bischoff & Gunner come out to Ric Flair‘s music. Eric gets to yap. I tune out. Kurt Angle is teaming with Gunner. Taz asks the dumbest question on the planet. Who is Garrett going to choose as a partner? Hmm, maybe the guy feuding with Angle. Angle yaps. I tune out. The crowd chants “Hardy”. See Taz, that’s how obvious it is. Sting makes me laugh by being in partial black face in front of the mirror. Even Eric Young looks at him strange. EY asks for his permission. I’m not sure what the hell is happening? Why did Sting forget EY’s name? What the fuck? Sting goes back to talking to the mirror. It kept my attention better than Eric or Kurt. Still didn’t make a lick of sense.

Eric Young & ODB got a title bout with Gail Kim & Madison Rayne. The Women’s Tag Titles are an unnecessary albatross. The dumb announcers didn’t listen to the crowd and wonder again who will team with Garrett. That’s as dumb as Josh & Booker not calling out Mitchell Cool on Smackdown. EY gets the hot tag. So Madison nails EY with the title belt and he falls on Kim for the victory. I hope this put the titles to sleep. EY offers ODB a ring and they go to commercial. That’s supposed to keep me hooked? Really? Really? Really?

The crowd is into it, chanting “Say yes”. ODB ends up putting the ring on EY. The comedy side of their act is good. The wrestling part is, um, woof. Joseph Park looks like a fat guy in a suit. Bully Ray tells Storm he’s not making it to Lockdown. He threatens Sting. Austin Aries reads his email from Sting. Looks like he had a Droid X. Nice choice. Aries wonders why they’re throwing away a money match on free TV. He’s going to take his talents to South Beach. Good stuff from both guys.

Zema Ion comes out to fight Austin Aries for the title. This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Aries is playing the face. He’s been doing too good of a job. OK, my cuts to The Ultimate Fighter are now over. I’m hoping this will move along now. Aries ends up using the hair spray on Ion to cause the DQ. That’s one way to get them to the PPV. They didn’t give much away. Still a really dumb idea. Joseph Park talks to Velvet Sky. He asks about Abyss because he’s his “brother”. Dear lord, it’s a Abyss cleaned up. Didn’t recognize that earlier. Getting him away from that character could help him. He’d need to improve in the ring still.

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