Maria Menounos has broken ribs. Pierced clit hopefully fine.

I totally missed this huge news today so all apologizes on the tardiness of this post. Maria Menounos, she of the pierced clit and delicious looking vagina, has two broken ribs. How this effects her WrestleMania match with her partner Kelly Kelly against Eve and Beth Phoenix has yet to be determined.  She suffered her injuries while practicing her routine for Dancing with the Stars. Really though with how skinny this woman is wouldn’t a stiff breeze or a squirt of Binaca accomplish the same thing? Also, I mention this only for the means to add a tag of Dancing with the Stars tag so we get extra hits; cause people really watch that garbage for some reason. -Jeremy

So Stacy Keibler is apparently dating George Clooney now

My eagle eyed eye in the sky from California sent me this article the other day, and since I will do anything to increase the number of hits to our site since I have no shame whatsoever when it comes to this stuff, I’mma present it the way it was sent to me, and oh look at the hotty boom body pictures:

George Clooney dating pro wrestler Stacy Keibler? Really?

Well, that didn’t take long.

George Clooney, who broke up with his Italian actress girlfriend of two years, Elisabetta Canalis, earlier this summer, was officially on the market for less than a month before former professional wrestler Stacy Keibler swooped down and staked her claim.

“It’s more than just a fling,” a pal of the 5’11” Keibler dishes to Us Weekly, adding that the lovebirds have known each other for “four to five years.” The pair enjoyed some quality time together at Clooney’s summer place in Lake Como, Italy in early July last month–and now, this past weekend at Clooney’s spread in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley.

Kiebler was photographed entering the gates of Clooney’s Studio City, CA compound on Sunday afternoon. As of Monday afternoon, Keibler had not been seen leaving the property.

The attraction between Clooney and Keibler seems to have been growing for a while. The pair met at an Oscar party in 2006 and became close after he admitted that he was a fan of her hoofing on “Dancing with the Stars.”

“It’s so funny,” Keibler told People at the time. “George Clooney came up to me, and he was like, ‘You’re so great. You should win.’ And I said, ‘You watch ‘Dancing with the Stars’?”

Keibler’s dance moves seem to have help her win Clooney’s heart. “They’re basically exclusive at this point,” says Keibler’s pal.

***

I personally do not care. I’m just like a crackhead here: I need more hits. More hits for this here website! In any event, my favorite Clooney role is, was and always will be Return of the Killer Tomatoes. My favorite Stacy moment was when she pointed out her legs go from here to there. That was very helpful of her. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 5/7/11

1. Chris Jericho- He was voted off of Dancing With The Stars and has been silent since. Can he please return to WWE and get in to his ready made feud with Randy Orton already? –Jeremy

2. Kharma- WWE has done a good job with her debut. She scared a double chin on to Kelly Kelly but let’s face it, Eric would still crawl through used hypodermic needles to , well, you get it. Now it seems Kharma is a pet project of Triple H so she should be in for a sustained push. -Jeremy

3. TNA- So they are changing the name off Impact to Impact Wrestling. Whatever; polishing a turd eventually wears it away and you are left with flecks. After watching Impact this week I am almost positive we are on the last rung of shit from this company. -Jeremy

4. WWE Studios– So this failed venture continues to lose money and there is no talk of getting rid of it. They lost money with The Chaperone which comes to the surprise of all die hard Triple H fans who bought it at Wal-Mart since Netflix won’t run  because “that dang ol puter don’t got the memories or sumptin.” –Jeremy

5. Gail KimIt was just announced on Tuesday that Kim and Chef Robert Irvine who hosts Dinner and Restaurant: Impossible on the Food Network are engaged and plan to get married in May of 2012. Congratulations to them. If they have children, I hope their son goes into wrestling so he can get a push. If they have a daughter, she can go into cooking so that she can be were women should be. -Kevin

6. Bischoff Family Brewing – Eric Bischoff finally does something I might like. Unfortunately, per their Facebook page, it doesn’t appear that I’ll be able to order any of their new laws because of state and federal laws unless I travel to Cody, Wyoming. I was looking forward to it because Bischoff did say he got help from Yellowstone Valley Brewing who won a Gold Medal at the Great American Beer Festival with their Black Widow (Oatmeal) Stout. -Kevin

7. Christian – He got to hold the title for a grand total of about 48 hours before he dropped the strap to Randy Orton at the Smackdown tapings. Evidently the majority of the “internet” is upset about this happening. It’s a good thing we’re not in the majority of the internet. I like the guy as much as anyone but he doesn’t exactly scream World Heavyweight Champion for all of the reasons my colleagues already notes. -Kevin

8. Yoshi Tatsu – I’ve started a new crusade to get more people on Twitter to follow us. Zach Ryder is the popular go to guy but Yoshi has stepped up his game by using his action figure and one of Jabba The Hut to come up with some creative pictures and amusing one liners. Join Twitter, follow us @StuntGranny and Yoshi @YoshiTatsuWWE so that we can all feel more important about ourselves than we should. -Kevin

9. Nick Gage – Read these words:

Nick Wilson, the former CZW star known as Nick Gage, was sentenced to five years in prison on 4/29 in connection with a robbery of the PNC Bank in Collingswood, NJ, on 12/22. Wilson, 30, handed a back teller a note saying he would shoot her unless she handed over cash to him, and he escaped with $3,090. When a shot of Wilson was released, wrestling fans recognized him which led to police finding out his identity and he turned himself in. Judge Samual Natal also ordered Wilson to make full restitution of the $3,090 as well as pay the bank teller $150, since she claimed she was traumatized by the robbery and quit her job. After police were informed of his identity by wrestling fans, Wilson turned himself in and pleaded guilty to the bank robbery.
 
How much does it suck to be that bank teller right now. Suffered trauma, lost her job, only got enough for a couple quarter pounders and a large fry for her trouble. Sad stuff right there. – Dusty
 
10. Shane Helms – He and his girl got into a motorcycle accident a while back. So let me get this straight. He is pro Matt Hardy and pro motorcycle, but anti Shawn Michaels? I’m struggling to find any redeeming value in this “person.” – Dusty
 
11. Christian – He is Simpsons Yellow and is suffering from male pattern baldness at the ripe old age of 37 (in a few years he’s going to be exactly Toby from the Office), and I’m supposed to be upset that he lost the Heavyweight Title? As Senator Clay Davis might say, sheeeeeeeit! – Dusty

Stone Cold Steve Austin Rickrolls our asses

Credit to user MattHarrak on the PWTorch.com VIP Forum: Stone Cold Steve Austin, who has truly adopted the Internet as a way to keep in touch with his huge fanbase, hopped in his time-traveling ATV, punched in a date near when he was filming “The Condemned,” and made a little video of himself lip-syncing “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley, the song famously used about 17 ba-million times on YouTube to “Rickroll” viewers. (Short definition, in case you’re younger than 5: “Rickrolling” is the act of making people think they’re seeing one type of video on YouTube, usually nudity, which isn’t allowed on that site, you idiots, and then splicing in Astley’s cheesy 1980s music video. Major laffos had everywhere.) Man, no wonder Austin’s been married three times, did you see those dance moves? That prick turned down “Dancing With the Stars” and cost us weeks of entertainment. I guess I’ll just watch that spin he does at the end over and over. -Eric

Video available of Chris Jericho on NBC “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”

Chris Jericho appeared on NBC’s “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” last night to promote his stint on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars.” Two things: One, Jay Leno is one of the unfunniest people on Planet Earth, so it took an act of God and a serious mountain climb for Jericho to make this worth watching. Two, my girlfriend thinks Chris Jericho is “handsome” and has a “booty on him.” Son of a bitch. -Eric

Chris Jericho cast for ABC “Dancing With the Stars”

 

These boots were made for dancing! Right? Right? Hello?

If you haven’t had enough Chris Jericho news lately (I’m looking squarely at you, Dusty, while you stand in line at the DMV), according to Prowrestling.net, Chris Jericho will be a cast member of the upcoming season of ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars.” This brings together two of my favorite things: Smart wrestlers who know to step out of the ring when they should and can still earn money doing other things, and Jeremy making fun of me whenever he’s on audios. -Eric

UPDATE: Jeremy played nice for a minute and alerted me to this: According to TMZ.com (the link to that article is the longest fucking URL ever), Kirstie Alley will also be on this season of “Dancing With the Stars.” Well, it looks like Jericho just got overshadowed! Rumor is Alley’s publicist told her the show was “Dancing With the Stars, Moons, Clovers, Diamonds and Purple Horseshoes”! I hope Tom Bergeron narrates her dances like “America’s Funniest Videos” when the fat grandma at the wedding falls down! They’re gonna have to re-name the show “Dancing on Stars”! As in, real celestial bodies, stars! Because she’s so big!

Chris Jericho may do “Dancing With the Stars”

"YEAAA-EE-AAAAAAAH!"

According to Prowrestling.net, Chris Jericho may be a cast member on the next season of ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars.” Here’s the USA Today report. In other news, kiss my ass, Jeremy. -Eric

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