Stunt Granny Presents: We Watch Stuff Podcast #5

There are no firm rules for this podcast so talking about wrestling is just something that will happen from time to time. But first Shahid and Jeremy talk about the opening weekend for Transformers: Age of Extinction. Did Shahid like it and if so how when nearly no one else did? Yeah a lot of people watched t but have you seen those review scores? Sheesh. Anyway, why did one studio call out Paramount as being huge liars? Is that reaction even warranted? What was the deal with Roddy Piper and Bad News Brown anyway? Who the hell though that was a good idea? How was the Money In The Bank match for our hosts? Who had the bump of the match? Was there anything shocking at all? Who was the MVP of the show? All of these questions are answered all you have to do is listen.

 

#ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

The_Persistence_of_Memory

The Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali

I went to bed last Thursday night without watching the end of Impact Wrestling. I had caught the beginning where MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley come out upset that Eric Young had evaded their attempts to take the TNA World Championship from him. MVP called out Eric Young who promptly threw down a challenge to MVP which was then accepted by the impetuous Kenny King due to MVP’s injury. Eric Young won in short order thanks to help from everyone in the back who is now anti-MVP. In the next segment, MVP set up a second match for the champion against Bobby Lashley. This is where I stopped watching. Much to my surprise when I saw headlines the next day, Bobby Lashley had been crowned new TNA World Champion. Here’s my break down of this epic ineptitude.

As noted in previous editions of this column, I try to start with a clean slate. When EY came out for his verbal beat down, the crowd in Bethlehem PA was very much behind him. I feel like the Orlando crowd was getting behind him too. I can accept that everyone doesn’t view him as a blatant rip off of Daniel Bryan so he’s worthy of being cheered. Even though many people, including myself, ripped the decision to give EY the belt, he is trending in the correct direction so you shouldn’t take the strap off of him. Having the heel faction in charge continue to put him behind the eight ball is Wrestling 101. I did think to myself “More copying of Daniel Bryan” but what other options are available for an unworthy, small wrestler? I can accept repeating that aspect of the angle by having EY take on both King and Lashley. After that point though, I start scratching my head.

I don’t get why you’d take the belt off of EY once you commit to the angle. If the wrestler in question were a big name, I may be able to accept it. I am assuming that MVP was going to be the recipient of the title had he not been injured. I’m also assuming they were going to have him win the strap at the Slammiversary. If that was the case, why not give Lashley the title at the PPV? Jeremy covered this on Stunt Granny Audio 260 when he said that it was carnie booking. If the advertised match doesn’t happen, the person who was advertised for the match has to win. I think that is a dumb theory. MVP isn’t a big enough name to get me to accept this angle though I would argue he’s a more recognizable name than Lashley. TNA doesn’t realize that Lashley isn’t a big enough name. Lashley may have been in the WWE but he was far from a big name there even if Donald Trump chose him as his combatant in a Wrestlemania match against Vince McMahon & Umaga. One would think that TNA would realize that if Hulk Hogan can’t move the needle, no retread from the WWE is going to do so.

Since I’m assuming MVP was going to win at Slammiversary, the next question is why chose Lashley instead of letting MVP heal? MVP is doing all of the talking for his faction. He is the more complete package as far as wrestling and mic work goes. It is terrible how he has been booked going from baby face to heel with a drop of a hat. I think MVP’s delivery and demeanor have come off well in the segments. If you believe MVP, his injury wasn’t major. Why not wait until he heels to move the strap over on the next PPV? You could feud Young with King and Lashley so that Young can finally get to MVP. You could build up EY while waiting for a better option as your future champion to recover.

Bobby Lashley has said next to nothing in the group. Kenny King has supplied the comedy for that group. I’m really glad TNA decided not to give him the belt. The reason Lashley hasn’t gotten the mic is that he is terrible on it. It’s been quite a few years now that being good on the mic is a required skill for a main eventer. Brock Lesnar may have a mouth piece in Paul Heyman, but he’s got a couple of things Lashley doesn’t. He isn’t terrible on the mic. Lashley may have won the NAIA Wrestling Championships but Lesnar trumps him by winning the NCAAs. Lashley may have been in MMA but Lesnar was the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Could Lashley tie most of us into a pretzel? Sure. Does he have a resume even close to that of Lesnar? No.

Another person that I could think to compare Lashley to is Roman Reigns. He was in The Shield. He was the guy who didn’t get any mic time in his group. Reigns still isn’t getting much mic time which I think is a good decision on the WWE’s part. But he and Lesnar both possess something that Lashley hasn’t even had, good in ring skills. Lashley may have a laundry list of accomplishments, but it hasn’t translated to the ring for reasons that are unknown to me. Lashley is a big guy but not a monster like Lesnar. Lashley (6′-3″, 275) is about the same size as Roman Reigns (6′-3″, 265) but he doesn’t possess his athleticism. Lashley isn’t going to pull off an apron drop kick any time soon. Lashley has neither the mic or in ring skills to be a champion.

Another reason I could think of to take the strap off of Young is that he needs to go film his show “No Limits” for Animal Planet. In that case, TNA shouldn’t have committed to giving him the title in the first place. EY isn’t taking off time though. He was on Fox & Friends to hype both his show and TNA. I’m just throwing this out there, but maybe if he’s the guy getting TV time, EY should be the one toting the strap. After EY is the pitch man, Lashley comes in an awkwardly stares at him to end the segment. The reason Young is out there is that he has been at a minimum good on the mic or else he wouldn’t have stuck around as a comedy act or been recruited to be a TV host.

The timing of these title changes is a whole separate problem from worthiness of who has the strap. TNA has now gone two consecutive pay per views, keep in mind that they only have four, without a Heavyweight Title change. But to keep you on your toes, they decided to have EY win the strap the show prior to one while Lashley won the show after one. Anyone that shucked out money for either of those has to feel like an idiot or at a minimum like they didn’t get their money’s worth. It is a no win position to try and defend how their decisions not to have the pay offs on PPV.

Giving the TNA World Title to Eric Young was a mistake. Having MVP win it Slammiversary would have been a mistake too. Allowing Bobby Lashley to win the title on a regular televised show is the biggest mistake of the three. Congratulations TNA, you have allowed Ring of Honor to become the second best promotion in America. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #258

Malkin-meets-Putin-thumb

Vladimir Putin is not impressed by Evgeni Malkin. From penguins.nhl.com.

We’re back with an audio show about wrestling. How about that? Who is we though? Well, it’s Kevin and Shahid after a few technical difficulties. The list of topics was so simple that they kept on running into each other. They started off with the easiest topic, Daniel Bryan being stripped of the WWE Title. Who does the WWE give the title to? John Cena? Randy Orton? After those two, the WWE roster gets pretty thin at the top since CM Punk left and Daniel Bryan out due to injury. Would the WWE bring in Brock Lesnar to be champion? Why is Paul Heyman still touting him at every turn if he doesn’t come back for a shot he said he wanted before Wrestlemania? How awkward would it be if they decided to give the strap to Heyman’s other client, Cesaro? Would any of the young guys like Cesaro be considered? The WWE is giving us plenty of Rusev, so does he have a chance? Will Lana ever order him to “Crush” someone other than black gentlemen and Zack Ryder on the roster? Would the WWE give the title to Seth Rollins?  Speaking of Rollins, how good was his promo? How about Dean Ambrose? Last but not least, Roman Reigns? Or is he least? Would Ronda Rousey fit in with the Shield? Does the WWE give Ambrose & Reigns a third person or will they split up after this feud concludes? Because this is the first wrestling show in a while, Kevin & Shahid don’t conclude until they’ve answered all of these questions and more. Click on the link below to figure out those answers!

Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #WWE #Payback

payback grandmaSheamus comes out first even though he is defending the US Title. Paul Heyman comes out and quells the CM Punk chants. He then introduces Cesaro. JBL has it right that the WWE is happy about the early slugfest between the two. We get 10 Beats early in the match. Sheamus goes in for seconds. Cesaro nails an European Uppercut when Sheamus goes for a sling shot shoulder block. CEsaro only gets a two count when he suplexes Sheamus back into the ring. Double stomp from the ground by Cesaro. Irish Curse back breaker only gets Sheamus a two count. Sheamus drops a knee from the middle rope. He hits it three times. An uppercut turns things around for Cesaro. He hits the Super Uppercut. Tilt-a-whirl slam by Sheamus continues the back and forth. White Noise only gets a two count. Blackhawks score early. Chicago could be rocking tonight. Sheamus locks in the Cloverleaf as Pedro Alvarez drives two in for the Pirates. Cesaro Swing for the first time in a while. Cesaro takes time after the swing. Sheamus rolls him up for the win. It protects Cesaro a little bit but I still feel like they should have given him a win. I would have been really happy with both of them having easy wins at Payback then start a feud. It doesn’t help that roll ups are always weak especially after a smash mouth match.

For some reason, we have a Rybaxel vs Cody Rhodes & Goldust. They only had three matches planned for Payback so it’s going to be a guessing game the whole time. Axel gives Goldust a running knee that gets a two count early. Ryback comes in and out with him to continue the beating. Axel tries to keep Goldust from tagging but can’t do it. Rhodes gets Ryback reeling. Rhodes with a pair of drop kicks on Rybaxel. Cody goes for the Disaster Kick but gets tossed into Goldust. Cross Rhodes is nailed on Ryback but Axel makes the save. Rhodes goes for another Disaster Kick. Ryback catches him in Shellshock for the win. Cody tells Goldust that he needs a better tag team partner than himself. I wasn’t expecting anything that simple.

Lana comes out to introduce Alexander Rusev. Just in case you didn’t know who to root for, Big E Langston has gone to wearing red, white & blue tights. I wonder if these two had a lengthy feud in NXT and the WWE is hoping moving the feud to the main roster will spark both of them. Langston spears Rusev off the apron. A leg lariat slows down Big E. The Accolade for the win. Or maybe we’re going to see the demise of Big E.

It looked like Kofi Kingston was going to Bo-Lieve but Kane comes down to the ring. Kane attacks Kofi. He ends proceedings with a Tomb Stone. Nice of them to get us to the nine o’clock hour. All Kofi has to do to come back is Bo-Lieve. What a douche. Ha. No one cares that Hornswoggle got his hair cut.

RVD comes out to challenge for the Intercontinental Title against Bad News Barrett. I don’t care about this match. RVD should do the job in this match. A slow moving swinging neck breaker for Barrett only gets a one count. RVD drop kicked Barrett who was on the outside. RVD tossed Barrett into the barricade. RVD nails the cork screw leg drop from the apron. Barrett kicks RVD in the stomach after tossing him into the air. RVD turns it back around with the round house heel kick to the face. RVD misses the Frog Splash. Winds of Change side slam only gets Barrett two. Barrett hits the post with the elbow. RVD takes advantage with a DDT but still can’t get the three. Barrett nails the Bull Hammer Elbow for the win.

Continue reading

#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode – 6 – She Said (He Edited)

flirting-noOh, the joys of Total Diva’s. There is a reason that I continue to take a hiatus from this train wreck and it’s not because I was on vacation, it’s mainly because I just don’t have the time to try and think of something to write every week when this train wreck is watched. I feel like it goes through spurts of good television (as good as a Diva show could be) and spurts of horrific television (where everything is set up so they can actually have a show for people to watch). I obviously missed writing about Ariane house sitting for Natalia and losing her cat during a party. I honestly couldn’t tell you what else happened within that episode, it was so boring. (Kevin’s Edit: She suggested a He Said (She Edited) but I remember about as much of that episode as she does.)

The 5/4 episode is the one I’ll be writing about today. It’s all about Summer Rae,  Trinity and Brie. I’ll start with Trinity as she seemed to have the least amount in the show even though she was focused on.

Trinity and Jon are married. Jon is ready for kids and Trinity is at the height of her career and does not want kids. This is obviously something to discuss before you tie the knot. We find out that Jon has 2 kids already, a boy and girl. They are adorable! Anyway, Trinity always forgets to take her pill and Jon refuses to put on a “love sleeve” as he says he doesn’t have time and it’s too constricting. Trinity decides, well, I keep forgetting and I don’t want kids now, so she and her mom go and have an implant put into her arm. It’s a 3 year birth control implant so she won’t get pregnant. I’m not sure if this is truly the best way to handle this as she doesn’t tell Jon what she does. She says it’s her body and she can do what she wants. As I haven’t read up on this procedure and the pros and cons, if it works for her and she doesn’t get pregnant, good for her. But if she has always been that forgetful and he has never worn a love sleeve and they have been together this long already, I’m not sure why she really did do this. All birth control is not 100%. those love sleeves are important even when a girl is on the pill. So I wish them the best of luck and maybe next time she won’t hide a procedure from her husband. (Kevin’s Edit: She’s being a bone head. He’s being a bone head. If anyone would know about taking a while to get to the top, I’d think it’d be Jon since it’s taken him 5 years to get consistent TV time. Granted, Trinity hasn’t been getting much TV time since she decided to stop Aksana’s knee with her face.  When this was recorded, she was being pushed for the Diva’s Title. I do love that WWE policy, if someone else messes up, you get punished. See Ziggler, Dolph.)

Brie is in the process of planning her wedding. She is so excited and we get to see her try on wedding dresses. The dress she picks is very pretty and elegant and I would expect nothing less from Brie. Nikki, though, decides to arrive fashionably late, after Brie finds her dress. The entire episode is about Nikki being a bitch to Brie as Brie is trying to plan her wedding. Nikki wants nothing to do with anything. She gets upset with Brie at the gym when they are working out because Brie is asking about seating arrangements and bridesmaid dresses. (Kevin’s Edit: I’d be pissed if someone talked to me that much in the gym too. It doesn’t even need to be about wedding stuff. John Cena, like normal, makes the best out of his screen time cracking a joke that I’d love for him to use on TV instead of another poop joke.) Nikki gets pissed with Brie when Brie says ‘no’ to a skanky dress that Nikki wants to wear in her wedding and Nikki refuses to help Brie with wedding invitations as she has had a busy week and just doesn’t have time. (Kevin’s Edit: Nikki was wrong the rest of the time including the slutty (and yummy) dress.)

I agree with Brie, Nikki is being a bitch. It doesn’t matter if the guy you are dating is never going to propose to you. It doesn’t matter if you’re not going to get married, ever. What does matter is it’s the Bride’s day, your twin sister’s day. A marriage that will only happen one time  (Kevin’s Edit: Hahhaha. It only happens once is hilarious.) and you should be ecstatic for your sister and be helping her every step of the way and not making her feel like she shouldn’t be asking for help. I agreed with Brie in that, it is her day and Nikki had no right to act that way. Nikki chose to be in the relationship that she is in and that’s her problem if she is OK with not being married. You don’t rain on other peoples weddings, you suck it up and be the best sister you can be. Even the apology was stupid. (Kevin’s Edit: The stupid apology on both’s behalf is what makes me think it’s a made up plot. No real anger either way but it’s a way to conclude the storyline.)

Our final Diva is Summer Rae. We all know how much I can’t stand her. She is a nasally, skanky hoe. We definitely see that in this episode. Summer Rae enters and we find out that she is single (go figure) and that her boyfriend of 2 years that broke up with her is getting married. She states that all the boyfriends she’s had recently are all married now, or engaged to be married, so they always marry the girl after her. Huh, do you think it’s your attitude that shows through and how desperate you are! Summer Rae tells the girls at lunch and the girls suggest she ask Fandango out as they have good chemistry on the set. (Kevin’s Edit: I have never hooked up with any ladies I worked with. I really should have at Panini’s in Kent.) Brie brings up that that is how her and Daniel met. We see a fabulous 2010 scene where Brie is talking to Daniel and Nikki walks in. (Kevin’s Edit: Fabulous? I had forgotten about that angle. Pretty sure I was annoyed he was teamed with them.) I’m just going to throw this in there, but it’s usually not a good idea to date someone from work as there is a 50/50 chance of it working or imploding.

Summer Rae decides to ask Fandango out. Well, that is great as they are both non attractive people that are extremely vain. They would be perfect for each other. They just happen to live very close to each other in Florida. She dresses skanky and he dresses like a bum and they go to a bar he frequents a lot. (Kevin’s Edit: Always a good way to say you’re trying to get some. Let’s get her drunk!) The whole night she keeps asking him personal questions and he’s like, why do you keep asking me all these questions? Summer Rae just laughs like she is trying too hard and then they proceed to do firebombs. My favorite line is when she says, I can’t decide if he is making fun of me or complimenting me. If you can’t tell, then you are blond! They go back to his place where they are strategically placed in the kitchen and pretending to be into each other. Shots of vodka, they go to the sofa where she proceeds to attack him. Not sure who cuts it off first, but they make it seem like it was her idea and he just sits there stupefied. She says she doesn’t feel the connection and it was like kissing her brother. (Kevin’s Edit: If you weren’t feeling him, why did you jump on top so quick? Storyline alert! The problem is this would work much better as a supplement to Raw/Smackdown but the viewing of this taped show is delayed so they don’t connect well.)

So Summer Rae just leaves. Yes, she just walks out! It was a very awkward moment I thought. They are seen at their next show and Fandango is asking about her about what happened and she just blows him off telling him they don’t have any chemistry and that she doesn’t want anyone to know what happened. Fandango, even though I really don’t like you, you can definitely do soooo much better than Summer Rae.

Will Summer Rae continue to be single? What’s next for Ariane and Vinnie? Will Nikki and Brie act normal toward each other in the next episode like nothing happened. Only E! Entertainment knows and I’ll be finding out next time on the 5/11 episode of Total Diva’s. – M & (Kevin)

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

destructoid.com

destructoid.com

I’ve thought about a couple of introductions and scrapped both of them. One will become a column. The other will remain on the scrap heap. So, let’s roll.

Bray Wyatt greets us during the Raw introduction with another rendition with “I’ve Got The Whole World..” I do dig his choice of Hawaiian shirts. After singing with him, the crowd starts “What?”ing him. Have they finally found John Cena’s equal in being able to split a crowd? Then after talking about his teacher lady more, they start singing again. Wyatt is evil. Necessary at that. He calls Cena a phony. Now a “Cena sucks” chant. Hold on, are they in Chicago again? I have a good picture set up for Stunt Granny. John Cena pulls some misdirection music and attacks Wyatt who was by himself after Luke Harper & Erick Rowan ran for the ramp. He AAs Wyatt and leaves the ring before they can attack. I’d love to know why they keep replaying Steph & Brie. It’s terrible acting.

Paul Heyman ends up insulting the crowd then patting himself on the back when defining what the crowd & stars roles are. Awesome. Oh, they’re in England. If there are spoilers out, I didn’t read them. He announcers a match between Cesaro and Sheamus for the US Title later in the night which ends up being right now. I wish this match had more build up. Does it make sense that they could be building up the US Title too quickly? Whatever, I’ll take this match. I have enjoyed their past slugfests. The match picks up after the break. Sheamus gets in the Irish Curse Back Breaker & Rolling Hills. He can only get two. Cesaro turns it around by tossing Sheamus into the corner face first. Sheamus gets caught with an uppercut as he jumped off the top. Sheamus power slams Cesaro. Heyman distracts Sheamus. Cesaro takes advantage and wins with a German Suplex. Nice. I like Heyman playing more of a role in Cesaro’s matches. Lesnar & CM Punk were well established and he enhanced them. Cesaro dodges the hand shake. Nice. I’m not sure Sheamus goes into Evolution if he’s going to feud with Cesaro.

Big E Langston is taking on Ryback in the first of a series of Beat The Clock Challenge for a shot at Bad News Barrett for the Intercontinental Title. I hate these challenges because the matches are inevitably short. Ryback is distracted by the clock. It’d be much better just to attack the person. You’re wasting time by looking at the clock especially in the first match. You’re setting the standard. It matters when the clock counts down after wards. Big E takes the Meat Hook Clothesline but kicks out three consecutive time. Big E gets tossed too far but pops up quickly. Big Ending at 5:02. Great, matches shorter than 5:02. My favorite kind. It reminds me of the Daniel Bryan interview with Chris Jericho. They both said that no matter how hard they worked, they were never satisfied with a three minute match. It wasn’t enough time to make it quality.

Why isn't this one on Total Divas?

Why isn’t this one on Total Divas? from 2009abc.deviantart.com

R Truth has the Funkadactyls. The English love Fandango and Layla El. Before the match starts, Summer Rae comes to the ring. She kisses Fandango and attacks Layla. So is that Summer’s music? Is she a baby face now? Truth, Cameron & Naomi become window dressing.

Stephanie comes out to Daniel Bryan’s music. Ha. She is at her mocking best. Stephanie is ready to say “Bad News” when they introduce Wade Barrett. Oh no, she just uses a video prop. She’s only contemplating stripping Bryan of the title. She then gives ideas for who should be champion. The crowd plays along with her games. She then demands he be at Raw next week. Where I expect him to say he can defend the title at the PPV.

The Union Jacks comes out. Nice of them to remember this gimmick. Heath Slater gets mic time for the first time in a long time. Lana comes out hoping not to laugh at herself again. Alexander Rusev shows up. He takes out Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre then Jinder Mahal. It appears as if Slater will have a match with him. The whole “Crush” thing is stupid. The Accolade. Great a short match even when there’s no clock to worry about. The Shield is in the back in some odd room as usual. Dean Ambrose thinks Evolution is scared of them and he doesn’t want that. He wants their best shot. Roman Reigns tells them they’re going to keep coming at Evolution. Seth Rollins admits to a mistake in his last match with Batista. He’s going to correct that mistake. Believe In The Shield.

RVD takes on Alberto Del Rio, who gets a terrible in set promo. He’s some smug crazy person now. JBL only plays up the angle more. Congrats, ADR, you have a gimmick again. RVD takes a Back Cracker with 2:30 to go. Del Rio wastes time and gets clocked. RVD misses the Frog Splash. 1:30 left. Del Rio rests entirely too much time. Van Dam rolls him up for the win with 47 seconds left. Great, matches shorter than 4:15. The announcers have to act excited about this development.

Renee Young interviews John Cena. He’s bringing the Usos with him again. I can handle this rub especially if we get an Usos vs Harper & Rowan match at Payback in two weeks. They do some silly heart pounding thing. HHH talks their group up. Randy Orton tries to continue it. Batista is going to do it all by himself. Let this not be a short match in this sea of short matches.

Seth Rollins comes to the ring. HHH makes himself an announcer and Randy Orton as the time keeper. He then introduces Batista. Mitchell Cool correctly questions JBL’s opinion. Rollins has a microphone for some reason. Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns come down as guest commentators. This just became stupid. Ambrose informs us that Brad Maddox made them official commentators. Why did Ambrose take us to break? Why am I laughing about it? Rollins barely touches the steps he’s supposed to crash into. He’s no John Cena who shoulder blocks those things into the ring barrier. Batista starts the ground and pound on Rollins back in the ring. I know why I laughed earlier now, because Ambrose is killing me. “Reigns’ momma hit him harder than that” about the nine stitches. Rollins fights off the superplex. Rollins nails a Block Buster. Rollins runs into a boot. Rollins drop kicks Batista thru the ropes. Suicide Dive by Rollins. “He didn’t do anything” after Orton at least attempted to grab Rollins leg. Order is restored. Rollins nails a spring board knee for a two count. The Game pushes Rollins off the top rope. Orton and Ambrose join the fun. HHH clocks Rollins which gets the DQ. Batista is the brunt of another spear. HHH distracts the Shield, Batista slips out. Why is Evolution the underdog after losing again? They need to out smart the Shield and soon to seem credible.

James Van Der Beek from TheAtlantic.com

James Van Der Beek from TheAtlantic.com

Alicia Fox is in the ring. Paige is her opponent. The crowd politely applauds. I go to get a beer, Sun King Brewing Fistful of Hops, which I picked up on an unexpected trip thru Indianapolis. My trip should really make it to air or print. Complete ridiculousness. Paige gets to learn about WWE policy mandating that you job in your home town. Alicia Fox wins. Luke Harper compares John Cena to a mouse. Bray Wyatt thinks Cena & the Usos are like dominoes in a mine. They all fall down.

Mark Henry is taking on Dolph Ziggler, who wants to show off quickly. Henry comes into the inset promo and laughs at him. If my boy wins this match under the time limit, I’d feel really bad for Mark Henry. That’s another thing about these beat the clock matches, the formula is predictable. It is usually longest match, shorter match, time limit match (this one) and winner of the challenge. Ziggler is recovering with 1:30 to go. A second drop kick takes way too much of a toll on Ziggler. Henry catches Ziggler and power slams him. Henry wastes time. Zig Zag but time runs out. Thanks for sticking to the formula and not making me look like an ass. It’s only three matches? Bad News Barrett lays out a celebrating RVD. The crowd is much more behind Barrett. He informs us that England sets the time for the entire world. I guess I’ll have to look up Bloody Yak like everyone else that isn’t English. (Next Day Note: It usually has penis attached to it according to the Urban Dictionary. I didn’t get amusement out of finding the answer.)

Adam Rose comes out with more action than Paige, less than Barrett. Renee Young interviews him. Sort of. She asks to know what a “Rose Bud” is. We’re not to be lemons. JBL cracks me up with Bunny hate. Rose just wants Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger to have some fun. The crowd cheers for them too. The Bigg Hoss still cracks me up. Colter tries to insult them but they keep up being Rose Buds. Zeb challenges Rose. Swagger sucker punches him. Swagger goes after someone in the Exotic Express. Adam Rose gets the jump on him. Colter & Swagger beat a hasty retreat.

I blow through the ring entrances for John Cena & Luke Harper. Just short of catching up. They cut to commercial early which I agree with. I can skip first gear. Cena takes too much time on the Shuffle. Harper misses a Mafia Kick then a clothes line. Cena gets in the Five Knuckle.  Harper gives him a tilt a whirl face plant. This back and forth is too quick for my liking. Harper takes over and finishes it off with a suicide dive. Harper nails a super kick but Cena kicks out at two. Neck breaker by Harper only gets another two. Cena nails a clothes line. STF gets locked in. Harper breaks it. The Usos stop interference by Erick Rowan. Wyatt Abigails the Usos in the ring. Attitude Adjustment on Harper. Rowan blasts Cena for the DQ. Sister Abigail to Cena. The crowd plays sing along. Harper & Rowan attack Cena. Fall away slam onto the ramp. Sister Abigail on the stage. Cena loses a shoe. Sing along time, because we haven’t had enough of it. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live’ Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

From Street Fighter the movie.

From Street Fighter the movie.

So I had to laugh that the first pay per view I could have watched on the WWE Network, last night’s Extreme Rules, ended up being a side show that I couldn’t do a post on because the Pittsburgh Penguins were playing the New York Rangers. Of course I’d have something else to watch when this PPV was on. I did keep an eye on the final four matches while watching the game but that didn’t give me a good feel for them. Since the Network has the ability to watch said PPV as soon as it is over, I did just that last night, this morning and at lunch to play catch up. Now I’ve got to play catch up on Raw with another game on tap tonight. Let’s see how far I can get before the 3rd period starts.

Dean Ambrose has to win a 20 Man Battle Royal to retain his US Title. Of course, JBL agrees (Next Day Note: I had ends in there. Wow. Brutal error.) this dumb decision. Jerry Lawler makes it worse by agreeing with JBL on battle royals being exciting. They’re not until there are 4 people left which is essentially a tag team match. Mitchell Cool is busying driving home the point that The Authority set up this match to weigh in. Three times in the opening three minutes isn’t quite enough because our attention spans are a maximum of sixty seconds. Big Show spanked Heath Slater who acted like Show got some taint. A segment. No surprise. Back after the game goes to overtime or is over. My boy Dolph Ziggler gets eliminated by Cobra. Yuck. Ryback, Curtis Axel, Sheamus, Jack Swagger & Dean Ambrose are alive. Axel gets back dropped out of the ring by Ambrose. It was silly that Ambrose won the slugfest with Ryback (on the ring apron). Good low drop kick to eliminate him though. Ambrose wiggles out of being tossed to eliminate Swagger. Sheamus nails Ambrose with a Brogue Kick. Sheamus tosses him to win the US Title. Not even Sheamus can bring prestige back to that belt without consistent defenses and being featured. HHH comes out after Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns try to calm Ambrose down. He announces a match between the Shield vs the Wyatt Family. How many times can we go to this well? I’m sure I’ll enjoy the match though.

Renee Young gets to interview Sheamus. He admitted that things haven’t gone as he’d have liked since returning from injury. He tells Dean Ambrose to have no hard feelings. (Next Day Note: Not exactly getting a warm & fuzzy feeling about the US Title from that short promo.) Brie & Daniel Bryan are interrupted by Stephanie McMahon. She warns them to stay put until their matches tonight. A Kane mask is on the back side of the door. Ominous!

RVD comes out for a singles match with Cesaro. The later is preceded by Paul Heyman. Rolling Thunder connects early so that Cesaro can get advice from Heyman. Good ploy on their part. Finishing off my Seventh Son Lost Sparrow Black IPA as a victory Sippy Time Beer. Pens 2-0. RVD keeps the offense going. A sling shot leg drop only gets a two count. I really hope this CM Punk chants stops. (Next Day Note: I heard it at least 2 more times last night. Chicago will not be any better next week.) Cesaro takes over by clothes lining RVD over the top rope. RVD leaped into an upper cut. Running, jumping upper cut in the corner by Cesaro. His triple gut wrench suplexes only get a two count. RVD  gets caught trying to monkey flip. RVD gets caught in the turn buckles. RVD got his foot out then put it back in. Cesaro gets DQed by going over board on RVD. Van Dam looks “clueless” as the medical staff tries to help him. (Next Day Note: I was thinking this feud had more potential for Cesaro than Jack Swagger. You can’t take back that triple threat match especially since it was elimination style. They could have planted the seeds last week then started on this feud. The problem with my idea is that RVD doesn’t get PPV money then.)

The Wyatt Family is in Albany. I will take this time right now to address anyone who thought that child last night with the voice alteration machine was creepy as fuck, I will be sure not to seek your opinion on scary movies. I would imagine that you never read our Walking Dead reviews because that be too much for you. (Next Day Note: Here is such an article. He claims to like slasher flicks. I call Bravo Sierra and revoke your man card.) John Cena should have kicked that kid right in the mush and walked out of the cage. Wyatt looks to be continuing this feud with Cena. Wyatt says that he is doing this for the children, a bunch or random groups and then the crowd. They boo which still makes me wonder why people sing along with him. Bray Wyatt is a god. Of course they sing. Why? I just heard you boo him. Boo him singing. He does it poorly enough to be booed. Though I think that’s part of the act so I don’t have a problem with it. (Next Day Note: Cena beat three men and lost to a little child. What else is there to explore in this feud?)

Cody Rhodes comes down with Goldust. Ryback was already in the ring with Curtis Axel. Cody is taking on Ryback in singles action. Ryback uses his power early. The announcers talk about the Rhodes Family slump. Ryback with a delayed suplex. JBL makes a good joke about Wyatt calling himself a god. (Next Day Note: I believe it was after Cool acted indignant that Bray Wyatt would do that. JBL’s response was “I don’t know anyone else who’d do that.” Why neither Cool or Lawler laughed is beyond me.) A Disaster Kick by Cody gets me into the match. Cody goes to the top rope. Goldust tries to stop Curtis Axel from interfering. Goldust gets pushed into the post which wobbles Rhodes. Ryback Shell Shocks Rhodes for the win. Daniel Bryan and Brie are in the room when the lights go out. They flee and run into Stephanie, who will bring their car around. How about firing Kane and not allowing him in the building if you can’t control him? Wouldn’t that be best for business?

Los Matadores & El Torito get to throw a Cinco De Mayo. They toss candy into the crowd. 3MB save us? They offer peace so that they don’t wreck their party. Everyone fights. No one is entertained. (Next Day Note: There’s a reason I didn’t highlight anyone in this segment.)

From Dailiywrestlingnews.com

From Dailiywrestlingnews.com

Alexander Rusev gets to beat Kofi Kingston. The amount of pictures Lana took before coming the WWE reminds me of the good old days when you could find soft porn pictures of almost all of the Divas. Kofi gets the feet up to stay in it. A cross body barely gets a one count. Kingston nails the fulcrum kick. Rusev “crushes” Kofi. Rusev gets Kofi to tap out to the Accolade. Daniel Bryan is paranoid as they get into a car. Stephanie has a heavy hand. (Next Day Note: I swear one of the writers watches Archer because they make fun of Lana Kane for having man hands all of the time.) She then tells them to wrestle their matches. Um, why did you offer to get their car then? (Next Day Edit: Why not have Stephanie tell them she’d get the car pulled around then not have it where it was supposed to be? Steph could say the valet screwed up and deny the trouble Kane has caused again.)

Alberto Del Rio gets to job to Daniel Bryan even though he’s sure to get distracted this match. Del Rio gets the early push. Bryan turns up the heat. A back cracker gets things turned around for Del Rio. He tosses Bryan against the barricade. As I watch this match, I can’t get a tweet from Mick Foley out of my head about this angle. He compared the angle with Kane & Bryan to the Kane & Zack Ryder skits. Del Rio softens up the arm with a four count arm pull. Bryan works over the knee. Del Rio drops Bryan on the barricade. Bryan with a  drop toe hold that lands Del Rio’s face into a turn buckle. Del Rio shoulders Bryan in the corner. He lays into Bryan with a clothes line. Bryan fights Del Rio off the top rope. Flying Goat head butt only gets two. Drop kicks in the corner by Bryan. Suicide dive by Bryan. Del Rio enziguris Bryan off the top rope. Del Rio takes too long going for the cross arm breaker. Bryan puts on the Yes Lock for the tap out win. Bryan & Brie run back stage. They get into the car but it won’t start. So you pop the hood first? Kane is in the back seat. Kane ends up on the hood of the car. Bryan drives a short distance away then checks on Kane who entirely too straight to fool anyone except Bryan. Bryan & Brie still drive away unharmed. I have no idea what Mick Foley is talking about. (Next Day Note: It also drove me nuts that Bryan has been shown as an environmentalist on Total Divas but they decided to give him a Lincoln Continental for some reason.)

Big E Langston is taking on Bad News Barrett again. The Intercontinental Title is somehow being defended on Raw. Big E is on the offense early. After Big E beats him up outside the ring, he tosses him back in. Big E shoulder blocks a steel post when Barrett dodges. Big E barely beats a ten count. The crowd is sitting on their hands. They finally break after I anticipate it during the count. Barrett misses a high kick. Big E turns it around. Barrett gets the knees up on the splash. Big E gets kneed trying for a running shoulder block. Big E runs into Barrett. Big E spears Barrett through the ropes. A pair of over head suplexes by Big E. Barrett rakes the eyes. Barrett nails the Bull Hammer Elbow for the win. I still have some hope for Big E after that match. Not a complete burial. (Next Day Edit: I can’t wait for Barrett to get the same de-push Big E got after winning the title.)

From crazy-einstein.com Exotic roses didn't look as cool.

From crazy-einstein.com Exotic roses didn’t look as cool.

Zeb Colter comes out with Jack Swagger who is wearing a Bigg Hoss zip up sweater. He debuts the deportation list. Adam Rose shows up with his Exotic Express. He stages falls into them. They carry him around the ring. Rose dances around them. He wants Zeb to be a Rose Bud. Does this ridiculousness happen every time this guy comes out? It’ll get obnoxious but it’s a good introduction.

The Shield taking on the Wyatt Family is the main event. All three fight to start but Erick Rowan & Dean Ambrose end up starting the match. Luke Harper ended up pairing off with Seth Rollins. Roman Reigns comes in to share in the beat down. Rollins ends up back in the ring to sell for the Wyatts. It would make sense for the Shield to favor Rollins & Reigns. They try to push Main Event for John Cena’s response to the Wyatts. I won’t watch. Ambrose gets the hot tag against Rowan. Ambrose nails the middle rope sling shot clothes line. The teams face off three on three. Ambrose & Harper are in the ring. Ambrose ends up taking more of a beating because we can’t have Reigns sell yet. Rollins nails the senton over the top rope. Rollins hits a combo in the corner. Standing shooting star press. Rollins gets pushed off the top ropes. What a ballsy move. Looked pretty safe. Harper nails a suicide dive. Bray Wyatt charges into Rollins in a corner. Ambrose gets tossed into the announce table. Rollins gets Harper off the top ropes. Rollins gets to hot tag Reigns. He gets to take out Wyatt first. Reigns shouldn’t jump to clothes line. It looks better than Kofi’s but it’s still stupid and unnecessary. Everyone brawls in the ring. Ambrose & Rollins take out Harper & Rowan. Superman Punch by Reigns. Evolution comes out. Ambrose & Rollins nail another pair of suicide dives. Superman punch on HHH. Wyatt takes advantage and cross bodies Reigns in the stomach. Sister Abigail’s Kiss for the win. Evolution attacks the Shield. Lawler busts out the battle/war analogy. (Next Day Note: So why didn’t Evolution win with some under handed tactics at Extreme Rules if this feud is going to continue?). – Kevin

#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 4

hawaii-beach-homesoahu

The April 20th episode was definitely an episode I didn’t think I’d witness. I actually felt like it was a bit more heartwarming than any other episode that they have filmed, though, it could be because Summer Rae wasn’t in the show at all which totally helps and there wasn’t any drama at all. Granted, there were still some completely ridiculous scenes which involved Nattie and TJ, but other than that, I actually felt for the first time the Diva’s really are normal people with everyday issues, in which you can semi-relate to on a woman’s level, so I’m sure any guy watching the episode was like, this was a stupid chick show since there wasn’t much boobs and skankiness showing up. (Kevin’s Edit: Just imagine me moving my head up and down.)

We’ll begin with Nattie and TJ as it’s the most ridiculous part of the show. So Ariane and Nikki find out that Nattie doesn’t know what Doggie Style is. Nattie get’s pretty flustered at trying to get around it but in the end, Ariane calls her sex therapist to see if she can help for Nattie and TJ. (Kevin’s Edit: I had forgotten about Ariane’s repression since she’s been hard to find this season outside of the Eva Marie pics.) Nattie says she is to busy to go see her, so she comes to their house. Upon questions about their sex life, she asks how they first got together, Nattie doesn’t seem to remember but TJ remembers the moments, really? (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t remember when I first said “I love you” to the lady. No way he remembers that.) So the sex therapist says they need to ‘sex up’ the house. She tells them different role playing to do in the different areas of the house and awkwardly suggests they leave the front door open to have sex in their entry way. (Kevin’s Edit: I suggested it in more open places.) Nattie of course declines this idea. Nattie does think this could work as Ariane and Vincent do seem to be happier since seeing the therapist. So, as we get to see in the ‘black and white footage’, Nattie has TJ be a burglar and Nattie dresses as a skanky school girl and she has TJ break into the house through an open window. I laughed out loud at this one, good gravy!(Kevin’s Edit: It was killing me she used an old outfit from a WWE shoot.)

Eva Marie hasn’t been feeling well. I feel like this story line pops up when they aren’t sure what to put into the show. Well, this time, Eva Marie’s husband, insert name I forget here (Kevin’s Edit: You think I remember this tool bag’s name?), rushes her to the hospital as she says her stomach is huge and she looks about 6 months pregnant and is peeing blood. I have to say, that is not a good sign. The doctor says she has a cyst that ruptured. I am going to wonder about this as I’ve had numerous cysts and they rupture when you have your period, they don’t normally make you pee blood. The swelling in her stomach is extra fluid, and then on a private call from the doctor (HIPPA restricted) we find out that Eva Marie has an abnormal uterus and may never be able to have kids. Eva freaks out thinking her husband is going to go nuts cause he wants lots of kids. She finally tells him and breaks down. I actually have to give the schmuck credit in this episode for being very understanding. (Kevin’s Edit: I know I called him a tool above but he didn’t make the switch to non-meat head until helping her out as much as he did.) The worst thing a woman can be told is that she won’t be able to have kids, if she wants them. I don’t see Eva Marie as a ‘mom’ but who knows down the line. So Eva’s husband calls her Mom and her mom is really ‘frosty’ on the phone throwing it back in Eva’s face that she deserted her family to be with her husband, but then her mom says they will fly out. So her parents come, this time they don’t hide his stuff, and the parents and her husband find a truce and the dad and schmuck embrace, which is totally camera acted. (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE knows when to end feuds people don’t give a care about.) It’s hard to say what is real and what is fiction in this story line, but I felt most of it was really true. Would I want to share that on TV? No way! But I guess some people don’t mind airing their laundry for a buck.

Trinity and Jon decide it’s time to get married. They have been together for 5 years and engaged for 2. Trinity really wants Jon’s dad to be there, so at Old School Raw, they approach Rikishi after his match and they tell him that they are getting married in Maui in a few days and want him to be there. After a weird silence, he starts to get emotional and blames it on the match and then says he is so happy and will be there. This makes Trinity very happy as she wants the entire family on both sides there. They rent this gorgeous place on the beach where they will stay and have the ceremony. The night before the wedding Jon’s dad is still not there. Trinity starts asking if she’s the reason he’s not coming. Jon is very quiet and then finally tells her ‘no’ it’s because he got another gig and decided to do that instead. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m just throwing this out there because I haven’t heard an official statement from Rikishi but when you don’t attend your son’s wedding because he’s marrying a black woman, it means your a racist. White people aren’t the only ones who can be racist.) Ouch! There was talk of if he wasn’t coming because Trinity is not Samoan, but Jon says that is not the case. Jey is there with them and this is the 1st time I’ve ever heard him talk but he has some very kind and encouraging words for Jon and Trinity which is very sweet. The wedding day comes, no Rikishi, Trinity’s dad cries and Trinity looks gorgeous. Jon and Trinity are both moved by the ceremony (which I don’t think is something you can just fake) and they are now married. As they walked down the aisle as man and wife the chant of I say Uce you say O going on which was silly but fun.(Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t stop laughing that of all people the Usos could be close to, it was Drew McIntyre who I think started the chant. The guy is even a tool off camera. The Usos need to pick friends that are further up the WWE food chain now that they won the tag titles.)

In the end, the show was pretty good, probably one of the better episodes I’ve seen since this show aired, but I’m sure it definitely won’t last long as I’m sure Summer Rae is getting ready for a come back at some point to add drama and nauseating skankiness to the show. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Season 2 – Episodes 1 & 2

From mbpopart.com

From mbpopart.com

Tonight I have witnessed a train wreck. I felt so dirty, I had to take a shower when the show was over. I’m pretty sure I no longer have a working brain due to all the stupidity that arose from the episode. Due to too much on the dvr, we have decided to do She said He edited at different times to get different reactions. When I told my boyfriend all my brain cells died with this episode he laughed and said it would all be OK. (Kevin’s Edit: I laughed because you were being funny. I hope it translates into the article.) He has yet to watch the episode, so after he does he will understand my disbelief that they actually air this crap and that 4 million people actually take the time to watch it. (Kevin’s Edit: I gave her bad math. It was only 1.39 million people that watched it. I’m sure she won’t feel much better about my error.)

I can only write about the current episode that I watched as I am 3 weeks behind. But will quickly recap in each article. JoJo is gone and skanky Summer Rae is now on the show. I’m not sure who is worse. Summer Rae or Eva Marie. It’s like watching a bad porno with that fake blond hair and god awful red dye job. It was made obvious in the 1st few episodes that no one was going to like Summer Rae and she was placed on the show to make more drama for everyone, so I’ll save her for last. (Kevin’s Edit: More drama = more eyes.)

We’ll start with Eva Marie since the season ended with her and she was getting married, maybe, to her loser boyfriend. Well, no surprise here, but she did and did not inform her family. Her family came for a visit and she moved her husband out so there would be no trace of him. Huh, interesting way to start a marriage. Well, the family figured it out, they were pissed, but yet, who is calling the kettle black here since her brothers are living with women and are not married. So that just kinda ended. (Kevin’s Edit: I found her calling out her brothers hilarious. That subject did get dropped awfully quick.) Then photos popped up from back in the day and Eva Marie said those were a mistake and should have never been done. Creepy Fandango made a weird comment to her that made my skin crawl. In this past episode, Eva Marie and Summer Rae have become besties and are traveling separate from everyone on the bus because of the photo incident and because no one likes Summer Rae. She was the one that told Eva Marie about the photos. Even though Eva Marie thinks Summer Rae stepped over the line in episode 2 with Brie, they will still probably continue being besties for at least a while.

Nikki and John Cena got back together on the pier. It wasn’t as cheesy as the very first episode when they tried to reenact a scene from The Notebook, but who walks down a pier in high heeled shoes, a skin tight red dress with boobs popping out and a fur? Oh, Nikki Bella, that’s right. So John said he made mistakes and that he wants to try a lot harder. Nikki forgave him and all is well with the world. So far. Nikki did lose a tooth in an episode and she thought she looked hideous so refused to ride in the bus with John and tried to avoid him. Not the best decision when your relationship is on the line. In this past episode Nikki tried to be the support for Brie as Summer Rae made a play for Daniel Bryan, Brie’s then fiance. (Kevin’s Edit: She just asked him a really weird question about getting his approval. She didn’t seem to be coming on to Bryan to me. I do want to know who she slept with.)

Speaking of Brie, she thought it would be a great idea to rent a bus, like Nikki and John have and have everyone ride with them to split the cost. Bryan was not enthused with this idea as he is an environmentalist and those busses take up a LOT of gas and energy. But Brie got her wish and TJ/Nattie, Jon Uso/Trinity, Summer Rae, Eva Marie and Ariane all rode on the bus with Brie and Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: She got her wish because those other people were brought onto the bus to make it more “Green”.) Bryan made a few ‘house’ rules, no sex on the bus and no pooping on the bus. Well, both of these rules were broken as Nattie pooped on the bus and John Uso/Trinity almost got it on on the bus, it was broken up by Brie. Brie, the most sensible I think out of the group, ends up blowing her top this time around when Bryan tells her that Summer Rae sought him out and told him that she cares what he thinks, then made a flirtatious movement touching him. Because Nikki told her what Summer Rae did with John and some of the other male wrestlers, (hearsay of inappropriate comments), Brie went nuts and hunted down Summer Rae. Brie pretty much told her to never pull someone’s man aside alone and told her to stay away from Bryan. Summer Rae accused Brie of being insecure in her relationship, which caused Brie to go nuts and told Summer Rae pretty much that she is a skanky ho. Touche! All the while Bryan, Eva Marie and Nikki listening. Eva Marie agreed that Summer Rae crossed a line. Bryan told Brie that she is very protective of her man. (Kevin’s Edit: It’s pretty bad when Eva Marie is the voice of reason.)

You don’t have much going on with Ariane in the past few episodes. She was the one that found the photos of Eva Marie and showed them to everyone. She did try to apologize but Eva Marie has yet to accept her apology. I do think Ariane has a point, Eva Marie is very good at making it all about her and how fabulous she is getting the covers on magazine and getting a Mattel doll so early in her career. Ariane’s beef is that she got a cover too but no one seems to care. (Kevin’s Edit: Eva Marie does seem like a spot light hog but Ariane is the other drama queen who got trumped by Summer Rae. I’m surprised every guy hasn’t looked for skanky photos of (insert new Diva here) because there’s a 90% chance they exist.)

We find out that John Uso has a huge sex drive in this episode and can’t seem to keep it in his pants for 4 days while traveling on the bus. Trinity is OK with adhering to the rules, so she obviously feels bad when the get caught in the act by Brie on the bus.

Nattie has serious issues with Summer Rae. Whether it’s because they are both blonds, I’m not sure, but Nattie seems to despise her. In this episode, Nattie does try to take the high road and tell Summer Rae that she needs to be more respectful to the Diva’s and that she is making a display of all her skankiness. When the new Mattel dolls are out Nattie is thrilled and Summer Rae walks up and tells her that they did a good job at photoshopping her and that she used to look pretty and thin. This obviously upset Nattie who told Summer she needs to cool it. (Kevin’s Edit: Summer Rae is an excellent shit stirrer. I have no idea if all of these actions have led to her not being on TV now.) I think the best part of this past episode is when Nattie goes into the bathroom on the bus and starts screaming. First TJ goes in to the smallest bathroom in the world and comes out, then she calls for Brie. Come to find out, Nattie was putting Icy Hot on her ‘back’ when she got some Icy Hot in her butt and in hoo haa when she went to the bathroom. Where exactly she was putting the icy hot is still in question as she first said back then changed it to inner thigh. Hmmm. Either way, this is when we find out she pooped on the bus and got Icy Hot in her butt. Ha ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: I would imagine that Icy Hot burns similar to when I pooped out Scorpion Peppers.)

I leave the most skanky and the newbie for the end. Summer Rae. Man is she ugly. I thought Eva Marie was unattractive, but I think she has competition with Summer Rae. Summer Rae is a hateful woman who thinks she is better than everyone else. Being Fandango’s dance partner, yet being from NXT, she is now considered a Diva. Well, I see why Layla is now Fandango’s partner as in this past episode Fandango told Summer Rae, he didn’t need drama for his career, and this is exactly what she is doing, stirring drama. (Kevin’s Edit: I obviously don’t read ahead while making these comments. Summer Rae is a butter face but those legs make up for it.)

Summer Rae is the one that told Eva Marie that Ariane had the photos of her. Summer Rae is telling everyone that if Nattie spent more time on her wrestling and less time talking gossip then she may have won the Diva’s championship more than once in her Diva career. (Kevin’s Edit: I agree with Summer that Nattie is her own worst enemy. Just keep mentioning that you’re a Hart and eventually they’ll give me a long title reign, right? Maybe Nattie should work on the promo skills.) Summer Rae believes that she is gorgeous and is upset with her wardrobe and wants to be even sluttier than what she wears with Fandango and Summer Rae made a play at Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: Have you ever seen a dance competition? All the ladies are dressed slutty.)

So at the end of this train wreck of an episode, Summer Rae hunts down Nattie’s house, goes to the door uninvited and proceeds to tell Nattie that she needs to spend less time gossiping and more time focused on her career. She pretty much tells Nattie that she is an old, fat, unattractive Diva that isn’t worth anyone’s time. Nattie tells Summer Rae she is a ho. Summer Rae slaps her across the face. Nattie pushes her off her property and tells her to NEVER step foot on her property again.

After watching this episode, I needed a sedative. This episode was filled with so much cattiness and egos that I was just dumbfounded that I watched 42 minutes of stupidity. I honestly think that there were more brain cells saved watching Jersey Shore than watching Total Divas, at least this time around. I explained to my boyfriend that it was a cruel punishment for me to watch this show as I could have spent the 42 minutes doing something productive, but he informed me that he was sure I didn’t lose the brain cells that I thought I did and since I was still mobile and mumbling about a train wreck that I would be fine. (Kevin’s Edit: I lose brain cells when I’m researching for my Sippy Time Beer articles, not this show.)

Here’s to 1 Diva Show and article down and 2 more to go to get back on track. I’ve seen the previews for the next episode and no shocker, another train wreck is on the way. Will the WWE one day actually have good writing for the Diva show or will it always be this horrible, guess I’ll just have to tune in and lose a few more brain cells to see.– M (& Kevin)

Stunt Granny Audio #255

The better half.

The better half.

If you were wondering why it is considerably more sexy in here, it is because Dusty and Kevin are back for another rousing edition of Stunt Granny Audio. Kevin starts things off by breaking things down in the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs, and Dusty retaliates by regaling us with the lowdown on the NBA playoffs. They then move on to talking about the latest episode of Monday Night Raw. Dusty is still disgusted by the overly long Gettysburg Address reading interviews that WWE seems to love. Does Paul Heyman get a pass for his work? Where does Rob Van Dam fit in to this current landscape? Is Stephanie McMahon the worst?

They then break down which promotion has the better looking women – WWE or WCW. Which TNA performer has that ass? Which ring announcer chick does Dusty prefer – Renee Young or Christy Hemme? If you have to ask, you’ll never know. Do they have any faith in Jeff Jarrett and Global Force Wrestling making a dent in TNA’s business? What kind of pizza do they prefer? Who was the better member of the Powers of Pain? All that and a whole lot more nonsense, and if you don’t listen, you’re going to get arrested for public stupidity.

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