Wrestlemania XXX Preview: The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Andre The Giant Battle RoyalJeremy & Kevin start the second half of their Wrestlemania previews with a look at a match announced by Hulk Hogan, the Andre The Giant Battle Royal. He didn’t announce what the prize was for winning. The WWE hasn’t announced anything in the time since then. So does it matter if Big Show wins? Or will he get to continue his losing ways? Does it matter that Dolph Ziggler has been on a winning streak? How about Big E Langston who isn’t defending the Intercontinental Title? Could a returning Rey Mysterio beat the odds again? Will Kofi Kingston get to be a spot monkey? Will Sheamus Brogue Kick everyone out of the ring? Will one of the mystery guests win the Battle Royal? Is anyone speculating on who will be in the vacant spots? Jeremy & Kevin’s big question of this show though is, why are some of these other jokers getting a Wrestlemania bonus if they can’t crack one of the main television shows? Shouldn’t the over talent want an even larger slice of the pie? Both of yours hosts would so click on the link below for something we won’t earn a dime off.

 

WrestleMania XXX Preview Shows
WrestleMania XXX Preview: WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match
WrestleMania XXX Preview: Bray Wyatt vs John Cena
WrestleMania XXX Preview: Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational
WrestleMania XXX Preview: Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker

Stunt Granny Audio #244

Winning.

Winning.

If you don’t think it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio, then you are a complete imbecile because it is absolutely time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio! This time around, your co-pilots are Kevin and Dusty, and oh my my, is there a lot to talk about! The two discuss the impending induction of Ultimate Warrior into the WWE Hall of Fame. Will his speech be as bat shit crazy as his old promos were? Who the hell is going to induct him? Is Vince McMahon crossing old vendettas off his list before he kicks the bucket? The two also get off on a side tangent here about Vince dictating in his will that his corpse still be involved in angles.

They also discuss how Monday Night Raw is usually really good during WrestleMania season, but express their frustrations on the whole Daniel Bryan/Bray Wyatt storyline. They also talk about ridiculous contracts being given out in professional sports (congratulations, Clayton Kershaw), make fun of the new Chicago Cubs mascot, and a whole lot more wackiness than you can shake a stick at, and it’s only going to take about an hour of your life, so listen to it or else they’ll send Crowley after you!

The @WWE Slammy Awards Are During #Raw Part III

I'm Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

I’m Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

Tag Team of the Year – Which Duo Did The Best? – The Shield (Rollins & Reigns), Prime Time Players, The Usos, Cody Rhodes & Goldust and The Real Americans – I’ve covered the Real Americans enough already. They’re not winning. The Prime Time Players may have a gay gentleman in Darren Young and a clear WWE favorite in Titus O’Neil but that has gotten them nowhere aside from having a good dance. The Usos are a notch above PTP but not by much. By hanging in the title picture, I give them a spot ahead but they’re not winning either. The Shield had the titles for longer this year but with the fans voting, I’ve got to go with Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Cody is finally saddled without a gimmick that limits him but unfortunately the tag straps limit your mic time. Goldust has been a fantastic comeback story so he might win two categories because of one reason.

“You Still Got It!” Best Superstar Return Award – Which Returning Competitor Made The Best Comeback in 2013? – Rob Van Dam, Goldust, The Bella Twins, Bruno Sammartino and Chris Jericho – Considering that the WWE doesn’t think we’ve got memories due to their story line plot holes that are larger than pot holes in Ohio this time of the year, we should probably count out Chris Jericho. He has been gone for several months and even though HHH mentioned him, he won’t win the vote. My woman will continue to have to dream about Jerry’s next appearance. Rob Van Dam falls under the same category. He would have been the vote hands down but staying off TV will not help fans thumbs to click RVD in the voting polls. Bruno Sammartino should win this one but he’s in a similar category to Jericho & RVD in that he hasn’t been on TV recently. His reasons for coming back may be wrong headed but he is one of the greatest ever. Giving him a worthless award is the least you could do for the man. The Bella Twins shouldn’t count. Ahh crap, they had been gone for a while, hadn’t they? Well, whatever. They might deserve it for making the women’s division somewhat relevant because of Total Divas but as the show points out, Nikki has been out the majority of the time since their return. Maybe if Brie Bella had been listed by herself, I’d be more interested in voting for them. Goldust is going to win because he’s got gold and a whole lot of momentum behind him.

Best Dance Moves – Who Boogied the Best in 2013? – Fandango, Summer Rae, R-Truth, The Funkadactyls, The Great Khali and the “Miz-co” Inferno – It’s probably not a good thing for the “Miz-co” Inferno that I don’t remember his dance moves because everyone else is less likely to remember. The Great Khali is a dance machine that we haven’t seen since Young Frankenstein. R Truth could win if his name was Xavier Woods and he’s in a storyline trying to steal the Funkadactyls. Why are they listed as a duo while Fandango & Summer Rae being split into separate choices? The dances that Fandango & Summer attempt on a weekly basis are partnered dances. I’d love to see Summer Rae dance her ways into my bedroom but that isn’t the vote. The Funkadactyls will win due to their exposure on Total Divas even though that’s meant less dancing for them since Brodus Clay & Tensai were excavated after several months of extinction for the Xavier Woods feud.

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WWE Is The Worst? Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards At WWE Performance Center

American Wolves ToysAccording to Prowrestling.net, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards were at the WWE Performance Center on Monday. First, I had to laugh that even though Jason Powell didn’t bag on them like I did when Richards made a not so vague statement at Preston City Wrestling but he did come to the same conclusion that I did which is that these two ROH stars will spark the WWE Tag Team division. I’m not sure it needs sparking with The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins), The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan), the Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil), The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger), Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando), 3MB (Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater), The Usos (Jimmy & Jey), Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) and the current champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust. I can’t believe I needed three lines of print to list all of the tag teams which also leaves out the maybe new team from last night of R Truth & Xavier Woods. So the WWE has nine tag teams with a tenth in the making. Does that sound like a company that needs to jump start their tag team division? I’m as guilty as anyone on the internet who buried, dug up and re-buried the tag team multiple times between about 2002 and now but I’d have to say no spark is needed currently. Could the WWE use another team? Sure, because they’ve got more TV time than any daily soap opera.

It was also amusingly noted that they spent time in the ring with Billy Gunn and NXT regulars. I’m not sure what exactly Gunn is going to teach them since he was bad on both the mic and in the ring. At least Richards & Edwards already have the in ring work down. I know the one thing Gunn could teach them is how to market themselves. No one forgets the Billy Gunn theme. No, not the big introduction he got from “Road Dogg” Jesse James during his New Age Outlaws days. This one. – Kevin

#WWE #Smackdown Spoilers

spoiler-alertSo before I get to the spoilers, let’s ramble about stuff that can be mentioned. The crowd was much smaller for Smackdown than the Raw that was here earlier this year. No one was in the upper deck. The hard camera had people in the next 2 sections beside it for Raw. They were tarped off last night. Columbus also got royally hosed with appearances. I understand that Smackdown is the #2 show but we got no Big Show, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, The Shield, my boy Dolph Ziggler or the McMahon Family. Now, I didn’t expect all of them to be there but none of them? Wow. Thirdly, it was a fun reminder of the change in crowd when you go from the expensive seats to the cheap seats. We sat around an interesting crew, some of which still believed wrestling is real. Yes, it is 2013.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

So if I had just made up my mind and had my computer repaired, I wouldn’t be using my parent’s spare old Dell. Of course, maybe dropping water on the lap top should have warned me that the rest of my week was going to suck from then on. I’m starting late again so I’m doing babbling. Let’s roll.

Angelo Savoldi is recognized. I get to learn who he is on Wikipedia. I’m sure I can do the reading during HHH‘s long speech. Stephanie gets to tell them that the 10 are “men.” RVD gets to be the mouth piece of the group. The McMahon’s try to turn the tables mentally on the 10 by giving them the Shield. He’s having a hard time pronunciating “frustration.” Okay, maybe they have me again. Not sure where they’re taking this thing and they don’t seem to know either.

Kofi Kingston is taking on Alberto Del Rio. Are the McMahon’s trying to wear out the 10 before their elimination match? Lawler asking if the match is fair to the Shield is pretty weird. Shouldn’t that be JBL’s role? They get a break with Kofi in control. The crowd is starting to do random chants. No surprise that Chicago is bringing it. Kofi gets a near fall from an SOS. I can’t remember the last time I saw a Boom Drop. It hasn’t gotten better. Nice German Suplex by Del Rio. Kofi screws up a DDT. Kofi misses a cross body. Del Rio goes vicious. Kofi taps out to the Cross Arm Breaker.

Renee Young gets to ask Miz the tough questions. HHH can’t let him wrestle because of his condition. He gives Miz the Big Show on Miz TV. They recap the Rhodes happenings.

The Prime Time Players get to take on the Wyatt Family in the form of Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. The beat down of the 10 continues. Darren Young is taking it. The lights go off momentarily. Most exciting news of the match so far. Titus O’Neil gets the hot tag. Young takes out Rowan. Harper capitalizes on a distracted O’Neil. Clothesline for the Wyatt win. Young gets Sister Abigail’s kiss. Mitchell Cool gets cut off making a good point. Did someone just get in trouble?

Miz TV is on. The Miz wants to know why the Big Show would do that. The Miz asks the Big Show to stand up for himself. Stephanie McMahon strides down to the ring. Steph calls the Miz a utility person. She does condescending well. Steph makes Big Show knock out the Miz which he does with no hesitation. (Next Day Note: Did the WWE realize Big Show is a lot better as a heel? If so, good for them. I’d be happy to get rid of smilely Big Show again.)

Randy Orton comes out and finds out that his opponent is RVD. The announcer banter is the best part of the match until the early break. Buzzing thru entrances makes this so much quicker. I might catch up before the finish if I keep it up. Orton makes it interesting by kicking RVD off the top rope. He appears to have snapped. They get counted out but Orton still beats down RVD. So why aren’t the other 10 helping RVD out? What a bunch of pussies. Top Rope hanging DDT.

Randy Orton runs into the Bellas back stage. He warns Brie of his awaited beating. They’re doing a good job of putting more heat on Orton instead of the McMahons. They show clips from HHH’s new DVD. Big Steph does more condescending, this time to AJ Lee. AJ doesn’t like the way she’s being treated as Divas Champion. AJ listens to Big Steph.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

again fyalbSo I’m one of those dreaded people watching Monday Night Football during Raw thus hurting their average rating that has stayed pretty much steady for the last several years. The picture accurately describes my thoughts of the Steelers offense. Can’t argue about the defense too much. What are you going to do? Too early to panic but it could be another average or below average year if these patterns. It’s half time so I’ll do a little now and finish up after the game. Let’s roll.

Daniel Bryan is introduced as the new WWE Champion. I’m still thinking the other shoe will drop soon enough. I figured this feud was getting drug out with a cheap Randy Orton win. The Cleveland show already showing up with a “Daniel Bryan.” Strange things are afoot already. HHH comes down to ring side. Jeremy told me about the quick count. I glazed over that fact while reading the review. The referee has a name and it’s Scott Armstrong. Video dissection has come to Raw. It’s really annoying me that they’re using my own words against me. Holding people to standards of a regular corporation now using video evidence. Ah, it’s so much better that they “worked” in cahoots. Ugh. HHH strips him of the title. The irony of HHH’s speech is kind of funny. Randy Orton comes to ring side. Shouldn’t HHH have gotten to the bottom of this already? I’d love to have the NFL say “We’re going to wait 24 hours to reivew this positive test.” RKO by Orton as HHH walks away with the belt.

Wow, I mean, just a terrible offensive effort. The defense didn’t help by creating a turnover and taking some bad penalties on Cincinnati’s last drive. Stephanie and HHH are arguing when Randy Orton barges in. Steph threatens to find a new face of the WWE. Interesting turn of events. Dean Ambrose is taking on Dolph Ziggler in a rematch from last night. I’m really glad I didn’t order the PPV. They’ve undone the main event already and now repeat match. JBL is on fire already. Ziggler gets tossed to the outside for our break. Ambrose in control. Jerry Lawler finally makes a valid point in saying that HHH could be in cahoots with Armstrong. JBL took time to recover but responds to Lawler then starts laughing at himself. Dead give away he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. No wonder Jeremy thought he was drunk. Crowd solidly behind Ziggler. Small “Golden Flashes” chant. Zig Zag gets Dolph his win back. Much needed win for my boy. How did he win in kind of his home town? Not exactly excited that he’s in the IC Title hunt unless they decide to put any emphasis on it.

Brad Maddox is talking to HHH & Stephanie. She gets to belittle him again. I’m so blowing thru reviews and entrances tonight. This was all of consequence in that break.

R Truth is taking on Fandango. Holy cow, JBL is now mixing up the points that Lawler is making. Holy cow, allegedly JBL is drunk. JBL rips on Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler. I’m not even paying attention to the match. Top rope leg drop for the Fandango win. He needed a win too. Dusty Rhodes is talking to a bunch of people backstage.

Dusty Rhodes is delivering a Dusty promo even though he’s here as Virgil Runnels. Stephanie‘s music is so over the top. It doesn’t really fit her character at all. She gives him a gift card for for Bed, Bath & Beyond. Ha. She makes him decide between rehiring Cody Rhodes and Goldust. After more insults, Dusty Rhodes tells Steph to go to hell. The Shield is summoned. Stephanie asks Big Show to come out. I love the crowd finishing the Big Show’s song. Steph makes him choose between Big Show knocking him out and an attack by the Shield. Big Show cries. He scares off a Shield attack so he can do the honors. He’s sorry. KO punch then he gently puts him down.

Brie Bella is now a baby face. The Funkadactyls are wearing better ring gear. Layla, Alicia Fox & Aksana are the heels. Natalya’s head set was not working and it seems like a work because they are blaming AJ for its’ malfunction. Facebuster by Brie Bella for the win. Natalya yells at AJ and they have a stare down. The Miz & Brad Maddox are talking.

RVD is taking on Damien Sandow. At least he gets to job to a bigger name this week. Five Star Frog Splash as the losing streak continues for Sandow. It is funny having him brag after the losses. Keeps heat on him.

HHH is back stage with Scott Armstrong. How can Cool or Lawler not call JBL on some of his previous shenanigans to hold onto the title belt? Armstrong gets to nod as HHH lets him go. So, now we’re supposed to think of refs as important? I want Mike Chioda! Randy Orton comes out. The Miz gets attacked as he hugs his family. That’s why Dolph was let off the hook. His mom doesn’t live in Cleveland. Miz’s parents should be horrified by their look. Did they know they were going to be on TV?

The Miz decides to fight one armed. The only person to ever be hurt for any span of time by the stairs. Please take them in for a hair cut Miz. At least. This could actually get the Miz back on track. Let him go aggressive again instead of cheese dick huckster host of Summerslam. Hanging DDT off the barracade. Orton drops the knee while Miz has his head in a chair. Miz better be taking some time off even if he’s not really injured.

Paul Heyman comes out in a wheel chair with Ryback & Curtis Axel. Nexus is reforming. When does Wade Barrett join? Heyman pinned CM Punk. Heyman had no back up plan. He isn’t taking credit for his win. Nice little team they have going here for Heyman though. Ryback got his message across. Heyman then kissed him. Weird.

Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro are taking on Tons of Funk and the Usos. Each team is getting a crack at it early. Tensai gets to hold up Cesaro for a suplex. Tensai looking unusually good. Because of course they are the first ones eliminated. Cesaro rolled up Tensai. Commercial. Makes sense to have the Usos win since the Shield are champs. Jimmy Uso gets the hot tag. Swagger takes the beating. Cesaro breaks up a pin. Double over the top rop dive by the Usos. Patriot lock. Jimmy kicks out then super kicks Swagger. Jey tags in without Swagger seeing. Top rope splash for the Usos win.

Bray Wyatt gets another video message. He needs to put down some bad animals in his world. Good stuff.

Roman Reigns is in the ring when Daniel Bryan comes down. Randy Orton comes down after. I’m just tuning out the announcers at this point. It’s late and they’re rehashing arguments. There’s not much use in calling the match. Split screen showing the counts. I’m way too awake for the time it is, 1:27 AM. The only thing I can think is “Please call the match so I can rest my eyes” and “watch” the match. Randy Orton belongs on GQ. JBL is definitely, allegedly drunk. Close count after the head count. Rollins takes a brutal spill when Bryan drop kicks him thru the ropes. Randy Orton attacks Bryan when he had the Yes Lock on Reigns. Orton gets locked. The Shield attacks. I dropped water on my lap top. Yep, it’s late. Everyone empties from the locker room and attacks the Shield. Orton takes off. Seth Rollins is the last one in the ring because he’s the best seller. Why is this taking place on free TV? – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

acc-logoIt’s time like this that I’d love to have my cable box built in picture in picture. Not that I have a lot of hope for the Pittsburgh Panthers to defeat Florida State but I would like to keep an eye on it. I’m sure this review will now go slowly as I stop to check the score every commercial break. Let’s roll.

Just what I wanted to start the show, more HHH. So remind me as to why the McMahons were involved in this storyline when HHH was just going to take it over when the plan was revealed? He introduces Randy Orton. I’m not going to be able to handle more Mitchell Cool. That’s the other problem with using the same announcers from show to show, they argue the same stuff show after show. Cool & JBL had the same arguments on Smackdown as they did on Raw last week. Jerry Lawler doesn’t add any spice to the arguments. Or at least not enough. Orton finally gets mic time. He doesn’t do much with it. HHH gets to bore us some more. He gives us a lesson in popularity vs best for business. Daniel Bryan finally ends our misery. He delivered. Unfortunately, HHH gets to suck the air out of the place. Big Show is Bryan’s opponent for the night.

Man, things are starting to get ugly right before half. Cody Rhodes walks by a chummy HHH and Randy Orton. Rhodes of course gets himself in hot water with his potty talk. For some reason, HHH didn’t get an invitation for Rhodes wedding. Rhodes takes on Orton tonight. HHH promises that if he loses, he won’t have employment. Fandango is taking on the Miz. I didn’t need Mitchell Cool to talk about twerking. Plus, it always seems stupid that JBL & Cool do an online show where they always imply they’re friendly so why would they bicker so much on TV? JBL is trying but no one is joining him. FSU scored again after another INT. Pitt’s QB situation hasn’t gotten better this year. Fandango had control after the break. Fandango’s pants are fantastic. Cool sling shot leg drop from him too. Miz turned it into the Figure Four. The Miz wins for the first time in a while.

Booker T talks to Daniel Bryan about giving up the title match. Bryan can’t believe he just said that. We all saw that one coming, right? Not necessarily a bad thing. We get review of CM Punk/Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel. I’m mostly paying attention to my fantasy football draft during it.

Dolph Ziggler is waiting in the ring when Dean Ambrose attacks him from behind. He gets tossed shoulder first into the post. Ryback comes out as Ziggler’s opponent. They recycle the good employee arguments for Ziggler. JBL isn’t convincing even though he’s the only one making points. Ziggler gets a short run of offense. Shellshock. First time, he’s won in a while too. He was chickening out of matches. Stephanie is backstage with HHH. Brad Maddox informs them that Big Show is refusing to wrestle Daniel Bryan. We’re getting a public call out.

As if they listened to my column, Steph gets involved in the angle. Big Show made a bunch of bad investments. It isn’t an Iron Clad contract if they have clauses to fire him. Big Show makes a good puppy dog face with Steph pulling on his heart strings. Better than HHH.

Prime Time Players are taking on 3MB. Drew McIntyre is still the odd man out. Slater’s new ink looks pretty awesome. Darren Young gets to take the beating. Titus O’Neil gets the hot tag. Glad a big boot didn’t end the match. Sky High for the win.

Oh wow, just flipped back to the Pitt/FSU match up. Officially ugly. Brad Maddox is on the phone when Paul Heyman walks in. HHH comes in to defend the decision Maddox made. HHH doesn’t think Heyman can weasel out of this predicament but he wants to see him try. HHH wins with a weasel or a Heyman beating. Okay, so why is HHH now a fan favorite by making that decision and cutting that promo? Much better than earlier in the show. Bray Wyatt talks about Icarus. He talk like Kane is going to join his crew. I like the extended audition. I can’t stop thinking about Kid Icarus though.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

GG-Park-Disc-GolfI didn’t travel to San Francisco to play frisbee golf but that was the hardest thing I did all weekend. The lady & I went on both Saturday and Sunday to separate courses in town. Hopefully I’ll toss a few more rounds this coming weekend. I guess sitting in a theater for Man of Steel strained me about as much. I had no idea Superman’s dad was supposed to sort of a bad ass. I’ve never been able to get behind that particular comic. Having only a weird substance that isn’t found on Earth (I’m guessing) as a weakness always seemed silly to me. Any who. Let’s roll.

The Shield is individually introduced so that HHH can come to the ring. The crowd is still very pro HHH. I’m not surprised this isn’t working. As I type that, the crowd starts to boo after he gets on the stick. We get to see the end of Summerslam on free TV a week later. HHH offers to be the bigger man with Daniel Bryan and tells him they can get into a business relation. HHH makes me go find the ratings from last week because I don’t normally care. Holy crap, if way up means the 3.24 rating then our hits our way up for the site. HHH is giving Randy Orton a hideous & large SUV. Randy Orton barely talks for the second week in a row when Daniel Bryan interrupts. I’m still amazed at how he’s picked up the promos. I’ll mention again that I didn’t see him much in ROH. But he wasn’t that great on NXT. HHH gets to go back to sucking after doing really well last week. Randy Orton is an A player who evidently is so much of an A, he can’t cut his own promos. Oh boy, I wonder if he’s going to beat Rollins & Ambrose then he either valiantly loses to Reigns or they gang up on him and he wins the battle but loses the war. JBL towing the company line with no looks of disgust or barbs from Jerry Lawler or Mitchell Cool is pathetic.

Cody Rhodes comes out to wrestle Summer Rae & Fandango. Damien Sandow is on the headset. Fandango’s music hits and the Miz comes out dancing with, where have you been Rosa Mendes? Brad Maddox gives us a tag match. He kills me when he tells us how obvious the teams are. They get a commercial break. I hope they team Rosa with the Miz for my eyeballs. Fandango sells out his partner. Skull Crushing Finale for the win. Fandango has mic in hand at the top of the ramp. Lawler calls Cody’s trip a good idea. JBL doesn’t call him out. I hope mediocrity isn’t rubbing off on him.

Christian is backstage with Josh Matthews. He tries to talk his way around insulting the McMahons. Randy Orton interrupts so he can still flex his mic skills. Christian is ready for a fight. Standard. Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel are excited about the fan vote after being bummed about it. Okay.

The match up is after the break. Of course “In Ring” is the option. Punk still has the crowd behind him quite well, thank you very much. Punk is a dumb baby face for going after Heyman early. Punk in control for another break. Axel got some offense in but it’s mostly been an extended squash match. GTS for a win after another short spurt of Axel offense. Paul balks at coming to the ring. Someone interferes, right? Heyman runs backstage. Security brings him out. Axel with a low blow. Punk gets handcuffed behind his back. Punk gets in some kicks but takes a beating with weapons. I’m loving these segments. Heyman is gold right now.

JoJo gets to be guest ring announcer. Natalya is out of the chute with the Funkadactyls. Brie Bella is escorted by Nikki & Eva Marie. Brie has an interesting outfit on. Not sure I dig the Taylor Swift like high tights. Brie with a Facebuster for a win. AJ Lee makes an appearance. She runs down Total Divas. This makes her awesome so the crowd cheers. The Bellas tell her to say it to our face. Um, she’s on the ramp, you can go to her. Why is she cutting a baby face promo? Great stuff out of AJ.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

kids_health_tvI ended up watching 2 Smackdowns, 1 Raw and 1 Impact Wrestling in roughly a 24 hour time period. No more than 28 hour time period. It was rough. There was debate of watching one of the two ROH but I ran out of time. Fuck those guys anyway. I couldn’t have watched Summerslam for fear of overload. It sounded pretty damn solid. I like the outcomes of the matches. Lesnar needs to win every now and again to stay relevant in between down times. Daniel Bryan losing it to Randy Orton is great for both men. Orton has been stale for a long time. Daniel Bryan will be hotter for even longer. Hunter didn’t need to be involved but makes him more interesting for the first time since he came back as “office guy”. I’m interested to see how this Raw shakes out. Let’s roll.

Hot damn, I forgot it’s in Anaheim. This crowd always blows. John Cena starts the show. By the way, watched the Steelers first team defense get smoked by Rex Grossman. Wow, it’s going to be a long season. 8-8 might look good by the end of this thing. Cena is taking some time off. This crowd is pretty lively. Did the city re-populate? Solid going away speech. Daniel Bryan gets introduced by Cena. Before he can say anything, Stephanie McMahon comes out. She apologizes to him. Bryan does his best undressing her. So they all did this as a big set up to go against Bryan? Steph is being a solid bitch. She tops it off with calling for security. I hope he eventually calls out HHH for being a coward and having Steph do his dirty business.

Damien Sandow is taking on Cody Rhodes again. Good thing I didn’t watch this part of the PPV. The crowd is back to it’s normal self for this match. They get a commercial break. Good for them. Cody had a long run of offense. Sandow got out of Cross Rhodes. Sandow gets hit by the Disaster Kick. Sandow irish whipped Rhodes into the corner. Rhodes rolls up Sandow for his second straight win. Brad Maddox gives us a tweet from Dolph Ziggler. Maddox puts him in a handicapped match with The Shield. My boy is still getting some good attention.

Paul Heyman reminds us of CM Punk’s loss to Brock Lesnar. Paul is hoping Punk rejoins him. He forgives Punk. That trick never works. Heyman still loves him. No one seems to care. The Bellas are mad at the Funkadactyls. Noami chills out Cameron? I can’t remember their wrestling names.

Mitchell Cool helps me out. I had them switched. The Funkadactyls are wrestling AJ Lee & Layla El. Reality show team wins, right? The lady and I are going to do a double dose of Total Divas sometime later this week. Naomi is taking the punishment. She gets out of it with an enziguri. Layla knocked Cameron off the apron. Naomi rolled her up for the win.

Dolph Ziggler gets to the ring for the Hounds of Justice to come down from the crowd. I wonder way Dean Ambrose has moved to the Under Armour shirt. Seth Rollins turns it around with the help of Charles Robinson. Roman Reigns gets to lay the wood. Cool backed JBL into a corner fairly well. JBL battled out well. Reigns gets caught moving slow. Rollins makes a save. Ziggler sells a jumping spear to Reigns for the loss. Good showing. He gets a triple power bomb.

Alberto Del Rio has a seriously busted up eye. He fights whatever happened to Sin Cara. Lawler tries to make it exciting. He fails. Sin Cara acts like he’s hurt. Maybe he is. That’d be kind of funny. He plays up the Latino crowd. Are they turning him baby face since Orton went heel and back to Raw? Ricardo Rodriguez tells us Del Rio isn’t a hero. He is out to introduce his new client. It’s RVD. Weird combo. Is it supposed to be like Bill Alphonso & RVD weirdness? RVD chases Del Rio from the ring.

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