Wrestlemania XXX Preview: The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Andre The Giant Battle RoyalJeremy & Kevin start the second half of their Wrestlemania previews with a look at a match announced by Hulk Hogan, the Andre The Giant Battle Royal. He didn’t announce what the prize was for winning. The WWE hasn’t announced anything in the time since then. So does it matter if Big Show wins? Or will he get to continue his losing ways? Does it matter that Dolph Ziggler has been on a winning streak? How about Big E Langston who isn’t defending the Intercontinental Title? Could a returning Rey Mysterio beat the odds again? Will Kofi Kingston get to be a spot monkey? Will Sheamus Brogue Kick everyone out of the ring? Will one of the mystery guests win the Battle Royal? Is anyone speculating on who will be in the vacant spots? Jeremy & Kevin’s big question of this show though is, why are some of these other jokers getting a Wrestlemania bonus if they can’t crack one of the main television shows? Shouldn’t the over talent want an even larger slice of the pie? Both of yours hosts would so click on the link below for something we won’t earn a dime off.

 

WrestleMania XXX Preview Shows
WrestleMania XXX Preview: WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match
WrestleMania XXX Preview: Bray Wyatt vs John Cena
WrestleMania XXX Preview: Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational
WrestleMania XXX Preview: Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker

Stunt Granny Audio #244

Winning.

Winning.

If you don’t think it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio, then you are a complete imbecile because it is absolutely time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio! This time around, your co-pilots are Kevin and Dusty, and oh my my, is there a lot to talk about! The two discuss the impending induction of Ultimate Warrior into the WWE Hall of Fame. Will his speech be as bat shit crazy as his old promos were? Who the hell is going to induct him? Is Vince McMahon crossing old vendettas off his list before he kicks the bucket? The two also get off on a side tangent here about Vince dictating in his will that his corpse still be involved in angles.

They also discuss how Monday Night Raw is usually really good during WrestleMania season, but express their frustrations on the whole Daniel Bryan/Bray Wyatt storyline. They also talk about ridiculous contracts being given out in professional sports (congratulations, Clayton Kershaw), make fun of the new Chicago Cubs mascot, and a whole lot more wackiness than you can shake a stick at, and it’s only going to take about an hour of your life, so listen to it or else they’ll send Crowley after you!

The @WWE Slammy Awards Are During #Raw Part III

I'm Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

I’m Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

Tag Team of the Year – Which Duo Did The Best? – The Shield (Rollins & Reigns), Prime Time Players, The Usos, Cody Rhodes & Goldust and The Real Americans – I’ve covered the Real Americans enough already. They’re not winning. The Prime Time Players may have a gay gentleman in Darren Young and a clear WWE favorite in Titus O’Neil but that has gotten them nowhere aside from having a good dance. The Usos are a notch above PTP but not by much. By hanging in the title picture, I give them a spot ahead but they’re not winning either. The Shield had the titles for longer this year but with the fans voting, I’ve got to go with Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Cody is finally saddled without a gimmick that limits him but unfortunately the tag straps limit your mic time. Goldust has been a fantastic comeback story so he might win two categories because of one reason.

“You Still Got It!” Best Superstar Return Award – Which Returning Competitor Made The Best Comeback in 2013? – Rob Van Dam, Goldust, The Bella Twins, Bruno Sammartino and Chris Jericho – Considering that the WWE doesn’t think we’ve got memories due to their story line plot holes that are larger than pot holes in Ohio this time of the year, we should probably count out Chris Jericho. He has been gone for several months and even though HHH mentioned him, he won’t win the vote. My woman will continue to have to dream about Jerry’s next appearance. Rob Van Dam falls under the same category. He would have been the vote hands down but staying off TV will not help fans thumbs to click RVD in the voting polls. Bruno Sammartino should win this one but he’s in a similar category to Jericho & RVD in that he hasn’t been on TV recently. His reasons for coming back may be wrong headed but he is one of the greatest ever. Giving him a worthless award is the least you could do for the man. The Bella Twins shouldn’t count. Ahh crap, they had been gone for a while, hadn’t they? Well, whatever. They might deserve it for making the women’s division somewhat relevant because of Total Divas but as the show points out, Nikki has been out the majority of the time since their return. Maybe if Brie Bella had been listed by herself, I’d be more interested in voting for them. Goldust is going to win because he’s got gold and a whole lot of momentum behind him.

Best Dance Moves – Who Boogied the Best in 2013? – Fandango, Summer Rae, R-Truth, The Funkadactyls, The Great Khali and the “Miz-co” Inferno – It’s probably not a good thing for the “Miz-co” Inferno that I don’t remember his dance moves because everyone else is less likely to remember. The Great Khali is a dance machine that we haven’t seen since Young Frankenstein. R Truth could win if his name was Xavier Woods and he’s in a storyline trying to steal the Funkadactyls. Why are they listed as a duo while Fandango & Summer Rae being split into separate choices? The dances that Fandango & Summer attempt on a weekly basis are partnered dances. I’d love to see Summer Rae dance her ways into my bedroom but that isn’t the vote. The Funkadactyls will win due to their exposure on Total Divas even though that’s meant less dancing for them since Brodus Clay & Tensai were excavated after several months of extinction for the Xavier Woods feud.

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WWE Is The Worst? Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards At WWE Performance Center

American Wolves ToysAccording to Prowrestling.net, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards were at the WWE Performance Center on Monday. First, I had to laugh that even though Jason Powell didn’t bag on them like I did when Richards made a not so vague statement at Preston City Wrestling but he did come to the same conclusion that I did which is that these two ROH stars will spark the WWE Tag Team division. I’m not sure it needs sparking with The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins), The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan), the Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil), The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger), Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando), 3MB (Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater), The Usos (Jimmy & Jey), Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) and the current champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust. I can’t believe I needed three lines of print to list all of the tag teams which also leaves out the maybe new team from last night of R Truth & Xavier Woods. So the WWE has nine tag teams with a tenth in the making. Does that sound like a company that needs to jump start their tag team division? I’m as guilty as anyone on the internet who buried, dug up and re-buried the tag team multiple times between about 2002 and now but I’d have to say no spark is needed currently. Could the WWE use another team? Sure, because they’ve got more TV time than any daily soap opera.

It was also amusingly noted that they spent time in the ring with Billy Gunn and NXT regulars. I’m not sure what exactly Gunn is going to teach them since he was bad on both the mic and in the ring. At least Richards & Edwards already have the in ring work down. I know the one thing Gunn could teach them is how to market themselves. No one forgets the Billy Gunn theme. No, not the big introduction he got from “Road Dogg” Jesse James during his New Age Outlaws days. This one. – Kevin

#WWE #Smackdown Spoilers

spoiler-alertSo before I get to the spoilers, let’s ramble about stuff that can be mentioned. The crowd was much smaller for Smackdown than the Raw that was here earlier this year. No one was in the upper deck. The hard camera had people in the next 2 sections beside it for Raw. They were tarped off last night. Columbus also got royally hosed with appearances. I understand that Smackdown is the #2 show but we got no Big Show, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, The Shield, my boy Dolph Ziggler or the McMahon Family. Now, I didn’t expect all of them to be there but none of them? Wow. Thirdly, it was a fun reminder of the change in crowd when you go from the expensive seats to the cheap seats. We sat around an interesting crew, some of which still believed wrestling is real. Yes, it is 2013.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

So if I had just made up my mind and had my computer repaired, I wouldn’t be using my parent’s spare old Dell. Of course, maybe dropping water on the lap top should have warned me that the rest of my week was going to suck from then on. I’m starting late again so I’m doing babbling. Let’s roll.

Angelo Savoldi is recognized. I get to learn who he is on Wikipedia. I’m sure I can do the reading during HHH‘s long speech. Stephanie gets to tell them that the 10 are “men.” RVD gets to be the mouth piece of the group. The McMahon’s try to turn the tables mentally on the 10 by giving them the Shield. He’s having a hard time pronunciating “frustration.” Okay, maybe they have me again. Not sure where they’re taking this thing and they don’t seem to know either.

Kofi Kingston is taking on Alberto Del Rio. Are the McMahon’s trying to wear out the 10 before their elimination match? Lawler asking if the match is fair to the Shield is pretty weird. Shouldn’t that be JBL’s role? They get a break with Kofi in control. The crowd is starting to do random chants. No surprise that Chicago is bringing it. Kofi gets a near fall from an SOS. I can’t remember the last time I saw a Boom Drop. It hasn’t gotten better. Nice German Suplex by Del Rio. Kofi screws up a DDT. Kofi misses a cross body. Del Rio goes vicious. Kofi taps out to the Cross Arm Breaker.

Renee Young gets to ask Miz the tough questions. HHH can’t let him wrestle because of his condition. He gives Miz the Big Show on Miz TV. They recap the Rhodes happenings.

The Prime Time Players get to take on the Wyatt Family in the form of Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. The beat down of the 10 continues. Darren Young is taking it. The lights go off momentarily. Most exciting news of the match so far. Titus O’Neil gets the hot tag. Young takes out Rowan. Harper capitalizes on a distracted O’Neil. Clothesline for the Wyatt win. Young gets Sister Abigail’s kiss. Mitchell Cool gets cut off making a good point. Did someone just get in trouble?

Miz TV is on. The Miz wants to know why the Big Show would do that. The Miz asks the Big Show to stand up for himself. Stephanie McMahon strides down to the ring. Steph calls the Miz a utility person. She does condescending well. Steph makes Big Show knock out the Miz which he does with no hesitation. (Next Day Note: Did the WWE realize Big Show is a lot better as a heel? If so, good for them. I’d be happy to get rid of smilely Big Show again.)

Randy Orton comes out and finds out that his opponent is RVD. The announcer banter is the best part of the match until the early break. Buzzing thru entrances makes this so much quicker. I might catch up before the finish if I keep it up. Orton makes it interesting by kicking RVD off the top rope. He appears to have snapped. They get counted out but Orton still beats down RVD. So why aren’t the other 10 helping RVD out? What a bunch of pussies. Top Rope hanging DDT.

Randy Orton runs into the Bellas back stage. He warns Brie of his awaited beating. They’re doing a good job of putting more heat on Orton instead of the McMahons. They show clips from HHH’s new DVD. Big Steph does more condescending, this time to AJ Lee. AJ doesn’t like the way she’s being treated as Divas Champion. AJ listens to Big Steph.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

again fyalbSo I’m one of those dreaded people watching Monday Night Football during Raw thus hurting their average rating that has stayed pretty much steady for the last several years. The picture accurately describes my thoughts of the Steelers offense. Can’t argue about the defense too much. What are you going to do? Too early to panic but it could be another average or below average year if these patterns. It’s half time so I’ll do a little now and finish up after the game. Let’s roll.

Daniel Bryan is introduced as the new WWE Champion. I’m still thinking the other shoe will drop soon enough. I figured this feud was getting drug out with a cheap Randy Orton win. The Cleveland show already showing up with a “Daniel Bryan.” Strange things are afoot already. HHH comes down to ring side. Jeremy told me about the quick count. I glazed over that fact while reading the review. The referee has a name and it’s Scott Armstrong. Video dissection has come to Raw. It’s really annoying me that they’re using my own words against me. Holding people to standards of a regular corporation now using video evidence. Ah, it’s so much better that they “worked” in cahoots. Ugh. HHH strips him of the title. The irony of HHH’s speech is kind of funny. Randy Orton comes to ring side. Shouldn’t HHH have gotten to the bottom of this already? I’d love to have the NFL say “We’re going to wait 24 hours to reivew this positive test.” RKO by Orton as HHH walks away with the belt.

Wow, I mean, just a terrible offensive effort. The defense didn’t help by creating a turnover and taking some bad penalties on Cincinnati’s last drive. Stephanie and HHH are arguing when Randy Orton barges in. Steph threatens to find a new face of the WWE. Interesting turn of events. Dean Ambrose is taking on Dolph Ziggler in a rematch from last night. I’m really glad I didn’t order the PPV. They’ve undone the main event already and now repeat match. JBL is on fire already. Ziggler gets tossed to the outside for our break. Ambrose in control. Jerry Lawler finally makes a valid point in saying that HHH could be in cahoots with Armstrong. JBL took time to recover but responds to Lawler then starts laughing at himself. Dead give away he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. No wonder Jeremy thought he was drunk. Crowd solidly behind Ziggler. Small “Golden Flashes” chant. Zig Zag gets Dolph his win back. Much needed win for my boy. How did he win in kind of his home town? Not exactly excited that he’s in the IC Title hunt unless they decide to put any emphasis on it.

Brad Maddox is talking to HHH & Stephanie. She gets to belittle him again. I’m so blowing thru reviews and entrances tonight. This was all of consequence in that break.

R Truth is taking on Fandango. Holy cow, JBL is now mixing up the points that Lawler is making. Holy cow, allegedly JBL is drunk. JBL rips on Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler. I’m not even paying attention to the match. Top rope leg drop for the Fandango win. He needed a win too. Dusty Rhodes is talking to a bunch of people backstage.

Dusty Rhodes is delivering a Dusty promo even though he’s here as Virgil Runnels. Stephanie‘s music is so over the top. It doesn’t really fit her character at all. She gives him a gift card for for Bed, Bath & Beyond. Ha. She makes him decide between rehiring Cody Rhodes and Goldust. After more insults, Dusty Rhodes tells Steph to go to hell. The Shield is summoned. Stephanie asks Big Show to come out. I love the crowd finishing the Big Show’s song. Steph makes him choose between Big Show knocking him out and an attack by the Shield. Big Show cries. He scares off a Shield attack so he can do the honors. He’s sorry. KO punch then he gently puts him down.

Brie Bella is now a baby face. The Funkadactyls are wearing better ring gear. Layla, Alicia Fox & Aksana are the heels. Natalya’s head set was not working and it seems like a work because they are blaming AJ for its’ malfunction. Facebuster by Brie Bella for the win. Natalya yells at AJ and they have a stare down. The Miz & Brad Maddox are talking.

RVD is taking on Damien Sandow. At least he gets to job to a bigger name this week. Five Star Frog Splash as the losing streak continues for Sandow. It is funny having him brag after the losses. Keeps heat on him.

HHH is back stage with Scott Armstrong. How can Cool or Lawler not call JBL on some of his previous shenanigans to hold onto the title belt? Armstrong gets to nod as HHH lets him go. So, now we’re supposed to think of refs as important? I want Mike Chioda! Randy Orton comes out. The Miz gets attacked as he hugs his family. That’s why Dolph was let off the hook. His mom doesn’t live in Cleveland. Miz’s parents should be horrified by their look. Did they know they were going to be on TV?

The Miz decides to fight one armed. The only person to ever be hurt for any span of time by the stairs. Please take them in for a hair cut Miz. At least. This could actually get the Miz back on track. Let him go aggressive again instead of cheese dick huckster host of Summerslam. Hanging DDT off the barracade. Orton drops the knee while Miz has his head in a chair. Miz better be taking some time off even if he’s not really injured.

Paul Heyman comes out in a wheel chair with Ryback & Curtis Axel. Nexus is reforming. When does Wade Barrett join? Heyman pinned CM Punk. Heyman had no back up plan. He isn’t taking credit for his win. Nice little team they have going here for Heyman though. Ryback got his message across. Heyman then kissed him. Weird.

Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro are taking on Tons of Funk and the Usos. Each team is getting a crack at it early. Tensai gets to hold up Cesaro for a suplex. Tensai looking unusually good. Because of course they are the first ones eliminated. Cesaro rolled up Tensai. Commercial. Makes sense to have the Usos win since the Shield are champs. Jimmy Uso gets the hot tag. Swagger takes the beating. Cesaro breaks up a pin. Double over the top rop dive by the Usos. Patriot lock. Jimmy kicks out then super kicks Swagger. Jey tags in without Swagger seeing. Top rope splash for the Usos win.

Bray Wyatt gets another video message. He needs to put down some bad animals in his world. Good stuff.

Roman Reigns is in the ring when Daniel Bryan comes down. Randy Orton comes down after. I’m just tuning out the announcers at this point. It’s late and they’re rehashing arguments. There’s not much use in calling the match. Split screen showing the counts. I’m way too awake for the time it is, 1:27 AM. The only thing I can think is “Please call the match so I can rest my eyes” and “watch” the match. Randy Orton belongs on GQ. JBL is definitely, allegedly drunk. Close count after the head count. Rollins takes a brutal spill when Bryan drop kicks him thru the ropes. Randy Orton attacks Bryan when he had the Yes Lock on Reigns. Orton gets locked. The Shield attacks. I dropped water on my lap top. Yep, it’s late. Everyone empties from the locker room and attacks the Shield. Orton takes off. Seth Rollins is the last one in the ring because he’s the best seller. Why is this taking place on free TV? – Kevin

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