Brian Gewirtz out as head writer for Raw

Shit just got serious. THIS serious.

According to Dave “Patty” Meltzer, Brian Gewirtz has been removed from the position of head writer for Monday Night Raw. He will be retained, however, as a “consultant.” Which is basically the nice way of saying they don’t want to just completely fire him, but they want his ass on out of there. And I quote:

Everyone is scared.  Vince told the producers today, “I want results or I want resignations.”

So we all know how productive things are going to be in the short term with angry Vince placing mountains of pressure on everybody. Tonight’s show is going to be a total fucking mess.

On the plus side, at least we won’t have to be subjected to any more of Gewirtz subjecting us to his sensibilities under the guise of it being “what Vince wants.” I was waiting a long time for McMahon to wise up to that nonsense. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #185

The new ROH Champion is proud of his body.

It’s time for another rip roaring edition of Stunt Granny Audio, with Kevin and Dusty at the helm for your listening enjoyment. The fearless duo starts things off by talking about the illustrious new ROH World Champion, Kevin Steen. Can Dusty make up his mind on who he wants to compare Steen to? Is it Dusty Rhodes or Playboy Buddy Rose? Would a rose by any other name smell just as stinky as ROH’s decision to put the belt on him? Or does Kevin actually like the idea? One thing they definitely agree on is that ROH is in big trouble if they can’t get their shit together with regards to running the iPPVs. Are they on a mission to look as unprofessional as possible, or are they just that incompetent? They then move on to talking about the latest WWE Revolution? Is it going to be every bit as revolutionary as the last revolution? Is Kevin all revolutioned out? And finally, they delve into the earth shattering revelation of Linda Hogan and her new line of cosmetics. Dusty makes a startling confession about the whole thing, but you have to listen to find out what it is, and it’s only going to cost you about an hour of your dull, meaningless life. So get on it!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #185

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 8/20/11

1. Kevin Nash – A week and a day after Nash joked about becoming HHH’s body guard against CM Punk at the meet and greet for PWO’s Wrestlelution 4, he did just that at Summerslam. Well, maybe. The WWE decided to thicken the plot by having John Laurinaitis talk to Nash and Stephanie McMahon talk to CM Punk. They both gave reasons why they could have sent the text message to Nash to attack the winner of the match. Since we know it was Nash in the ring with the (Jack) Knife, finding out the sender of the text message is the only part of this  “Who Done It?” that remains unresolved. – Kevin

2. Mike Chioda – Not only did we already know that Chioda was “The Man” amongst referees, now we allegedly know that he must be “The Man” for partying after his Wellness Policy violation. I wonder if he counts to three or ten before exhaling. – Kevin

3. Sting, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair – Sting cut another ridiculously awful promo which is no surprise. The highlight of which was him asking the crowd if they wanted to see Hogan in another match against him. Even the Impact Zone crowd, who will cheer for just about anything, had a tepid response. Adding to the old age home amusement, Ric Flair complimented Sting on how in shape he was. Later, Flair showed off his tuned up physique to Hogan in his office. Any combination of these three in the ring will produce more sag than Joan Rivers’ botox could prevent. – Kevin

4. Jeremy & Eric – Where are they this week? Good question. I hope when they come back, if they ever come back, they apologize to you, the loyal reader, for going MIA here. – Dusty

5. The Young Bucks – Boy did I start a mini-bleepstorm with my Young Bucks post. Let me break it down for you: If you are too stupid to go into a WWE lockerroom and not shake everyone’s hand, go into a corner and wait your goddamn turn for a match, you don’t deserve to be in professional wrestling. And if you are so ball-less you post passive aggressive nonsense on Twitter and send your no talent brother in to do the dirty work, you are a horrible human being. This is not arguable. If you disagree with me, please go away. The Young Bucks should go away, too. – Dusty

6. Terri Runnels – My crack research team was able to locate a recent picture of Terri, which I will post here for your edification:

A gruesome visage, I know. – Dusty

7. Evolve – The next step for Evolve is in full effect:

Fat, ugly, badly recorded Jew guy wants YOU! – Dusty

8. Dave Meltzer – What on earth is causing “I” to be replaced with “In” every single time he writes it? This has happened for several weeks in a row now, and is quite frankly very disturbing. Is it a legit typo, every single time? A glitch in his voice-to-text software? The world may never know. – Dusty

9. Joey Abs – I guarantee you you want to know what’s been going on with Joey Abs lately:

What kind of a man hunts with a cellaphone? Real men don’t even own them. – Dusty

10. Sin Cara – The dude playing the fake Sin Cara character (Hunico) was Mystico before Sin Cara was Mistico. He then changed his name to Incognito and started to sell merchandise with his face on it. We’re talking about Incognito soap, candy bars, lighters, napkins, you name it. He sucks, as does real Sin Cara. However, I just gave you a face full of knowledge. Knowledge, right in your maw! Eat the knowledge! Eat it! – Dusty

11. Football – Speaking of Incognito, let’s talk about Richie Incognito and the 2-0 Miami Dolphins. Or, as I like to refer to them, the 2-0 Miami Super Bowl Dolphins. What’s that? These games don’t count? These are fake games? Well… uh… Henne Henne Henne Henne Henne Henne… – Dusty

RIP Mickey Garagiola

Pictured above: Mickey Garagiola with Cowboy Bob Orton.

Mickey Gargiola passed away today at the age of 88 after a bout with cancer.  Mickey was best known as his role as Larry Matysik’s co-host and the ring announcer on Wrestling at the Chase on KPLR Channel 11 for many years.  His more famous brother Joe was the original host of Wrestling at the Chase.  Mickey was best considered “the voice of the fan” on the show as he would sit at the announce desk with Larry Matysik and occasionally make a comment about the action taking place in front of him or how he wanted to see a certain wrestler win an upcoming bout.

The Wrestling at the Chase show was tremendously successful until Sam Muchnick sold his interest in the St. Louis Wrestling club to a group of promoters headed by Bob Geigel and Harley Race.  Muchnick retired on January 1, 1982 and less than eighteen months later Gargiola was announcing on Channel 30 along with Matysik who was running opposition to the St. Louis Wrestling Club.  Unfortunately for all fans of the traditional St. Louis style of wrestling Vince McMahon Jr. convinced Ted Koplar who was the Program Director at KPLR to go with WWF programming instead of Matysik’s new venture which had canceled plans to stay on Channel 30 in order to move back to Channel 11.

From all accounts I have ever seen Mickey Garagiola was one of the most genuinely nice people ever involved in the wrestling business.  He was a long time waiter at Ruggeri’s on the Hill (if you ever go to St. Louis you must go to the Hill to eat Italian food!) and was very generous with his time particularly with those who were shut ins or disabled.  I may have to resubscribe to the Observer just to read Dave’s comments on this.  Mickey was one of the few remaining links to what was truly the golden era of wrestling in St. Louis.  As I mentioned on the nostalgia audio if you get the chance to listen to Larry Matysik’s interviews on 57 Gold you really should do so.  I think everything from 1981 on is extremely interesting. – Stunt Granny Nostalgia Expert Dan Kuester

Happy Heyman Talks A Good Game

So of course the Torch board is abuzz with the news of Paul Heyman possibly going to TNA, and Paul Heyman possibly turning TNA around, and Paul Heyman possibly turning water into wine. Slow the fuck down here. Paul Heyman ran his own wrestling promotion and it went out of business. It was a failure, mainly because of his own poor business management skills. Paul Heyman was a booker in WWE before he cracked under the corporate structure therein and went out in a blaze of glory.

Well that sounds an awful like James E. Cornette, doesn’t it? Cornette ran his own wrestling promotion and while it was critically acclaimed for awhile, eventually he ran out of fundage and it went out of business. Cornette booked for WWE for awhile before he eventually cracked under the corporate structure and went out in a blaze of glory. (Or, eventually, to OVW. Which is better than “blaze of glory.”)

Now, TNA had Cornette right under their noses and totally failed with him. They didn’t even let him burn out. They just plain never gave him the opportunity. I argued with a friend of mine the other night for like 10 minutes about this. Paul Heyman doesn’t need TNA. He’s in a position where he can afford to only go there if they meet all his conditions. And if they don’t meet his conditions, then they can screw off. And of course they are not going to meet all his conditions. So why would he even go there, try it out and then burn out, if he knew there was eventually going to be a burn out? He doesn’t need that aggravation.

TNA is not a wrestling company. I don’t remember the last time I saw TNA put on a wrestling show. They are not a serious company. They are a vanity project. They are a science project. They think they don’t need to give someone like Jim Cornette or Paul Heyman complete creative control. And therefore, they probably will never get those men under their employ. And subsequently, nothing will ever really change. Until further notice, we can continue to ignore TNA just as we normally do. I’ll let you know when there is some real news to report. – Dusty

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