Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation – #WWE ‘Future Endeavor Day’

th

Jeremy: So no more releases as of yet.

Kevin: I would have to think it’s ended now unless the rumor mill is true that no one can get a hold of JTG.

Jeremy: HA, poor JTG. Did you realize he was still employed?

Kevin: Yes because I’ve gone thru that roster page too often recently during shows. If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t even make Main Event.

Jeremy: If there was ever a time to replace him wouldn’t it be now? They have Xavier Woods after all.

Kevin: There is no reason to pay someone who can’t even make it to Main Event. JTG should be gone.

Jeremy: Unless he is a trainer behind the scenes? I have no clue what he does as a function for the company.

Kevin: Knowing the inner workings would always help. Maybe he helps choreograph the Funkadactyls routines.

Jeremy: Saw Chris post that he hasn’t had one match this year. What a great way to make money.

Kevin: More reasons to can the guy unless he’s doing something else for them. I bet he’s the mole who is giving TNA the scoop on the WWE’s story lines.

Jeremy: Then he is the worst possible mole ever. I have always figured TNA’s “mole” was the TYV in the office. “Hey look what they are doing. We should do that.”

Kevin: I can’t wait to see what they try to replicate tonight. Hold on, weren’t we talking about everyone who got canned? We haven’t mentioned any of them yet.

Jeremy: Oh yeah, well it sort of goes hand in hand. Some of these people could end up in TNA.

Kevin: If TNA is smart, they’ll stay away simply because more rip off jokes will follow. I know some of them might be useful with re-packaging but none of them are so good that they’ll drag TNA out of the dregs.

Jeremy: Out of the list of the released Evan Bourne will probably end up in ROH again or Dragon Gate USA. He is too talented for this to be the end of his career.

Kevin: He should land on his feet. No one else will care about the pot smoking. The rash of injuries usually subsides at some point. Hell, once brittle Fred Taylor even had a string of injury free years for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Jeremy: His injuries were from a car accident as well and then a string of “bad luck.” Regardless he has immediate merchandise potential as I have said since WWE called him up. TNA should take a look but they won’t.

Kevin: He’s the only guy I wouldn’t blame them for picking up. I’d be disappointed in him if he did that though. Everyone in wrestling has to know it’s a black hole.

Jeremy: At this time though if they come calling you sort of have to listen and at least consider it. Drew Mcintyre can still make a go of things.

Jeremy: Allow me to interrupt this conversation for breaking news: JTG has been released.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Brad-Pitt-fight-club-body

I was a lazy ass for the site for this past week. I’ll home that trend doesn’t continue. I’m bummed that I didn’t get to my Guinness post for St. Patrick’s Day. That still may be coming. I still have to review the 6 beers I had in Nashville that are all brewed in the fine state of Tennessee. I only have one game to attend this week so I’ll hope to get typing more. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out in black & gold in Pittsburgh to try and get a better crowd reaction. It doesn’t help. His promo doesn’t have Wrestlemania Main Event written anywhere near it. Glad John passed by the Pirates. They have a great history, just not a recent one. This skit is leading to a squash match. Woof. I like the Prime Time Players most of the time. This one was a terrible effort at an inopportune time. This squash match even gets a commercial break. Just wow. Forget what I said two weeks ago about the WWE writers waking up. Five Knuckle Shuffle & AA finishes the match after the break. Recap of Smackdown with Mark Henry, Ryback & the Shield. That was the next break.

David Otunga is fodder for Ryback. The crowd finally gets to the chanting for the clothesline. Shell shock. I’m glad he’s addressing Mark Henry. Vickie makes their match for Wrestlemania. I guess SD has a story line for this week. Granted, everyone knows that the Big Show is going to be the other partner. I was scratching my head watching SD.

Holy cow, another Smackdown recap. They are loving the Fandango. The Great Khali is coming down to the ring for some reason. Fandango wants Natalya to take a crack at his name. He’s going into a Brian Fantana/Ron Burgundy territory hitting on her. I wonder if he’s going to have the parquet by the time they hit Cbus in late April.

I’m kind of digging the R Truth wife beater. The whole outfit is a bit much. Damien Sandow is a good foil for him. I liked both of their promos more than Cena’s. Sandow saves himself by rolling out of the ring and getting counted out. Am I smelling a Rhodes Scholars vs R Truth & Kofi Kingston at Wrestlemania? Kaitlyn interrupts the Bellas who are fawning over Cody‘s mustache. I think I smell a Diva’s Title match too. Rhodes should drop the Bellas. Not even a contest.

Undertaker allows me time to catch up. Undertaker is short and to the point. CM Punk playing with the urn is awesome. I’ve loved his switch in focus away from the title reign length. Good stuff but not much to it.

Daniel Bryan & Kane are taking on Rosa Mendes with Epico & Primo. Mitchell Cool said that the mask hides Kane’s expressions. I guess he’s missed every single skit with these two since they’ve been together. Kane looks like he’s going to finish off Primo when AJ Lee skips around the ring. Epico takes the loss instead. Big E Langston & Ziggler vs these two for the titles at WM? Chris Jericho is proud of his Intercontinental Championship total. He’s interrupted by Fandango. Silly Jericho has been in full effect since his babyface turn. He’s not all that funny in this mode.

My mutt Kia can’t decide where to sleep tonight. She just took my spot on the couch. I skip over Alberto Del Rio‘s introduction. At least he has stopped using the car entrance. Cody Rhodes gets to lose to him.  The old shoulder into the post trick gets Rhodes his save face offense. Scratch on that. We do get a commercial break. The live crowd got to see most of Cody’s offense. Mitchell Cool explaining the Cross Arm Breaker like it was a complicated concept was really weird. A part of the crowd starts chanting “USA!” Cody Rhodes taps out. Jack Swagger ambushes Del Rio again. What a fall by Rodriguez. Looked like he rolled thru fairly well though. Zeb Colter gets to back up so that Swagger can save him. Good sell job by Ricardo too.

Booker T is going into the Hall of Fame. Good for him. I would have expected him to get the nod when they go to Texas again.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

hair_cut_gone_wrong

I want to pull out my hair from the majority of results this weekend on both Ring of Honor’s iPPV Final Resolution and WWE’s TLC PPV.  The Shield going over was not a decision that made me want to pull my hair out. I may add to this later.

Oh dear lord, both Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler pander to the lowest common denominator by telling us how to download an app for our smart phones. Rey Mysterio is taking on Damien Sandow in a singles match. I guess Rey wants his win. OR they’re keeping this feud going even longer. Neither of those excuses work for me. The first award gets more hype than the match. Booker T joins us. How nice of him. Our first award for most shocking moment of the year. Booker wants us to download their app. Fuck off. I’m not downloading it. I FF thru the award nominees. The Boogeyman comes out. I’m confused.

They did that just so Booker could say he did not just see that. Ugh. Brad Maddox comes prematurely. Get it? Wooka wooka. Kofi gets it for walking on his hands. Eve Torres is taking on Kaitlyn. I like the outfit change for Kaitlyn. Gut Buster for the Kaitlyn win. We get the New Age Outlaws to present an award. The crowd still eats him up. Comeback of the Year. How can Lawler not win that award. People would be heartless if they didn’t give it to him. Wooka wooka. He wins it.

Kofi Kingston takes on Tensai. The crowd is still chanting Albert. Trouble In Paradise. I wasn’t even slacking off on that match. It was that quick. Wade Barrett attacks him from behind. They explain again downloading apps. Fucking idiots.

Vickie Guerrero presents the Kiss of The Year award to AJ Lee and John Cena. Vickie wants her to explain her actions. She goes full on heel. This turn was predictable but it still wasn’t the right call. AJ kisses Dolph Ziggler. Vickie runs off screaming. Dolph acts like he wasn’t kissing back. Um, OK. Shouldn’t they be a couple if she’s a heel? Get Vickie away from him? The Great Khali is coming to the ring with Natalya Neidhart.

David Otunga gets to job to him. Wasn’t watching the match since the Slammy’s are so much more important. Ric Flair is presenting the Superstar of the Year Award. I would be surprised if my girl hadn’t texted me about it. John Cena wins the award. The grown man holding up the U C(an’t) See Me sign needs to be castrated. Or at least snipped. Cena wants to give the award to Flair? So he can sell it to cover debts. CM Punk comes out. Cena sure vamoosed quickly. Ric Flair takes Punk up on his one legged ass kicking scenario. Punk heads to the ring for the commercial break.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

The picture above is the state of my cable presently. It decided that USA HD wasn’t worth taping either. I turned over just in time to see Randy Orton get the first fall against Alberto Del Rio. He’s burned thru every other possible PPV opponent on TV so why not restart with Del Rio? Dear lord. My cable company isn’t answering their phones either right now. It’s fabulous. Randy Orton wins the third fall. They both continue to tread water. I’m guessing I didn’t miss a whole lot in the first 1:15. I feel better about having watched The Walking Dead instead of checking to see if Raw was recording. Replays are finally worth watching. My girl thinks it quite gross to see John Cena kiss AJ Lee. She’s still doesn’t think it’s a kid’s angle appropriate for PG programming. I am unconvincing.

For some reason, we have a Great Khali vs Epico & Primo match. Hornswoggle is hitting on Rosa at ring side. Hornie has trick flowers. Khali wins. No one cares about anyone involved. Paul Heyman wants balloons. Yikes. Really glad I missed the beginning.

The Miz tries to get his babyface turn off the launch pad with his third Ohio date in seven days against David Otunga. I’m digging Otunga on the offense. I’m still perplexed as to how his mic skills are his worst part of his persona now. Lawler tries to sell Miz because he’s left handed. You could have done more to help out King. Skull Crushing Finale for the win. The WWE shows why I shouldn’t purchase a PPV because they show end of the Big Show vs Sheamus.

More replays fill me in. They’ve given Ryback an extension of this feud with CM Punk by way laying him with three nobodies. Sheamus gets to talk before his match. The crowd is giving him the “What?” treatment. Weird. Don’t fans normally reserve that for heels? Big Show hobbles out to the ramp. Wow, Sheamus gets accused of being barbaric. Both sides seemed wrong. Sheamus is bitching about what a heel did. Show sounds like a giant sissy for calling someone barbaric. Aren’t you building him up as a bad ass? Damien Sandow comes down for his arse kicking. Why is Lawler excited about the Punk celebration? Shouldn’t he be mad at him for being a braggart? I don’t think I’m missing anything. A beard tossing takes us to commercial.

Sandow is in control after the break. My girl is telling me a ridiculous story. I’m so not paying attention to this match. White Noise looks more harmful than Shell Shock. Brogue Kick. Tamina is talking to Vickie Guerrero. AJ comes in to talk to her. Vickie is supposed to be evil. I’m just not buying it.

Layla tells AJ it’s not worth it. AJ storms into the men’s locker room. For some reason everyone is in one room. She confronts my boy Dolph Ziggler. She is a shell of a woman. He’s a dick. Him, I’m buying. She attacks him. Cena makes the save. Ziggler plows Cena thru some obviously weakened partitions.

What the hell, there’s a trainers office? I’m digging the background action. Just looks like people working somewhere. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young get some mic time. We have a cavalcade of entrances with Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Daniel Bryan and Kane. Oh, it’s a traditional tag team match. I figured we’d be having another 8 man tag match. O’Neil is taking up air time but I’m not digging it. Commercial break. O’Neil calls Lawler “Old School” after a wash rag comment. You’ve just made a dozen heart attack jokes. Yes, he’s old. He had a god damn heart attack. Listen to yourself. King is having fun giving a hard time to these guys. O’Neil & Young end up attacking Kane. Sin Cara makes the save. Double 619. People are loving a three peat. Fitting end for PTP. Paul Heyman is talking up the party for CM Punk, to Punk himself. Punk is giddy.

Paul Heyman gets to give the big intro. Punk is going with a self serving promo. It’s not bad but he’s not reeling me in either. Ryback interrupts but gets attacked by Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Punk saunters over to Ryback and raises his arms in victory. Best part of his promo.  -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

So, my internet and cable was down from about 6 PM until 8 PM. I’m pretty sure Baby Momma Drama talked the entire time. I’m starting to think the guy can’t handle quiet. I really should have pulled a Darth Vader and said “Shut up, bitch”. I’m going to keep on typing and talking though. Probably on the audio show too unless Dusty & I can lure Eric out of retirement. Let’s roll.

I started recording a couple of minutes after 8 but I still got the full opening segment. Damn. Mitchell Cool is very punny to start the show. Big Show is in the ring and getting some good boos. Blocking one Brogue Kick means it can’t ever connect. The crowd buys it though. He makes some real sense by challenging Daniel Bryan. I think that was Aksana with Justin Gabriel. Sure, give all the tag teams a hot broad. They have lots of unused of those on the roster too. Give them TV time. AJ Lee orders Bryan into the match. Little kid cut out goat faces. The WWE will whore out anything. The match is over forty-five seconds so is Big Show really redeeming himself? I missed another chunk of TV time when the cable went out. Show is going to win as soon as I start my “second” recording of Raw. I got nothing on the quality of the match. The commercial took up more time than it did. Kane stops Big Show from going for the WMD.

Paul Heyman gets our first extended talking segment. He’s just shilling for CM Punk. We get the answer to how bad Cena’s elbow is. Cool is doing a good job of hyping HIAC. Him heading back to the baby face ledger is helping out. Being beside Jim Ross, JBL or both helps even more. I miss some of Punk’s promo explaining him back fisting a fan last week to the girl. Just when Punk asks for more patience, Vince McMahon shows up in another awful suit. Vince takes away Punk’s choice of opponent.

Brodus Clay and Alberto Del Rio don’t get their entrances. Brodus starts showing off nipple again. Who’s got the screen cap? The kick to the back of the head was so half assed. The arm break that followed wasn’t much better. Cross arm breaker for the win. Punk is talking to Heyman in the locker room. Punk wants to challenge Vince to another match. Santino & Zack Ryder get an entrance before the commercial break.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I had to lead off with one of the more ridiculous things my room mate has ever said to my girlfriend. Really, he has a whole lot of those but this one happened on Saturday. We were getting ready to go see Jim Norton over at the Funny Bone so I was making some pasta and tomato sauce. If anyone has read this column before, you know it’s a regular practice. As the sauce was cooking, I went up to take a shower leaving her down here to keep things in order. Roomie shows up plowed out of his mind (thanks to his brother in law. The one attached to the baby momma and the only reason he’s living in my basement. We’ll get to that insanity some other time.) and tells my girl that he taught me everything I knew about wine. Evidently he invited me over to his place to take informal classes and was taught how to pick my wines. He then decided to give the tomato sauce a little stir and told her “It wasn’t thick enough.” I was told this while we drove to the Funny Bone and I had quite a hearty laugh. I didn’t ever go over to his place for wine classes. I got most of my wine knowledge when I lived near Tuscan vineyards. We actually had a class on it while I was studying in Florence. As for his critique of my tomato sauce, he was correct but that’s only because it hadn’t cooked the proper length of time yet. What a dolt. Let’s roll.

Two referees in two weeks. What the hell is going on in Vince’s world? Is he that stuck on the NFL’s terrible referees? After a brow beating by CM Punk, Paul Heyman does it too. Vince is stuck on the NFL. Their ratings aren’t in the toilet. My girl doesn’t think the short shorts are GM leg wear. I beg to differ. AJ Lee sends him the ref to the back. I am pretty tired of the employees running things in wrestling. Punk re-shows the video of AJ proposing to him. Punk is being a real creep. That’s a good thing. Paul, you’re not going to trump any of those power couples. Just knock it off. Does the board not watch when sexual harassment is going on?

We get more referee TV time. The WWE keeps forgetting how many wrestlers they have on the roster. AJ promises to fire him while looking out into space. I like her acting but still don’t care for the story line of “Let’s fire every GM every show.” We have a Twitter fight turned into a wrestling match. Dolph Ziggler is taking on Kofi Kingston who is apparently still in a tag team since R Truth comes to the ring with him. Can’t someone take this loss to Ziggler that isn’t in a big tag team? From the tweets, it looks as made up as any bad WWE story. All story, little match before the break.

I want to break my lap top when Criss Angel weighs in on Lil’ Jimmy. Kofi is not helping out the quality of the match. Ziggler seems to be a little out of place on some of these moves too. Kofi is one of the few guys who could get the rise out of the crowd that he did since it’s believable he could win. Zig Zag for the win after a couple of near falls. Jim Ross & Mitchell Cool tell us about John Cena‘s injury. He’s going to give us a live update.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Last week, the column was pretty angry after re-reading it. I’m hoping that isn’t the case this week but with another three hours on the horizon. I was amused at CM Punk’s anger in his tweet to Seth Mates:

@SethMates Next Week! Grown ass men will watch a show designed, marketed and targeted for children! Then complain about it!

I didn’t react to it because you can tell he’s intentionally trying to make the internet fans angry at him to get more boos at the arena. I’m not buying it Punk even if I agree with some of the statement. As I’ve continually said though, you can have a children’s show that adults like. I still watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network. It’s well written and the animation (for computer animation) is pretty stellar. Time for some bad children’s entertainment. Let’s roll.

We start with a recap of Jerry Lawler retelling his whole tale involving CM Punk. Not exactly going to help my anger management problem. What is happening with Punk’s hair? Why not shave the top part as short as the rest of it? I wish Punk would have told Lawler he turned his back on the WWE audience from mailing it in on commentary since Jim Ross left. I couldn’t stop staring at Lawler’s pig nose. Why did it look like he doesn’t have a septum? Start off with a challenge to an old guy. Yippee.

So Mitchell Cool tells us how long it’s been since Jack Swagger has been on TV but then expects us to take him esriously as he takes on Ryback? How stupid are these people? At least my girl is volunteering to do the Ryback “Feed me more!” arm swing in the living room. Swagger is sure happy that Ryback dropped him on his head. People are cheering this dumb finisher? Trying to control the anger, more. Oh goody, another Cena vs Miz match. Jerry, this decision isn’t about going to Miami.

Layla comes out to take on Natalya Neidhart. They recap Kaitlyn winning the battle royal last week. Why are they finally trying to build up her up? She got a nice win on Smackdown. Natalya is another good stepping stone. Vickie Guerrero comes down to say something. Layla looked solid and busted out some moves that I haven’t seen before. OK, so Layla gets kicked out of the ring after building her up so that they undo the work the victory just did? I need a mood stabilizer. She insults AJ’s ability to be GM. AJ comes out and attacks Vickie. They are more important than the Diva’s Title.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: