@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

patrick-bateman-new-york– I hate “retirement” style matches since you know it’s a 99.9% chance that the possible retiree, in this case Kurt Angle, will win the match. He’s not exactly a good enough talker to open the show with either. He sounds like a loser by continually saying he’ll prove his worth but losing. Bobby Roode didn’t help pull up the quality in the segment either. Roode’s a mixed bag in that department for me. I’m also not sure why Angle is doing the Christian “One Last Match” gimmick either. TNA either needs to commit to him winning again or going full on with the fall of Kurt Angle. I suppose if he loses this match, that’d be true but I highly doubt it’ll turn out that way.

– I understand Madison Rayne beating Gail Kim but I don’t understand why it was relatively clean. They can now set up a title match between the returning Rayne & Gail Kim since she hasn’t put the belt on the line in a while. The problem I have is that it should be more of a fluky win like Lai’d Tapa costing Kim a match so the heel can deny the loss while building the title match.

– I don’t understand why Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky continue to fight. She was better as a heel with the Beautiful People. She should be allowed to go back to her roots with her heel boyfriend in a slightly tweaked character. Chris Sabin winning back the belt with Velvet’s interference could have helped seal the change in personality but she regretted it while he heeled it up. Yuck. The least TNA could do is make you feel bad for Velvet Sky but they haven’t given us any reason to do so.

Samuel Shaw wasn’t exactly a hit for me with his transfer to the ring character. I like the concept behind him, a Patrick Bateman rip off, but him staring at Christy Hemme didn’t exactly creep me out.

James Storm comes off as a petty bitch in his feud with Gunner. He should be pissed because Gunner isn’t nearly as good as him and is being pushed for no reason.

– You know, I had wondered if Ethan Carter III was indeed Derrick Bateman from NXT aka Michael Hutter from Pro Wrestling Ohio. He didn’t talk in PWO. He didn’t quite make it to the main roster in the WWE. I’m not exactly a fan of this gimmick, but he’s not helping himself out and showing why the WWE would cut him. If you can’t talk well in the WWE, you better be a maestro in the ring. EC3 may be that but you can’t prove it against two months of jobbers.

Bully Ray needs to up the gas quotient if they want me to be concerned about Joseph Park or Ken Anderson being burned alive.

– I like Brad Maddox partially because I think he dresses well. Rockstar Spud is trying a similar style but is failing because his vest always is too close in color to his shirt and pants. Someone should be helping this color blind idiot. EC3 doesn’t exactly dress well either for someone with money. At least he coordinates better with his colors.

– I didn’t read the spoilers so I had no idea Gunner came out during Magnus‘s coronation. Gunner needs to get the threat of using it out there. It was a nice delay tactic for AJ Styles eventual arrival. I do know that AJ Styles drops the belt. I’m not exactly excited to see him on ROH TV. I know this is a different scenario but it is kind of funny that they’re having a belt unification match not that long after the WWE did. Magnus getting a spine and taking the challenge is a good idea to keep his character’s distance from being to Dixiefied. It’s a better separation than Randy Orton has had with the Authority. – Kevin

Amy Weber Nude, Iowa vs Michigan, Knee Injury & Hurricane Sandy Aftermath

I couldn’t find the real deal so I borrowed from TMZ permanently.

According to TMZ, Amy Weber has released nude photos because her lap top was stolen. They were from a Playboy shoot that never made it into the sticky pages under my mattress. You might remember her from her role in JBL’s Cabinet. I had to look it up on Wikipedia to make sure one of my Sippy Time Beers hadn’t dislodged a memory of an average WWE Diva.

According to Derrick Bateman’s Twitter (by way of Prowrestling.net) he is out for an undisclosed amount of time because of another knee surgery. I bring him up because he was signed away from then Pro Wrestling Ohio about five years ago. I haven’t seen him much so I won’t critique his work but isn’t five years enough to know if a guy will cut it or not in the WWE? I know it takes a while to learn the ropes but the time frame seems like plenty. If only the WWE had enough TV time to find a spot for him when he got healthy.

Master thief Joel Luke pleaded guilty to fifth degree theft for swiping the TNA Title and thus bringing great shame to the state of Iowa. He will get two years of probation. If only he could have waited for TNA’s next trip through the state for such an opportunity. He could have stolen the new Jeff Hardy Belt and done all wrestling fans around the country a favor. Yes, even those fans that clearly spend money only on Munchos and Cheez Whiz with backpacks full of Faygo but still have enough government assistance left over to drive to Orlando from Michigan just to see that garbage company.

For those of you concerned about your Friday viewing habits because of NBC’s coverage of a Superstorm Sandy benefit concert, don’t worry, be happy. As of now, you can watch replays of one third of Raw and an hour of Smackdown starting at it’s regularly scheduled 8 PM time slot. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio Show #179

As you may have noticed, Kevin attended WWE Smackdown this past Tuesday. You’re in luck because Eric was around to talk to him about the experience. What information did Kevin withhold about the crowd surrounding him? Was it the same motley crew or was there something different? Did Kevin unleash his bran filled stomach on these people? Eric wondered if anyone from NXT or Superstars so eye catching that they should be on TV. What are Kevin’s superficial reason to see Derrick Bateman and Kaitlyn on TV? They move on to talk about Lilian Garcia and a certain horse faced star in TNA. Did the Peep Show do a good job in helping to move along the storyline between John Laurinitis and Teddy Long? Is Daniel Bryan doing a good job of developing his character? Who didn’t see the match between Cody Rhodes and the Great Khali coming miles away? Hint, not either of your hosts. Did the WWE use their archive to make the feud with Randy Orton and Kane make more sense? Which segments to Eric & Kevin pretty much ignore? Did the final segment work? Did it help keep the Smackdown superstars as its’ main focus? Eric asks Kevin for some final thoughts when Kevin prods Eric into a nasty response. Find out what that and more when you click on the link below.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #179

WWE #Smackdown Spoilers – Cbus Edition

Smackdown spoilers. It's gross to show spoiled food.

So not to be a complete ass with spoilers, I will put Smackdown information below the Read More button. I do think that spoilers for NXT and Superstars is fair game in my estimation. I’ll post my Tweet (if you happen to not follow us @Stuntgranny) then any additional information that I can provide.

Tweet #1. – The parking lot isn’t much more crowded than last year’s #Smackdown I parked in spot 71 #GenoforHart (Post Show: So Geno is Evgeni “Geno” Malkin from the Pittsburgh Penguins. The guy was already my favorite Penguin. Then he decided to hoist the team on his surgically repaired knee and be the top scorer in the NHL. The Hart Trophy is for the best player in the league during the regular season. He’s the man.)

Tweet #2. – I go to my seat just for the beginning #NXT It’s a tag team special. (Post Show: the parking being more crowded did lead to extra people in the audience. Definitely not close to the 18,000+ in Cleveland for Raw.)

Tweet #3 & #4. – The Usos are taking on Darren Young & Titus O’Neil. The Usos won. They looked pretty sloppy themselves. Hm, wonder why they aren’t getting TV time? (Post show: I still dig the haka dance from the Usos but they were worse in the ring than Young & O’Neil. No surprise Tamina broke away from these losers.)

Tweet #5 & #6. – Percy Watson & Alex Riley are taking on Curt Hawkins & Tyler Rex. Who’s the coach in the 2nd group? Reks & Hawkins win after a top rope elbow by Curt. (Post Show: Not sure what to add to this match. Nothing happening for people who have been on the pay roll for a while.)

Tweet #7 & #9 – Derrick Bateman & hot blonde whose name I should remember because she hung with AJ will take on Johnny Curtis & some English chick. Maxine is Curtis’s woman. (Post Show: Thanks to @lecroy24fan who has a better memory, Kaitlyn is the blonde. Maxine was with Johnny Curtis. I should have noticed her too since I watched the Diva’s season of NXT before they went strictly online.)

Tweet #8 – McGillicuty & Tyson Kidd are feuding. Promos break down into a brawl. (Post show: No surprise these guys aren’t on either of the big shows either. I love Kidd’s in ring work but his promos still stink.)

Tweet #10 – I’m just to the camera left of the announcers in the 4th row. We’ll see if I get some TV time. (Post Show: They only taped two segments in my area. I tried to get on. I even pointed at my phone with the Stuntgranny.com home page up. I doubt I’ll be seen despite the proximity to the ring.)

Tweet #11 – Dude beside me thinks Maxine is a man’s name. He’s got to be brain power deficient. (Post Show: His buddy was on of those “Title Belt Guys”. Yikes. Plus, the dude wanted to blow and/or have sex with Santino. He also loved screwing with the five year old in front of us. His mom was pretty hot. anyway, it takes a lot for a twenty something year old to mess with a five year old’s mind.)

Tweet #12 & #13 – Bateman & Kaitlyn pick up a quick victory. Let’s just say Kaitlyn is mildly attractive live. @DustyGiebink I’ll pass along your new number (Post Show: The only person I saw tonight that was hotter than Kaitlyn was one of the waitress’s at Gallo’s. Smoking. The both of them. Sorry Dusty, I didn’t get a chance to pass along your number, or even my own.)

Tweet #14, 15 & 16 – Justin Gabriel is taking on for Hunico with his man servant Camacho. My Kashi Go Lean is wreaking havoc on my intestinal track. Maybe I should let a few rip to clear out my section. Hunico put a thumping on Gabriel. (Post Show: I wreaked havoc on my section later. No one seemed to care despite the fact that I grossed myself out a little bit. I didn;t think Hunico would win. I think both guys have the whole package. they just need someone to get behind them.)

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Smackdown

I haven’t received a call to go out so let’s do a review. It could be a defacto Survivor Series preview. It’s been a long week at the office so I have zero energy to put a story about my life before this review. Let’s roll.

Mark Henry yelled at then assaulted Daniel Bryan who has gotten more quality time  getting his ass kicked by Henry than he has since he won the MITB contract. Nice of them to wear their new shirts. I’ve been working on an article about them and a couple of other shirts. If I get lucky, I can work on it this weekend. They replayed the segment that happened before a commercial break. ADD central. Sin Cara gets introduced.

Vickie leads off after the break. Karen Jarrett needs to listen to this crowd. That’s the response you should be aiming for. Not complete apathy. What, Dolph didn’t get any mic time? I’m calling shenanigans. I need to start drinking for Twitter mentions. I’m three drinks behind. Dolph then gets a cheap win over someone who can’t wrestle. Why is no one from, OK, Mason Ryan helps after Sin Cara gets his ass kicked.

Jack Swagger takes on Mason Ryan for his assault. Nice of the WWE to give Ryan a win going into SS. Ryan’s hair does need to go. His posing was even half assed. Justin Gabriel gets hit on by Alicia Fox. Zack gets a couple of more signatures when Big Show arrives. Big Show angry because of beat down. What silliness. Why does a statement by Henry anger you? It’d make sense if he’d been buddy buddy with Bryan.

Ted & Ted get to talk. The Long variety compliments the DiBiase variety when Aksana arrives. She wants to advertise for WWE12. Long gives himself a pep talk. Christian gets to bitch. His injury isn’t going to last long or they realize Smackdown goes down hill without him. He made it sound like a longer term injury. AJ is checking on Bryan when Show arrives. Big Show angry still. Me must find Mark.

Derrick Bateman debuts against Ted DiBiase. Michael Hutter from PWO debuts. Matthews zings Cole about not filling us in more about Bateman after he fed him.  Bateman is a power couple with Maxine from another NXT season. Ted continues to roll with a win. Pretty expected.

Big Show still angry.  Me knock out Jinder, stare down Tyson Kidd. They replay the opening of the show, of which they’ve already replayed. Show comes to the ring. I was hoping that the Big Show’s favorite footage was going to be him coffin surfing. It’s my favorite Big Show footage. Big show promises to be the new champ then throws a number of cheesetastic punches.

Kofi takes on Hunico, who grabs a mic and starts speaking Spanish. I’ve got no clue. German is not very helpful at times like this. It is useful when you’re drinking in beer halls and gardens in Munich. As much as I hate Hunico’s look, he wrestled better than the real Sin Cara. Cole calls him a proud man. He can’t be wearing that outfit. After the announcers talked up Hunico all match, they lose his credibility by having him lose to Kofi. Another Ezekiel repackaging video.

AJ & Kaitlyn take on Natalya & Beth. Squash match central. This match is sloppy even for a women’s match. AJ looks smooth in the ring but she’s too small. Natalya was pinning herself with the uber Sharpshooter. She would do well to be Bryan’s valet if they keep the nerd label on both of them. I think we’re supposed to be intrigued that Kaitlyn is pissed at AJ.

Rock gets full promo time on Smackdown. I FF. Cena should really bring up the point that Rock mostly does kids movie. He shouldn’t be pissed that Cena courts them. That’s who pays his bills. I catch up to the show before the replay is over. They are loving the intro then go to commercial tonight. Randy Orton is the winner this time.

Sheamus then  Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes, who gets an inset promo. I like him so much better without the mask. The promo was pretty useless. A commercial break happened. Christian is at ring side. He ended up interfering in a nondescript match. Sheamus & Orton house Rhodes & Barrett. Are they really going to have Team Barrett win via Even Steven booking? I want to buy a major pay per view but I’m not excited about the show in the least. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #164- Jeremy goes to Smackdown

Attendance wasn't this bad but it was close.

Yup that’s right two shows in one week. Don’t get used to it since this is pretty much a special edition. Kevin asks Jeremy a bunch of questions about the Smackdown tapings at the Bi-Lo Center in glorious Greenville, SC. What stood out the most? Was it the disinterest from the production crew? Could it be the copious amount of children? Does Jeremy consider children a plague? They actually talk some of the wrestling but then it eventually devolves back in to on site observations. Does trash drive? If so what does it drive? If it rides in a garbage truck is it being chauffeured? All this and more so make sure and listen.

Stunt Granny Show #164

Kevin Nash Meet & Greet for PWO Wrestlelution 4: Overdrive – Kevin’s Perspective

My phone camera sucks more than I thought it did.

OK, to fill in other information that Dan skipped, I’ll pass on describing the venue or our hotel. I will mention the crowd since it’s always good people watching. I’ve seen four very loyal fans there at least the last two years. I could rip on them for a long time but will let that slide to go for my own embarrassment. The son of the group is toothless gentlemen that I mention on Twitter. He got his boxer’s signed by a wrestler that I don’t know. The hard part for me to swallow? He wears a Steelers hat. He gives us a bad name. I’m just saying.

I would like to respond to Dan about his drinking habits. Knowing your limit is something that comes with age. In an older person, they need to know their limit because it wrecks their next day. Rookie old guy drinking mistake my man. I’m glad it didn’t cancel our trip to Melt Bar and Grilled in Lakewood OH. I’d seen it on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. It’s a fancy grilled cheese joint. The wait for seating was an hour and thirty minutes. Dan and I went with take out which was still thirty five minutes. It was worth the wait. I got the Municipal Stadium Magic which had fresh local bratwurst, grilled peppers and onions smothered in cheese. It was awesome. It will be stopped at again next year.

When Dan and I were in line, I took some notes on what Kevin Nash was talking about. Dan mentioned the Ricky Morton interview and though I said I’d limit the repeats, one is coming. Nash seemed genuinely pissed at Morton and that he was legitimately going to beat the hell out of him. See the video clip in Dan’s Perspective. Nash talked about how bungled the WCW Invasion angle was, especially since some of the major players didn’t sign with the WWE at the time. He said that they were going to redo the angle in the new upcoming video game for Raw vs Smackdown. Nash mentioned how Rey Mysterio had been unmasked recently when a clip showed of Nash unmasking him on Nitro. He claimed that he had no idea that at the pay per view six days later (I don’t think he mentioned the name but I may be forgetting it.) Rey would unmask for a lengthy time. (It may have been the remainder of his WCW day but he definitely didn’t say that and my memory is faulty.)

Nash thought that it was a problem that wins and losses are not referenced enough at this time. He said it helps give motivation to the character and person performing even when you know that finishes are determined. He also said it helps to make the character want to go out and win against any given opponent even if they lost to them the match before. You’ve got to have the mental rive to always win. When asked about CM Punk, Nash joked (I think) that since the boss (HHH) might need some help that he’d be willing to supply if Punk stepped beyond just flipping his tie. The last thing that he talked about while we were in line (or maybe just getting out of it) when he started talking about his appearance at the royal Rumble earlier this year. He said he heard the crowd erupt after his horn hit while he was still backstage. Nash said that the first thought that popped into his head was “It’s all down hill from here.”

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: