Viacom, DirecTV reach agreement, I can watch @REALBully5150 again!

According to Advertising Age magazine, Viacom and DirecTV have ended their 10-day-long standoff, with all 26 Viacom stations returning shortly. The dispute was essentially over increased programming fees Viacom felt they deserved – which of course would have been passed onto me, the idiot customer who just “locked in” his rates thanks to the girl at the kiosk at Menard’s – as well as Viacom wanting DirecTV to include the new EPIX channel to its offerings, EPIX being a “hybrid premium/on-demand channel” that will cost DirecTV about “a billion dollars” in fees to air, according to some other article I can’t find but trust me it’s true and I’ll show you my September bill to prove it. (What are the chances that TNA will rehire Elix Skipper, rename him EPIX Skipper, and give him the world title in a total kiss-ass move?)

Anyway, screw EPIX, I can go back to watching TNA Impact Wrestling on Spike TV, and just in time, since everything about the show except the announcing, the crack whore (which one??) and Abyss’ continued employment is firing on all cylinders. T-N-A! T-N-A! -Eric

Viacom may pull Spike from DirecTV, just in time for me to enjoy Impact Wrestling

Is it a) where I do my best thinking, b) where TNA will go if Viacom leaves DirecTV, or c) all of the above?

I feel obligated to link to, even though I saw this story on Magnus’ Twitter account while I was on the toilet: Viacom and DirecTV are at each other’s throats about subscriber fees, and Viacom is threatening to pull all 17 of its cable channels from DirecTV, including MTV, all the Nickelodeons, and, yes, Spike, home of TNA Impact Wrestling. I remember a time when I wished a swift, curb-stompy death to TNA, but the post-Russo era has made for pretty good television and, from what I’ve seen through my neighbor’s window, pretty good pay-per-view. Bobby Roode came into his own as a world champion, Austin Aries is being given a run, Bully Ray became the best heel in the business (after Chris Jericho decided to dry up and die), Hulk Hogan, Sting and Kurt Angle found their roles, and even garbage like Robbie E and Garrett Bischoff have followed their paths back down the ladder.

So of course, what happens but TNA’s home network’s parent company threatens to leave a broadcast platform that offers a couple hundred thousand fans, at a time when a 1.0 rating is a time to celebrate. Oops. This sort of posturing and muscle-flexing happens all the time between networks and cable/satellite providers, but the gray cloud still looms. Hey, Dixie, as soon as you decide to scrap the Claire Crackhead storyline, you might want to give Fox a call. They should remember you.

For more on this story from DirecTV’s point of view, go to their sappy video page here. -Eric

AJ Styles to present Dove Award (??), to be broadcast on channel lower on dial than Spike

Have you ever wondered why TNA stars are never on David Letterman, Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien or even Craig Ferguson? It is because they are too busy with gigs that are reaching a much larger and important audience.

The Dove Awards are the only gospel awards show where white people are awarded trophies and black people hand then the awards. They are like a civil rights time machine so to speak. Oh wait a minute, there is a Rap/Hip Hop award presented, so that makes up for everything else.

So you may wonder what the point of this is; well, making fun of this backwards shit is always fun. Also, AJ Styles will be a presenter during the telecast tonight on the gmc. Upon further investigation gmc, yes lower case to seem really hip, is, well, let them tell you:

America’s favorite channel for uplifting music and entertainment, featuring music and inspiring stories the whole family will enjoy. gmc is the only TV network with every program certified as family safe by the Parents Television Council. gmc is found on DIRECTV channel 338 and DISH Network channel 188 nationally, and many local cable systems.

So there you go. Now, don’t forget to tune in tonight to see AJ Styles present an award to someone you have never heard of outside of the Now That’s What I Call Faith infomercials.  -Jeremy

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