@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 12

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

There have been 9 episodes of Total Diva’s that I have written about and today’s article reaches the double digits. (Kevin’s Edit: Look at the banner lady. You’ve been in the double digits.) Last night I asked Kevin if we could stop watching Total Divas and 5 minutes into the show I realized why. The show lacks on drama and substance. I think watching two kittens play with a ball of string for 45 minutes would be more entertaining than what I had to sit through last night. The entire episode is now scripted, has boring story lines, and I think I’d rather watch paint dry.

When I first started writing these articles, blogs, whatever you want to call them, I thought the Total Divas show was going to show the life of a WWE Diva and their impact in a man’s field. Where showing your skills and working hard to get TV time would help all of us understand the difficulties in making it in the WWE Diva world. What I’ve witnessed these past 10 episodes is that these ladies live a very boring life, so the WWE has to script every scene and create instability within the Diva relationships just to give us a show to watch every week. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone knew the WWE would pump it up but it all seems so set up to create “drama” that isn’t dramatic.) Jojo has become non-existent on the show, Nattie only talks about hoochie Eva Marie and do I need to hear another comment out of Eva Marie on how hot she is? With this being said, here is my next review on episode 10 of Total Diva’s.

We begin the episode with Eva Marie being scanned. I didn’t understand at first why she was being scanned until I saw the figure of Diva Nattie and then understood. Why in the hell are they making an Eva Marie action figure? Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE thinks they have a heel in the making. Unfortunately, she’s unlikable and untalented. Unless you count hotness as talent.) Nattie seemed particularly taken aback by it as well. While Eva Marie is being scanned she said “Let’s make my boobs bigger so I sell more action figures and boost sales.” Of course the only man in the room piped up and said that was a good idea. Once again, Nattie calls Eva Marie a hoochie, we all know that she is, thanks Nattie for reminding us. This is where I knew the show was going to tank and asked if we could just delete it and I could make up my own story line for the blog, but Kevin informed me, that we should just watch the show. So onward! (Kevin’s Edit: The sarcasm about Nattie already makes my choice correct.)

We next have Ariane. She thinks it’s brilliant to get her tool of a boyfriend, or is it her fiance now? who knows, an appointment with a WWE trainer so they could be WWE wrestlers together. What part of this sounds staged? huh. Vincent agrees and goes to the training ring where he finds out that it’s freakin’ hard to be a wrestler and after 1  training day is exhausted and unable to even finish the routine guy is having him do. All the while Ariane is telling Vincent he’s doing good, but on the back camera says she made a mistake for this, really? Do you think so? So on day 2 Vincent once again is too exhausted to go on. Because even though he’s a big dude, it’s cardio man, it’s hard when you aren’t in that kind of shape, and the trainer tells him, he’s not WWE material. (Kevin’s Edit: I remember running Warrior Dash last year. It was hilarious to see these giant bulked up guys trying to run. They had no cardio despite all of the muscles. Vincent is the same way.) I don’t know if those are tears of joy or tears of sadness, but Vincent breaks down. Luckily, he has a backup plan to be a Hooka entrepreneur and open his own shop. Good for you Vincent and thanks WWE for a nice scripted segment for Ariane and Vincent.

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Breaking Down AJ Lee Destroying #TotalDivas

From Facebook.com

From Facebook.com

Jeremy:  so watched that AJ segment again. i don;t understand why they did that. They buried a successful show and in process turned the heel champ face

Kevin:  That segment was awesome & bizarre because of the reasons you listed.
Jeremy:  I understand they want to get a feud going and that makes sense but damn. She didn’t say one incorrect thing. Even heels will distort truth but she didn’t.
Kevin:  I do think that’s the odd thing about the show though. For all of its’ vapidness, it’s one of the better reality shows I’ve watched.
That’s not saying a whole lot but it is giving the ladies a personality.
Jeremy:  I am getting a little worn down. Maybe the formula for those shows is set the players, conflict, resolution. They always wrap up their issues instead of long arcs. So it comes off really scripted. They have personalities then go on TV and have completely different ones.
Kevin:  It’s really tough to keep track of the Funkadactyls because they’re the only ones on the show who have different stage names than their real names.
Jeremy:  The thick one is Trinity? The other one is annoying and too skinny.
Kevin:  That is the other funny thing, I know them by their real names but not their stage names. Ariane is the lighter skinned, smaller one. Trinity is the darker skinned, booty having, Uso dating one.
From WWE.com

From WWE.com

Jeremy:  Cameron? Naomi is Trinity? But look, who cares cause, well, Trinity….delicious.
Kevin:  Yes she is.
Jeremy:  Of the women on the show she is about the only one to even consider dating. Natalie would be fine if you liek pushovers.

Kevin:  Nattie would be fine but you’d end up hearing her say “Put it in my Hart Dungeon” and I’d go limp.
Jeremy:  As long as she meant that ass I am fine with it. I do admire how all of the men on the show are doofuses excpet for the main eventers.
Kevin:  Do you consider Jon Uso a main eventer? He seems fairly likeable. Every other guy though is an idiot.
Jeremy:  He has been OK and no chance he is a main eventer, I just meant Cena and Daniel Bryan
Kevin:  I didn’t think he was in that category but had to ask since he’s been fine. Cena has gotten more time or is more vocal than Bryan so he’s turned me more.
Jeremy:  Cena has been the star for me. he steals every scene. Him essentially telling Nikki to slow down was classic.
then he teaches her Chinese as well as giving her essential life lessons that a nine year old could give.
Kevin:  Kind of says something about their parents that they didn’t get a lesson a nine year old should learn
Jeremy:  Part of me hopes this is all a set up and the end of the season she dumps him or he gives bad advice and it all blows up.
Kevin:  She’s not going to break up with him so option 2 is a possibility.
Jeremy:  Yeah I had those backwards. One other important part of the AJ Lee beat down last night and you touched on it in your Raw review is that the Bellas were terrible. I kept commenting how AJ is right there get to walking broads. Instead all they did was screech from ringside. It was embarrassing.
Kevin:  “Come say it to my face.” How fucking dumb. That’s reserved for when they do the promo from satellite or back stage. Hell, even if AJ would have had Big E standing behind her it would have made more sense. But he wasn’t and she was on the damn stage. I about died from laughter when you texted the comment about them skipping after the beat down.

Jeremy:  Yup no Big E
Kevin:  That isn’t even a half assed response. It’s not a response.
Jeremy:  Have to think that was on purpose as well, she’s standing on her own with it. I am not even giving the Bellas a pass even though the other three just stood there.Show some god damn emotion bitches
Kevin:  At least the baby faces looked disgusted and waved their hands at her as in “Get out of here, we’re wrestlers too” so even though it was a weak response, it was a better than the Bellas.
Jeremy:  I am not sure giving the “talk to the hand” motion really qualifies as better. Nattie had somewhat of a smirk on her face but that was about it.

Kevin:  Anything is better than dancing “ring around the posies” style after getting a verbal beat down. It’s not even a good response but it’s better than dancing.
Jeremy:  That was douche chill inducing. Then it made me think of The Bellas interfering in a match using a duck call or something?
Kevin:  I don’t remember that if it happened. Wasn’t quite sure of the Bellas & Eva Marie’s outfit choices but they did stand out and have some style.
Jeremy:  Well Eva Marie will stand out based on her hair and height. Her heels prevented her from skipping which made that scene just awkward.
Kevin:  I wish I would have re-watched it just to catch that. Eva does look like a stork out there compared to the rest of the lot.

Jeremy:  She looked like a Waterpillar out there with the Bellas dancing all over the place
Kevin:  I may have fallen over laughing from the stupidity of it all if she started doing the sprinkler dance as they danced around her.
Jeremy:  It isn’t exactly her fault but she should have been more prepared. I figure they were having a good life or a healthy cringe during that.,
Kevin:  They all should have been more prepared.
Jeremy:  Isn’t the rule of live entertainment “Always be prepared”? I am still chalking it up to a lack of talent.
Kevin:  Yeah, I’m thinking that’s why the WWE isn’t featuring them. The whole division blows.
Kaitlyn deserves better than the usual scorned woman schtick but I’m pretty sure she’s not the next Trish Stratus.
Jeremy:  I was wondering why AJ and Kaitlin were not on the show. Aksana as well, get the international flavor.
From Fanpop.com

From Fanpop.com

Kevin:  How dare you forget about Rosa! But it makes no sense for them not to use the whole division. Rosa, Tamina & Layla, with a possible late arrival of Summer Rae would have gotten all of the division on the show.
Jeremy:  Oh wow. yeah forgot about her, that cast would have made the show so much better.
Kevin:  Only thing I can think of is that they thought too many “characters” would be on the show if they did the whole division.
 Jeremy:  No I meant excuse the entire first cast outside of Trinity of course. I suppose there is always next season.
Kevin:  The WWE doesn’t like to renew shows that are doing well like NXT so this one will probably get cancelled too.
 Jeremy:  Well the ratings dictate a renewal but it is on E! so may be out of their hands.

Finlay is Gone

From PWI:

WWE RELEASES TOP BACKSTAGE NAME
By Mike Johnson on 2011-03-29 12:45:38
World Wrestling Entertainment released their top Producer/Agent Dave Finlay yesterday, PWInsider.com has confirmed.
The story making the rounds is that The Miz was booked to come out an interrupt the national anthem during a house show in Champaign, IL over the weekend. There were a number of representatives for the national Guard, who are a HUGE partner and sponsor for WWE, in attendance. Obviously, they were not pleased with the anthem being used to get heel heat.

When word made it’s way back to WWE management, the decision was made to release Finlay, who as the top Producer of the show, “had to fall on the sword”, as it was described to me.

There were a lot of shocked people within the company today as word began to make the rounds among the wrestlers and staff. Finlay was well liked and more than a few people I spoke to hoped that it was a situation where he was let go only to be brought back down the line.

Finlay, a third generation wrestler, had been with the company from 2001 and was considered the top Producer backstage, with Arn Anderson directly behind him in the line of command. Finlay had long been given credit for the rise and improvement of the WWE Divas division over the last decade. He worked for several years behind the scene for the company before returning as a wrestler in a full-time role as well in 2006, mostly to help introduce the Hornswoggle character and work with younger talents that needed help in the ring. WWE had quietly retired him as a wrestler last year when the decision was made to go with younger faces on the television product.

Finlay had been wrestling since 1974. He was considered one of the top heels in Europe in the 1990s and also toured New Japan Pro Wrestling. He finally made his way to the United States during the Monday Night Wars for WCW as the “Belfast Bruiser.”

I would be willing to bet he’ll be back by the end of the year. – Dusty

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