Jeff Hardy guilty, gets jail time and massive fine; TNA smells like rose-scented roses

"MMM, DRUGS!"

According to Prowrestling.net, TNA star Jeff Hardy pleaded guilty to three felony drug charges in Moore County, N.C. today.

Hardy pleaded guilty to two counts of intent to distribute a controlled substance, and one count of conspiracy to traffic in a compound containing opium.

Seriously, people still do opium? What is this, a basement in the ’50s? Anyway, it’s obvious that members of Hardy’s “inner circle” love drugs, so it’s not hard to imagine that he was going to distribute them in some way. According to one North Carolina indy wrestler, that way is by throwing huge parties and offering everyone with two nostrils a little bump. (According to me, that way is putting pot in his brother’s gigantic stack of brownies.)

The consequences here are 10 days in jail, a $100,000 fine, and 30 months of probation. Ten days in jail is easy when the wrestling company you work for tapes two weeks’ worth of TV in two days; the $100,000 will be easy to come by since Matt has made two lifetimes’ worth of money (just ask him, he’ll tell you); but the 30 months of probation will probably turn Jeff into a ticking time bomb. If this backwoods shit head could go 30 *minutes* without licking a toad, I’d eat my hat. -Eric

Jeff Hardy returning to Impact Wrestling?

Apparently being Hardyless is too much for TNA so they are bringing Jeff back? According to his Twitter handle , @JEFFHARDYBRAND, this sure seems to be the case.

Ok it’s official…time to go back2work!I will be in Huntsville,AL this Thursday with ImpactWrestling!!!!

Now look, eventually a punching bag loses its sand and you have to replace it. The easy thing to do here is bash TNA for bringing back Jeff in the face of all of his continuing legal issues. Couple this with the fact they just fired his brother for being a slovenly waste of money and it just seems like piling on, doesn’t it?

According to Kevin

TNA is just making sure he doesn’t get in any more trouble.

Heavily drenched in sarcasm of course, but is anyone else just exhausted by TNA’s poor decisions? Typing this post is draining enough. Do you realize how hard this is to come up with vague mentions of possible drug use and stupid behavior? Has anyone considered that we post news on the Hardys just because we have to? No one with at least 1% discernable taste in anything that isn’t total trash gives a shit about these guys now, but yet here is yet another post.

So TNA is bringing back a potential felon and fired his tub-of-butter brother because he “impaired himself” and drove his Corvette into a tree, only a few weeks after their buddy decided to drink and drive and wreck his motorcycle, fucking up his life as well as the life of his girlfriend.  Clearly we are talking about people who have all of their shit together. Yeah, we all make mistakes, but constantly making them is just tiring to write about.

Wait, this just in: No one gives a shit about Shannon Moore and his fucking book. Enough already.

In review:

Jeff Hardy: Felony rap pending. In no shape to perform and wrestles a five-minute PPV main event. Still has a job with TNA.

Matt Hardy: Lazy-eyed dolt who was suspended from TNA for being a gravy riched nothing. Gets drunk and runs Corvette in to a tree. TNA fires him.

Greg Helms: Fired by WWE. TNA shows no interest. Wrecks motorcycle while drunk.

Side note from Eric:

Do you think these guys drink out of jugs with ‘XXX’ written on the sides? Or does Bacardi Trash mixed with Mountain Thunder taste better mixed in a classy plastic cup?

Shannon Moore: Who gives a fuck. -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio Show #145

I luvs me the twittetube!

Because we’re not always interested in the wrestling week in and week out, we decided to cover the topic of social media and wrestlers’ use of it. This topic was too big for just two men so Eric, Jeremy and Kevin joined in the fray. We start off my talking about how odd it is that two icons, the Ultimate Warrior & Hulk Hogan, from our childhoods are having a cat fight by way of social media whether it is Twitter barbs or Youtube diatribes that have distracting back grounds. The guys further the conversation by wondering what the end game is for some of these wrestlers. Do they do it to placate their egos? Are they doing it just to get their characters over? Do they think there’s a pot of gold at the end of the social media rainbow? The boys close out the show by talking about the social media firestorm that they were directly (we think) involved with, the Jeff & Matt Hardy tasing video. Kick back with more social media in your ear holes!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #145

Plea Bargain Thursday? I’m afraid not, Miss Fishborne

So today was supposed to be Jeff Hardy’s plea bargain sentencing. However, it ain’t be goin’ down like that, as my homeboy brethern might say. According to the Observer site:

After both sides had agreed to a plea bargain case in the drug trafficking case involving Jeff Hardy, which was to be heard today, one side or both must have changed their mind because in court today a continuance was asked for because the sides had not agreed to terms.

The case will next go before the court on 2/16. 

Oh, that’s just great. He can be sent up the river on my birthday! Quite the present for ol’ Dusty! As a side note, Jeff Hardy’s a nut! He’s crazy in the coconut! – Dusty

So how will Jeff Hardy celebrate the one year anniversary of his drug charges?

Awww, don't be sad. You'll be as bloated as Raven in no time!

By pleading guilty, naturally. From Meltzer:

Hardy set to plea bargain on drug charges      

A short Associated Press story this morning said that Jeff Hardy is going to plead guilty in court on 1/20 to drug charges, listing the Moore County District Attorney as the source.

There was little detail in the story, regarding exactly what would or would not have been worked out in regard to dropping of charges in exchange for a plea bargain, or the nature of the sentencing.

Hardy had one court hearing after another postponed for more than one year after a September 2009 raid of his home where police found 262 Vicodin pills, 180 prescribed Soma pills, 55 milliliters of anabolic steroids, cocaine residue and drug parahernalia.

It was not known which side was the source of the continual postponements nor whether this release is face-saving for the D.A., or for Hardy.  The answer will come if/when actual charges are dropped and the nature of the sentencing.

District Attorney Maureen Krueger said that Hardy’s lawyer, James Van Camp, informed the judge he wouild plead guilty at the hearing but would not comment on the nature of whether the plea bargain would include dropping of charges or avoiding jail time.

Hardy’s attorney has not commented on the story.

But it is not good news for TNA to have its reigning world champion pleading guilty on drug charges.

Who is dumber in this situation? Jeff Hardy for doing drugs? Or TNA for making a known drug addict their World Heavyweight Champion? 11 months and counting… – Dusty

Jim Neidhart Headed To Pee Pee Soaked Heck Hole

Jim Neidhart is def in some trouble. Cleaned up version of Meltzer’s scribblings:

James Henry Neidhart, 55, is being held in jail in Tampa as of this afternoon after being arrested on multiple drug charges this afternoon.

Neidhart is being held without bond, charged with possession of 95 OxyContin pills, 28 Methadone pills, two counts of possession of controlled substances with intent to distribute, two counts of trafficking in illegal drugs, 1 count of burglary of an unoccupied dwelling and one count of grand theft third degree.

Neidhart was arrested at 2:50 p.m. today at the University Community Hospital.

Neidhart will be on TNA programming within a month. I guarantee it. – Dusty

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