Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Last week, the column was pretty angry after re-reading it. I’m hoping that isn’t the case this week but with another three hours on the horizon. I was amused at CM Punk’s anger in his tweet to Seth Mates:

@SethMates Next Week! Grown ass men will watch a show designed, marketed and targeted for children! Then complain about it!

I didn’t react to it because you can tell he’s intentionally trying to make the internet fans angry at him to get more boos at the arena. I’m not buying it Punk even if I agree with some of the statement. As I’ve continually said though, you can have a children’s show that adults like. I still watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network. It’s well written and the animation (for computer animation) is pretty stellar. Time for some bad children’s entertainment. Let’s roll.

We start with a recap of Jerry Lawler retelling his whole tale involving CM Punk. Not exactly going to help my anger management problem. What is happening with Punk’s hair? Why not shave the top part as short as the rest of it? I wish Punk would have told Lawler he turned his back on the WWE audience from mailing it in on commentary since Jim Ross left. I couldn’t stop staring at Lawler’s pig nose. Why did it look like he doesn’t have a septum? Start off with a challenge to an old guy. Yippee.

So Mitchell Cool tells us how long it’s been since Jack Swagger has been on TV but then expects us to take him esriously as he takes on Ryback? How stupid are these people? At least my girl is volunteering to do the Ryback “Feed me more!” arm swing in the living room. Swagger is sure happy that Ryback dropped him on his head. People are cheering this dumb finisher? Trying to control the anger, more. Oh goody, another Cena vs Miz match. Jerry, this decision isn’t about going to Miami.

Layla comes out to take on Natalya Neidhart. They recap Kaitlyn winning the battle royal last week. Why are they finally trying to build up her up? She got a nice win on Smackdown. Natalya is another good stepping stone. Vickie Guerrero comes down to say something. Layla looked solid and busted out some moves that I haven’t seen before. OK, so Layla gets kicked out of the ring after building her up so that they undo the work the victory just did? I need a mood stabilizer. She insults AJ’s ability to be GM. AJ comes out and attacks Vickie. They are more important than the Diva’s Title.

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Stunt Granny Audio #194

Despite their advanced ages, DX still knows how to have a good time.

We’re back to a two-man booth this week, but what a two man booth! Kevin and Dusty join forces to delve into the top news stories in pro wres, giving you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They talk about WWE’s use of the legends and how Heath Slater’s fits into the scheme of things. They talk about AJ and how WWE uses the General Manager position has a crutch in their litany of bad booking. And just how much fun was DX’s appearance? Too much fun! Dusty just barely made the show because he had to go to the emergency room to get his sides put together after they split. And so much more, and you’re going to have to listen to find out what it is!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #194

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Review of @WWE #Raw1000

As Jeremy so eloquently put it, tonight starts my descent into madness. No, not the Aurora variety madness but the kind that makes me want to throw my lap top against a wall kind of madness. Tonight will likely be a very good, packed show. The writing will fall apart after tonight though. As for the poll below, I voted for “It doesn’t matter, the title was rendered meaningless long ago.” I’m not sure it was a long time ago but I had been long harping on the meaninglessness of the IC, US, Tag Team & Women’s Title. For some reason, since main event level guys held the belt, I didn’t think about it being meaningless. It is though. Mostly because as another choice point out “It doesn’t matter, John Cena is basically “the champ” anyway.” So, CM Punk may be merch champ and putting on spectacular matches, but you can tell the WWE doesn’t really favor him. Or even Sheamus. Enough editorial, time to do it during the review.

And just so you know, this is our 1850 post. Beat that WWE! We get a retrospective of Raw. It was a nice enough video package. Vince McMahon comes out first. I didn’t listen to his special email message that he sent out. Why is the chairman introducing Degeneration X? I’m guessing everyone else on the internet asked this question. They’re rebels who don’t, aw, you get it right? Even the video package accompanying their entrance seems lame. Shawn Michaels acts out of breath and really stupid. HHH checks for his underwear too. They introduce Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X Pac. Gunn & Michaels get cutesy with another line. Damien Sandow interrupts the proceedings. You aren’t going to save us. We’re going to get this dreck for the rest of the three hours tonight and in the future. What did I type earlier? This episode would be fine? I’m taking that back already. They still have two words for us. Yuck. Time to get drunk.

I miss Jim Ross coming out because I wanted to get cake for my girl. Wink, wink. Rey Mysterio comes out before he can say a word. He’s teaming with the botch machine Sin Cara. Sheamus is on the team too. We can’t have too many matches tonight so let’s have huge tag team matches! Chris Jericho is still a heel by being on their team. Dolph Ziggler is out the chute next then Alberto Del Rio. Then a commercial.

Ziggler starts off against Sin Cara. Oh, by the way, no animosity between Mitchell Cool and Ross. Stupidity central. My vote is Jericho costing Ziggler and his team the match. Looks like Ziggler is going to cost Jericho the match. Sheamus wins with the Brogue Kick. Not much of a match. What? JR is only calling one match? Fuck off WWE.

Why an I watching these dumb videos? I still don’t care about Tout. Charlie Sheen is hosting from Las Vegas. I’m glad he can Skype so we can plug something else. I buzzed through the replay of AJ & Daniel Bryan from last week. AJ then gets to talk to Layla. Of course dumb shit is happening outside of their locker room door. Kill me. The hand is grown up. Shouldn’t it be half black? Mark Henry was the father.

Sonic gets pimped. Why would wrestling be important during the 1000 Raw? Jack Swagger gets to lose to the Funkasaurus. Another match that doesn’t matter. Shazam app. Clay gets to introduce Dude Love. Splat was an accurate description from Cool. Swagger gets the Mandible Claw with the mandatory gullet use. Trish Stratus gets to talk yoga to HHH. We’re supposed to laugh again. We don’t.

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Weekend Updates – DX, Bill DeMott and Ted DiBiase

Just in case like myself, you like to disconnect from the internet from time to time, especially on the weekends, here’s a small review of what huge, gigantic, spectacular, who am I kidding, mundane news came across the internet.

According to Prowrestling.net, Bill DeMott has become head trainer for WWE developmental. One would think it’d be great to keep your head trainer on TV with Tough Enough that most of the wrestling community liked, unlike the WWE’s current on air product. From what they’ve shown on TV, he looks like a good trainer so good luck to him and his trainees.

Also from our favorite source of news, Degeneration X will be making an appearance on the 1000th, 3 hour Raw. I feel sleepy even typing that. I could give two shits less. It’ll be more pageantry since Shawn Michaels seems to be sticking to his guns and remaining retired. HHH is saving his big moment to take on Brock Lesnar. So there’s a solid chance he makes a reappearance at this how and interrupts this huge, gigantic, spectacular, who am I trying to kid again, this crappy, done 92 times too many reunion.

One last snippet from Dot Net from this morning, Ted DiBiase (Jr) is going to be back in the ring in about a month. I do love to end an article on some huge, gigantic, spectacular, oh, you get it at this point. -Kevin

Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Angles

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Angles. Here are last year’s inductees:

Hulk Hogan joins the NWO, Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon – WWF 1998, Junk Yard Dog blinded, Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart – WWF 1993, Big Boss Man/Big Show/coffin angle, Ric Flair retirement 2008, Brian Pillman works WWF/WCW/ECW 1996, DX invades WCW, Megapowers form – WWF 1988, Randy Savage vs. Jake the Snake – WWF 1991

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

Hart Foundation vs.USA, WWF 1997

 The Four Horsemen form, break Dusty’s ankle

Big Boss Man/Al Snow/Pepper

Ric Flair retirement angle, WCW 1993

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, WWF 1987

WWF title vacated, leading to Royal Rumble to crown new champion, WWF 1991-92

Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair, Christmas 1982

Sting is kicked out of the Horsemen, WCW 1990

Bob Orton wears cast

WrestleMania 27 Review: The WWE Hall Of Fame

So the Stunt Granny crew went to The Hall of Fame inductions in Atlanta. Turns out the event is actually a pretty good time and it flew by. Who got zero heat at the event? Who got the loudest pop of the evening? Is it possible to silence an entire audience without saying a word? Listen in to find out just why Abdullah The Butcher never uttered a word in his career. Find out why Brad Armstrong should have never uttered a word in his career. Find out how Triple H still manages to be a total d-bag yet humorous enough to endear himself to the Shawn Michaels-sympathetic crowd. Also, who sat next to who, who had hot wives, and so much more, just one click away!

WrestleMania 27- Hall of Fame

WrestleMania 27 Preview #8- Undertaker vs Triple H

And we wrap up WrestleMania 27 coverage with The Streak versus, um, well, nothing. Yep, all the pomp and circumstance around this match and only The Undertaker has a lot to lose right? How does WWE do a credible job of convincing the audience that Triple H stands any chance at all? In fact, does he stand a chance of being the person to end the streak? Is the streak a name brand item now?  If so, can it actually be broken and thus lose out on the potential money at stake? As always tune in, especially since this is the last one before the wrap show.

WrestleMania 27 Preview #8- Undertaker vs Triple H

Past WrestleMania 27 Preview Audios
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Randy Orton vs. CM Punk
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes
The Two Matches To Get People Bonus Money
Edge vs Alberto Del Rio
The Miz vs. John Cena
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

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