Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Fat-Guy-In-A-Little-Beach

That was the champion of Ring of Honor after his Ladder War with El Generico who I thought signed with the WWE after this match (I got no idea why. He’s tall but that’s it.) and he hasn’t been on ROH TV for the rest of 2012 except in highlights at the top of the year. Kevin Steen could barely beat a bean pole who hasn’t wrestled all year. I almost forgot to mention Kevin Kelly comparing this rivalry to classic sports rivalries. When I’m not aware of a feud, it’s not that epic, Kevin. Quit ruining a great name. Then just for icing on the cake (Probably extra thick for Steen), he laid on a ladder like a beached whale. Stay classy, ROH. Let’s roll.

Vince McMahon is cramming so much crap into this show, he doesn’t even get a ring entrance. Good lord, he’s blowing himself. At least he has a good suit on this week. Hard to go wrong with black with white shirt. Howard Finkel could have been a better hype man. Big Show is making his pitch. Vince goes for the title fat joke. Nice. Damn, three man booth even if JBL is awesome. Big Show going kind of racist. Alberto Del Rio (along with a very windy Ricardo Rodriguez)  gets to join the circus. Del Rio is a dip shit and puts his title on the line. It’s Dora The Explorer for wrestling fans when they chant in Spanish.

For some reason, Randy Orton is fighting Wade Barrett again. These guys have done battle too much in the recent past. Commercial. Let’s see if I catch up tonight. Hard doing a fantasy hockey draft while doing the column too. Holy shit, I was not paying attention to this match because I figured Orton would win. Instead, Barrett wins clean. Color me shocked.

Booker T lays the Smackdown on Eve Torres before her match. Teddy Long is their for moral support. I guess she is gone after tonight. I don’t get the use of the Diva’s. They spend the last 6-12 months building her up into the biggest Diva of right now and they let her walk? Now we get our Kane & Daniel Bryan segment with Doctor Shelby. They give us a psychology lesson when Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes show up. Not their best segment. Kane takes on Sandow after the commercial break. Kane wins in another match that doesn’t matter.

Mick Foley is introduced as the first nominee in the WWE Hall of Fame. Good deal. The Shield comes down before Foley can go anywhere. Ryback, Randy Orton & Sheamus make the save. Okay. Ryback makes a good stance on the conspiracy and not being concerned about it. Feed Me Shield. That is way too shoe horned.

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#WatchROH – Aired 14 April 2012

Short shorts for a short show.

I’ll start off by saying that the first twenty five minutes on my DVR were an infomercial. That’s how much Fox thinks of the 5:00 PM time slot on Saturday. It’s more valuable than the wrestling show they signed to make TV. Wow. So this review won’t be full. It’s a show from Show Down in the Sun. The Briscoes are taking on some Australians in a proving ground match. I didn’t feel like deciphering how Nigel McGuinness said their names. Hastings and Nichols are their last names. For all I bitch about Kevin Kelly, I do understand him all the time. They pulled off a cool tandem DDT. Kind of a toss from a fireman’s carry position into a DDT. Briscoes turn it around in an instant but can’t get a three top with the frog splash top rope elbow. Doomsday Device for the Briscoes victory. I’m fine with the result but I would have liked for the heels to take more of a beating before the loss.

They come back with highlights from Davey Richards vs Eddie Edwards vs Roderick Strong. Edwards got eliminated first. Kevin Steen interrupted the Borders War press conference. They do the same schtick. And it’s still stupid for Jim Cornette to try and protect a bad ass champion. Jim explains that he’s been protecting Kevin Steen. ROH will be ruined with a Steen victory. That promo did nothing to make me not think this angle, at least the Cornette part, better. Eddie Edwards is being challenged by Rhino. Eddie knows that Truth Martini is trying to block him from title contention. Edwards said he’s going on a safari to hunt some rhino. I’m fine with his character.

El Generico comes out for his revenge match with Kevin Steen. Shouldn’t you wait until after this match to show the last segment? Not that I ever thought Generico had a chance in this match, but considering Steen challenged Rcihards for the title. Generico starts out a house on fire and before they can be introduced. Steen took over and strangled Generico with a Canadian flag. Generico used the spare ring rope under the ring. Interesting. Kevin Kelly is selling the point of Steen winning to get the title shot. Your announcer just showed how bad the ordering of your show is. Good brawl so far, which is good for a revenge match. Commercial break.

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#WatchROH – Aired 17 & 24 March 2012

They showed Adam Cole pinning Davey Richards. Richards shakes Cole & Eddie Edward’s hands. Kyle O’Reilly refuses to shake. Kevin Steen is going to be Davey Richards personal nightmare until he gets a match against him for the ROH Title. Adam Cole comes out for March Mayhem Eight Man Tournament. Cole had a backstage promo. He’s mad at O’Reilly for not respecting him. He’s going to make O’Reilly respect him. Chris Silvio is his opponent. I’m ready for a squash match. Oh my lord, Kevin Kelly compares Silvio to Jesse Ventura & “Superstar” Billy Graham. I just vomited on my lap top. Kyle O’Reilly does his best to make the announce booth sound even worse. Cole wins a Florida Key which is a criss cross dragon suplex. Not an impressive outing. O’Reilly stormed out of the booth for storyline reasons but it should have been because it was a poorly executed match. O’Reilly challenges Cole to a match at Showdown in the Sun. Cole accepts.

They recap Jimmy Jacobs vs Kevin Steen. Hilarious that Jacobs is rehabbing from being evil in ROH & being evil in PWO. Kelly gets to interview Kevin Steen. He is carrying a tennis racket that has Davey Richards on it. Steen talks about destiny. He’s just as boring as Alberto Del Rio. He will be ROH Champion despite Jim Cornette‘s attempts to kept him away from the title.  Cornette shows up. Cornette tells him that his opponent for Friday night for Showdown in the Sun. El Generico is his opponent. Steen said he won’t be dumb enough to get himself suspended by using the pile driver.

Lance Storm cuts a promo from his gym. He said he isn’t out of shape and will be ready for him. He said Mike Bennett doesn’t have the passion to be in wrestling. They try to make the promo more interesting by shooting him from multiple camera angles. It doesn’t work. Davey Richards knows how tough his three man match will be against Eddie Edwards & Roderick Strong. If he wins that, he takes on Michael Elgin. Richards said if he gets out of that weekend with the title, he’ll have earned it. DemBoys said everyone in this match hates each other. The chicken shit is going to hit the fan in Florida. Charlie Haas tells the Briscoes that they’re dumb. It’s a grudge match so when this match is over, their feud is.

Evidently everyone pays in and wins a pot of money for the March Mayhem. Four matches lead to a four way match. Winner of the four way wins the cash. They love having money on everyone’s mind. We get replay of Jay Lethal versus Tomasso Ciampa. The match went to the time limit. Ciampa attacked Lethal and stole the TV belt. Roderick Strong with Truth Martini takes on Jay Lethal in the first four way match. Counting in English reminded Kevin Kelly of El Generico’s return. I think he’s locked up worst announcer in wrestling with tonight’s showing. Congratulations on unseating Mike Tenay’s several year reign. They go to commercial before much has happened.

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The Ongoing Saga Of Sean Waltman

I am very happy that he had a good weekend, as I had a good weekend as well. A weekend filled with WCW shows from 1994, old clips from Howard TV, and chop suey. On the real real, it’s nice to see how good his penmanship is after all the drugz. – Dusty

Steen VS Generico Has A Badass Promo Piece

Ok so apparently this is Video Clip Tuesday here on Stunt Granny but this is a badass piece of work. ROH, yes they still exist, is finally getting to the end of the El Generico/ Kevin Steen feud at Final Battle. The video clip above is a promo for their match. This is probably the best piece of video ROH has ever produced. I was just floored watching such a professional piece of work come from this promotion. Yes they have come a long way after being on HDNet but still, wow. This makes me want to actually see this match and with how cheap I have become (Ok broke) that is saying a lot. It also helps that these two as a team were awesome so them going against each other should, should be good. It has been kind of ho-hum so far and now there is a chance that they can live up to this hype? Unfortunately, this promo won’t be seen by a lot of people but for those who do, you are in for a treat. -Jeremy

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