3MB is now a One Man Band, Baby!

Heath Slater

I’m sure localbozo.com doesn’t care if I use his screen grab.

I suppose this is what you get when you cannot handle the Shield for the boss? WWE has released two more competitors (see, keeping with WWE protocol) as Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre received the bad news today.  So just like that the fourth strongest faction in WWE has been destroyed.

WWE sure seems bent on breaking up their factions outside of The Wyatt Family so far. Seth Rollins turned on The Shield. Evolution saw the departure of Dave Batista. Now, they couldn’t break them up so they had to fire two-thirds of the Three Man Band.

Out of the three members, (Hornswoggle doesn’t count as he is a mascot) Jinder Mahal was the blank slate. He never caught on. His only shining moment came on Total Divas when Eva Marie mispronounced his name. Maybe that should have been the first hint that you needed to do some extra work to be a household name for WWE fans?

Drew McIntyre is a weird case of being elevated much too soon and then falling off. He may have sabotaged his chances by fighting with his wife, Taryn Terrell, a few years back. Taryn was arrested after the “domestic incident” but the damage was done. His push ended and he disappeared. If you can’t keep your woman in line you aren’t going anywhere in WWE. You cannot place the WWE in a bad position or you suffer the consequences. Even divorcing  the woman will not matter. His career in WWE never recovered but he certainly made the best of his spot in 3MB. He stood out while Jinder faded away.  Let’s be frank here, no one is going to overshadow heath Slater.

So all the best to the both of these men.  Seriously, good luck out there. -Jeremy

Total Divas – Season 2 – Cabo – She Said (He Edited)

givesugar.com

givesugar.com

Having watched two back to back episodes of Total Diva’s, I sit here typing with a terrible headache. Should I attribute it to having to cram in two Total Diva shows in two days? As much as I’d like to say, yes, I’ll have to say, no, and try to pull my thoughts together to get through this review.

We’ve all been to bachelor / bachelorette parties, but in no way have I been to a swanky bachelorette party in Cabo San Lucas, MX. Wow! This episode focused on Brie’s bachelorette party and a bit about Trinity. We’ll start with Trinity first.

At the end of Red and Gold, we saw Trinity get injured in the ring. Cabo starts off with that same segment. Trinity doing her thing in the ring and then getting kneed in the eye. Trinity finishes the match and wins. Trinity heads straight to the back to the doctor who tells her she needs to go to a specialist. We see some gruesome photos of Trinity’s eye and a supportive and sympathetic Jon. Trinity wears an eye patch but after a few days, she goes back into the doctor who tells her that a bone is broken and there is a lot of fat around her eye, but that it should heal in 2-3 weeks. Trinity is obviously excited as she is in the height of her career and wants that Title belt.

Summer Rae approaches Eva Marie about Cabo. Since I can never understand what Summer Rae says as she can’t seem to open her mouth all the way to enunciate words, I’m not sure if she asked Eva if she was going to Cabo or if she was invited and wanted to know if Eva was going. Either way, Eva tells her that she will have all the fun for Summer as Summer has burned way too many bridges. Eva walks away and hilariously enough, Summer asks a random girl standing there if she is going to Cabo then walks away.

It’s Brie-mode time. Getting off the plane, there is a bar for ‘soda’s to go’ which Nattie, Nikki and Brie take advantage of. (Kevin’s Edit: How dare you forget they were called road sodas! Opie would be disappointed.) Driving up to the rental for the bachelorette party, Nattie starts talking about swimming with dolphins, board games and building a sand castle. I’d have to say, that all sounds fun to me, but alas, the girls say ‘NO”, it’s Briemode and get your drink on. The rental is stunning. So open and beautiful, each Diva has their own room. That is pretty swanky, along with a gorgeous pool that overlooks the ocean. Personal servants bring them all the drinks they want which is pretty awesome. You have a scene of scantily placed bikini’s and some ass slapping, which was weird for me to watch, but I’m sure the guys out there were wiping drool from their faces. (Kevin’s Edit: Other guys will need to speak up. I’m not exactly a big fan looks wise of  these Divas.)

Nattie and Nikki are out in the pool alone and talking about John and how Nattie bets her Divaship on John asking her to marry him. Nikki blurts out that she was married before. This obviously throws Nattie and we find out that at age 20 Nikkie married her high school sweetheart in Vegas with Elvis. They were married 3 years and she said she got an annulment. Brie comes out and gets slightly upset because she is the only one who knew about the marriage and now Nattie knows, and we all know Nattie can’t keep a secret. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone has that friend who can’t keep their yapper shut. Nattie has nothing of interest to tell about herself so she needs to gossip.)

The party continues into the night and we see Eva Marie trying to have a good time, but also looking a bit stressed. We find out that Eva Marie is a recovering Alcoholic and right before she got hired to the WWE she ‘fell off’ the wagon. She tries to hide the fact she isn’t drinking, but it eventually becomes way too much and she ends up leaving the group upset and going home. Ariane tries to stop her but Eva just tells her she doesn’t feel good and is going back to the villa.

The next morning Eva comes clean and tells the girls that she is a recovering alcoholic and she can’t have just 1 drink. The girls support Eva and it becomes an emotional circle of Nattie, Brie, Nikki, Ariane and Eva Marie sharing their emotions and their issues. I actually felt it was quite touching and definitely took away from the Brie-mode. It was a slight buzz kill, but it seemed like the girls didn’t mind. (Kevin’s Edit: I have no idea why she struggled with telling them especially in a setting you’re supposed to get hammered in.) I did have to laugh though when Nikki told Eva that the ones you hate the most are the ones that become your best friends, I don’t think so, but whatever, she’s a Diva.

We end the Brie-mode with swimming with the dolphins. Nattie got what she wanted and was very happy. I actually thought that seemed like a cool idea. (Kevin’s Edit: I would be down for swimming with dolphins. It’d be way more fun to be in a shark cage though.)

At the end of the episode, Nikki decides to tell her family that she was married before. Her father is OK with it. I found it odd he was there as I thought they didn’t like their dad? (Kevin’s Edit: He was there? Shows you how much I was paying attention. They didn’t like him though.) And her mom was a bit surprised after how close they are that Nikki didn’t confide in her. Nikki’s brother went off though. He said he was really pissed and stormed off. I didn’t understand his anger as he isn’t the one who was married and divorced and he also should be supportive and not a child. That entire scene was stupid. Nikki leaves as she feels unwanted in her brother’s home and is now worried what John will say when she tells him. (Kevin’s Edit: Are we sure the brother isn’t gay after that reaction?)

We see in the preview that it’s time for Brie to get married, it’s Wrestlemania, and it concludes with Nikki’s brother telling John that Nikki was married before. Oh boy, part 1 of 2 of the season finale. Maybe I’ll have to write one review for the season finale as I find TV is getting a bit more crazy with making a 2 part season finale, what happened to the cliffhangers from back in the day! (Kevin’s Edit: I promised on big reviews so let’s just do it that way.) – M & (Kevin)

Total Divas – Season 2 – Episode 7 – She Said (He Edited)

Steve Thoms - Field of Red and Gold - nonprints.com

Steve Thoms – Field of Red and Gold – nonprints.com

I have to say, this episode actually had some character to it and felt like some of the show wasn’t scripted. But alas, I’m sure I’m wrong about that. I have found it interesting that they pick and choose the shows characters on who is going to be on each week. Before when the show first started, everyone was on the show at the same time with special brunches and lunches, but now it’s like they are deciding who is going to have the bigger story line or most on camera time, why would they not though since it is a WWE production and half the time wrestlers go missing for weeks and then return all of a sudden. (Kevin’s Edit: I can’t say I had thought about the shift in focus but she’s right on both points. It happens on the regular roster too. Why not make Total Divas the same way?)

Anyway, this past episode focused on Nattie, Brie, Nikki, Summer Rae, Eva Marie and Ariane. Hmm, who should I start with first? It’s all a train wreck, so I’ll start with the most annoying in this episode which was Ariane. Girl Bye! Is all I want to say to this horrendous story line. So Ariane has a single coming out called Bye Bye. She wants free publicity so her and her man, Vincent drive to a paparazzi area to get photographed. After leaving the dog in the car and remembering a short time later that the tiny dog was in the car, they were on their way for free publicity. But alas, Kim Kardashian ruined the free publicity by being in a restaurant near by. Ariane pulls out the ‘friend’ card and behind Vincent’s back, calls Ray J. He is a singer and had a terrible dating show on VH1 at some point. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m trying to figure out if my woman doesn’t know about the Ray J and Kardashian sex tapes or not. I mean, I wouldn’t know him except for that so she gave me more information than I had.) Ariane and Ray J go to work out so the paparazzi can take lots of pictures. This scene was terrible as they were putting them in all kinds of awkward positions pretending to ‘wrestle’ in the gym and having an MMA trainer. Can the WWE think of anything more stupid? So the pictures get posted, they ask about her and Ray J, but he’s just a friend of the family, and Vincent gets all pissed off. But alas, at the end of every segment, they are OK after Ariane apologizes at her singles party for Bye Bye. (Kevin’s Edit: I agree with her analysis. Ariane is the most unlikeable character on this show. She does as little as possible and expects attention for nothing. There’s a reason they didn’t play the song much during the show.)

I in no way would have ever thought Nattie was a talented painter. Ha! Nattie and TJ killed me this episode. Nattie painted a picture of John and Nikki. She is straddling John in the painting. When Nikki takes the painting out of the box with Brie on the phone, she says “I’m wearing a diaper and I have a claw for a hand”. Nikki decides to hide the painting but when Nattie comes over to visit, Brie informs Nikki she has to put it out on display. Nikki takes it out of the closet and puts it out for her. Nattie is thrilled the painting is out and how pretty the frame matches their interior of the home. I was just laughing. (Kevin’s Edit: It was strange to me that the frame of the picture did fit in with the decor Nikki put it near. I don’t like gold unless it’s the yellow (Pirates/Steelers) or Vegas (Pens) variety.) So Nattie decides she wants to do something just as personal for Brie and Daniel’s wedding present and hand deliver it. So we get a glimpse of Nattie working on Brie and Daniel’s wedding portrait with dog included. TJ comes into the room and without saying it, says he doesn’t want anything to do with the painting, it’s all Nattie. She is so excited about the painting and fixes Daniel’s nose, giving it more texture. (Kevin’s Edit: Tyson Kidd showed personality for the first time ever.)

TJ makes Nattie carry the painting to the car as he again reiterates, he wants nothing to do with the painting. Predictable, their full sized has been changed to an economy car. (Kevin’s Edit: I had this happen recently or else I’d scream set up. I had a full size become a compact and a compact become a full size. Too bad we had the compact with four people.) The painting obviously doesn’t fit. Nattie decides that the stadium isn’t far, so they can just tie it to the roof with her panty hose, work pants and tape. Ha, ha, ha. And yes, as predicted, the painting flies off the car into traffic. They tie it again to the car and take off. Nattie approaches Daniel and Brie and takes the painting out of the box. Brie and Daniel have no idea what to say and Nattie continues to rave about the imported frame while TJ just stands there. When Nattie leaves, Daniel and Brie both agree to not hang the painting. Daniel comments that his nose looks like a male body part. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m not as prim and proper as her. They look like balls, if you like to manscape.) Brie doesn’t look anything like Brie. Poor Nattie. You can tell stuff like that takes a lot of time, but I know, I would never paint something like that and give it to someone. I know they say that it’s the personal factor that counts, but sometimes you just need to give a gift card instead. (Kevin’s Edit: She’s not even a good painter. Nattie, take some lessons or stop.)

Our final Divas are Eva Marie and Summer Rae. So the WWE wants to give Eva and Summer a chance to be a tag team and it is christened Red and Gold. They love it and decide to work out together to try out moves and a routine. Eva does comment that she got pulled out of NXT faster and that Summer has a lot more experience. This is noted when they begin working on their routine and Summer gets fed up because Eva acts like she has no idea what she is doing. I just wonder if she really has no clue or if it’s another ploy by the WWE to get us to think it’s a good story line. (Kevin’s Edit: Eva is a terrible wrestler. She was booked with a “We can get free advertising from Maxim” rocket attached to her back. The smart plan would have been to make her a valet but that’s just for Lana.) Eva looked like she was trying to not know, but it all just seemed a bit awkward. Summer Rae gets pissed and Eva says she just doesn’t have much time, which throws Summer into saying she is more busy than Eva. So the night of the match comes and Summer runs to Mark and tells him that she doesn’t think Eva is ready so he adds a 3rd into the tag team match. In the interim, Brie has told Eva to watch out for Summer because it’s all about Summer and stepping on those to get to the top. Touche! (Kevin’s Edit: Summer has been unlikeable until this moment. You shouldn’t want to team with someone who is that bad. Why the WWE thought this idea was a good one will remain either a mystery or a way to create this storyline for the show.)

The match comes and they have the big girl that looks like a man with them, I think Tamina? Sorry, can’t remember her name. (Kevin’s Edit: You’ve heard it from me enough. Now we just need to get the Snuka part in there.) And Summer only tags in Tamina and never Eva. Eva has her hand out there trying to get into the match and Summer never lets her in. The match finally ends with Nikki, Nattie and Brie winning. After the match Brie approaches Summer and she tells Brie that Eva just isn’t good enough and doesn’t want to look bad. Brie runs and tells Eva and Tamina tells Eva that she has to stick up for herself and not let Summer run all over her. Eva Marie confronts Summer and Eva informs Summer it’s not the Summer Rae show and she is no longer in her corner and Summer Rae will now be 100% alone. (Kevin’s Edit: This part is where I start calling Bravo Sierra. Six women went to the ring without going over what was going to happen in the match? Try to sell me a different lie.)

At the conclusion of this episode we see Trinity’s injury in the ring and her being escorted out by the doctor with all the Diva’s standing there wanting to know what has happened.

So, you know what the next write up will be about. Trinity. Will it be good? Will Nattie decide to make a painting for Trinity at the height of her career? Will Summer Rae be able to make it on her own, or will she turn to Fandango for comfort? I’m sure none of this will happen as it will be another scripted show and a lot more brain cells dying. Thank goodness I saw a Season Finale for Diva’s the other night. But with my luck, I’ll still be reviewing these shows when the next season starts. HA! – M & (Kevin)

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Part of what we did this weekend.

Part of what I did this weekend.

I’m just finishing the preliminaries from UFC 173 before I do this show. I didn’t spend much time indoors this weekend so that’s what happens when you go Yard Crashers style on your place. Happy to get the work done but feeling it too. I wish it were a four day weekend. On another note, we have big announcement and we’re ramping up to it so you may see some extra content on the site this week and going forward. Time to do this show up right. Let’s roll.

Stephanie McMahon comes out and tries to be condescending about Daniel Bryan. I’m not sure there’s a performer who I switch on disliking and liking more than Steph. HHH gets the mic so that he can talk up the Evolution versus The Shield feud. Brad Maddox comes out for a brow beating or a firing. They bring out Kane to attack Maddox. After being choke slammed and Tomb stoned, Maddox gets fired. As much as I like Maddox, they weren’t giving him TV time. Maybe he can move up to the pre-show booth. (Next Day Note: Congrats to Maddox on getting both of my suggestions along with beaten up.)

Cesaro is taking on RVD again. Before the match can start, Bad News Barrett shows up. According to Barrett, we’re going to find out we’re all fat. Barrett busts out an Indian Summer reference. I didn’t realize they still use that term. RVD gets in the offense early but Cesaro takes over right before the break. Cesaro has now added the Guerrilla Press to his arsenal. RVD gets in Rolling Thunder but only gets two. RVD hits the senton off the top rope. RVD nails the plancha. Barrett goes after RVD but gets super kicked. Another thrust kick leads to a split legged moonsault. RVD with the tilt a whirl kick. Barrett distracts RVD. Cesaro German suplexes RVD for the win. Sheamus sprints down to the ring and Brogue Kicks him. So can this feud help the US Title? Sheamus could chase after losing this weekend.

Eva Marie is in the ring with Nikki Bella. That’s a little weird, right? Summer Rae comes out alone. She falls for the boot adjustment trick. Summer keeps slamming Eva’s face into the mat. Fandango shows up with Layla El. Isn’t this supposed to happen to a good guy? Eva Marie rolls her up for the win. Summer screams in the ring. (Next Day Note: Though I don’t have hate for Summer Rae like my woman, there’s no reason to feel bad for her losing this match.) Randy Orton & Batista are talking when Cody Rhodes & Goldust show up. Cody really delivered with the trash talk. We get a match between the four men later. Batista complains about the skinny jeans comment and HHH responds “You just have big legs.” Ha.

El Torito is coming out for a match against Drew McIntyre. Both clown cars are at the ring side. Ouch. That slam had to hurt. McIntyre goes for a superplex when Los Matadores try to interfere. They get attacked By Heath Slater & Jinder Mahal. El Torito pins McIntyre after some shenanigans. El Torito gets attacked by 3MB. El Torito has to pretend like the fake tail hurts when it’s removed. (Next Day Note: Can a get a showing of hands on whether it matters I didn’t have the winner to this match listed last night? Didn’t think so.)

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#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 4

hawaii-beach-homesoahu

The April 20th episode was definitely an episode I didn’t think I’d witness. I actually felt like it was a bit more heartwarming than any other episode that they have filmed, though, it could be because Summer Rae wasn’t in the show at all which totally helps and there wasn’t any drama at all. Granted, there were still some completely ridiculous scenes which involved Nattie and TJ, but other than that, I actually felt for the first time the Diva’s really are normal people with everyday issues, in which you can semi-relate to on a woman’s level, so I’m sure any guy watching the episode was like, this was a stupid chick show since there wasn’t much boobs and skankiness showing up. (Kevin’s Edit: Just imagine me moving my head up and down.)

We’ll begin with Nattie and TJ as it’s the most ridiculous part of the show. So Ariane and Nikki find out that Nattie doesn’t know what Doggie Style is. Nattie get’s pretty flustered at trying to get around it but in the end, Ariane calls her sex therapist to see if she can help for Nattie and TJ. (Kevin’s Edit: I had forgotten about Ariane’s repression since she’s been hard to find this season outside of the Eva Marie pics.) Nattie says she is to busy to go see her, so she comes to their house. Upon questions about their sex life, she asks how they first got together, Nattie doesn’t seem to remember but TJ remembers the moments, really? (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t remember when I first said “I love you” to the lady. No way he remembers that.) So the sex therapist says they need to ‘sex up’ the house. She tells them different role playing to do in the different areas of the house and awkwardly suggests they leave the front door open to have sex in their entry way. (Kevin’s Edit: I suggested it in more open places.) Nattie of course declines this idea. Nattie does think this could work as Ariane and Vincent do seem to be happier since seeing the therapist. So, as we get to see in the ‘black and white footage’, Nattie has TJ be a burglar and Nattie dresses as a skanky school girl and she has TJ break into the house through an open window. I laughed out loud at this one, good gravy!(Kevin’s Edit: It was killing me she used an old outfit from a WWE shoot.)

Eva Marie hasn’t been feeling well. I feel like this story line pops up when they aren’t sure what to put into the show. Well, this time, Eva Marie’s husband, insert name I forget here (Kevin’s Edit: You think I remember this tool bag’s name?), rushes her to the hospital as she says her stomach is huge and she looks about 6 months pregnant and is peeing blood. I have to say, that is not a good sign. The doctor says she has a cyst that ruptured. I am going to wonder about this as I’ve had numerous cysts and they rupture when you have your period, they don’t normally make you pee blood. The swelling in her stomach is extra fluid, and then on a private call from the doctor (HIPPA restricted) we find out that Eva Marie has an abnormal uterus and may never be able to have kids. Eva freaks out thinking her husband is going to go nuts cause he wants lots of kids. She finally tells him and breaks down. I actually have to give the schmuck credit in this episode for being very understanding. (Kevin’s Edit: I know I called him a tool above but he didn’t make the switch to non-meat head until helping her out as much as he did.) The worst thing a woman can be told is that she won’t be able to have kids, if she wants them. I don’t see Eva Marie as a ‘mom’ but who knows down the line. So Eva’s husband calls her Mom and her mom is really ‘frosty’ on the phone throwing it back in Eva’s face that she deserted her family to be with her husband, but then her mom says they will fly out. So her parents come, this time they don’t hide his stuff, and the parents and her husband find a truce and the dad and schmuck embrace, which is totally camera acted. (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE knows when to end feuds people don’t give a care about.) It’s hard to say what is real and what is fiction in this story line, but I felt most of it was really true. Would I want to share that on TV? No way! But I guess some people don’t mind airing their laundry for a buck.

Trinity and Jon decide it’s time to get married. They have been together for 5 years and engaged for 2. Trinity really wants Jon’s dad to be there, so at Old School Raw, they approach Rikishi after his match and they tell him that they are getting married in Maui in a few days and want him to be there. After a weird silence, he starts to get emotional and blames it on the match and then says he is so happy and will be there. This makes Trinity very happy as she wants the entire family on both sides there. They rent this gorgeous place on the beach where they will stay and have the ceremony. The night before the wedding Jon’s dad is still not there. Trinity starts asking if she’s the reason he’s not coming. Jon is very quiet and then finally tells her ‘no’ it’s because he got another gig and decided to do that instead. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m just throwing this out there because I haven’t heard an official statement from Rikishi but when you don’t attend your son’s wedding because he’s marrying a black woman, it means your a racist. White people aren’t the only ones who can be racist.) Ouch! There was talk of if he wasn’t coming because Trinity is not Samoan, but Jon says that is not the case. Jey is there with them and this is the 1st time I’ve ever heard him talk but he has some very kind and encouraging words for Jon and Trinity which is very sweet. The wedding day comes, no Rikishi, Trinity’s dad cries and Trinity looks gorgeous. Jon and Trinity are both moved by the ceremony (which I don’t think is something you can just fake) and they are now married. As they walked down the aisle as man and wife the chant of I say Uce you say O going on which was silly but fun.(Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t stop laughing that of all people the Usos could be close to, it was Drew McIntyre who I think started the chant. The guy is even a tool off camera. The Usos need to pick friends that are further up the WWE food chain now that they won the tag titles.)

In the end, the show was pretty good, probably one of the better episodes I’ve seen since this show aired, but I’m sure it definitely won’t last long as I’m sure Summer Rae is getting ready for a come back at some point to add drama and nauseating skankiness to the show. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 3

I love to read. I read because I’m able to escape from the everyday routine of life and get absorbed into either a thrilling storyline filled with lots of adventure and intrigue or I get engrossed in a storyline filled with lots of laugh out loud humor and peppy characters. (Kevin’s Edit: Lady, I provide laugh out loud humor every day of the week for you.) When I think of reality TV, I think of, terrible acting, mundane story lines, and just eh TV. This is exactly what Total Diva’s brought this week. Half way through I contemplated turning off the show and just pretending to finish the article with how I thought the show should end, but alas, I watched a completely boring 42 minute episode in which I wish I could have been reading.

This episode was all about Nattie, Nikki and Trinity. I think slutty Summer Rae only had a minute in the show along with Eva Marie.

We’ll start with Trinity this time around. To no shock at all, Trinity has made a pop song and was filming a music video. Not surprised since Cameron already did a song and Trinity’s dad is a musician. The song is complete and it’s now time to film the video, but her outfit isn’t done. She get’s so upset because the rhinestones aren’t on the back of the outfit yet, that she takes her 1 piece rhinestone suit and says she will finish it herself. Well, she called in her Uncles and they managed to pull an all nighter and got it done. (Kevin’s Edit: Trinity mentioned that she had been up for nearly 2 days when filming the video. I stayed up 70 straight hours to finish a project in school then had to wait several hours for a once a week evening class that I was determined to get to. When I went to dinner before the class, I attacked my hoagie with a spork. My then girlfriend sent me home. That was a good plan.) While shooting the video, it ripped. Unsalvageable. Then, to make matters worse, the Police show up because there is confusion with the permit. Now the director is upset and is trying to get this finished! Alas, like every TV show, everything ends happily. Brodus hears the song and says he wants to send it to his contacts, and name drops Snoop Dog. Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: I must not have informed my lady that Brodus was one of Snoop’s body guards.)

Our next  Diva is Nikki. We find out in this episode that she is now a real estate agent. Huh. I would never have seen that coming. Anyway, she gets the opportunity to show a home with a fabulous ocean view. She calls John and tells him how fabulous the view is and how much she loves the house. It was definitely an awkward showing and the people left. (Kevin’s Blog: I’m not surprised she was terrible. The WWE has never shown faith in their mic skills. Looks hot twins!) John comes to visit and all of a sudden he’s being mysterious and lying about where he is and taking abrupt phone calls and on the computer and quickly closes it when Nikki walks in. She obviously thinks he’s having an affair. All I can think about is, is she really that stupid? Can they make it any more obvious? So Nikki calls him out on his supposed cheating, he doesn’t deny it. She goes to show her house again that she is truly in love with, John shows up and we find out all the sneaking around is him moving funds so he can buy her the house and he will move to California. I’m pretty sick of these 2 already because it’s stupid how she loves a house so much that he just buys is for her. Is he going to buy her EVERYTHING that she says she loves? (Kevin’s Blog: You know you’re still with me because I’m your Sugar Daddy.)

Nattie is our final diva this week. In the previous episode Summer Rae hit her across the face and now Nattie has to have surgery on her nose that will make her be out of work for 6 months for healing time. She tells Summer Rae, who she faced first after finding out the news, to stay away from her face during their match. Summer Rae doesn’t, Nattie gets pissed and kicks Summer Rae’s butt in the ring. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m positive I have told her wrestling is fake.) She decides she isn’t going to give up the TLC match, so she takes the chance of hurting her nose even more. TJ explains that it’s better to take care of yourself and all will be OK, but she doesn’t listen and takes on the match and causes more of a problem for her face. (Kevin’s Edit: Nattie toughed out another Diva’s Title loss.)

I’m not sure if I missed something or not, but as you can tell by the short recap, it was a very dull and uninspiring show. Could the WWE make it more interesting? Yes. Will they? No. Because why would they try to showcase the hard work the Diva’s put in when they can just put them in skimpy outfits, give them terrible scripts to pretend to be real about and create as much drama as possible so more people will tune in. It’s amazing how much they are making off of this disaster. All I can say is, Total Diva’s will never be readable material, and I bet sometime soon, the WWE will come out with some kind of Diva book and they will make another crap load of money off another dull project.

One more episode to go to be caught up. When is this series over? I can only keep my fingers crossed it will be very soon! (Kevin’s Edit: Hoping thi show goes away is akin to me hoping Raw stops being 3 hours. It’s not happening.) – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Season 2 – Episodes 1 & 2

From mbpopart.com

From mbpopart.com

Tonight I have witnessed a train wreck. I felt so dirty, I had to take a shower when the show was over. I’m pretty sure I no longer have a working brain due to all the stupidity that arose from the episode. Due to too much on the dvr, we have decided to do She said He edited at different times to get different reactions. When I told my boyfriend all my brain cells died with this episode he laughed and said it would all be OK. (Kevin’s Edit: I laughed because you were being funny. I hope it translates into the article.) He has yet to watch the episode, so after he does he will understand my disbelief that they actually air this crap and that 4 million people actually take the time to watch it. (Kevin’s Edit: I gave her bad math. It was only 1.39 million people that watched it. I’m sure she won’t feel much better about my error.)

I can only write about the current episode that I watched as I am 3 weeks behind. But will quickly recap in each article. JoJo is gone and skanky Summer Rae is now on the show. I’m not sure who is worse. Summer Rae or Eva Marie. It’s like watching a bad porno with that fake blond hair and god awful red dye job. It was made obvious in the 1st few episodes that no one was going to like Summer Rae and she was placed on the show to make more drama for everyone, so I’ll save her for last. (Kevin’s Edit: More drama = more eyes.)

We’ll start with Eva Marie since the season ended with her and she was getting married, maybe, to her loser boyfriend. Well, no surprise here, but she did and did not inform her family. Her family came for a visit and she moved her husband out so there would be no trace of him. Huh, interesting way to start a marriage. Well, the family figured it out, they were pissed, but yet, who is calling the kettle black here since her brothers are living with women and are not married. So that just kinda ended. (Kevin’s Edit: I found her calling out her brothers hilarious. That subject did get dropped awfully quick.) Then photos popped up from back in the day and Eva Marie said those were a mistake and should have never been done. Creepy Fandango made a weird comment to her that made my skin crawl. In this past episode, Eva Marie and Summer Rae have become besties and are traveling separate from everyone on the bus because of the photo incident and because no one likes Summer Rae. She was the one that told Eva Marie about the photos. Even though Eva Marie thinks Summer Rae stepped over the line in episode 2 with Brie, they will still probably continue being besties for at least a while.

Nikki and John Cena got back together on the pier. It wasn’t as cheesy as the very first episode when they tried to reenact a scene from The Notebook, but who walks down a pier in high heeled shoes, a skin tight red dress with boobs popping out and a fur? Oh, Nikki Bella, that’s right. So John said he made mistakes and that he wants to try a lot harder. Nikki forgave him and all is well with the world. So far. Nikki did lose a tooth in an episode and she thought she looked hideous so refused to ride in the bus with John and tried to avoid him. Not the best decision when your relationship is on the line. In this past episode Nikki tried to be the support for Brie as Summer Rae made a play for Daniel Bryan, Brie’s then fiance. (Kevin’s Edit: She just asked him a really weird question about getting his approval. She didn’t seem to be coming on to Bryan to me. I do want to know who she slept with.)

Speaking of Brie, she thought it would be a great idea to rent a bus, like Nikki and John have and have everyone ride with them to split the cost. Bryan was not enthused with this idea as he is an environmentalist and those busses take up a LOT of gas and energy. But Brie got her wish and TJ/Nattie, Jon Uso/Trinity, Summer Rae, Eva Marie and Ariane all rode on the bus with Brie and Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: She got her wish because those other people were brought onto the bus to make it more “Green”.) Bryan made a few ‘house’ rules, no sex on the bus and no pooping on the bus. Well, both of these rules were broken as Nattie pooped on the bus and John Uso/Trinity almost got it on on the bus, it was broken up by Brie. Brie, the most sensible I think out of the group, ends up blowing her top this time around when Bryan tells her that Summer Rae sought him out and told him that she cares what he thinks, then made a flirtatious movement touching him. Because Nikki told her what Summer Rae did with John and some of the other male wrestlers, (hearsay of inappropriate comments), Brie went nuts and hunted down Summer Rae. Brie pretty much told her to never pull someone’s man aside alone and told her to stay away from Bryan. Summer Rae accused Brie of being insecure in her relationship, which caused Brie to go nuts and told Summer Rae pretty much that she is a skanky ho. Touche! All the while Bryan, Eva Marie and Nikki listening. Eva Marie agreed that Summer Rae crossed a line. Bryan told Brie that she is very protective of her man. (Kevin’s Edit: It’s pretty bad when Eva Marie is the voice of reason.)

You don’t have much going on with Ariane in the past few episodes. She was the one that found the photos of Eva Marie and showed them to everyone. She did try to apologize but Eva Marie has yet to accept her apology. I do think Ariane has a point, Eva Marie is very good at making it all about her and how fabulous she is getting the covers on magazine and getting a Mattel doll so early in her career. Ariane’s beef is that she got a cover too but no one seems to care. (Kevin’s Edit: Eva Marie does seem like a spot light hog but Ariane is the other drama queen who got trumped by Summer Rae. I’m surprised every guy hasn’t looked for skanky photos of (insert new Diva here) because there’s a 90% chance they exist.)

We find out that John Uso has a huge sex drive in this episode and can’t seem to keep it in his pants for 4 days while traveling on the bus. Trinity is OK with adhering to the rules, so she obviously feels bad when the get caught in the act by Brie on the bus.

Nattie has serious issues with Summer Rae. Whether it’s because they are both blonds, I’m not sure, but Nattie seems to despise her. In this episode, Nattie does try to take the high road and tell Summer Rae that she needs to be more respectful to the Diva’s and that she is making a display of all her skankiness. When the new Mattel dolls are out Nattie is thrilled and Summer Rae walks up and tells her that they did a good job at photoshopping her and that she used to look pretty and thin. This obviously upset Nattie who told Summer she needs to cool it. (Kevin’s Edit: Summer Rae is an excellent shit stirrer. I have no idea if all of these actions have led to her not being on TV now.) I think the best part of this past episode is when Nattie goes into the bathroom on the bus and starts screaming. First TJ goes in to the smallest bathroom in the world and comes out, then she calls for Brie. Come to find out, Nattie was putting Icy Hot on her ‘back’ when she got some Icy Hot in her butt and in hoo haa when she went to the bathroom. Where exactly she was putting the icy hot is still in question as she first said back then changed it to inner thigh. Hmmm. Either way, this is when we find out she pooped on the bus and got Icy Hot in her butt. Ha ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: I would imagine that Icy Hot burns similar to when I pooped out Scorpion Peppers.)

I leave the most skanky and the newbie for the end. Summer Rae. Man is she ugly. I thought Eva Marie was unattractive, but I think she has competition with Summer Rae. Summer Rae is a hateful woman who thinks she is better than everyone else. Being Fandango’s dance partner, yet being from NXT, she is now considered a Diva. Well, I see why Layla is now Fandango’s partner as in this past episode Fandango told Summer Rae, he didn’t need drama for his career, and this is exactly what she is doing, stirring drama. (Kevin’s Edit: I obviously don’t read ahead while making these comments. Summer Rae is a butter face but those legs make up for it.)

Summer Rae is the one that told Eva Marie that Ariane had the photos of her. Summer Rae is telling everyone that if Nattie spent more time on her wrestling and less time talking gossip then she may have won the Diva’s championship more than once in her Diva career. (Kevin’s Edit: I agree with Summer that Nattie is her own worst enemy. Just keep mentioning that you’re a Hart and eventually they’ll give me a long title reign, right? Maybe Nattie should work on the promo skills.) Summer Rae believes that she is gorgeous and is upset with her wardrobe and wants to be even sluttier than what she wears with Fandango and Summer Rae made a play at Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: Have you ever seen a dance competition? All the ladies are dressed slutty.)

So at the end of this train wreck of an episode, Summer Rae hunts down Nattie’s house, goes to the door uninvited and proceeds to tell Nattie that she needs to spend less time gossiping and more time focused on her career. She pretty much tells Nattie that she is an old, fat, unattractive Diva that isn’t worth anyone’s time. Nattie tells Summer Rae she is a ho. Summer Rae slaps her across the face. Nattie pushes her off her property and tells her to NEVER step foot on her property again.

After watching this episode, I needed a sedative. This episode was filled with so much cattiness and egos that I was just dumbfounded that I watched 42 minutes of stupidity. I honestly think that there were more brain cells saved watching Jersey Shore than watching Total Divas, at least this time around. I explained to my boyfriend that it was a cruel punishment for me to watch this show as I could have spent the 42 minutes doing something productive, but he informed me that he was sure I didn’t lose the brain cells that I thought I did and since I was still mobile and mumbling about a train wreck that I would be fine. (Kevin’s Edit: I lose brain cells when I’m researching for my Sippy Time Beer articles, not this show.)

Here’s to 1 Diva Show and article down and 2 more to go to get back on track. I’ve seen the previews for the next episode and no shocker, another train wreck is on the way. Will the WWE one day actually have good writing for the Diva show or will it always be this horrible, guess I’ll just have to tune in and lose a few more brain cells to see.– M (& Kevin)

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