Stunt Granny Audio Show #172

The show gets off to a rousing start when Kevin stumbles onto pictures of Rosa Mendes. Him and Jeremy talk about the tag team titles changing hands at a house show, the quality of tag team wrestling in general and of course Evan Bourne. How dumb can one man be? Who thinks he should take a stand? Will he ever earn back the WWE’s trust? Jeremy & Kevin move on to talking about Daniel Bryan. Is the heel turn working? Is AJ a good addition to his act? Another experiment talent for the WWE is Dolph Ziggler. Who could be his opponent at Wrestlemania? Are the guys getting ahead of themselves? They continue talking Raw by discussing the dynamics of CM Punk’s feud with John Laurinitis. Is John as Wooden as Kevin claims? Did Punk do something this week that he hasn’t done in a while? Does it help Punk when he acts like an arrogant ass that no one should root for? Jeremy & Kevinwind down the show with Kurt Angle’s preposterous claim. Will he really be at the Royal Rumble? Is there a good reason to bring him in? Just how bad are the movies he’s been in? Find out that and more by clicking on the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #172

WWE suspends Evan Bourne yet again, gives him 60 days to smoke synthetic pot and watch kung fu movies

Yep, that's two strikes, dummy!

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE has suspended Evan Bourne for 60 days for his second violation of the Wellness Policy. Word around the campfire is that Triple H really doesn’t like (or probably more accurately doesn’t *get*) Evan Bourne, but Stephanie McMahon sees something marketable in him and wants to keep him around. So on one hand, you feel bad for the guy who gets over despite not being a steroid-laden, brittle 260-pounder and who gets targeted by the bodybuilding mark.

On the other hand, hey dipshit, I know you like weed, but you JUST GOT SUSPENDED for this nine weeks ago! Look, we all know it’s fun to get high; kids should do it early and often so they can understand benefits like hallucination and time-travel, plus increase their appreciation for frozen pizza. But when you’re willingly and energetically letting it cost you your job, there’s only one person to blame: Yoshi Tatsu, for not pissing clean for you. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Raw

The Frozen Diamond Face Off between Ohio State & Michigan at Progressive Field in Cleveland.

I hope you had a good weekend. I did in the fine city of Cleveland. I had some fantastic beer at the Market Garden Brewery (St. Emeric’s Stout was the best. The Pearl Street Wheat was a close second.) then I picked up some killer andouille sausage and Krakow keilbasa at the West Side Market. At night, wegot to eat at Fahrenheit. Absolutely fantastic food, highly recommended if you don’t mind dropping $25+ on a meal. We attended the game on Sunday. Michigan put a serious hurting on OSU. I was not surprised to hear (although I didn’t confirm) that Michigan has ten NHL draft picks. OSU (also not confirmed) has five draft picks. That’s a whole lot of talent on the ice. Great time if you don’t mind being outside in 25 degree temperatures. Enough about the weekend, let’s roll.

Mick Foley gets to hear the same reaction he heard when the Rock was beating the tar out of him all of those years ago with a chair since they’re in Anaheim, absolutely nothing. They are easily the worst crowd in wrestling. A Pro Wrestling Ohio crowd has a better reaction. Dolph comes down and runs down Foley. Dolph killed. Foley did a good job of playing his part. CM Punk then arrives. Punk does a good job of mixing comedy and being serious. Johnny Wooden GM kills the momentum. Jesus, this crowd actually does something but only chants “What?” Fuck Anaheim. Johnny Law says no Mick Foley in the Royal Rumble. Somehow I get the idea he’s going to get in or else they wouldn’t have floated the idea out there. Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler recap the dunce move of giving away the tag titles at a house show.

Rosa smokes more than the andouille sausage I bought. At least we got the footage. They have less light at their house show footage than PWO. Terrible. Of course Bourne took the pin. He’s taking the beating to start the match too. Did I mention that it’s not fair the Hunico & his man crush get stuck with a low rider bike and Epico & Primo get Rosa? The tag titles mean jack. Johnny is back in our lives. He mysteriously talks to someone. The reveal is Jericho who turns off the lights and let’s the jacket sign. OK, I’m amused by the mute act again.

Zack Ryder still gets Eve Torres. He goes serious to sell the injury and show his resolve. He can work on the facials a bit. I like the message though. Kane replay.

We got Jack Swagger before the commercial break. Ryder arrives after. How the mighty have fallen. Ryder kicks out of the Swagger Bomb. Even worse, he kicks out of a second. A third one does him in. For some reason, they give him the title. I’m confused. I love Zack and all but he’s not ready to move up the card, the usual reason for losing that title. Is he injured? Did I miss something other than the crowd going crazy for him?

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WWE blows chance to let tag titles earn two thin dimes, Epico & Primo win belts at house show

According to Prowrestling.net, Epico & Primo beat Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston at Sunday’s WWE house show in Oakland, Calif., to win the WWE Tag Team Titles. For those of you who have been following along, Epico & Primo have defeated the now-former tag team champions numerous times on television, including WWE Tribute to the Troops, a December 2011 edition of Superstars, and other times I’m failing to recall because WWE doesn’t create any sort of importance with this title. Which leads me to…

… my idea for the tag titles that’s now shot all to hell. It’s funny, because I was actually thinking about this on the toilet Sunday morning: To put a little emphasis on this simmering feud, segment 3 of Raw this week could have seen Air Boom being introduced for a match, and Epico & Primo attacking them on the ramp. Replay replay replay, by which time the Os have returned backstage to be interviewed by Josh Mathews about their motives: “We’ve pinned them three times and still haven’t gotten a title shot!” Boom, done. How hard was that? That’s not to say WWE can’t make chicken salad out of this chicken shit; as I postulated in a previous article, WWE had cameras at this house show, footage from which they could show tonight, which would also feature the shiny new lighted stage! I’m peeing my pants with excitement as I write! Oops, better hold it, Bourne could use it to pass his next piss test. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Blog of Tables, Ladders and Chairs

If this isn't cute, fuck you. This picture was under tender loving care.

 Dolph Ziggler leads off the pay per view. They already mention Twitter but I’m in no shape to handle a drinking game. I had 4 Thristy Dog 12 Dogs of Christmas Ales during the Patriots at Broncos game. Zack Ryder takes him on. I may need to walk my dogs at some point so I may not be “Live” all the time. Cayenne is hiking a sleeping bag around the living room right now. Stupid Boxer. Both have new tights on so that’s no give away. Cole Irony count is at 1 since he’s making fun of Ryder for being an underdog. Good match so far. Ziggler’s dropkick ranks up there. Zack with the Huracanrana for a two count. Dolph loses to the Rough Ryder. I’d love to say that Ryder will make the US Title important but I’d be lying. Zack’s dad and Big O get to celebrate. Nice touch. The WWE is finally realizing that wins in someone’s hometown can put them over instead of retard their growth.

Booker T got attacked by Cody Rhodes but it shouldn’t mean much. Primo & Epico get a shot at them. Rosa Mendes is fucking hot. Even if she doesn’t have the biggest booty. I’d love to see Primo & Epico get a little more development time, but in today’;s WWE tag team environment & Bourne’s suspension, I lean towards the heel’s win. Kofi got a serious hot tag. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to retain. Good choice even of Evan might not be legal. I’m just asking for a 4 team division. Is tht too much to ask? I’m not asking for the past.

Hornswoggle finally admits he’s an adult. Teddy got him an Ebonics dictionary. Hornie kicked him. Randy Orton comes out first. Wade Barrett is #2. I’ve got to think Barrett gets put over with the place on the card. The style of match leads to a fluky decision like Cena versus Sheamus. Sheamus got cooled off after that for nearly a year but he’s a top baby face now.None of these matches so far are leading up to an epic finish.They’ve all been good at a minimum though. RKO thru a table gets the victory. I guess Wade isn’t ready to move up the card yet.

Teddy has another segment. Sheamus and Jack Swagger join this one. Boy, they’ve got nothings for Swagger or Sheaums. Poor Sheamus since he’s further up the food chain. Even though that match was just booked, we get Beth Phoenix against Kelly Kelly next. The dreaded roll up doesn’t work for KK. Beth Phoenix wins after an electric chair. Alicia Fox or bust right now for the WWE.

The Miz and Alberto Del Rio make sure they have their stories straight. Del Rio keeps having his very large flaws pointed out. Miz needs to drop that coat. It’s awful. Booker gets jumped from behind by Cody Rhodes. The WWE, hopefully, realizes this feud can use some more simmering.

HHH versus Kevin Nash in a sledgehammer match is next on the card. Good choice to table Rhodes & Booker. This match doesn’t look like it’s going to keep a long term match. Personal grudge matches should be shorter with more venom. HHH starts working on Nash’s knees. Figure Four thru the ladder for HHH. Nice touch. Nash takes over shortly after. Sling shot into a bridged chair brings a slow spot. Trips is the first t climb the ladder but Nash stops him. Choke slam by Nash who goes outside. He grabs a table. Seems dumb to me. They fight at the top of the ladder. HHH uses the sledgehammer to knock him thru said table. Told you it was dumb. Trips works him over. A Clique symbol then a sledgehammer to the skull wins it for HHH. He needs the win if he’s going to take on Undertaker again.

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Stunt Granny Audio Show #166

Yup!

Jeremy & Kevin are back to tickle your ears with goodness after a couple of busy week. Do they cover all of the material they skipped? Of course not or this audio would last for five hours. They do start by talking some Pro Wrestling Ohio. Who got thrown under the bus during this segment? And who did the guys throw under the bus during their weekend conversation. They spend the majority of the time talking about the WWE though. How was the Daniel Bryan versus Mark Henry match on the special live Smackdown? Bryan gets talked about more after his appearance against Alberto Del Rio on Raw. Why is he still labeled a dork? Is AJ the cutest thing ever? They segue those thoughts into talking about the Diva’s division for the only time this month. Jeremy & Kevin roll on to talk about one of the weirdest segments in a long time, John Cena pushing Zack Ryder. Why was it weird? Was it as forced as Alberto Del Rio’s push? The guys do get back around to talking about Berto & The Miz but were they too exposed by CM Punk? Find out why this threesome made Kevin think about Cars 2 by clicking on the link below.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #166

Evan Bourne Suspended? Um, what?

Yup the headline is correct, WWE has suspended Evan Bourne for thirty days for violating the WWE Wellness Policy. Evan joins Andy Levine and Heath Slater as the trifecta of violators in the last two months. Evan took to Twitter last night and had the following statement.

Love you guys! I’ll be back in a flash. AirBoom will not be derailed!

As far as Twitter responses go this isn’t a bad one really. At least he didn’t pontificate on the meaning of a setback being a bump in the path to enlightenment or some other horseshit.

Let’s be honest though. They suspended Heath Slater, Andy Levine and now Evan Bourne. Anyone else feel like this is a deflection device? The policy isn’t solely for performance enhancing drugs of course but there is something fishy here. I offer some photographic help here to make my point. –J

Stunt Granny Audio #163

Kevin and Dusty just want to say hello with Stunt Granny Audio #163. Therein they dissect the happenings of the ghoulish Halloween edition of Monday Night Raw. What did our heroes think of the integration of the Muppets onto the program? Does the Rock convey “old” better than any wrestler since Hulk Hogan? What was up with the terrible production values on this show? Who smokes more, Kate Moss, Morton Downey Jr. or AJ? What wrestler has had a Heath Slater amount of losses on television the last couple months? Are the Pittsburgh Steelers the most interesting team in the NFL? Why does John Cena *always* have to win? They delve into these issues and so much more, and it’s only going to cost you about an hour of your time, so listen or death!

Stunt Granny Show #163

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Florence is where I learned to love wine.

Tonight is not a night for a #SippyTimeBeer because I’m making tomato sauce. Any time I cook a sauce or usually when I make any Italian dish, I bust out the wine for the night. Every now and again, event the fellows at Stunt Granny have some level of sophistication. They make a killer wine in Tuscany (Florence’s state) that is called Chianti that is a mix of grapes and is my favorite. I used a California wine called Menage a Trois which is pretty much the same thing since it’s a mix of Zinfandel, Merlot & Cabernet Sauvignon. Good stuff. And remember tomato sauces = red wine and cream sauces = wine white. Time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

Evidently the Rock can only film from the same mountain top. Rock turns down Cena’s offer. Rock is looking really ripped. Glad the WWE finally put up an “Earlier Today” sign. The Rock is teaming with him for the people. The crowd even realizes how anti-climatic this announcement is. What the hell is the director doing with the long shot that doesn’t even show the video? It doesn’t make fun of children who root for Cena. Naturally it’s a threat to Cena too.

CM Punk takes on Mark Henry. Glad they waited a whole week to show the ring being broken. I’m so glad I didn’t order that PPV. I like the look of concern on Punk’s face. Even as much as I love Punk, he better get the “I can see it miles away” interference from Big Show to win. Ricardo assaults Henry to try and get him the DQ. The director fucks up again by not showing Ricardo getting the World’s Strongest Slam. Nice way to stretch out an eventual match.

We are privileged to have the Rock on actual program in two weeks. The Muppets get interrupted by “Excuse Me”. Jack Swagger gets to suck. Kermit & Piggy might pull him out of this. Santino gets in on the act. It’s a train wreck. The guy working the Muppets show more emotion than Swagger. Kelly gets to flirt with Kermit.

During the commercials, Emmitt Smith was hocking some foot insert then I got a Don King commercial. Continue the ridiculousness. The Divas Battle Royal was “hilarious” with the costume run down before the match starts. Alicia Fox wins this thing since she won last week? Nope. Eve wins again. They threw that match together so I can see stretching this thing out. I like the idea of a threesome taking on Beth & Natalya. Christian picks on poor Beaker. Sheamus acts like they’re in the same family.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

TNA doesn't deserve the picture of a real train wreck.

I haven’t had hope that TNA would take over the WWE for prominence, probably ever. I had traveled to Altoona and barely had my wits about me when I got back. Despite doing an Impact Wrestling review, I had forgotten about Bound For Glory. It seems that TNA forgot they had a pay per view too. What a truly horrific way to finish your “Super Bowl”. Those guys don’t deserve anyone’s money. The results also make me know for sure that despite the WWE’s major slump and veering off course after giving me hope recently that they’re still easily the best wrestling product on TV. I love PWO, but they are still training people on the job who graduate up to both of these organizations. I enjoy seeing that development. Of note, for some reason or another my Twitter froze up last night (on my computer and phone) while trying to do a near delusional review of Smackdown. I hope that doesn’t happen tonight. 9:15, Let’s roll.

I get to FF to start the show. They’re trying to make it worse than TNA. Johnny Wooden GM starts us off. John, we don’t find anything you do humorous or entertaining at all despite trying to get the “irony” boos. I’m shocked that JR really shows up. When’s the punch line coming? The main event is set and I’m completely uninspired. Shouldn’t there be a stipulation that the loser leaves Raw? How does that settle their differences? Orton is introed as we hit the first commercial break. Just wow.

John Morrison gets a good pop from the Mexicans. Sheamus doesn’t do much better. The heels (Christian, Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry) come out in short order. I can’t believe that Cole had to explain to us that Lawler was put thru a table by Henry to explain why Lawler was happy Henry went thru a table. Memories are for losers. Orton assaults Rhodes so that they can make some real animosity before their match on Sunday.

We are informed that it’s now a tag team match. I’d imagine since Morrison is the only one without a PPV match, he’s taking the pin. Sheamus & Christian fight thru the crowd to take it down to one on one match. Morrison looked good in defeat. The toss into the World’s Strongest Slam was cool and most guys couldn’t pull that off.

Brodus Clay gets more hype. He needs to be on Smackdown with the other giants. Man, they expanded that. Clay delivered well. Johnny Wooden GM gets the hoochies because he’s an evil GM. Del Rio comes in. Winner gets to chose stips for the PPV. Um, don’t we need another stipulation for the match? Eve is taking on Beth Phoenix at Vengeance. She gets to beat Natalya who has been the jobber. Eve busted out some reverse Cross Rhodes reverse then a top rope moonsault to try and make herself look like a worthy in one match. The WWE even realizes it’s throwing that match together with a quickness.

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