Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Reviews: Bounty Killer (2013)

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I have no problem admitting that I like the remake of Death Race and “Bounty Killer” reminds me a lot of that flick. The announcer type narrator and ridiculous premise are the two things that they share.  There is even a touch of Indiana Jones in it as the story flows along a map. Apparently this movie is based off of a graphic novel or as a comic reader likes to call them, comic books. The movie had potential but the limited budget did it no favors. Also the running time severely handicaps the story. If given time the world and backstories could have been explained more. This would work as a Cinemax series. No, not one of the Skinemax flicks but more along the lines of Banshee and Strike Back. There was definitely potential with this movie and this story but it ends up just being a ho hum, low budget action flick with big ideas. -Jeremy

WrestleMania 28 quick match ratings

So WrestleMania 28 has come and gone. What did you think of the show? Did it live up to the hype pr fall flat? Let us know. In the mean time here are my ratings of each match using our brand spanking new ratings system; The Kev. These are subject to change upon repeat viewings of the matches so eat one.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

What the fuck was that?   I give it one Kev simply for AJ.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Not appalling but not memorable. Randy losing clean was a nice surprise. 2 Kevs


Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show

Not an insulting match but wrong guy won.


Beth Phoenix and Eve vs. Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos

Yeah who cares but why Beth? 1 Kev.


Triple H vs. The Undertaker (Hell in a Cell)

Years ahead of last years effort. Great final match, if that be the case, for all of them.


Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Ok whatever, Johnny gets to be on both shows now so that is fine. Teddy will be back soon enough. Then there is the case of Eve.


C.M. Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Wonky beginning kind of hurt what was a damn fine match.


The Rock vs. John Cena

Good match but the rumors of Brock Lesnar hurt the finish. Cena needed to return that potato.

We will be back later with a full rundown of the event so check back. -Jeremy

WrestleMania 28 Preview #2- Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve

See we told you there would be another preview today. This time out the boys cover the Divas tag team match. Why?Well cause it is on the show. How do the guys stretch out such nothingness for fifteen minutes and make it entertaining and fast? Well, we aren’t sure either but it happened. Why does this match exist? Who the hell is Maria Menounos? Why isn’t Kharma on WrestleMania? For that matter where the hell is Tamina as well? Who has a pierced clit and delicious looking vagina? Just listen and you will know the answers.

WrestleMania 28 Preview #2- Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix & Eve

Other WrestleMania 28 Preview Audios

WWE 2012 Hall of Fame Show
Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #Raw

The Road to Wrestlemania starts today.

So I’m starting Raw late because I’m rewatching the Elimination Chamber. I’ve fastforwarded through most of John Cena versus Kane. There was more filler in this match than I thought. Booker is also playing up Cena being uber-happy. I don’t how positive a person you are (pointing a finger at myself) there comes a time when things just aren’t going well. An easy example for me would be my divorce. Was it a good thing? Hell yes. Did it still drag me down? Hell yes. Cena should have gotten down a bit more in parts of this angle, especially the ones involving Zack Ryder. Time for Raw. Let’s roll.

We get replay of said angle. Every single sad shot is show to prove that I’m an ass. Actually, they’re still wrong. Eve is talking to the Bellas. Eve used Zack Ryder to get popularity. Eve is going to use John Cena too. Um, how about not doing this on TV? Or when John Cena is right behind you. Why did you turn Eve? What the fuck? I mean, she’s inconsequential so why spend the beginning of your biggest show to her? I’m confused. Cena comes to the ring after the intro. Eve comes down and tries to apologize. I’m even more confused now. Cena tells her to wait for the Rock because they’re scandilous bitches. She’s the Rock’s proxy? What the hell is the point of your main babyface running down a ho? Who’s Wheaties did she pee in?

The newest vignette for Taker says that HHH‘s fate will be sealed tonight. Hooray. Sheamus takes on Mark Henry after the break. Mitchell Cool rehashing Henry being suspended. Jerry Lawler correctly pointing out that Henry being bribed for his vote. I just said something positive about Lawler. Nice Funkasaurus Extinct? sign. Why is Cool cheering on the flying shoulder block? Why? So it just dawned on me during their Twitter blow job, did they have that angle just so Ryder & Cena can be friends? Still a colossal mistake for an opening segment. Sheamus gets out of the World’s Strongest Slam and nails Henry with the Brogue Kick. Johnny Wooden GM & David Otunga are talking about themselves. Teddy Long stops by for some business. They’re not brands. Johnny may be taller, but Teddy rocks suits so much better. David Otunga gets a match against anyone on Smackdown.

The Rock returns next week. But he’s never going to leave the WWE again. That joke won’t get old for me. Sorry if you’re groaning. R Truth & Kofi Kingston are back on the tag circuit against Rosa Mendes with Epico & Primo. Kofi is on a roll when Rosa distracts him. Kofi counters out of the Back Stabber and nails Trouble in Paradise. Undercard filler.

Not quite caught up. But DAMN! what a great inductee. Ron Simmons was one of my favorites starting back with Butch Reed & Teddy Long. Oh, my buddy Ken & I dressed as the KPA at one of my bro’s parties. Keg Protection Agency. We get more replay of Elimination Chamber. Chris Jericho is with Josh Matthews. He was knocked out. He was legally eliminated. Jericho trying to get heat but people cheer. Jericho vows to win the battle royal. Of course you will.

David Otunga gets to take on Ezekiel Jackson. We get to find out how far in the dog house Jackson is. Otunga gives Zeke a Simmons like spinebuster. Cool gets to have camera time to cheer on Johnny. This replay involves last week’s Raw. Nice break from the EC. It’s about HHH & Shawn Michaels. Taker is next.

I grab a beer while Taker comes to the ring. I also started my potato and cauliflower mash. Taker wants to end the uncertainty. He was surprised by the no. I hear apocalypse and HHH not having a choice. Sure. Par for the course. If HHH is reformed, shouldn’t he have new music? HHH tells Taker to carry the torch for the next generation. He doesn’t want to kill Taker. HHH tells Taker he knows he’s at the end of his rope. Taker pulls out the coward card. Not quite a punk card. HHH gets angry then restrains himself. HHH still says no and leaves the ring. Cool camera shot with Taker and HHH being shown on the video screen. Taker plunks down the punk card by saying HHH can’t do it as good as Shawn Michaels. HHH knows he can finish it. The crowd chants “Prove It”. I so wanted HHH to turn him down. The crowd pops huge for the announcement. HHH will face him but only in the Hell In A Cell. I can’t believe that won’t be the main event. Taker doesn’t take the hood off. Save the surprise for later.

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Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Survivor Series Review, Jeremy & Eric, Nov. 21, 2011

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I shit you not, this image came up when searching "chewing up scenery."

Jeremy: So what you think of Survivor Series?

Eric: I’m not gonna lie: it’s the first WWE PPV I’ve seen since we went to WrestleMania, and I liked it a lot. Thumbs higher than the middle. What about you?

Jeremy: Ehh, it was a decent show but for $55.00 I expect more. No new talent, nothing shocking or anything to make you talk about the show. I expected Nash or Triple H, Skip Sheffield, anything or anyone to make it a head slapper for not ordering and it wasn’t one of those shows.

Eric: I paid $5 to see it with a group of people I’d never met, and thankfully they were making references to Giant Gonzalez and random stuff like that, so they were cool.

Jeremy: I was all on my own. Well, I had Twitter.

Eric: Honestly, had Hunter or Nash come out, I would have slapped my head for being suckered into watching it. I’m so happy those two assholes stayed out of it.

Jeremy: Figured Nash would come out to cost Punk the title and Triple H would have stopped him. Suppose they are letting that angle actually play out for a while.

Eric: I thought there was plenty to talk about, just nothing earth-shattering. Dolph Ziggler coming into his own even more is worth talking about, yes?

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

TNA doesn't deserve the picture of a real train wreck.

I haven’t had hope that TNA would take over the WWE for prominence, probably ever. I had traveled to Altoona and barely had my wits about me when I got back. Despite doing an Impact Wrestling review, I had forgotten about Bound For Glory. It seems that TNA forgot they had a pay per view too. What a truly horrific way to finish your “Super Bowl”. Those guys don’t deserve anyone’s money. The results also make me know for sure that despite the WWE’s major slump and veering off course after giving me hope recently that they’re still easily the best wrestling product on TV. I love PWO, but they are still training people on the job who graduate up to both of these organizations. I enjoy seeing that development. Of note, for some reason or another my Twitter froze up last night (on my computer and phone) while trying to do a near delusional review of Smackdown. I hope that doesn’t happen tonight. 9:15, Let’s roll.

I get to FF to start the show. They’re trying to make it worse than TNA. Johnny Wooden GM starts us off. John, we don’t find anything you do humorous or entertaining at all despite trying to get the “irony” boos. I’m shocked that JR really shows up. When’s the punch line coming? The main event is set and I’m completely uninspired. Shouldn’t there be a stipulation that the loser leaves Raw? How does that settle their differences? Orton is introed as we hit the first commercial break. Just wow.

John Morrison gets a good pop from the Mexicans. Sheamus doesn’t do much better. The heels (Christian, Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry) come out in short order. I can’t believe that Cole had to explain to us that Lawler was put thru a table by Henry to explain why Lawler was happy Henry went thru a table. Memories are for losers. Orton assaults Rhodes so that they can make some real animosity before their match on Sunday.

We are informed that it’s now a tag team match. I’d imagine since Morrison is the only one without a PPV match, he’s taking the pin. Sheamus & Christian fight thru the crowd to take it down to one on one match. Morrison looked good in defeat. The toss into the World’s Strongest Slam was cool and most guys couldn’t pull that off.

Brodus Clay gets more hype. He needs to be on Smackdown with the other giants. Man, they expanded that. Clay delivered well. Johnny Wooden GM gets the hoochies because he’s an evil GM. Del Rio comes in. Winner gets to chose stips for the PPV. Um, don’t we need another stipulation for the match? Eve is taking on Beth Phoenix at Vengeance. She gets to beat Natalya who has been the jobber. Eve busted out some reverse Cross Rhodes reverse then a top rope moonsault to try and make herself look like a worthy in one match. The WWE even realizes it’s throwing that match together with a quickness.

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Dusty’s Blog: Post Monday Night Raw Autopsy

If you didn't like this week's Monday Night Raw, this picture should hopefully put things into perspective for you.

This one will be short and sweet since I’m feeling under the weather today. Kevin wanted me to do this because he’s busy with something or another else. We’re choking down Summer Slam, so they better make this count.

Triple H comes out to start the show. How long do you get to be the new COO of the company before you’re just the COO of the company? He said there were lots of changes going on in the company, what with them going from having no champion to now having two. He said they’re going to resolve that issue at Summer Slam with a match between John Cena and CM Punk to determine who the undisputed champion will be. Punk got a big pop again at the mention. Hunter said a match of that magnitude is going to need a special guest referee of equal magnitude to keep the law and order. So, of course, it’s going to be him. Stevie Wonder could have seen that coming. Ray Charles could have seen that coming. A visually impaired person who needs the assistance of eyewear in order to see things properly could have seen that coming.

In any event, Hunter then got down to the business of laying out the format of the rest of the show. We’ve got a contract signing between Punk and Cena (I’m sure that will go just swimmingly), as well as individual matches for the both of them against other dudes. Hunter said Cena’s match is first, and actually it is going to be right then and there. I love how they do that on wrestling shows, the faux surprise “let’s have a match right now!” thing. What were they going to do otherwise with that time? Just show an empty ring? Have Triple H talk longer? Before they went to break, Cena got in Hunter’s face to question the guest referee stipulation. Hunter told him no one is bigger than him, basically laying down the law there. Interesting.

Back from break, and Cena is taking on Jack Swagger. WWE forgot to fire Swagger on Black Friday a while back, and they’re going to punish him for it by making him job on television. Or something like that. I’m not reviewing the matches this week in any sort of meaningful way, if you want to know the truth of it. Besides, Swagger is not good, so it would just be a bunch of sentences saying stuff like “Swagger did something poorly” and “Swagger sold something poorly.” I just saved you some time. Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment for the victory. It was your basic John Cena match that he had every week while I was doing Smackdown reviews back in the day. I guess Swagger and Carlito are interchangeable.

Later in the show is going to be Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz. Isn’t Rey hurt? Isn’t Miz not much better off? What’s going on here? They show clips of Bret Hart vs. Curt Hennig from Summer Slam 1991, which is one of my favorite matches of all time, ostensibly to get people excited about this year’s Summer Slam. Done and doner.

Ricardo Rodriguez interrupts Scott Stanford (the broski of the forever) to introduce Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio is going to be taking on Punk tonight, and he vows to finish what he tried to start at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view. So apparently Punk is a babyface now, in that he is a babyface when he is facing heels and a heel when he is facing babyfaces. Who doesn’t think Punk is this generation’s Randy Savage, the best thing to happen to wrestling in the last 10 years? If so, harm yourself immediately.

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Dusty’s Blog: Post Monday Night Raw Autopsy

Guess who's back... back again...

I came up with that title at three o’clock this afternoon. See, cause it’s after the show aired? Eh? Ah, forget it.

Kevin is incapacitated this week, so I’m back here doing what I used to do every week – review Monday Night Raw for no pay whatsoever. Last week’s show lit the internet on fire in a blaze of controversy, so it will be interesting to see how this show fares in its aftermath.

We start with the new Raw belt on display, shades of the WrestleMania 4 tournament. All we needed was Robin Leach to read a pretentious proclamation before the match began. I really hate the way Justin Roberts strains some words out like he’s taking a gigantic dump. I’m sure someone in management told him to do it. Cole and Lawler introduce the show and say it’s right to the action as we’re going to start things off with Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz for the Raw Title. They show the entire lockerroom watching backstage. I’m loving this; it’s being treated like a big deal, and they’re guaranteeing a champion by putting the match on first and letting it go as long as it needs to. Cole puts over the tournament and the guys’ backgrounds like he’s good ol’ JR or something. (That’s post-show-watching foreshadowing, folks.) “If Rey Mysterio walked on water, you’d say, ‘Oh look, Mysterio can’t swim!'” – Jerry Lawler to Michael Cole.

We come back from break with Lawler taking a shot at the Obama-Boehner political debate that was going on tonight. They trade nearfalls and Miz becomes frustrated, which culminates in an almost Christian-like temper tantrum after a close two count. Miz blocks a 619 and hits a sitout powerbomb for a two count. “Miz looks like a Greek statue with that flower on his dick.” – Becky, in regards to Miz’s terrible trunks. Mysterio finally hits the 619 and top rope splash to win the match and the title. This was a great TV show match.

Miz attacks during the post-match celebration and lays out Mysterio. Alberto Del Rio’s music hits and he comes out with the briefcase, indicating he’s going to claim his title match right now while Mysterio is down and out. However, he takes too long to get to the ring, and Mysterio catches him with a dive to the outside. Del Rio retreats while vowing Mysterio hasn’t seen the last of him.

They come back from break showing Mysterio receiving a standing ovation from the boys in the back, who then shower him with champagne. Cena gets up in his face, but then shakes his hand and pats him on the back. Josh Mathews interviews Mysterio, who talks about his family and how much this win means to him. They then show clips of last week’s show ending angle with Triple H and Vince McMahon and advertise that Hunter will be doing a State of the WWE Address later on in the show.

We come back from break with clips of Dolph Ziggler beating Kofi Kingston at the Capital Punishment PPV to win the United States Title. This sets up Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero in his corner) taking on Evan Bourne. I love Zigglers’ “I Am Perfection” shirt. The font is very reminiscent of what they used for the WrestleMania 2 graphics. I’m all full of old WrestleMania references in this review, as you will see. Vickie is a heat machine at ringside. Evan’s selling is top notch. He is absolutely this generation’s Ricky Morton, and I hope WWE understands what a gift they have with him. Bourne hits a frankensteiner off the top for a two count. He misses a 450 splash and Ziggler takes control, locking in a sleeper hold for the victory. “Follow that!” Ziggler challenges. Great charisma. They then show a clip of Kofi beating Del Rio last week to set up this week’s rematch.

Every USA Network show is exactly the same. Have you noticed this? I can’t wait to see Vincent D’Onofrio star in this week’s Burn Notice. Or… wait… uh…

We’re back with a wacky backstage segment featuring some schmuck carrying around a pack of Keystone Light like he’s Buck Zumhofe with the stereo. Oh, it’s Keith Stone. Whatever. In any event, Eve complains to him that the Bella Twins always take advantage of the fact that they are identical to do sneaky switches behind the ref’s back and basically cheat for a living. Stone solves this problem by using magic markers to draw an arm sleeve tattoo on Nikki in a quick cutaway scene. There was no follow up to this whatsoever, so I have no idea what the point of it was, other than to try to get Dusty Giebink to commit suicide.

Maryse and Melina are already in the ring, so you just know this match is going to end up going well for them. They’re taking on Kelly Kelly and Eve tonight. Maryse carries herself like she’s hotness. Lawler again takes a shot at the political speech. They should be careful that these knocks aren’t advertising the thing, you know? Eve is basically dressed like a Los Angeles Lakers cheerleader tonight. She also has huge knockers, so there’s that. Maryse actually hits a stinkface at some point in the match. Melina tags in and stinks up one side and down the other. Man, is she terrible. The match devolves into a four way brawl. Kelly hits the fameasser for the win. Everything not involving Melina was decent for women’s fare. They show R-Truth talking *at* (not to) Triple H backstage to hype up the State of the WWE Address.

During the break, Becky points out the genius of Hunter marrying Stephanie. Apparently she doesn’t believe in True Love.

Hunter comes out for his State of the Union address as Cole points out last week it was announced he’s taking over for Vince as the head of day to day operations of the company. Beck points out it’s like when Michael took over for Don Corleone in the Godfather. Hunter is even dressed like a mob boss here. Hunter gives dap to Vince to start things off. He says he’s here to talk about the future of the company, and congratulates Mysterio on his title win. He says Rey has agreed to defend the belt in a second title match here tonight against John Cena, since Cena was cheated out of the rematch he deserved by Vince.

Hunter then switches gears and says he’s re-hired someone the fans have been clamoring for for some time now. Everybody thinks it’s CM Punk, but it ends up being Jim Ross, I’m sure much to Eric Nelson’s glee. Lawler embraces Ross as Cole looks like Hunter just ran over his new kitty 37 times with a Hummer. Cole throws down his headset and grabs a microphone. He says Hunter said this was supposed to be about the future, but Jim Ross is the walking dead. He says he’s been a company man since WrestleMania, doing everything they asked him to do, but he will not commentate along with Ross. Hunter looks nonplussed in the ring during this rant. Cole gets in Ross’ face, saying he’s spent his entire WWE career kissing Vince McMahon’s ass, so it makes sense that now that Hunter is in charge, Ross would kiss his ass. “The only thing bigger than your ego is your gut!” Hunter politely asks if Cole is finished, and then says his first inclination was to outright fire Cole and replace him with Ross. He said that was a logistical impossibility, however, due to the terms in Cole’s contract. Therefore, he is giving Cole the rest of the show off, and he has until Friday Night Smackdown to make up his mind on what his future holds. If he no shows the Smackdown taping, it will be considered a breach of contract and Cole will be future endeavored. If he shows up, everything will be as normal, just with Ross calling Raw from now on. Cole changes his tune immediately, saying he wants to keep his job and sits back down at the announce booth. Hunter says Cole must have misunderstood him, because he said he’s given Cole the night off from announcing. However, he better get to the back and get changed, because he’s got a match coming up next. He says if Cole refuses to do the match, it will again be considered a breach of contract and he will be fired. He said he left Cole some wrestling gear in the back, so he has no excuses.

As Cole is storming out of the scene angrily, R-Truth appears to confront Hunter. He says it’s out with the old and in with the new and he digs that. He starts talking to himself. This is a great gimmick. He tells Hunter that Little Jimmy cost him his match at Capital Punishment, and spiders and heights cost him his match at the Money in the Bank PPV. He asks Hunter what he’s going to do to end the vast conspiracy that exists against him. Hunter starts talking to himself as a way of mocking Truth. This is the type of stuff Hunter is still funny at. “Man, you crazy!” “I know, it’s like I’m insane!” “You might be a game, but I ain’t playing!” As Truth is walking off, Hunter stops him and announces that he has re-signed another guy, and this guy wants a piece of Truth. Cue John Morrison. Morrison and Truth brawl all over ringside and Morrison hits the Starship Pain to end the segment. Good stuff, because it wasn’t just 20 minutes of Hunter talking about himself. They accomplished a bunch of stuff in this segment and none of it was “get over Hunter,” really.

Back from break with Cole coming out dressed like Triple H and spitting the water for cheap comedy. I guess they can’t get that completely out of their systems yet. “I forgot about those ugly tattoos,” Jim Ross truths. Zack Ryder is announced as his opponent. Fans are actually chanting Ryder’s name. The match is over so quick I still had my head down writing the above couple sentences. I hope this is the start of some type of TV push for Ryder.

They show clips from last week’s Kofi vs. ADR match to set up this week’s rematch. Ricardo Rodriguez is out there to introduce Del Rio. All is right with the world. Kofi hits a sloppy non-fruit rollup (oh yeah). Del Rio retreats as they cut to a quick break.

Back from break and Del Rio has taken control of the match. Kofi hits a high crossbody for a two count. He then hits the boom drop or whatever the piss they’re calling it. He takes too long to hit a kick of some description and Del Rio hits the old Cactus Jack double arm DDT. Kofi counters a roll through with one of his own (shades of Bret vs. Owen from WrestleMania 10 – see, I told you!), but Del Rio grabs the ropes. Del Rio finally locks on the cross armbreaker for the submission victory. Not a bad match.

Back from break, they advertise Rey vs. Cena for the belt, but first Josh Mathews interviews the Miz backstage. Miz says he can’t believe Cena has a title match after almost being fired last week. He said Vince had the right idea, but Hunter came in and ruined things. He says Cena caused this whole mess to begin with by losing the title to He Who Shall Not Be Mentioned. He says it’s a shame that the face of the company now is a man who does not even show his face, but rather hides it behind a mask. He gets in a cheap plug for his appearance on the George Lopez Show, coming up Wednesday. So did I, just there. He says Hunter’s reign thus far has been a huge mistake.

All my neighbors mowed their lawns today. I mean, I’m unemployed, so days of the week mean absolutely nothing to me, but I still mow my lawn on the weekend, just because it seems like a very weekendy thing to do. You know, you just have more time on the weekend to do things like that. I wonder why everyone in this neighborhood chose Monday afternoon as designated lawn mowing time. Seems bizarre to me.

We come back from break and learn that ugly chicks dig Cena. He really is the new Shawn Michaels. Cena and Mysterio fist bump before the match as Ross points out they are not allowed to refer to CM Punk by name on the air. (He did it without saying his name, of course. Although, it would have been funny if he was like, “I’m not allowed to say CM Punk. Oh shit!”) Back and forth action to start. Lawler points out that Cena might have the advantage here since Mysterio has had to wrestle once already tonight. Nice touch. Mysterio gets a DDT in for a two count. Cena locks in an STF but Rey gets to the ropes. Cena counters a 619 with a powerslam for two. Cena hits the five knuckle shuffle and goes for the F-U but Rey counters it.

Bunch of counters time! Rey locks in the STF. Cena powers out of it with one leg, which looks awesome. Rey hits the 619 but takes too long to attempt the top rope splash and Cena gets his knees up. Rey tries for the frankensteiner but Cena counters it with a powerbomb. Cena gets a near fall with a top rope fameasser that I think fooled the crowd. Rey counters the F-U, Cena counters the 619, and hits the F-U to win the title. Rey looked good in losing there. Cena and Rey embrace and then Cena celebrates with the title. Wait a minute, though. What’s that music?

Cue CM Punk coming to the ring! Punk gets into the ring for a face-off with Cena. The crowd gave Punk a huge reaction when he came out. Sort of like, “YAY! I’m so glad he’s back… wait a minute, I’m supposed to hate him! BOO!” Cena holds up his belt to a big reaction. Punk holds up his belt to an even bigger reaction. This is where the show ends. We’re left to ponder whether Punk is the third guy Hunter re-signed since taking control of the company, or if he just showed up on his own accord. And if he is back in the fold, will this set up a title-for-title match with Cena? If so, when? SummerSlam? This is exactly what a good wrestling television show should do. Another strong thumbs up from me here.

Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Jeremy & Kevin, May 31, 2011

Jeremy: I enjoyed the show more than you I think.
Kevin: Aside from the ending. Wow, Twitter rant!
Jeremy: I need the time to write out my exact thoughts but that was a perfectly fine wrestling show. As soon as Cena comes up and boom goes the dynamite. More gimmick shit to cover the fact he can’t work.
Kevin: I still have no idea what you’re talking about. How is R-Truth resting on the outside Cena’s fault?
Jeremy: What was Cena’s last match? That shitty gimmick match with Miz. Before that? another clunker with Miz at WrestleMania. there was one in the middle. It is just one bad match after another. You can’t blame the dance partner when there is one constant.
Kevin: I can’t argue with the Miz examples but I don’t think last night can be used. Lots of gimmick stuff in there to get R Truth’s new persona over
Jeremy: But man, it is another gimmickfest that stunk the joint out and Cena is involved yet again. They could have had an actual contest and had truth still do same thing. Also that heavy handed crap with the dad at the end was good until Cena started patting the guy on the head like a dog.
Jeremy: Wait.
Jeremy: I am supporting R-Truth? Kill me now. I am done.
Kevin: Easy to support R-Truth but he isn’t exactly a wizard in the ring either.
Jeremy: Oh god no. In no way is their match going to be good. He got by at the beginning of TNA on his vocals not the in ring part.  Good to know you can shut a PPV off at 10:35 and not miss anything though.
Kevin: That’s going to be viewing for my own amusement, train wreck style
Jeremy: As long as they put The Bellas on first it will be fine. Another god damn waster.
Kevin: At least they got something to make people care about them this week. You sound more down on the show than me already. I need to re-read my column.
Jeremy: Those are my only complaints. I have hated the Bellas for a while though.
Kevin: So, you still hate them?  Or weren’t you on board with last night?
Jeremy: As soon as I saw them come out it hit me that they are using them to replace Laycool. As bad as Laycool was, The Bellas are way worse.
Kevin: Not possible, except neither of them is a good looking as either McCool or Layla.
Jeremy: It’s like they are pretending to be Laycool but they come off as nerd kids play fighting.
Kevin: Everyone in the women’s division comes off that way because they’ve taken a dump on them for 2 straight years, at least.
Jeremy: Maryse is ok, Eve got better. Natalya is one of the bad ones
Kevin: Kelly Kelly got better too but she depends on movement in her matches to cover up for her lack of strength.
Jeremy: Yeah using her hair especially.
Kevin: And again, you’re going bananas about last night and I still can’t remember what I said negative about the show.
Jeremy: Think I liked Dolph/Kofi better.
Kevin: Wow, one match that wasn’t nearly a major angle like the Bellas or Cena/Truth. And it was probably because Dolph’s hair is dyed.
Jeremy: Kofi is sloppy but for some reason it worked last night. The action seemed genuine.
Kevin Difrango: I was getting into the post commercial break until that botched sequence. Match was good for the 2nd half, Outside of that part. I blew the Punk/Rey match.
Jeremy: Yeah those guys need to go again for longer. No stips other than one guy beating the other but that is a fanboy thing.
Kevin: I liked the Kharma segment.
Jeremy: Yes I enjoyed it very much. At first I was a little worried then she killed. She was on point, her voice is stronger than I expected, she still looked like a badass by the end as well as building anticipation for the next go around, which I hope happens.
Kevin: Yeah, they’d be dumb not to keep her even if she killed a massive push. And they’d have time to make the women’s division respectable while she’s gone.
Jeremy: Key issue is making the divas respectable. Eve would be fine; she has a nice muscular build that makes her look a threat. Beth of course. Tamina I suppose.
Kevin: That’s why I noted the women’s division getting a minor push this week. Not sure the last time they got 2 segments on Raw. Those 3 are the logical size-wise opponents for Kharma. Along with Twin Magic since it’s 2 of them.
Jeremy: Yeah and if they bump like crazy for her it would work.
Kevin: I still don’t have a lot of faith in them.
Jeremy: Nor should you/we.

Smoke Smoke Smoke That Cigarette

Listen. We here at Stunt Granny certainly do not advocate smoking (although you’d be a darned fool to ignore its rich delicious flavor and cool soothing effect it has on people), but we exist to report the news and therefore we know how rare it is for someone to actually be allowed to smoke at ringside.

There was my personal physician, Dr. Havey Wippleman.

There’s the most hardcore wrestler in ECW history, Sandman.

And of course I would be remiss to not mention the hottest female in wrestling  history (in my opinion, which is the only one that really matters), Terri Runnels.

And now WWE has chosen THIS TIME to unveil a new smoking character. And that character is none other than friend of the show, ol’ Kwik Trip himself, Ron Killings!

While I find the first three people listed hella rad,I somewhat question the validity of R-Truth being in such esteemed company. When I expressed my doubts to my super secret insider source, he insisted to me that this was the right man at the RIGHT TIME. – Dusty

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