More PRIME Wrestling Defections To The WWE?

There are a number of noticeable indy wrestlers that have signed with the WWE, but I will leave those posts to someone else. According to Gerweck.net (we do source our info from other sites, sometimes) Johnny Gargano from Pro Wrestling Ohio/PRIME Wrestling  along with Dragon Gate USA & Evolve has signed with the WWE and will be heading to FCW in the near future. Good for him. Gargano was one of the better wrestlers when the promotion started about five years ago. He has worked hard on his promo to make them go from childish to a man cutting a promo which has been his biggest development.

If you read the link, there’s some other news that pertains just to PRIME Wrestling, while I knew some of the information because of my sources inside of the organization, some of the information was never passed along. It is a bit shocking to find out the owner of the company, Walt Klasinski, got convicted of sexual assault related charges. The legal trouble led to Joe Dombrowski purchasing the company and re-branding it. Klasinski’s actions don’t change my thoughts on the promotion because he was never booking for it to my knowledge and none of the wrestlers were convicted either. I think it’s a fine, paint by the numbers booking style that helps get the wrestlers over.

To get back to Gargano, one of the better parts of the transition from Pro Wrestling Ohio to PRIME Wrestling was the carry over of the story lines. Gargano came back on an episode I haven’t watched yet but he is set to take on Jimmy Jacobs for the PRIME Wrestling Title at Wrestlelution 5. His possible move to the WWE would put a giant crimp in their big event.

Like any good indy promotion, PWO/PRIME talent has been ransacked just as they start to move to the next level. Zema Ion (Shiima Xion) is now the X Division Champion in TNA. He was recently joined by Flip Cassanova (aka Flip Kendrick) in the X Division Title hunt taking each other on at Destination X this past Sunday. The WWE signed “Big Rig” Brodie Lee in March not long after he worked with Kevin Nash at Wrestlelution 4. The WWE also signed Derek Bateman in PWO’s infancy when he went by the name Michael Hutter. Gargano will have some familar faces around him, but only time will tell if he can become the Whole She Bang and the Cat’s Meow in the WWE. -Kevin

Headlines: CM Punk mentions new WWE Title, DeMott takes over FCW, Diana Hart Smith teaming with Linda Bollea??

According to PWTorch.com, CM Punk answered 90 minutes worth of questions at this weekend’s Wizard World Comic Con (where fantasies become fantasies and not exactly reality), and Punk revealed that a new WWE Title belt has been created. He said the belt is about 20 pounds heavier than the current spinner belt, which means the belt weighs approximately as much as CM Punk. SPOILER: The new belt will use its 20-pound weight advantage to pin Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank.

According to Prowrestling.net, Bill DeMott will replace Dr. Tom Prichard as the head trainer of Florida Championship Wrestling. Younger fans will recognize DeMott as the head trainer of the wildly successful “Tough Enough” series, while older fans will recognize Prichard as the guy with the shitty Roddy Piper impression from Smoky Mountain Wrestling, and as Body Donna Zip.

L to R: Zip, Kloudy. Yep, this happened. Thanks for nothing, 1996.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Diana Hart Smith, widow of the late Davey Boy Smith, has a project in the works with Linda Bollea, ex-wife of Hulk Hogan:

“I look forward to doing a project with Linda Hogan. I’m awaiting news on that. She has some irons in the fire. She said if anything turn out, she wants me to be on board.”

Time to speculate: A scripted reality show where Linda chases Diana’s son 27-year-old son Harry, much to Diana’s disapproval… ummm, Linda and Diana co-host a podcast where they each take credit for the Pontiac Silverdome and Wembley Stadium attendance figures… an infomercial with Gary Spivey where newly minted spiritual mediums Linda and Diana speak to dead wrestlers on a 1-900 line for just $1.99 a minute… OK, I got nothin’. -Eric

Triple H, others dispute Florida Championship Wrestling closing, moving, going away

Yeah, join now, before it goes away, according to the dirt sheets!

According to Prowrestling.net, Triple H, who acts as WWE’s Executive Vice President of Talent (which basically means he gets to tell Ricky Steamboat’s son not to wear green and black because those are DX colors), has denied the “dirt sheet” rumors that Florida Championship Wrestling is closing.

“It is absolutely not true,” Triple H said. “FCW is not closing. I don’t know how the rumor started but I believe it’s a situation where the ‘dirt sheets’ want to believe they have the scoop on everything. If anything, we are in the process of ramping up our entire developmental system. … If anything, it’s going to get bigger and better than ever.”

Whew, that’s good to know. Now we’ll have more than one farm league full of white guys named Kassius Ohno.

And then, according to Prowrestling.net, there’s Kiss-Ass Kevin Eck (I just came up with that, I’ve never met the guy), who after working as a pro wrestling columnist for the Baltimore Sun picked up a writing job with WWE and along with it snatched up the company line. Now it’s his to toe:

“WWE is severing ties with FCW?” Eck wrote. “Good lord. Dirt sheets are wrong…AGAIN.”

Ooooh, sick burn, Eck! You really showed those dirt sheets! Man, I hope those dirty dirt sheets all disappear, and their dirty writers die and go straight to hell! Sheeeeeit!

So, to summarize: Abraham Washington, you still have a job. For now. -Eric

Ted Dibiase has a broken ankle

According to his Twitter account, Ted Dibiase has a broken ankle.

DiBiase Posse last night I unfortunately broke my ankle. Can’t catch a break lately. Ha, Well I guess I did n a way! Its ok tho, James 1:2-3

In case you are wondering the last bit is from a Bible passage. According to biblegateway.com that says:

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Of course that was the New International Version of the Bible. The King James version, and my personal favorite rendition says:

2My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

Then there is this translation of the exact same thing from the English Standard Version of The Bible.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

So basically, Ted broke his ankle and this will try his patience but he has no choice cause God won’t heal his broken bone instantly. He has to sit around and watch everyone collect a WrestleMania check form the comfort to of a backstage monitor. Later on he will have to hear about the huge bonus his fellow independent contractors received, yes even the FCW talent who will likely play a druid, thanks to The Rock being on the card. Thanks God. -Jeremy

Oh yes: Chris Hero added to FCW roster under the name Kassius Ohno

(L to R) The yet-to-be-hired Ricky Steamboat, Jr., Kassius Ohno, the soon-to-be-fired Evan Bourne, the smaller-than-Evan-Bourne PAC.

According to Prowrestling.net, Chris Hero, indy darling who finally signed on with WWE after months of medical clearances and haggling with Triple H about cutting his ratty hair, has been added to the Florida Championship Wrestling roster under the name Kassius Ohno.

Look, WWE, we’re not stupid. We know you enjoy renaming wrestlers whose characters you didn’t create as a doodle on your seamstress’ sketchpad while Cranky Vince McMahon tried to finger her – with CM Punk being one of very few exceptions. And you love using the lesser-known aliases of ex-WWE wrestlers or other recognizable athletes – Santino Marella after Bob “Gorilla Monsoon” Marella, Khosrow Daivari after Khosrow “Iron Sheik” Vasiri, and the one that I’m sure kept you up all night, Kenny Dykstra after Lenny Dykstra. I even offered a few names for Hero at the PWTorch.com VIP Forum:

Parker Peter
Bruce Bannnnner
Bruce Mitchell
Bruce Sammartino
Braden Walker
Chris Weiner
Chris Doubledeedoo
Chris Morneau
Chris Kennedy (if he’s smart, he’ll pick that, then cut his hair)

But Kassius Ohno takes the fucking cake. This may be the most bizarre name a white man on the WWE roster has ever had. Is it a play on Cassius Clay, the current Muhammad Ali? He’d be touched. Is it a play off former WCW stereotype Sonny Onoo? He’d be touched, if you gave him $500 and a ride from Mason City, Iowa, to Albert Lea, Minn. So let’s save a post and allow me to wish Ohno the best in his future 2013 endeavors. -Eric

"Hey, nip me, pay me!"

UPDATE: Jeremy just asked me, “Is ‘Ohno’ even an Asian name?” That caused me to think of Apolo Ohno, the speed or figure skater, whatever he is. In pop culture, Ohno is a revered sporting name that will go down in the annals of athletic history with Wepner, Strawberry and Beefcake. In pro wrestling, a slight alteration of the spelling makes me think of the weaselly, photo-snapping tourist. To-may-to, to-mah-to.

Headlines: Heath Slater is an idiot, Vader’s offspring comes to FCW

L or R (not sure): Heath Slater, her biggest fan

According to Prowrestling.net, Heath Slater, who looks like a woman and is lucky as fuck to have a job in professional wrestling, was suspended by WWE for 30 days for violating the wellness policy. What in the hell is with some of these guys? DUIs, wellness policy violations… I know you’re living the dream, and part of the dream involves ballooning up right in front of Vince McMahon, but when you’re Heath Slater and have no business ever being on my television, you protect your spot like it’s your mother’s ashes. (No offense if Mrs. Slater is dead, I don’t have time to check Wikipedia.) If a person stood in front of me and held a million-dollar check at arm’s reach, I wouldn’t start kicking him in the nuts; I’d be polite and gracious, then I’d hire a huge posse to walk me to the bank, put them on my payroll, throw lavish parties, and end up homeless like MC Hammer. But I sure wouldn’t screw up a good thing.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Big Van Vader’s son Jesse is now a member of the Florida Championship Wrestling roster. He’s going by the name of Jake Carter, which isn’t McGillicutty-level bad, but it’s pretty nondescript. He does have an interesting, sarcastic-Sheamus-like look to him, which is funny, because his picture on that roster page is right next to that of Husky Harris, who looks more like Vader than Carter does…

OK, time out. Did you click on that link? My god, what a bunch of misfits. That page is just one bad decision after another, save for the former Claudio Castagnoli. I mean, look at CJ Parker, for god’s sake. Is he Carlito? Or Darren Young? Or my grandma on my mom’s side? And Bo Rotundo looks like a cross-eyed drag queen, which, believe me, is no fun to deal with. And don’t even get me started on how many of these guys look like they came straight off the porn set (I’m looking at you, former Tyler Black). Just call Ricky Steamboat’s kid up to the main roster and burn the rest of that thing to the ground. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Tough Enough Choice

The WWE had a choice Monday night and it showed the new direction of their company.

The WWE made what some people thought was a surprising choice in making Andy Leavine the first Tough Enough winner of the renewed series. I had a gut feeling along with some other people like our good buddy Travis Bryant (@travlord) over at the PW torch that the choice would be Andy over Luke Robinson.

After watching the show and through Raw, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why he was such an overwhelming choice. Bill DeMott, Trish Stratus and Booker T all picked Andy even though they all noted that it might be a little late for Andy to be really turning it up.

We note endlessly how the WWE likes big guys but Andy at 6′-5″ and 290. He isn’t so big that he’s a shoe in no matter how awful his in ring work is like the Great Khali. I will admit to being surprised that Luke was only 212 pounds when they showed the wrestling clips from FCW. I think CM Punk is small and they list him at 222. I don’t think it helped Luke (as Jeremy helped clarify) that for as in shape as he was, he doesn’t have a big chest or arms. Even though Andy was the bigger of the men, I didn’t think that was the main factor in the decision.

After Raw when I was preparing potato salad for a bachelor party, it hit me the main reason Andy got picked. All through the show, they laced Andy as the good guy and Luke as a party boy. Andy promised his wife he wouldn’t drink while he was away and aside from having a beer with Luke and Steve Austin after getting into the final. Meanwhile, Luke reveled in the party boy image at the beginning of the show. Joey Styles (@JoeyStyles) tweeted after the first episode –

In the Tough Enough house and drinking all night? The booze is a temptation test numbnuts! Train, eat, sleep, repeat and win, balloonheads!

After the roller skating challenge that Trish presented the contestants, regular patrons looked on in disgust as Luke and Jeremiah ground on servers, dancers and anyone else in their sight. Luke made fun of Andy for not drinking after this contest for the first time, if memory serves. When the Divas came visiting, Luke and Jeremiah were at the head of the class in drinking again. They slapped each other in public and made a general scene while Andy kicked back and said to one of the Divas that he had promised his wife that he wouldn’t drink.

The last show really hammered home this point. Andy was shown at home helping his wife clean, taking care of their child, had his wife act as his trainer and they even brought their child to the work out. Meanwhile, Luke’s first image was of him and his friends partying on a boat. Luke said that he wanted to party like a rock star and said that every time he came back home, it was going to be that way. The WWE did show him doing a Brock Lesnar inspired work out video to not make him look completely bad.

In recent years, the WWE has be careful to get rid of anyone who parties because of deteriorating image with so many early deaths. They got rid of Kurt Angle, then Jeff Hardy and his brother Matt for other reasons but one would have to assume that their life style didn’t help the WWE bridge the gap in negotiations or in their willingness to not grant them their release. After the WWE brass saw all of the incidents with Luke, they made up their mind that they didn’t want to hire another PR head ache. The WWE brass wanted Andy, the family man. He fits into their PG mold because he’s going out to make a better living for his family, not party.

After trying to put my finger on why the WWE picked Andy, I had to prepare for a party of my own for it to dawn on me. – Kevin

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