Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Reviews: Bounty Killer (2013)

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I have no problem admitting that I like the remake of Death Race and “Bounty Killer” reminds me a lot of that flick. The announcer type narrator and ridiculous premise are the two things that they share.  There is even a touch of Indiana Jones in it as the story flows along a map. Apparently this movie is based off of a graphic novel or as a comic reader likes to call them, comic books. The movie had potential but the limited budget did it no favors. Also the running time severely handicaps the story. If given time the world and backstories could have been explained more. This would work as a Cinemax series. No, not one of the Skinemax flicks but more along the lines of Banshee and Strike Back. There was definitely potential with this movie and this story but it ends up just being a ho hum, low budget action flick with big ideas. -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio: Retro Movie Theater – D.C. Cab

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Kevin is joined with his long time friend Ken for the unveiling of Retro Movie Theater where in they go back to movies of yesteryear and review it as if it was a new flick. Sometimes, we will have seen it as a child and other times we will have not. While we may make fun of these movies, we’re not looking for Mystery Science Theater 3000 level bad movies. They kick off by talking about D.C. Cab which Ken feels like he watched as a family or did he? Was there any chance in hell that the DiFrango household would have watched this one? They move on to trying to figure out who exactly is the lead character in this movie. It certainly wasn’t Mr. T even though he is featured in all of the movie advertisements. Who all did make an appearance in this movie? Does the name Irene Cara ring a bell to you? Ken & Kevin move on to describing the plot of this movie about a rag tag group of cabbies in Washington D.C. Did anyone ever dream of becoming a cabbie in the big city? Do the cabbies want to make money or play pranks? Would the owner tolerate non-sense instead of firing the cabbies? How many ethnicities can the writers stereotype in one movie? They move on to talking about how many plots were in this movie. How many sub-plots can you fit into 100 minutes? Are any of them fleshed out properly?  Even if they weren’t, Ken & Kevin have this new show fleshed out so click on the link below!

Jack Swagger totally looks like Gary Busey

This courtesy of TotallyLooksLike.com, where, in the site’s infancy, Eric pointed out that Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force totally looks like Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. The sale of New Japan and the huge Raw rating aside, it’s a slow news day. -Eric

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