Liz Cena thinks John Cena was cheating on her. Um, so?

Don’t be hatin.

Breaking news kids, John Cena was cheating on his wife, or so she thinks.  Liz Cena, according to a post from TMZ.com, wait her name is Liz Cena? Eww, terrible name. Go with Elizabeth Cena or Beth Cena or by your middle name of Gold Digga Cena.

Anyway, she has sent the dog and by dogs I mean lawyers, out to see if John was banging out other broads before the marriage, during their marriage and during this separation phase. Here’s some quick legal and practical advice; stop looking, of course he was. He’s on the road all the time with copious amounts of young pussy, or even older pussy, throwing themselves at him like they were shot out of a pitching machine. What would any other person do but grab a bat and take a few swings. Get over yourself toots and save some money. Lawyers charge for every hour they can after all.

Compounding matters, over at Prowrestling,net, Ken Doane, remember him? No? Well, he should have been bigger than WWE ever let him become but then sour grapes. See what I did there, sour grapes? Huh? No? Ok, well he took to Twitter and said John was banging Mickie James. Problem is that Ken and Mickie were dating and he must not have liked knowing his girl was slobbing the knob of a WWE main eventer while he was curtain jerking.

Mmmmm, Mickie James slobbering down with those thick thighs, wide mouth, juicy lips, bumpin ass, oh sorry where were we?

So yeah , Ken Doane says John Cena was banging Mickie James while Doane and James were dating. Thus she melted down like every emotionally stunted woman would do and she got released. The basic gist of this entire story is that John Cena is earning some mad respect right about now. He plows over a WWE Diva and it makes her go crazy?  Main event status solidified for at least another year. -Jeremy

Linda Bollea, young buck to appear on VH1 “Relationship Rehab,” totally not for gold-digging purposes

linda bollea

I bet she even *hates* money. Just the smell of it makes her want to vomit all over her bejeweled iPhone and mongolian horse-hair coat. (And, P.S., what the fuck is Charlie wearing? Tatanka is going to be pissed.)

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife Linda Bollea and her boyfriend Charlie Hill are two of the cast members on VH1 “Relationship Rehab.” It’s a good thing Linda won all of that money from the poor Hulkster during their very public divorce and is totally taking part in this show to strengthen her relationship with her 29-years-her-junior boy toy, not because she’s a money-grubbing c-unit recently described by Eric Bischoff as “a pig in every sense.” Haha, wait, I just had an image of this poor bastard Charlie carting a pig around like Arnold from “Green Acres”! *That* I’d like to see! -Eric

linda bollea charlie hill

Next on VH1, "Relationship Rehab," followed by, "I Love the Pork."

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