Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 8/27/11

1. Matt Hardy – Pointing out that he has made yet another mistake is just getting old.  Can he please do something that proves us wrong? Crashing your Corvette in to a tree isn’t going to do it. – Jeremy

2. Ken Doane – There has been a Ken Doane sighting, friends. He was announced as another member of The Wrestling Revolution Project. You may remember him, with a groan, as Kenny Dykstra. He should be on par with Dolph Ziggler or The Miz by now but oh well. – Jeremy

3. Todd Grisham – So he was wished a fond farewell by William Regal on NXT. Is this a joke? Grisham is going to ESPN? This has to mean he is covering soccer for the network right? Not sure I can take him seriously as an anchor on Sportscenter. Then again anyone doing Sportscenter is hard to take seriously. – Jeremy

4. Colt Cabana – Colt joins the aforementioned Ken Doane as a) a member of the new Wrestling Revolution project and b) another guy I was going to hire for my wrestling company as soon as I won the lottery. Dammit.– Eric

5. Ric Flair – Man, he got skewered by Grantland.com (and honestly so). The thing is, Flair would probably remove the skewer and try to use it as collateral.– Eric

6. Dr Pepper 10 – Sorry, with Matt Hardy dominating the news, there are very few wrestling-related things to talk about. So I’ll just promote the cool, refreshing taste of Dr Pepper 10; even with only 10 calories, it tastes just as much like regular Dr Pepper as Diet Dr Pepper. *kschkschchhh* *gulp* Ahhhhhhh… – Eric

7. CM Punk vs. Kevin Nash vs. HHH vs. John Laurinitis – Still plenty of speculation going on in this little storyline. I’m digging it. Good old Johnny is the main text sending suspect in my book but I’ll let it play out. It helps that Punk is still killing it on the mic. Bigfoot could give Pipe Bomb plenty of TV time, even more than a championship reign could bring. – Kevin

8. North Carolina Indy Wrestler – Sure, I might be piling on with Matt Hardy news but this dude needs to stop being a chickenshit. NCIW obviously enjoys being invited to the annual Hardy Holiday Party and partaking in the booze and the pills, so to not get himself uninvited he goes anonymous with his letter. Be a man, step up and say who you are. If you know Matt’s friends are enablers, why do you want to go to the parties anyway? – Kevin

9. Rey Mysterio – He’s gone for a while, kids. ACL surgery is going to put him on the shelf for at least six months. Heal up and come back for one last go around before your knees are completely shot. – Kevin

10. Ivory – There is a small island in the Pacific Northwest with a population of around 8,000. One of those 8,000 people is former WWE diva Ivory. Every year at the county fair they have what is called “Trashion Fashion,” which is where people use recycled materials to make costumes. This year, Ivory entered the contest. Her costume? Using discarded pet hair to make a poodle costume. You can watch video of this here (http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/sanjuans/jsj/entertainment/128023363.html). So if you’ve never met a furry, now you can say that you have. – Dusty

11. Hulk Hogan – He apparently still hates Vince Russo after all these years:

Apparently at the last PPV, when Hogan found out what the finish was for Sting vs. Angle, he blew his stack and cut a promo on Russo saying that he didn’t know anything about wrestling because he was never a wrestler. As if you were a wrestler it makes you immune from not getting how to book wrestling . And if you weren’t, it immediately drains your IQ to where you think the only guy in wrestling who makes sense and knows what they’re talking about is Ultimate Warrior. Well, given that most who watched the show had the same reaction as Hogan, groaning over the finish, it has nothing to do with being a wrestler. But at TV, they were back to at least giving the idea whatever heat was gone.

I hope you can get past just how awful Dave’s writing was there. In any event, as someone on a message board pointed out about this, I wonder what Hulk thinks of Eric Bischoff and Dixie Carter. Also, you’d think he could use his stroke to push Russo out of the company. It’s almost like he’s full of shit or something. But… that… can’t… be… – Dusty

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Flair’s people address Grantland.com article

This man can smile today because while he does have alcoholic cardiomyopathy, he does not have alcoholic cardiomyopathy.

Have Figure Four’s people call my people:

Flair’s representative addresses the recent story

The following is a statement released by Ric Flair’s Agent, Melinda Morris Zanoni, of Legacy Talent and Entertainment, LLC:

“Mr. Fliehr has declined to comment on the “Grantland” story published this week, as he has consistently with media inquiries regarding legal affairs. While the information gleaned from courthouse records may be credible, Mr. Fliehr is currently evaluating his legal options with respect to falsehoods in the story, specifically the untrue statement that he suffers from alcoholic cardiomyopathy. Our client understands that these allegations are part of the territory when you are not only famous, but a living legend. Ric Flair is a sports entertainer, which has been a lifelong passion that he still enjoys delivering to his fans today, along with his work outside of the ring with various charitable causes. We will be sure to advise Mr. Fliehr against running for County Treasurer and instead to continue entertaining his millions of fans all over the world as he has been doing for the past 35 years.”

Well, that solves that then. Oh wait a minute! http://books.google.com/books?id=wMItEY4Z_SYC&lpg=PT439&vq=cardiomyopathy&pg=PT439#v=onepage&q&f=false

Through my many years of partying, I also developed something called “alcoholic cardiomyopathy,” a weakening of the heart muscles. I first detected that there was something wrong when my heart began skipping beats. I went to a cardiologist friend who told me that when your heart pumps, it expands like a rubber band. But mine was doing it too much. Initially, I thought that steroids might be responsible, but the doctor dismissed this theory. My heart was fluttering from thirty-five years of hitting it hard.

Oops. – Dusty

Bill Simmons of Grantland.com interviews CM Punk

"Well, hi."

I’ve been waiting for this one for about a week: Bill Simmons, famous from ESPN.com’s Page Two and creator of Grantland.com, interviewed CM Punk and posted the audio from it today. (Click here to listen.) Punk discusses his new theme song, Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality,” how much of his infamous Monday Night Raw promo from last month was planned, how close he really was to leaving WWE to go home and sit on his couch, who influenced his career both as a wrestler and as a child, and what went into his invasion of the San Diego Comic-Con. He also puts over various members of the roster, so listen up for those. Simmons has a very laid-back interview style, and Punk seems to be totally on the level here; it’s an interesting listen and worth checking out.

Grantland.com continues coverage of CM Punk-John Cena-Vince McMahon storyline

cm punk

Everybody Loves CM Punk

For those of you who aren’t wised up to Grantland.com yet, well, you better get smart, buddy! Created by Bill Simmons of ESPN Page 2 fame, Grantland.com is a great time-killer with some fine long-form column writing by prosiasts such as Chuck Klosterman, Andy Greenwald, and David Shoemaker, who fancies himself the professional wrestling expert of the site (this inclusion should come as no surprise, since Simmons commonly reports on pro wrestling via his ESPN platforms) under the nom de plume “The Masked Man.” He’d only score more points with me if he called himself the Yellow Dog.

Anyway, Shoemaker cobbled together the cluster of facts, myths, rumors and assumptions from the past month of WWE television to shine a more mainstream light on our latest great worked-shoot storyline, beginning with CM Punk complaining about his perceived value within WWE via Twitter, continuing with his epic speech where he ripped back the curtain on WWE’s backstage politics, climaxing with Punk taking the WWE Title off John Cena’s waist and placing it prominently, um, in his refrigerator, and trudging forward with a Bigfoot sighting in the form of Triple H taking WWE’s reins in a reflection of a transition that’s probably going to happen over the next few years. Shoemaker has a great outsider point of view on the whole thing, one that’s worth reading and keeping up on. -Eric

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