Jeff Hardy returning to Impact Wrestling?

Apparently being Hardyless is too much for TNA so they are bringing Jeff back? According to his Twitter handle , @JEFFHARDYBRAND, this sure seems to be the case.

Ok it’s official…time to go back2work!I will be in Huntsville,AL this Thursday with ImpactWrestling!!!!

Now look, eventually a punching bag loses its sand and you have to replace it. The easy thing to do here is bash TNA for bringing back Jeff in the face of all of his continuing legal issues. Couple this with the fact they just fired his brother for being a slovenly waste of money and it just seems like piling on, doesn’t it?

According to Kevin

TNA is just making sure he doesn’t get in any more trouble.

Heavily drenched in sarcasm of course, but is anyone else just exhausted by TNA’s poor decisions? Typing this post is draining enough. Do you realize how hard this is to come up with vague mentions of possible drug use and stupid behavior? Has anyone considered that we post news on the Hardys just because we have to? No one with at least 1% discernable taste in anything that isn’t total trash gives a shit about these guys now, but yet here is yet another post.

So TNA is bringing back a potential felon and fired his tub-of-butter brother because he “impaired himself” and drove his Corvette into a tree, only a few weeks after their buddy decided to drink and drive and wreck his motorcycle, fucking up his life as well as the life of his girlfriend.  Clearly we are talking about people who have all of their shit together. Yeah, we all make mistakes, but constantly making them is just tiring to write about.

Wait, this just in: No one gives a shit about Shannon Moore and his fucking book. Enough already.

In review:

Jeff Hardy: Felony rap pending. In no shape to perform and wrestles a five-minute PPV main event. Still has a job with TNA.

Matt Hardy: Lazy-eyed dolt who was suspended from TNA for being a gravy riched nothing. Gets drunk and runs Corvette in to a tree. TNA fires him.

Greg Helms: Fired by WWE. TNA shows no interest. Wrecks motorcycle while drunk.

Side note from Eric:

Do you think these guys drink out of jugs with ‘XXX’ written on the sides? Or does Bacardi Trash mixed with Mountain Thunder taste better mixed in a classy plastic cup?

Shannon Moore: Who gives a fuck. -Jeremy

Matt Hardy Joins The Fun

It’s about time we had some old fashion drunkenness to report on in the world of wrestling. Last night, according to everyone but cited on Prowrestling.net for fun, Greg “Hurricane” Helms and Chris Jericho were arrested for public intoxication.  They were arrested in Kentucky of all places. This normally slides as common behavior but it gets better.

They apparently started fighting in a taxi cab and then took it outside a gas station where Helms hit not only Jericho but the other passengers in the cab, one of which is a female. Yup, Hurricane went Parallax on everyone including the women. Idiot. Unless he was going berserk, swinging his arms like a lunatic and accidentally struck her. If not, well he is going to get what’s coming to him.

As Dusty said “In any event, WWE should fix this by firing Helms and giving Jericho a two year long World Title reign.” Oh and to make matters worse, Helms was last known to date Velvet Sky.

But wait, it gets even better. TMZ.com is now reporting Matt Hardy fled the scene like a bitch. Once the cops were called Matt ran for it and never returned to the scene like Helms did. Who is dumber here; Jericho for staying, Hardy for running or Helms for running and then returning? According to the story they aren’t going to charge Hardy so I say running was a good choice. Even if it is a bitch move.

All of this begs the important question: what the fuck was Chris Jericho thinking by hanging out with Gregory Helms and Matt Hardy? -Jeremy

What The Hell is This?

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I have never had the venom for Greg Helms the way some here at Stunt Granny seemingly have in endless supply. I really liked the Hurricane gimmick until it was run in to the ground. I was even willing to give the Hurricane Helms gimmick a chance. Unfortunately, all of my goodwill has been splashed away like a sterile load in the face of a homeless man due to this pic on his MySpace page.

 Look at this dumbass tattoo. Unless Helms is going to wear a singlet the rest of his career he can never go shirtless without looking like a total fucking tool. I never go the whole tattoo thing anyway but something like this is ridiculous. It’s his last name. Why would you do that and really, why on your back? No one cares who you are. It isn’t a sign of strength or confidence it screams “Hey ladies, take a walk on the wildside. WILDSIDE! Then we can get in my Iroc Z and cruise around in all my manliness.” -Jeremy

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