The Walking Hines Ward

hineswardzombie

Picture from Getty & AMC

Hines Ward was forced into retirement by the Pittsburgh Steelers before this past season. Well, not officially really but seriously? Come on. (Should I put a Super Bowl reference in here just to get some extra hits?) That hasn’t kept him from getting his Cheshire Cat grin more TV time. First it was NBC to do football commentary and then it was on to Rachel vs Guy: Celebrity Cook Off. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, he’s going to be a zombie on the second half of season three of The Walking Dead. How did he get this part? Let’s use Ward’s own words?

A former Georgia teammate of mine is one of the stars of the show, and my agent thought it would be something fun and different for me to do

Who is this star you might ask? It’s T-Dog who is famous for, um, well, being a black man and making it to season three of a show that kills off regular characters at a high frequency. They won’t get to act together since The Walking Dead has an unofficial rule where you can only have one black guy at a time so T-Dog got killed off in the first half of season 3. Tyresse will be taking over the reigns in the black character department. I wonder if Hines will get to eat his brains for taking over his friend’s spot? -Kevin

Hulk Hogan = Guy Fieri?

Modern-Buckhead

According to Prowrestling.net (by way of Tampabay.com which has way more information) Hulk Hogan opened up a restaurant on New Year’s Eve in the city of Tampa. Hogan’s Beach started with a masquerade party since Hogan was clearly inspired by Eyes Wide Shut with his the outing of his sex tape. Considering that this complex is 20,000 square foot, he’ll have plenty of spaces to record his sexual exploits without someone squeezing him for money. This place is should be just as classy as the one Tom Cruise attended because there will be a mechanical shark you can ride and a white sand beach. I’m sure Hulk will oil down Brooke’s ass on the beach again but this time while Bully Ray looks on in approval. Hogan has 360 seats in this restaurant. Each of the seats is covered in leather tanned just to the right shade of Hogan’s skin so that it can be properly branded. He has already pitched a reality show based on his restaurant to CMT. I’m sure that’ll be a great way to keep your bare ass off of TV while you’re pounded the hot waitress that looks like a man just like your ex-wife and current wife. -Kevin

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